I have a friend who is dying of stomach cancer,and she drinks her days away,and has given up hope.This is a feeling of utter hopelessness.She is literally the last woman in my life at this point.

I have told her about the Gerson history of curing cancer.

Has anyone had a friend that gave up on life,when there is possible hope?

Vinny

Yes. And my advice is to weigh odds of getting through to this woman, and should they look good, to be as loving and positive and peaceful a companion as possible to her as you encourage her to love herself back into health. And should the odds look poor, to be as loving and positive and peaceful a companion as possible as she approaches the end. It isn't easy, but handling a thing like this with grace and generosity is never the wrong way to do it. I am sorry this is happening to you, Vinny, and I wish you peace.

where can i find the strength.
sitting here at 4 am totally wide awake and wondering what its all about.

thank you for your insight.

who was your friend that gave up?

friends yes and family vinny

where to find the strength , idont know , if you find out the answer let me know

cancer seems to be hitting record highs, i friggen hate it !

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Vinny,

A childhood friend who relegated himself to guinea pig status because he felt his life was already over[not correct, IMO], and my mom; towards the middle of her treatment, she got passive and stopped fighting although her prognosis wasn't dire. Fatalism is the enemy of hope.

I know it is hard to stay positive, and the cosmos doesn't give you the Big Answers. You must seek them in yourself. My attitude was, well, if this person's giving up, I can't--I can't "do nothing." Ultimately, it isn't what happens to your friend that will keep you up nights: it will be your feelings about how you handled it. Take it from me, regret is a hard devil to shake off. But knowing that you helped someone selflessly and graciously through their life's greatest struggle will help you to heal, to find solace in simple things, and to discern the inherent meaning in your life. You may not like reading this, but your life's meaning at this point in time may be to support your friend with whatever energy and courage you have. I wish you well, Vinny.

I have been talking to my friend every night,and she now says she has a suicide plan for Labor Day.

Just in lala land watching this friend exit this world and nothing I can do to stop it.

Vinny

Vinny,

Is this a morbid cry for help? Or is she rationally deciding that this is her best option, and is just appraising you so you aren't shocked?

Arent all mentions of suicide a call for help?

She has stomach cancer,and refuses to hear anything about going "off the grid" and looking into natural cures.The doctors just want to cut out most of her stomach,and she is extremely thin already.
Yes she has family issues,and a dark past too with alot of losses.

I am just wondering if I should intervene in some way.
Or just watch her go,and add her to my list of women I cared for just vanish from my life.

Leaves me myself feeling like wtf.

Vinny

Vinny,

As to the first point: no. There are people that are of sound mind and pacifically resigned to a death of their choosing who mention when they are going to take their own life. Think of assisted suicide patients whose spouses are with them when it happens; it's planned and peaceful.

As to the second point: is there a possibility that she can be healed, that is, is the diagnosis not too far along for any means of healing? Is she making this decision out of fatalism--she has no time left so she may as well wallow--or out of depression? Maybe she's just drinking a lot to cope with the diagnosis, if she got it recently, and will be willing to listen to reason in a few days or next week.

If there is hope for a recovery, have you asked her point blank if she is ready to die without regret even if she need not? If she's answered that she isn't ready to die, have you asked her point blank what has to happen for her to want to live? Maybe she doesn't know what she wants, and hasn't faced her answers yet.

Or maybe she's just had enough and wants to finish it sooner rather than later.

Vinny i sypathise because from all accounts you are having a hard time of it right now, but this isn't about you.

don't add her to a list of women that have vanished from your life - she isn't vanishing , presumably she is dealing with her lot as she sees fit -

Good point, flipperjan.

please order this book... it is loaded with hope for anyone who is threateded with cancer.

jj

[www.amazon.com]

no advice from me

except to say that its not vinny's responsibility

and regret is not regret unless you feel it

and why should he feel guilt

it is beyond his control

no one has any control over another person's actions, thoughts, attitudes, emotions

that is waaaay too much of a burden to put on another

no guilt

no regret

those are not good motivators

love

however

IS

let that be your compass

ignore everything else

love comes in different forms

sometimes it is giving another person the freedom to independently make their own decisions

its not like you can change them anyhow

you can influence them

but the decision is ultimately theirs

may the Spirit watch over you

in these difficult times

well said.

yea.
good advice.
as she called me with her final message last night.

Love???

@#$%& it

Anyway.....................................................

On to better situations.

Right?

Vin


if they exist.

Vinny,

You must make your peace with this. Or it will hold you back from the better things that do await you in your future. Yes, they do.

Tamukha Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Vinny,
>
> You must make your peace with this. Or it will
> hold you back from the better things that do await
> you in your future. Yes, they do.


Yes.

The day has come and gone when she said she would exit the world.
I have not been around to even find out what happened.

It all seems so senseless.

All I know is if she did go,then she must be happy in her decision.

Vinny

*hugs* vinny

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Thanks Jodi,

I am surviving pretty much on my higher power now.
And of course the raw veggies.

On we go,and excuse the harsh posts everyone.

Vin

Good luck vinny *hug*

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Got a confirmation email from her son that she is indeed gone.

So sorry, Vin. Hugs.

Im so sorry to hear this eaglefly horrible. Try look into ozone therapy.

youll have to direct me int that site.
found nothing referring to ozone

yea.

one step away from @#$%& offing me too.

got that hose all ready to tape to my car exaust

please vinny perhaps you could go to the hospital and tell them you are exhausted and full of dispair, please dont do something you cant take back

please

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist