I have noticed something lately which is troubling: the high incidence of unhappy/hissyfitting kids in society. I used to think the parents were just too lax or somehow spoiling their kids, but since I began a Master's program in Special Education, it seems to me that this is probably due to toxicity: vaccines are probably the main culprits. Poor diet another strong factor, I would think. The main symptom I am noticing is the meldown for no reason. I see way too many kids who (let's say) are in a cafe with Mom, everything is fine. Oh yeah, she gave him chocolate milk and a cookie at 9 am, so that's the first mistake, but still...After an hour, she announces that they are leaving and the kid goes absolutely hysterical, red-in-the-face, kicking, screaming...I just witnessed this morning a mother standing at a corner waiting for the light to change, grab her young son's hand and he started wailing and pulling away. Before I would have assumed that she had previously allowed him full reign, is trying to retake control and he's spoiled. Now I think that he's nuts. Plain and simple, he doesn't feel good in general and anything his mother does will automatically be opposed because he's not in his right mind. Oh, and another symptom I have noticed is shrieking, as in the ear-piercing variety and not just 2-year-olds but up 'til grade school age. It reminds me of autism.

I am right now at my university, probably going to drop out of the program. I have always wanted to be a teacher, but it's becoming increasingly less like my childhood classrooms and more anti-teacher. Teachers are blamed for students' lack of achievement completely ignoring the pink elephant in the room: dysfunctional families/uninvolved parents.

banana who,

Hoo boy was there a daunting but very nitty gritty discussion of this very issue the other day at a political website I go to. If you want I'll send you the link. In my experience with this stuff, I think diet, as we agreed on another thread, does have an important role, but more and more often I see parents who just have no idea how to discipline their kids. I suspect it's for the same reason that I see more and more impatient, self-absorbed adults--they lack discipline, too. You can't expect someone who isn't fully realized psychologically to know how to shepherd a child into psychological maturity.

I am sorry that grad school is a conundrum for you now

Thanks for the sympathies. It sucks because I got a waiver, could have done the whole thing for free (unless I didn't get a job afterwards in Special Ed.), but I just felt like it was more indoctrination. I was so pumped about getting a Master's, too! But I really don't care about research and they are all about it at this level. To me, research is virtually worthless because you can never "prove" something 100%. There is always gonna be contradiction or at least some of the subjects who don't fall in line with what you are trying to prove. And in the arena of education, you still have to reach those kids. I think we need more compassion and intuition/sensitivity, not more research and intellectualism. I had a professor who claimed that they stopped doing research on sugar's effect on hyperactivity because it had been proven that kids tended to eat sugar at parties where they were already hyped up with excitement and so the studies ended after this "proof." I was furious! I suspect that the sugar lobby put the kibosh on it because they are so powerful.

Oh yeah, PM me about that site. I am curious...

I blame television. It alters the developing brain to such a degree as to have a life long impact.

I also blame a lack of time spent in the home with other family members engaged in a shared activity, like dinner. Sigh. Everyone is either on the computer, in front of the TV or glued to a video game or the phone. Even 7 year olds have their own cell phones these days, dslites, ipods with ear buds to cut them off from even having to hear the rest of the world. We are so disconnected and disjointed! On more than one occasion I've got up to my son's room (he's 9) and found a whole group of kids (4 of them once) each on their own ds, my son included (it is banned for the rest of the summer in our home). I couldn't believe it! The whole room full of kids, might as well each have been locked in a closet alone.

I also think kids get too many presents, many of them high value, with little to no appreciation for them because they are just handed over like nothing and there are so many of them. I know there was a time when a kid was lucky to have ONE old rag doll made from some ancient piece of clothing. Now they have so many toys they forget they even have most of them. Nothing has any value.

I want to move to the side of a mountain and build a mud hut.

Any moron with kids can tell you that their kids freak out after a sugar binge. It happens with ALL OF THEM! That's all the proof most parents need.
Red dye too, many kids can't have that. I've watched my son's friend melt down after a red candy, she learned to never give it to him and if he comes home in a freaky mood she'll call the place he was at and nearly all the time he's had something red.

LOL- sounds about right. I totally agree with you about all that. Chuck E. Cheeze is the type of place which symbolizes that for me: lots of noise, plastic, bad food (that is supposed to be the ideal food), and pseudo excitement versus nature. I am pissed about museums (USA) these days because many of them seem to be geared for kids nowadays with dumbed down signs, gadgets to press (to keep things from being boring?) etc. instead of simply viewing things as is, like when I was growing up. One thing which really bugs me are parents asking very young children what they want in a store. They are too young to decide that! They often seem to get overwhelmed at that much freedom and respond in a negative way. I can see giving two choices, but to just have an open-ended question is ridiculous. A great example occurred when I went to Trader Joe's (forgive me if I have already mentioned this): the cashier asked a child if he wanted a sticker? His mother said: "How many stickers do you want?" I rolled my eyes because sure enough, the kid said: "All of them." Of course he wasn't able to make that happen but WTF was the mother thinking asking a kid how many of something he wanted? She doesn't know he'd say all of them? Ugh!

What I am trying to say is that beyond the parenting missteps, I sense something more sinister and autistic-like in their behavior and with all this pushing of various shots these days, it wouldn't surprise me if many more kids have something on the autism spectrum which makes them easily overwhelmed, shrieking frequently, acting out. I feel sorry for parents who have to deal with that sort of thing because it must be very stressful. That's why it blows my mind how upset many parents get when I have criticized vaccines. It's like--don't you want your child to be okay? If they get autism, it could be for a lifetime! At least research it a bit before denouncing those who are questioning them.

Aye yi yi, the presents at xmas! I have asked family over and over again to cool it, I've imposed a one gift maximum but nobody cares. Overwhelmed, under appreciative kids who have a melt down and end up in tears every single year. It's freaking horrible.

The button pushing attention getting stuff is because of all those rapidly changing images on tv show, it alters how the brain reacts to stimulation actually making it less possible to quietly reflect on anything for more than a few minutes max. There have been studies on the effects of tv on kids, and internet googling on the adult brain too. Rapid fire satisfaction is the only thing that will do nowadays.

Hmm...it's funny because I cannot tolerate anything but lightning speed Internet! I don't even have it at home; I use libraries, but if it is lagging for some reason, I get so stressed, LOL. I think you are right about tv and there seems to be more of it with the computer picking up the slack. I did wonder if some of those banshees are trying to get Mommy's attention. I was at the market yesterday and this boy of about four stood up in his cart and shrieked like a wild animal while Mummy was oblivious. Everyone kept looking at him and I guess Mumsy finally realized and told him to shush, which did nothing, of course.

Well, one school of thought says not to give attention to bad behavior but I don't know how you think you can impose that on the public. Kind of not fair for everyone else within earshot.

I love JK Rowling and all the Harry Potter books - my children used to sit down when each new book came out and read for HOURS. I used to deliberately take time over mine so that I could enjoy it for longer and I used to have to say to which ever child it was 'don't tell me what happens'. My youngest son also romped through the 6 books written by Michelle Paver as soon as they came out.

But then he was only ever allowed about an hour of kids TV a day and didn't have any of those gamey things until he was about 10 and then time was really rationed on them. We have always loved watching wildlife programs together as a family and playing board games. My son, now 13, has been poorly with a cold and so for entertainment we have been playing Lord of the Rings monopoly - A LOT. He will happily turn off his X-box (which he only just got a few weeks ago ) in order to play a board game or have a game of snooker.

It's so different at friend's houses - I am always amazed and appalled. So few children read, particularly boys. At school it is seen to be cool to be thick or dumb. This is not the case in Europe - where being clever is seen to be desirable in school. I s'pose it's no co-incidence that we have the highest amount of anti-social behaviour and teenage pregnancies in Europe!!!

I think reading is a fantastic pastime for children but they need to be encouraged - it mostly won't happen on it's own. My son goes to a very alternative school - a fantastic little school where they still get stories read to them - only now, at their age, it's things like David Copperfield backed up with film and then making a play themselves of the story.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/25/2010 07:02AM by flipperjan.

Oh, my, I agree with EVERYTHING that has been said. Of course, it's not ALL or even the majority of children, but the numbers are significant.

Besides too much TV (which is probably ANY television for very young children),
too many material goods,
lack of time in nature,
poor diet,
abnormal brain development
(from passive entertainment and lack of real life experiences),
and other things mentioned...

I think the LACK OF BONDING WITH CONSISTENTLY PRESENT CAREGIVERS is a huge issue. Some parents cannot or choose to not stay at home with infants and very young children - I understand the need for day care - yet, I worry about centers where caregivers come and go frequently and about children whose parents who work too long hours.

With whom do these children make attachments, find consistency, feel secure, develop trust? When children don't establish those important early bonds their psycho/social development suffers and can have lifelong consequences.

Many young parents today have grown up in similar environments themselves. Now that they are parents, if they have those limitations from all of these factors mentioned, it just adds to the problems for their children.

banana who,
I quit teaching despite loving children, despite loving teaching (when I could fit in in between testing, managing behavior, attending meetings, monitoring children at lunch and recess, etc., etc., etc.), and despite having a good salary from many years of experience and a masters degree. Reasons were many, but managing child behavior and lack of parental support were on the list. I had one student who was multiply-handicapped from gross neglect - being fed only cookies and milk for three years. (She was blind and retarded, but did learn to walk and speak a few words when in my class.) Another boy threatened that his father, who was in prison, would get out and kill some of the children in the class. (Needless to say, this boy was quite a challenge to teach and manage.) Another father liked to carry his normal, perfectly able, very spoiled, nine year old daughter to her desk. (I told him that all students needed learned independence and responsibility by walking into the classroom on their own.) My sister teaches five-year-olds and she has had children bring in drugs and condoms. Did I say they were FIVE? I can go on and on. I just had enough. If you decide to teach, you'll also have some wonderful experiences. I had many great ones. Just be sure to choose wisely about where you choose to teach.


My favorite raw vegan

flipperjan,

The brightest children I ever taught all came from families that read A LOT and either watched little or no television. Children seeing their parents read helps tremendously. That you all enjoyed reading the same books and talked about them is beautiful. You obviously enjoyed spending time together. Lovely!


My favorite raw vegan

I feel sorry for kids who are starving and don't have enough food
or if they can't even drink water that is not disease ridden
or if they have rats running around their home and their roof leaking so bad that they are practically swimming in their home
i also feel sorry for kids who have to beg on the streets for every meal
and earn every stitch of clothing on their backs
and work in filthy factories for 10 hours a day ( these kids could be as young as 7 years old or younger)

I actually admire those kids who fight really hard at an early age to earn every thing they have. in a way, their fortitude enables them to handle a lot more than those who have had everything handed to them. the kids who express true gratitude at what they have ( like food, water, clean clothes, clean place to live) are most likely the ones who have had to work side by side with their parents ( farming, factory working, begging etc.) They are less likely to complain and more likely to grow up into very strong adults ( if they make it alive) and get ahead in this world. If the opportunity is not immediately in front of them, they will find or MAKE the opportunity. I know a lot of people who were raised in very adverse circumstances while growing up and they are pretty well adjusted and doing very well.Those that have had everything handed to them... well, it tends to weaken them to a degree as well. Just my observation.

Diet,tv (with that GOD AWFUL flashing and spinning and never ending drone of stimulus) internet.
Lots of things to screw up a kids head nowadays.
If i had kids,they would eat lettuce,meditate,journal,not watch a second of tv,and work in the garden

VINNY

Oh, that's what I said too. Before I had kids . I also swore up and down they'd never taste ice cream and not have any plastic toys. Reality is so different from fantasy though.

Ver, the most messed up adults I know are kids from wealthy families. Spoiled in the true sense of the word. But these days everything is being manufactured so cheaply that nearly anyone can afford to buy tons of fancy toys to play with. Huge tv's, all those gaming systems and music playing things.

You know, my ex has travelled extensively and he always said he'd never have kids in this culture because they are so incredibly spoiled and selfish and unhappy compared to the children he'd observed in the poorest countries with literally nothing, no shoes, every 7 year old had a tiny sibling they were nearly exclusively responsible for. He said these kids were the most brilliantly happy creatures, running around outside all day long, so grateful for any little scrap of anything. He just could not get over how impoverished they were but how cheerful as well. While children here have everything and then some and are sullen, angry, dissatisfied, selfish brats.

Well i will never have kids so subject closed!!!!

and boy do i remember smelling those little plastic army men that came in a 100 count bag as a kid



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/25/2010 02:40PM by eaglefly.

will not spill my seed to create anything but a happy kid.
so maybe should move to the woods,eat bark,and run naked

eaglefly Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> will not spill my seed to create anything but a
> happy kid.
> so maybe should move to the woods,eat bark,and run
> naked

"Spill my seed...run naked..." Interesting visuals for 11:33 am. Whoa...

yea isnt it?

:



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2010 07:01AM by la_veronique.

I'd love to adopt or be a foster parent. Member of a secret anthropological movement, me

I looked into both when little and I were living in BC but it is a very difficult process here in Canada. Adoptive and foster families are needed but it's super hard to become either.

The other day I had another encounter with exactly what I am talking about. At Trader Joe's they have mini carts and this little boy was yelling in an aisle, which made me notice him. He didn't want to push his cart in a certain direction or something.So I went about my business and when I was waiting to pay, I saw the boy in another line with his parents and he took his little cart and just pushed it hard into a woman waiting to pay! It just smacked her and I was agape. In the parents' cart? A gallon of milk and a carton of ice cream. I thought about how casein from dairy, along with gluten from grains, have been implicated in autism cases and that perhaps it would affect other issues related to children's behavior.

like coco said i would love to be a foster parent but the hoops to jump thru here in canada are insane

pity as there are alot of good folks that have alot of love to give

unfortunately the ministry up here is more concerned about covering their ass rather than whats good for the goods alot of times

a friend of mine lost her foster kid for buying her a horse, the foster kids crackhead mother tried to sue the ministry saying the kid was put in an unsafe environment (like a crackhouse is safer ...?!?!) so the ministry pulled the kid out and put into a group home

stuff liek this happens all the time its really heartbreaking

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

a horse?

well, it could be dangerous
but you know, there is a right way to ride them and an unsafe way
and they could always get lessons and learn
so this makes no sense to me

then again, maybe the mother who had drug issues actually just felt sorry for the horse and wanted it to be wild and free

who knows

Sooo, by that logic straping your kid into a car seat and taking them for a drive is endangerment. I mean, more people die in car accidents than any of kind of accident, don't they?
Sheesh.

Sounds like guilt and jealousy rule the choices of that parent. Sad.