I have a difficult time dealing with the majority of human beings, or, well I guess that's inaccurate, I have a difficult time dealing with much of the things the average person does to other people... and have had an even more difficult time dealing with that lately do to a particularly horrific event, to tell the truth I was kinda bad and stupid tonight myself, Ive done something incredibly unhealthy, and responded to extreme emotional stress by drinking, im rather drunk at the moment, so this is taking a really long time to write, but thanks to the spell check on firefox, my spelling sure looks great, hahhhahahaa... dont get me wrong, this isnt normal for me, I had the momentary impulse to satiate a desire for escapism, and thought hey, allot of people use alcohol, and im fresh out of awesome books to read, I'll give it a go, but I think they are STUPID, cause you dont escape anything, you get trapped in it and it tries to CRUSH you and tear you apart, and blot out all of your light till you just feel like your buried under a mountains worth of dirt and youl never see the sun again... Im never drinking again, and im NEVER letting ANYONE, even my own FAMILY, use me again...they cant have my light anymore, they, ya know, I dont think I can even go on...I just cant... its just to much...

I have learned during my 10 years in law enforcement that alcohol is never the answer unless the question is how do I get drunk and do stupid things. I am sure once you are sober and you can reflect on this experience you'll use it to better your self.

hehe been there /done that (and just a few weeks ago too lol)

just carry on with a bigger resolve

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Water flush, dearie. Lots and lots of water, with lemon juice and occasional coconut water. And have a long chat with yourself in which you succeed in convincing yourself that it's OK to cut people who misuse you loose. When I do it, I don't look back and I don't feel sad, because I am a kind and generous person and if I evict you from my life, it is what you deserve. In turning my back on the wrongdoer, I am merely the instrument of their justice; I am not at fault, and thus can go on with my life, freely.

First things first... id like to apologize to everyone on the forum for drunkenly ranting on here... I'm sorry.

Actually Nubster, I agree, I was known in the past though amongst the party people in this town, as a good guy to have at your party, as Id never lose control when drunk, Ive even dealt with a number of medical emergencies while heavily inebriated, Ive just never drank while depressed before, and plus I've only gotten drunk at all twice in the last 2 years, I tend to keep my common sense about me when I get drunk, dont hook up with the random people that try to, I don't do stupid things, I just sit back, watch the party, and make sure nobody hurts themselves, and take care of things if they do... this time, I did do something stupid, but it was the drinking of the alcohol in the first place, as I really don't like what alcohol does to my body... and doing so while at an emotional low, AND by myself, was really stupid... and an act I do not intend to repeat.

Thank you Jodi for your comment, my brain is to tired to think of the word I was trying to think of,lol... so *hugs* that will have to do for now,lol...^_^

thanks Tamukha, I flush with water, and multi vitamins to replace the vitamins depleted by my bodies work to flush my system of alcohol... My problem with cutting people loose, for one, I wait far to long to do it usually, 2, I always end up losing allot of mutual friends, because for some reason no matter how abusive somebody is to me, people think I'm the bad guy for cutting them loose, and in this situation...Its my own sister... and she has done thing, both in the past, and some more recently, that aren't just normal brother & sister problems... some of the things she has done have almost gotten me killed in the past, and she is starting the same kind of behavior again... and I cant see any possible way to handle it that wont make things worse...

"I always end up losing allot of mutual friends, because for some reason no matter how abusive somebody is to me, people think I'm the bad guy for cutting them loose,"

Collateral damage - it can't be helped in many situations...

The same thing happens with me. I cut someone loose, a phone friend, about 5 months ago. I decided it was easier to not even try to explain why. I just quit answering the phone when their number came up - eventually they got the message...

Can't give you any pointers on the alcohol bit, as I have never been drunk...

Im not entirely sure why people find it so fun, maybe because so many use it as license to act like a fool, they find it more liberating, where as I have never really felt that, I do tend to feel more confidant when drunk though, but im getting there on my own, I don't need alcohol for that... But yeah Juicerkatz, if you haven't been drunk, I wouldn't suggest it, its an interesting experience, but not really worth the aftermath in my opinion.

Having an alcoholic brother & seeing what it has done to his life is all the convincing I would ever need...

yeah, good point, thats why I never even drank a single drop till i was 21 (well alcoholic uncle, not brother...) and didn't get drunk very often, experimented with it for about a year, then have been staying away from it for the most part since then...

Oh, I had some drinks with friends tonight while we were playing cards and it was nice. Just a bit of simple giggly fun, nothing stupid or dangerous or regrettable. Well, I might have a bit of a headache tomorrow if I don't have some water tonight but that's a relatively small price to pay. We had a good time.
I literally can't drink to excess though, I throw if I have more than 3 so I might not qualify as technically drunk though I am feeling very happy.

All things in moderation, including moderation. Or all things that truly make you feel good and nothing that doesn't, whatever those things might be.

Back during my partying days I was very much the same way most of the time. I was almost always able to control myself, able to keep my head during situations that needed a cool head, helped others keep their cool, ect. That is not to say I didn't do some stupid (but never dangerous) things. This was all when I 20 and until I was maybe 22, close to 23. I started in LE when I was 24 and that is when I started to see what kinda damage drinking can really do. Family violence, suicides, helping EMS working pull dead bodies out of wrecked cars...these types of things happened all too often and was definitely very sobering experiences even though I didn't drink often at that point. So needless to say I rarely drink these and when I do it is almost never more than a drink or two.


Curator Wrote:

>
> Actually Nubster, I agree, I was known in the past
> though amongst the party people in this town, as a
> good guy to have at your party, as Id never lose
> control when drunk, Ive even dealt with a number
> of medical emergencies while heavily inebriated,
> Ive just never drank while depressed before, and
> plus I've only gotten drunk at all twice in the
> last 2 years, I tend to keep my common sense about
> me when I get drunk, dont hook up with the random
> people that try to, I don't do stupid things, I
> just sit back, watch the party, and make sure
> nobody hurts themselves, and take care of things
> if they do... this time, I did do something
> stupid, but it was the drinking of the alcohol in
> the first place, as I really don't like what
> alcohol does to my body... and doing so while at
> an emotional low, AND by myself, was really
> stupid... and an act I do not intend to repeat.

Dont worry about it buddy.
Alcohol is one of the most enticing and hard to overcome things in human life.
But it can be done.
Keep faith that it can be.
God bless.

Vinny

Thanks eaglefly, although my problem at this moment isnt really with alcohol, im having more of an issue with messed up people...

Unfortunately you can't quit messed up people. Too many of them around.

seems like it:/ Id be more than willing to trade,LOL... oh wait...hmmm, maybe not...being an alcoholic can chase away the good people too... then again, im not a mean drunk, im a cuddly one,lol

Curator Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> seems like it:/ Id be more than willing to
> trade,LOL... oh wait...hmmm, maybe not...being an
> alcoholic can chase away the good people too...
> then again, im not a mean drunk, im a cuddly
> one,lol

My brother is mean when he's not drunk, so when he is drunk, he is downright belligerent. You can tell a change in him even after 2 or 3 drinks.

I have an ex who's father was the same when drinking. He would be down right ignorant to his family so I was told. At some point he replace booze with weed and it chilled him out. Still wasn't a great family man but at least he wasn't mean anymore so they accepted it.

I can't smoke either, man does that stuff ever make me sick! But I'd rather a pot head than an drunk for just those reasons, they are so much more mellow. Herb smoking has been linked to a huge increase in the risk of testicular cancer though, how scary.

Yeah, my uncle was like that too...very angry man, worse when he was drunk... he probably would've chilled out allot more if he had just smoked weed,lol

just got this in an email,lol, ironic...

[www.youtube.com]

I can say that in all my years working LE, not one single time have I ever responded to a call where someone that was high on only marijuana was committing violence. Alcohol...well...I can't count how many times because there have been way too many. It's just disgusting sometimes how assbackwards this country is.

yup, its funny in that sad kinda way too, cause, and dont get me wrong, Ive tried it be4 but I actually do NOT like the way marijuana makes me feel, But it is about the least harmful mind altering substance a person can use, and what is really wrong, is the majority of our prison system is actually filled with people that go in on pot charges... and the vast majority of those are completely non-violent offenders... plus they have shown in countries where all drugs, not jsut pot, are legal, that the percentage of people addicted to any once substance or another is lower... probably the lack of that whole sexy "im defying the law" kinda thing, AND not only is drug related crimes almost non-existent compared to over here, Violent crime in general is lower... Me, I dont like drugs of any kind, But its nobodies business but the person who does the drugs what they do to themselves, as long as they aren't hurting anyone else...

I am not sure I could support legalized drugs but legalized weed would be ok with me as I don't really view it as a drug the same as coke, heroin, crack, meth, ect. But I agree...there are so many people in jail for marijuana charges. I have for a long time theorized that legal weed would over time decrease the usage. I think there are many more people that use it because it is illegal than don't use it because it is illegal. There is a certain mystique to it. An underground kinda feel that makes it exciting and alluring. I used it the stuff when I was younger. I liked it in fact. But I grew up and realized that it wasn't worth the legal ramifications if I continued to use it.

Well, I lived in the land of herbal cigarettes (BC) and let me tell you, it SERIOUSLY funds some evil underworld activity. I would easily and heartily prefer to see that money going to the Gov't as tax dollars than to a bunch of horrible gangsters who also sell the deadly white powders as well as engage in a multitude of other nasty behaviors. We create an environment where that element thrives by keep MJ illegal. It's a harmless weed, sure it might be habit forming and it's usage is linked to some illnesses but HELLO! Nowhere near the negative effects of tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, or even sugar. Weed is far more evil as an illegal substance than it would ever be if it were decriminalized. Do you know how many rental houses are destroyed because they are used as underground grow-ops? Sheesh. A little simple legislation could pull the rug right out from under the shady underbelly of this country liketty split. Bunch of egg headed morons running this country when a stay at home mom has things figured out better than they do *grumble grumble*.

lol, yeah, thats why LEAP (Law enforcement against prohibition) wants to legalize it, to pull the rug out from under the criminals... although that also means poor dudes that cant find a decent full time job, wont be able to get jobs in the field making ove $300 in a single day trimming...but hey, thats only a couple times, every 3-5 months anyway... maybe the government will hire trimmers...lol

You're not exactly a poor dude if you can make that much green from green every 3-5 mos though, are ya? I gotta say, I know plenty of girls who've sat with scissors more than once to supplement a single mama income and it's not a hurtin' wage, if YKWIM. The ones who can go to camp clear tens of thousands in a couple of months, they get fed and entertained too. The gov't is losing billions of dollars every year on this one, it's ridiculous. Not that I am generally all about the gov't making more money off of people but in this case... yes, I am.

yeah but thats one single day every 3-5 months,lol... usually closer to 5, at least in my case, you dont clear that much money up here because the mexican gangs dont hire locally, you just get the work from friends who are doing small time grows... id love to get in on the picking and trimming for the big grows... but a white guy has no chance of that... Im all for the gov making more money on this, but id really like it if the gov would also concentrate on becoming a tad bit more efficient in its use of funds as well...lol(understatement)

Sounds like reffer maddness to me, Ive lived in the Emerald Triangle for 37 years,
Mendo Humbolt countys, Mexican cartel yeh there are a few, but mostly white boys up here. The good and the bad like the rest of the world.
Check out Cash Crop the documentary not the movie, and you will see a the other side. oh yeh this mexican cartel thing, lets build more walls A? propaganda soup!
When a drunk comes to a stop sign he runs it,
When a pot head comes to a stop sign, he waits for it to turn green,
Does anyone on this raw site eat canibiniods for health?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/30/2010 11:46PM by riverhousebill.

hemp seeds are amazingly good for you, I wonder how theyd be sprouted...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

I like hemp butter with garlic. Yummy. I put it on celery and some times carrots as well and cuke slices like a fancy hor d'ouerve .

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

for my

TUMMMMMM


eeeeeeeeeee...