"What’s Her Name? I'll Look for Her."
(The author wishes to remain anonymous)
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of [www.PartnersInKindness.org]

We rarely go to the beach. Recently, my daughter has been suffering from a certain condition, and has discovered that the beach gives her a sense of calmness and peace. When she asked me to take her, I agreed. When she waded out into the water, I didn't give it a second thought. But moments later when the lifeguard announced that he was going off duty and swimming was at "your own risk", I began to worry. Scores of swimmers remained in the water, but my doubt and worry began to increase as my daughter was nowhere in sight.

I stood in my long skirt with my feet in the water, wondering how to find her. 45 minutes had already passed. I explained my dilemma to a nearby woman who shrugged and said "Everyone is responsible for himself." I felt a sense of panic. What kind of world would it be if everyone felt that he was responsible only for himself? Just then, another bather came out of the water. Feeling even more desperate, I explained my dilemma to him. Immediately, without hesitation, he said, "What's your daughter's name? I'll swim out and look for her." A while later, which to me felt like an eternity, my daughter came back to shore.

There is an approach to life in this world which believes that each person is responsible only for himself. This approach is tragic and dangerous. How many lives could be saved if our immediate response would be "what's your daughter's name? I'll swim out and look for her" -- a response that expresses caring for another person, even a stranger, and a sense of responsibility for the welfare of others.

Sharrhan:


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Thanks for the post, Kwan. It really hits home for me, dealing with my daughter's medical stuff and hearing about the lack of compassion from medical people and social workers whom she has to deal with.

Let the free market decide who should be cared about!!

(please note : I don't really believe that)

sundancer--
Yes, it hits home for me too; I've experienced a lot of the best AND the worst that humanity has to offer in terms of how people react to my husband's blindness and hearing impairment. Tomorrow we're scheduled to meet with the manager of our apartment building for a conference, because certain people in the building are angry at him for using his cane and inadvertently touching them with it a little bit when he enters the bulding and front lobby. It's so much easier and more fulfilling to be a caring person; it's really a mystery, isn't it, how the kindness and sensitivity aspect develops in some humans, and not others.

community builder--
;-p (I know.)

Sharrhan:


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Wow, Kwan, I can't believe people would complain about something like that! Hope everything goes well with the conference.

And I hope your daughter's feeling better soon, Sundancer.

Yeah, that's pretty insensitive, like b*tching about being touched in a crowded elevator or something. The beauty is, some people really do care. Maybe we wouldn't be as appreciative of the caring ones if we never saw the opposite, eh?

Thanks, Suncloud!

how the HE** else is he supposed to independently navigate his surroundings if he has to apologize 24/7 just in "case" the tip of his cane brushes someone's shoes

geeeee whizzzz

people always CAN step OUT of HIS way

instead of blaming him for being an independent navigator

i can't believe they are complaining about that

its their fault that THEY don't take stock of THEIR surroundings in order to move out of HIS way

give me a break!

kwan

i suggest that you request to be able to blindfold the people who are complaining ( and allow them to use the white cane) and allow them to navigate for 10 minutes only in the middle of a crowded shopping mall during christmas and see how they would fare

i can tell u for a fact that if i did that, the cane would probably be brushing more than a few toes

I read a quote that says that selfless service is a myth. This totally aligns with my own experience. I believe that caring is a two way flow, and that the reward of which is subtle in nature, not necessarily being realized in material terms, but rather indirectly as personal happiness. Caring and love is the answer to all problems IMO.

I agree Lightform. Selfless service is a myth. Strengthening others & one's community strengthens oneself.

The whole - look out only for yourself philosophy pretty much guarantees the self you are looking out for won't be very happy.

Souncloud/Soundancer/LaVeronique--
Thanks for the kind words. The meeting went really well. The apt. mgr. is a really cool lady. It turned out that one of the people that got mad at Jonathan about his cane went to the manager and made some nutty accusations-- one was that Jonathan 'popped his fake eye out' to intimidate him (Jonathan doesn't have a glass eye, lol, but he does have really pretty blue-grey eyes) and 'stuck his thumb in my chest and pushed me.' She kind of knew these accusations would prove to be false -- she knows us pretty well-- but she had to ask. Glad that got cleared up!

It's hard, but we just have to ignore these people and go about our business. Unfortunately, trying to have even a brief conversation with them about 'blindness awareness 101' is impossible; they don't want to hear it.

Something really good came out of the meeting: we're going to have someone from the Commission for the Blind come to a coffee hour in January and talk about some of these issues.

Sharrhan:


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kwan:

<<Something really good came out of the meeting: we're going to have someone from the Commission for the Blind come to a coffee hour in January and talk about some of these issues.>>

education is definetely a good thing