a viable option?
anyone ever felt that way or had someone you know do it?????????///////

Ive felt that way, And Ive had some one I loved with all of my heart do it, It nearly destroyed me, and the rest of her friends and family...

Long story short,I had many attempts in the past, many that should have been successful but luckily for me, they were not... it took me a long time to get to the point where I was quite happy with that fact... But I realize now how lucky I am, every moment of pain, doubt, and self hatred I went through, has made every good moment Ive found that much more beautiful once I learned how to appreciate even the little ones for what they are... I look at all those years of hurting, as the price I had to pay (and was WORTH paying) for all the love I am capable of now.

Even a single match shines strong in a pitch black room...plus, one match is easily enough to light the whole room on fire...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Once, when I was 12. Came thiiiiiis close to succeeding. But then I thought about all the people that loved me, including myself, who would have been destroyed by my suicide, and I didn't do it. I was seeing a counselor then, about something minor, who recognized that I had psychologically murky depths and that the best thing would be to encourage me to get myself out of my own mess. When the suicide crisis actually arose, it illustrated to me in graphic detail some things about my circumstances I had obliquely surmised, but hadn't acknowledged, and that was my Saul-on-the-road-to-Damascus moment. I recall very rationally realizing that all problems are temporary due to the nature of Time, and that I could certainly do better for myself than giving in to this impulse. Most important, I realized in that moment that it was up to me to reverse course because no one was coming to help me, for ignorance, indifference, or obliviousness. Now, that sort of epiphany can defeat you or it can give you a new sense of power over yourself. And that's what happened to me. I knew then that to choose to end your life from despair is weakness, and not the way psychologists mean--that you are leaving everyone bereft. No, it is weakness because it is betrayal of oneself. You are ultimately your only ally in life, and if your cannot count on you, well, who are you going to count on? I knew that I was not weak, just having a hard time for a bit. Therefore I should not commit such an act of weakness.

I don't believe you are weak, either, Vinny. Think about it.

Me too, heavily considered at age 13 or so. Right when hormonal insanity is common.
My step sister did it when she was 17. The last person she talked to was my mom, she didn't say what was going on only that she had wanted to talk to her dad. Must have been something in her voice 'cause my mom drove around to her dad's worksite looking for him but couldn't find him. She was gone by the time anyone could check on her. Destroyed my younger sister for her while as well as my step sister's older sister, our parents got divorced, there was a period of time that was a big ugly mess. Hundred's of people came out to her funeral, she had so much support if she had only wanted it, if anyone had only known... When I think about how different her life could have been a year later, two years, all these many years, I can't see that it was a good thing that she did. She was confused and messed up and angry and felt lost but... we all go through periods of time like that. They are SHORT compared to the rest of our lives. Most of life IS good, and when it's not terrific it's at least neutral which can still be good if you have a good attitude about it.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I can see it happening late in life when ones usefulness
is over. I'm not ready now. If we look hard enough we can all
find a reason to live.....WY
P.S. I had a brother who ended his own life at age 29. I partially
blamed myself for not spending more time with him.

What if you had spent more time with him and he'd still done it though? You just can't take responsibility for someone else's actions, there is always a "What if?" Always, no matter what we do or do not do...

I never think of old people as useless, they have things to teach us just by being alive. If I were old and very sick (or even young and very sick, terminal) I wouldn't want to be medicated into longer life, I'd just want to be allowed to let go I think. That's a different story all together though.

Wheatgrass Yogi Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I can see it happening late in life when ones
> usefulness
> is over. I'm not ready now. If we look hard enough
> we can all
> find a reason to live.....WY
> P.S. I had a brother who ended his own life at age
> 29. I partially
> blamed myself for not spending more time with him.


I get that yogi, I blamed myself for my girlfriends suicide to, I was a crisis counselor, had stopped dozens and dozens of people from committing suicide, and yet I wasn't able to help her... but coco is right, we did our best, and we are not responsible for another persons decisions...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

eaglefly

to answer your question of whether or not it is a viable option

i think the answer is

yes

but death just like giving birth

is one of those irreversible things

so it must be thought out very carefully

why do u ask vinny?

No offense meant, but are you all right, Vinny? I'm sure we all are a tad worried about you, given this post and your subsequent absence, and I know I miss your contributions to the forums.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2010 02:28PM by Tamukha.

ditto.

Thanks.

I am fine.

Just a question I had and doing alot of soul searching.
Life has recently become a total illusion to me again,and somewhere I am able to find my higher power and still get in touch with some reason to be here.

Bit it all ends up feeling so solitary.

If you all are thinking relationship troubles again,you'd all be right.

Vinny

One thing I WILL say is that I am getting insights to never let go of the raw eating,and juicing,and fasting, and go back to the food escapes I had been into. To do that would never allow healing to take place.

Vinny

Vinny,

I don't know where you are in Pennsylvania[you are in Pennsylvania, right?], but you sound like you could use a visit to Arnold's Way in Lansdale. Haven't made my Hajj to there, yet, but I know from the store's videos on YouTube that it would be an uplifting experience

A young friend of mine just attempted, now he is not allowed to go to college and he isn't to be left alone. His parents are sending him to some ulta expensive year long rehab. Another person I know, my best friends sisters boyfriend tried to off himself, shot himself in the temple, but the bullet went through, in front of his young son and his mother no less. He is in a coma now at county hospital.

I think there is a collective consciousness thing going on right now, that so many people are hurting in so many ways that we are all feeling it, even when it is not our "own stuff". And when we do have our own problems, they can seem catastrophic.

Sending hugs,
and I think what coco said deserves to be repeated

sucicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem.

hey eaglefly vinny

sent u a pm

I've thought about it...still do...too often in fact.

Nubster,
My gut feeling is that its normal to get fleeting thoughts of what it would be like to voluntarily go to the next plane.

But do you always get the feeling that your work isnt done here yet?
Like there is one more thing just around the corner to learn?

vinny

Tamukha,

I lived near Doylestown for many yrs so I know where Landsdale is.
I could Trek over there and check it out.
Thanks!

Vinny

Vinny,

I'm sure you'd find it useful:

[www.arnoldsway.com]

Good luck

I don't personally think there is anything after this life, I don't think I'm here for a purpose either. I've never really needed that sort of definition of what, why and how to be just simply happy to live, day to day, doing stuff and learning new things. When I was a teenager I was miserably unhappy, other kids were VERY mean to me because I was "different" and we lived for a period of time (12-14) in isolation on a hippy commune up north where there were No other kids my ages except for one very creepy dude. That was an unhappy time in my life, the only time I ever considered ending it all.
Since I read the book Loving What Is by Byron Katie I have a hard time getting all wrapped up in things the way I used to. Life simply is, it just is, nothing else matters but this moment right now...

Hi Nubster,

Just thought i'd drop a line and give you a hug.

veronique

Coco,
I wish I could believe there isn't anything beyond the current life. I find the sense of purpose to be something to hope for and to inspire. I used to think it was a sort of cosmic thing, but now I am realizing that its what I decide to make of things. I also have a hard time with thinking that I'm nothing special, that I am very easily replaceable. (from an employers perspective)

Criticized for being 'different'. I have had that before, and I just hate that, especially when its said like its a bad thing. I am the opposite, I usually hate 'normal' or 'average'. It seems to boring, thoughtless, uncreative. But I am trying so hard to come to accept normal, because its just easier most of the time to relate to the masses, and not be perceived as 'different'.

Maybe I'm not working hard enough, I just cringe, itch and shutter,at the thought of trying to be 'normal'.

I believe when we leave this world, our energy goes to compose new elements of outer space: planets, moons, stars, dark matter. You gotta make this one count, because this is where you possess consciousness that may affect where you go afterward, but no one is ultimately useless.

As you can see, Mislu, weird is good. So when someone tells you you are different, smile congenially and sincerely and agree.

While I would never encourage anyone to kill him- or herself, I really object to people who do commit suicide being described as "weak". It is not inherently weak to want to end severe pain that is not alleviable. There ARE people who are caught between a rock and a hard place and, with a clear mind, kill themselves. It can be an injustice to their memory to say that they were weaklings. You cannot know for sure. Back in the 1960s & 70s some Buddhist monks set themselves on fire for different reasons other than personal distress, namely, to protest that nastiest of armed conflicts, the Vietnam War (mind you, the ones in Afghanistan and Iraq are just as bad). I would not describe those men as weaklings.

Further, it is not a crime to be weak. No one is strong every moment of their lives. Personally, I think that I have more times of weakness than strength. I've never tried to kill myself but it is an option if something unbearable occurs. It all comes down to one's religious or spiritual beliefs, that's all.

Horsea, I am referring to giving in to despair, which is a temporary subjective condition that passes. The examples you give don't correspond to what I mean, and I agree they aren't examples of weakness.

Tamukha Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I believe when we leave this world, our energy
> goes to compose new elements of outer space:
> planets, moons, stars, dark matter.

This is science, since energy doesn't die it's true that the energy, molecules etc that make up our bodies go on to become something else in the universe. That's what I interpret all the "next life" business to mean whenever it's being discussed. I don't think that we are unspecial, only not any more special than anything else and that's pretty spectacular all on it's own. As for purpose, etc, I can't believe any such thing. What we have is choice and what we choose matters to us, to humanity, to the earth, and ultimately to the universe which is no small shakes if you ask me. Just not some divine plan with our individual self specifically in mind...

Weird, different, whatever you want to call it, that's the spice of life. I'm not going to go around trying to be the bland macaroni and cheese of people. I'm a freaking rainbow salad with zesty dressing man. Love it or lump it, it's all the same to me what other people think of that!

macaroni and cheese doesnt have to be bland...raw recipes or otherwise ^_^

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

macaroni and cheese?
Somewhere in all of this,and with the warm fuzzies of memories of mac and cheese,I am feeling alot better.

Vinny

^_^ it does have that kinda effect, I tried a recipe last week for a vegan mac & cheese, wasnt bad actually... I have many pleasant memories of it as well though from my childhood, I remember one time for my birthday my mom actually made it for me home made, with zucchini and broccoli in it...she felt she was ruining it, but it was my favorite, so she made it that way,lol... probably still the worst food for me I ever ate health wise... but always makes me feel better...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?