My friends little sister has just said she is in love with me, I tried explaining to her that im twice her age, its wrong, both morally and legally, and that she should try dating guys her own age, and that guys my age who date girls her age are creeps that only do so because younger girls are easy to control and manipulate, I also told her that I care about her as a little sister, but im not the least bit attracted to her, I know saying it that way probably hurt her a little bit, but I couldn't think of any nicer way to put it... but she still isnt listening, insists we are meant to be together, and that age is just a number, and all that sorta stuff... I think I need to have a talk with her parents and show them all the emails so they can get her some help, cause she is seriously obsessed and this is gonna go nowhere good if I don't put a stop to it right away.

My friends little sister told me that, waaaay back when in high school, and I ended up marrying her!

But, the age difference is closer - we are only about 2 1/2 yrs. apart, & she was a cheerleader, so that closed the deal for me at the time!


Just curious; how old are you? her?

Don't be shy about talking to her parents, she obviously needs a gentle eye looking out for her and you aren't the one to do it, that would be her mum and dad. She may be furious with you for telling them but then again, that's better than her imagining she's in love with you. If you can take the heat, that may be the best way to get her to cool it. Sounds like she could potentially get you into a lot of trouble, ruin your friendship with her brother, etc. Have a care.

She's what, thirteen? Fourteen? That's pretty aggressive for a child that age, and to be so insistent--it's past the point when mom and dad should've been involved. I had read "Lolita" twice by the time I was 12; don't assume she doesn't know what she's doing and that it couldn't end badly. Her next passion could be a secret predator.

she is 13, im 26, and I talked with her parents earlier today, 2 1/2 years isnt a bad age gap at all Juicerkatz,lol... the average age difference within marriages that last more than 20 years is 5 years, usually with the male being the older one... But yeah, her parents where actually quite angry with me till I showed them the emails so I could prove that I have done nothing wrong (after I told them, she insisted that im her BOYFRIEND!) And i dont assume Tamukha, I was a crisis counselor for 5 years, there where a large amount of minors calling, upset because they fell for some older guy, more often than not 30+ and things didnt turn out how they envisioned... Im more worried about this girl, as she seems to have an incredibly obsessive personality, Im jut glad she has no idea where I live,lol... hopefully her parents will get her the help she needs to stop this kind of behavior be4 it gets her really hurt...

well things have died down a bit, they are getting her some psychological help, and I also hooked them up with a decent program for monitoring your childs activity online... it turns out she has been involved with other older guys be4, which they got her to admit to after talking to her for awhile... all friends of her sister (her brother is younger, im friends with her older sister) and they plan on talking with them about it, although they arent entirely sure if they want to press charges yet, as since she did lie about ME, they aren't sure if they want to accuse other guys of it without knowing for sure yet... One of them I actually know, and Im pretty sure, he wouldve done it...ive...dont some rather violent things to him in the past for doing something similar with another friends little sister, I only went that far because he was arrested, and when he was she said she lied and he had never touched her... But I saw the look on her face when she first told her family about what he did...it happened... I even heard be4 I beat him up that he had been bragging about getting away with it... and when I confronted him (he is MUCH bigger than me) he laughed in my face and asked me what i was gonna do about it... I... knowing now that he went after another girl, I almost wish I had...eck...i dunno...I really hate this county...

Very cute.
At 13 though,I am sure its just a passing crush..........
Had many at that age.
Next week it will be someone new.

Vinny



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/27/2010 01:27PM by eaglefly.

Tamukha Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> She's what, thirteen? Fourteen? That's pretty
> aggressive for a child that age, and to be so
> insistent--it's past the point when mom and dad
> should've been involved. I had read "Lolita"
> twice by the time I was 12; don't assume she
> doesn't know what she's doing and that it couldn't
> end badly. Her next passion could be a secret
> predator.

Even if the girl is the "aggressor," she is most likely acting out and it is always the adult's responsibility to put a stop to it so I am glad that Curator understands this. The phrase "she knew what she was doing" simply doesn't apply if the CHILD is 12! Even if a 12-year-old knows about sex and even "comes on" to an older man, she really is still a child emotionally; she is immature and incredibly vulnerable to exploitation.

In many places in this world girls are married and expecting by 12 though. There are such things as perspective and cultural influence that make a difference, can't just make blanket statements...

usually married off without having a choice in the matter, and 12 is actually early in most parts of the world, most tribal societies dont marry them off till they are at least 14-16 as at or around 12, having a baby is likely to kill you, it has a high chance even in western society with access to all modern medicine... blanket statement or not, it is fully accurate to state that a 12 or in this case, a 13 year old child does not have the mental and emotional capacity to make an informed decision about having sex, even at 16 the amount of people who practice safe sex is far far less than it is even at ages as close as 20, showing an obvious increase in their ability to make an informed decision with age, the percentage of younger people with a sexual disease or illness of some sort is far higher among sexually active young teans, vs older populations of sexually active individuals... once again, showing the same.

That obvious inability to make informed decisions, and the ease in which people of that age range are manipulated, is why its Morally wrong for some one of my age to get involved with them, because it would be taking advantage, its practically the same as hooking up with a mentally disabled adult, and the average person would be put in prison for that as well.

banana who,

I was saying that at that age, I knew perfectly well what I was up to sexually, and that this savviness does not guarantee 12-year-old couldn't be horribly taken advantage of just the same as an immature and naïve one. That's why I said it was past time for the parents to have become involved . . . my gut instinct is that there's something not right about the supervision she's been getting since the onset of puberty, or something awry in the home, period. But I don't know enough about Curator's friend's household to have suggested that.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 06/28/2010 02:20PM by Tamukha.

I had a bra by 9 and was menstruating by 11, pretty sure I could have had a baby at 12. I haven't grown an inch or gained a pound since the age of 13 either, I was full grown by that time. That's neither here nor there though.
In this culture we are not socialized to be sexually responsible at the age of 12. We certainly ARE sexualized by that time though, by pop culture and our peers. I expect to see more and more of this sort of behavior, I read about tweens giving hand and blow jobs on the school bus as though it were of no more importance than shaking hands. Kids are grownig up quicker and quicker these days...

I think it's one thing to talk about sexual exploration of junior high age kids. But this is a child supposedly coming on to an adult. I think that is totally different. And even with those kids who are participating in early sex, I do believe that even in 2010, it's not necessarily normal for this to occur and that if it is happening, there is most likely something very, very wrong in the home. Just like with experimentation with drugs. There will always be a small percentage who get stoned at twelve or drunk at 11. Those children are much more likely to come from highly dysfunctional families. It's just logical. Because I live in an area with many close-knit families (two-parent households and some stay-at-homes) and the children act like kids, not miniature adults. Which is good. Which is how it should be. Plenty of time to deal with the adult stuff!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/28/2010 10:46PM by banana who.

Unless you're homeschooling though you spend a relatively small amount of time with your children compared to the hours spent at school & w peers, and unless you're curtailing all media access, those kids are being BOMBARDED with sexual images on a daily, hourly, moment to moment basis. It's foul. They are pushed to act like little adults and it's no wonder that a young girl would go for an older guy, it doesn't surprise me one teensy tiny little bit. Not that I am in any way saying that it's healthy or acceptable (in this culture at least). But it is inevitable. Unless we address the problem of a warped and unhealthy sexuality being delivered to them via the media and trickling down throughout our culture, we can expect more of the same. It's sick, it's true, but that's the way we're headed.

Coco, one reason I have always believed that a homeschooling network with other conscious families is the best way to go, if you can find one or start one. I just cannot imagine having kids and basically throwing them to the wolves! It's just too much to expect them not to be influenced by all that evil stuff. Sex is not evil, of course, but the introduction of pornography via the Internet is very dangerous, IMO, to young people. It used to be that a kid saw a Playboy mag in his father's garage and snuck a peek now and then. And the images were relatively tame and actually respectful of women. Now there is the grossest, most base kinds of images/behavior depicted. I would not allow my child to have a computer in his or her room! That strikes me as very scary. The materialism is the other way that children become conditioned in this world and I would want to avoid that, too. Well, since I don't have kids I can play "perfect parent" on this forum, LOL!

I guess we can pretty much all agree that the system is a bit messed up and centers far to much on negative behaviors... hopefully we can change that in the future, if not now.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Another negative influence are those video games. I actually think they are satanic and I don't believe in a devil. I do believe in dark forces/energy and I am thinking that this is done by design. Why would any parent allow their child to play with someone (making it seem like a game!) that has killing people, blood spurting out, dark music/slow beats, profanity, criminal behavior (Grand Theft Auto), women scantily clad, etc.?

Ok, banana who, I will come out and say what you have the diplomacy not to: Violent video games are of the Devil.

Fekking right they are! Have you seen the sh!t these little kids are exposed to? AAAHHH!! Even my conscious mama friends have videos and games (mostly belonging to DAD who is not so conscious about what's appropriate for kiddies) that they are uncomfortable with their kids having access to. How many people do you think have the news on tv or radio when their kids are in the room? I RUN to turn the radio off when the news comes on, the most atrocious things are delivered in that calm emotionless voice, geez. All day long too, bet you most people don't even think twice about their kids overhearing the daily news. Children have their innocence stolen from very early on.

Halo is about the only violent game, at least the first one, that I dont really have a problem with, as it doesnt show any graphic violence against humans, just some soldiers fighting off alien hordes... Im completely against games that promote violence against others as a form of entertainment, im also against music that does the same, movies, and tv... there are games which are just AWESOME like the game Okami, that is fun for ALL ages, and just an amazingly artistic and beautiful way to design a game... we need more games like that,lol.

Ugh... yeah the news used to scare me as a kid...id go to bed crying and have nightmares about all the bad things happening to people, the news has always been about all my dad has ever watched, now days he watches over 8 hours of it a day, its no wonder how negative and depressed of a person he is...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

I was at a firework show on Sat night,and there was a kid there,about 12 or so,who was totally engrossed in his little video game,gunning people down,and not even watching the fireworks.
I dont have kids,but if I did,they sure as heck would not have a computer,free access to the internet,or anything that fits in their palm and pulls them totally away from the real world around them.


I have such fond memories of watching fireworks shows.

Vinny

Vinny,

God. How depressing.

wuhhh? by 12 I was MAKING my own fireworks... oh wait...thats not exactly a wholesome activity either, is it?LOL... it was quite funny too, my parents where actually quite mad at me, till i showed them the whole process I went through, all the safety measures, even had a minimum 3 ft fuse on every"thing" I built,lol... made some pretty cool stuff... way more fun than a violent video game,LOL...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Vinny: Exactly! And I don't have kids myself. I am also not a carpenter, but I don't have to be one to know when a table has uneven legs...It's all about CONSCIOUS PARENTING. It's not about being a dictator, a control freak, but about actually thinking about what your kids eat, watch, do, who they hang with...It scares me how seemingly unconcerned many parents are about their kids having cell phones in their childhood/tweens, Internet in the bedroom, watching any movie they want. And of course, when it's too late they freak out playing catch up. I see all the time in the grocery kids who I know have been indulged the first 7-8 years of their lives. They say everything with a whiny tone because they have always been able to manipulate their parents. And as they get older, it finally sinks in to their parents that it's just not going to be feasible to give them everything and so the kid flips out at the sudden inability to do whatever.

I had a crush on one of my teachers when I was in 8th grade. He was smart and cute. Then again ALL the girls in the class had a crush on him. He was married with a kid though so the crush just remained a crush 4 EVERY body ... forever LOL

la_veronique,
you just reminded me of my seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Castle. He gave everyone a tiny photo of himself when school pictures were taken. I kept it for a lllooonnnggg time.


My favorite raw vegan

omg trive... how funnnnnnnnnyyyyyyy

too bad i never got a tiny picture LOL

Awwwww,LOL... Crushes are adorable, obsessions not so much,lol... you two sound like you where adorable kids,lol... I never had a crush on a teacher, but I did have one on this girl named crystal in kindergarten, we each gave each other a valentine that was nicer than what we gave out to the rest of the class (in our school, all the kids where supposed to give every other kid in the class a valentine...) and I actually still had mine till last year when I found it in my old "treasure" box,lol...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?