Date: February 09, 2011 05:29PM
Have any of you had kundalini awakenings or experiences?
I'm in a process of integrating a recent and powerful kundalini arising, and I'm learning about kundalini.
I've never been hardcore into spiritual stuff, but now all of a sudden I have a seeming connection to the spirit world, or something like that. The voices were intense for a bit, but I've been doing clearings of entities and I feel more myself again.
Anyone can relate?
I can now have full body orgasms where I move a little, and then I let the kundalini serpent in me respond with body movement, and my whole body moves so fluidly and kinda slitheringly. I'm not really sure how this all works, and for a time I was fearful that I was gonna be possessed. I feel safer now as I've grown to have faith in the invisible hand of god and I think I will be ok.
I have felt close to leaving my body. It has felt like I have had opportunities of having very lucid out-of-body experiences. But I have declined these opportunities because I've been concerned that it might be a trick to get me to leave my body so something else could inhabit my body and I'd be stuck without a body until maybe I get a new body one day.
Lots of synchronicities have been happening. Ambiguous meanings often.
Yeah, just wondering if anybody else has been through this stuff.
Posted by: Mislu ()
Date: February 09, 2011 05:44PM
I've had a spark at the base of my spine during mediation. I have never been close to leaving my body, but have tried many times. I have been attacked by a spirt, actually several times in my life. I once heard wind and howling at a pentacostal church service. That scared the *^4# out of me.
Thats an interesting thought about something else taking over the body. I knew someone that claimed to travel all the time, but he never seemed to indicate that fear. If you are afraid of something remember you don't have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with.
Just before my father in laws death, I briefly inhabited his body, actually more like a cohabitation, perhaps at his request, to have someone who really understood him. i remember feeling so close to him after that. It was really, really something awful to know what it was like to have advanced cancer. I had to burn a candle and mediate for a long time after that. I hope this helps.
Posted by: Mislu ()
Date: February 09, 2011 05:46PM
oops, i guess i must have left my body once. It actually felt like him materializing onto mine.
Posted by: Curator ()
Date: February 09, 2011 05:52PM
I experience the occasional feeling like that with other people Mislu, but usually only with really special people... rare times when I meditate I wouldnt say I have an out of body experience per-say, its more like I feel I am still there, yet everywhere, kind of, or at least that is my perception of it after its over...I am not sure how to better describe it...
and to the original Post, I really love the word Kundalini... I dont know why...I just do.
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Date: February 09, 2011 11:13PM
I think the word kundalini is quite cool too Curator. Ah, the omnipresence, I feel that sometimes too.
Mislu, that is helpful, thank you.
I kinda felt attacked by a spirit too. Actually I'm not sure yet what the voices are, but I'm going with "spirits" for now. It was an alien spirit and it tricked me into harming myself. It was telling me that it was gonna possess me and kinda lock me in a demon cage where I would be like a background voice existing in a sort of nothingness, with no sensory input. I imagined it was gonna be like the most horrible form of torture to simply exist inside a black box of nothing indefinitely while something else controlled where I was and lead me around the universe in my little nothingness demon cage. I now feel quite gullible that I gave in to this voice.
Since then I've used the following intellectual ninja moves to see that things are ok, even if I were to be locked in a demon cage. The following quotes help: "change is the only constant", and "this too shall pass". Also, I have faith that the invisible hand of god is somewhat absolute in it's ability to save and serve and protect through time.
My aunt says she doesn't like the word alien cuz in a way we are all aliens.
Apparently there are billions of earth-like planets in our galaxy, so it seems likely that advanced beings are visiting earth and they may have invisibility cloaks and they may be whispering in our ears sometimes. We're clever monkeys with nuclear bombs so it would seem prudent for advanced beings to gently nudge our evolution along such that we don't destroy ourselves and our planet.
I also felt that a woman entered my body in recent weeks. It was a tingling in my hand flowing into my whole body, and suddenly my body felt super juicy and lively and, then she turned twisted on me and said haha sucker I'm inside you now and you're screwed because I'm not leaving and I'm gonna take over your body. I came to feel that it was not really the woman inside me but it started to feel like a copy of the program of the woman because it kept giving some repeated answers that sounded and felt automated, and I was being tested to see how I would react to such things. It's like I've been initiated into something. I've imagined myself as being a way shower or some such and well (and other stuff but I'll keep it to myself for now), but at the same time I remain humble and know that I still know not much of anything. All I know is my experience. And my experience has been a fricken trip to say the least.
Date: February 09, 2011 11:22PM
Also involved in the kundalini experience has been a sort of life review where I've had a good look at all the horrible things I've done since I was very young. I've done some messed up stuff as a kid and teen and I've payed dearly for my "sins" or "bad karma" or whatever... hopefully I can walk more wisely now... and not be bumped, pushed and pulled along due to negative karmic influences.
good karma all the way
or maybe no more karma at all
straight line dot wave
Posted by: banana who ()
Date: February 10, 2011 04:59PM
I have this book about the kundalini awakening experience firsthand. It's very important to let it unfold naturally and not to force it. Actually, I believe (as some others do) that schizophrenics may be sensitives whose kundalini was raised too prematurely. I believe that when people look like they are talking to someone (and no one's there), that they are talking to entities! Maybe the entities are not very high beings at this point, but imagine if this is true: then psychiatry would be turned on its head.
Jono, if you are sensing that entities are trying to gain entry, etc. then I think you are right to be very vigilant about this. Another possible mode of entry are intoxicants. Psychedelics like acid have triggered schizophrenic (kundalini?) experiences in sensitive types and I have heard it said that lower vibration entities hang around bars in order to enter the bodies of those consuming booze.
Posted by: Anonymous User ()
Date: February 10, 2011 05:25PM
My brother had a drug induced psychotic episode from which he never recovered. He's been a full blown schizophrenic since that day.
He is the one who had a heart attack from MMR vaccine when he was a baby though, diagnosed and medicated for attention deficit as a child etc. His first dose of anti-psychotics gave him a heart attack as well. Poor kid.
Date: February 10, 2011 06:28PM
Thanks for the thoughts coco and BW
Indeed, people in recent weeks (doctors and family members) have been trying to label me schizo, and I've been put on some drug Zyprexa 10mg a day which I'm not happy about because it seems to be dimming my short term memory and also making me feel sedated.
I've been researching how schizo is tied up with kundalini and shamanism:
Terrence McKenna connects schizophrenia with shamanism in this clip: [www.youtube.com]
Kundalini psychosis: [www.kundalini-teacher.com]
I've been clearing entities from me and asking that I only be in the presence of the highest beings who have the highest good for all in mind. I feel less bothered by entities today.
It seems like there may be a divine intelligence that I can converse with now, and this divine intelligence can take the form of a variety of voices and personalities.
Voices I've talked with include "The Machine", "The Nothing", "the programmers of reality", plus the voices of friends and family members and inanimate objects. I've wondered if covert gov ops are just messing with my head. I've wondered if I am being totally delusional about stuff.
I want to get off the zyprexa but I'm taking it for now as my mom insists I follow doctors orders so I can continue living in her house. I'm in a process of selling a website that should give me some chedda so I can move out and go do my own thing and find guidance in weaning off the medication.
This site on the "internally you" page has an interesting graphic and mentions the following:
"Creator has dwelled within you since antiquity, every lifetime as your silent partner, but no more. Desperate to contact you today in your internal awareness."
"your invisible silent partner wants out, into your internal awareness to end his suffering".
Whatever is going on with my mind, it's wild and weird, and I hope things continue to settle down for me.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2011 06:31PM by jono.
Posted by: Anonymous User ()
Date: February 10, 2011 06:32PM
How old are you Jono? When did you first start experiencing these sorts of things?
Posted by: KidRaw ()
Date: February 10, 2011 06:56PM
Sounds like you're experiencing the side effects of the drug. I'd ween myself off it gradually if I were you.
Date: February 10, 2011 07:17PM
I've been observing peculiar synchronicities for a few years now.
Also, in the past year I've been very clued into the mysterious powers of manifestation.
Maybe about 6 months to a year ago I did an experiment. I told myself I would see a woman wearing a blue dress at the Whole Foods shop. I held this intention firmly for a couple days. Then I visited the shop and immediately upon entering the door I turned my head to the right and saw a woman in the produce section and she was wearing a blue dress. I've also manifested an email to myself, where I held an intention that I would receive an email that had some message of significance for me. Before checking my spam folder, I told myself to check the "fifth email down" in my spam folder, and sure enough the fifth email down was an email titled "Note To Self!", and inside it contained an image with a sticky note that read "Note to Self! Stay on top of business", and I made some artwork about it: [www.thrivetalk.com]
But even a decade ago I was starting to wonder about the events in my life.
In 2001 I royally broke my leg while snowboarding, then months later was told that a mole I had removed came back as being melanoma according to the pathology report, and I felt totally lost after cancer diagnosis. Then went back to school and earned a degree in molecular biology and I researched all about cancer and I've come to see tumors as functional organs that the body produces to help neutralize and sequester potentially harmful levels of endogenous and exogenous substances, as if like accessory livers. It has sorta felt like my life has been authored to some degree yet I still have some amount of free will to do as I please.
Date: February 10, 2011 07:22PM
the kunalini energy i started to notice probably multi-months ago but at the time i did not know of the word "kundalini".
i was noticing that if i relaxed my abdomen, my abs would contract on their own accord. it's a subtle kinda of relaxing, like opening a space for the body to move naturally without effort.
i've since come see that the subtle kundalini energy can flow through my entire body and i can be very loose and free flowing with the kunalini energy. i like to let it dance around my neck and shoulders.
Date: February 11, 2011 12:09AM
trippy video [www.youtube.com]
In this clip a lady mentions about how kundalini brings all kinds of issues to the surface. I can see this as true as I'm now dealing with quite a few issues that have been on my plate for a while.
Date: February 11, 2011 12:43AM
on kundalini and the muse
Date: February 11, 2011 12:58AM
kundalini often mistaken for schizophrenia...
"Kundalini rising is sometimes a violent experience, radically changing one's subtle energy field (making it much less subtle!) and consciousness and perception of energy. The experience can be (and often is in the West) mistaken for insanity (usually acute schizophrenia) or emotional or physical breakdown on a fairly large scale. "
Posted by: Prana ()
Date: February 11, 2011 01:01AM
Hey jono, the author of "The Biology of Kundalini" is on this forum (Janabanana)
Date: February 11, 2011 05:25AM
This is how I see Kundalini:
Everyone sees it differently but often talk of similar expereinces, like near death expereinces. They have common threads if you look at all the accounts.
Mine was like this:
I had a particular string of synchronisities that was so deliberate that I cried one time I felt like I must be going crazy.
Then I saw a movie with a scene in it that disturbed me very very badly.
In order to process the residual emotions from watching that scene, I had to in the end lie in a meditation and go back to that scene and replay it and replay it and replay it and replay it in my mind.
After a time of this, very suddenly, a white rod of light shot up my spine and my brain lit up with white light, and then it connected instantly to a vast spiderweb of cords and rods of white energy coming from others on the earth and in the astral. My body sort of seized up, I guess you could say. I was Connected in that moment, to all sentience and love presence in existence, and was also a part of it. I was my white light, and I was the Web of Light at the same time.
I then remembered myself. As I found myself lying in meditation, I was slungshot (?is that a word?) into the deepest most vital part of the bottom of my spine. It was warm and RED, and I was small inside of it, comfortable like being fetal. I had a private conversation with someone I know about all the coincedences that had been happening to me that built up to this, and I had an AHA moment.
When I had my AHA moment inside the deep bright safe red of my spine, i felt the Kundalini begin to unfold almost exactly the way a fern's frond unfurls as they grow, and for the first time my Kundalini really stood up straight and stretched out through the full length of itself.
Not only did it stretch up my spine, it also stretched up and back through time, so that in the end of the experience, the red frond unfurled simultaneously with the white light that shot up my spine.
When it did, (this is going to sound really silly and batty and wacko) I entered some kind of upside-down land. I saw everything through the eye of my Kundalini, which sees exactly upside down from the way "I" do. Up is down, down is up, hands are feet, feet are hands, faces are nether regions, nether regions are faces, and there are no words only body language. I felt as though my hips were my shoulders, my glutes were my delts, my legs were my arms, my ha-ha was my face, and my face hung down between my legs and reacted to stuff. But it was MY will (as my Kundalini) that propelled me, not my face's will (as my ha-ha, it's job was to just dangle there and look nice. Air and sound come out of it. Wow.
Since my face was now "in my pants" and what is usually in my pants was now my face, I had lots of different thoughts about the nature of my Self and the nature of my brain and intellectual and what I called "sentient" life. Sometimes my Kundalini-Self thinks to my brain, "Keep it in your pants, girlfriend. Now is not the time." My Kundalini sometimes manages to get its way in its push-me-pull-you with my brain.
Since I see that, it no longer has to be a push-me-pull-you thing. One part of me is my north self or right-side-up self, providing the intellect, and the other is my south self or up-side-down self, providing the vitality and sexuality.
Now I can see this way whenever I want, and I am aware of my Kundalini, and what state it is in at any given moment. I learn about people and situations and their alternate messages by replaying situations or reading situations upside down.
I dont even know if that has very many common threads with others' experience, but I know that the sensation as the Kundalini awoke was similar to what others say at least.
I've neverhad opportunity to share that experience before, thank you. It was fun to recount.
Date: February 11, 2011 05:30AM
Se* is two South-selves making out; french kissing.
Date: February 11, 2011 01:52PM
I also think, about that silent partner but no more stuff...
Imagine that you are your future self, way way way ahead in time, and that you have through time advanced so far that you have learned telepathic travel.
Imagine that this future self is like a full blossom of your personhood.
Because this Self is Yourself, it has immense love for you. It wants to help you when you want help because it is you.
Imagine that you are about to get a lotto ticket. If you are first in line, you will win the lotto. If you are second in line, you will not. Let's say that if you win the lotto, that self becomes plagued by creditors and relatives that all want a piece of your money, and you ultimately end up broke and unhappy from winning lotto.
If you do not win the lotto, you will continue to look for a way to make chedda, and eventually create a successful business for yourself.
Here you are about to buy this lotto ticket.
Your evolved future self wants you to be second in line because that Higher Self knows that if you are second in line, you will be happier in the future.
So your Higher Self now needs to get you to be second in line. It would probably just come *appear* to you and TELL you to be second in line. But it can't because that's against the rules of astral travel. A future manifestation of a past probability cannot directly appear or communicate with that past self in an overt way. That's like cheating at cards. this place is a place for learning, and if you are given the answers outright, you learned nothing, so why are you even here. Higher selves are not allowed to just shout out the answers when they know them. Just like an audience can't tell a character in a scary movie not to answer the door. It's just not physically possible, and its just not how things work.
So if you were your Higher Self trying to communicate with your present self, but you werent allowed to speak to yourself directly, how would YOU try to communicate? How would you guide your present self into the lotto line second?
Coincedence is the primary means of direct communication between your Higher Self and your Present Self.
Because the coincedences are YOU trying to talk to YOU, you can learn easily how to interpret them.
For instance, if to you a cactus is a symbol of isolation, then if you have coincedences centering around cacti, they are signs that your higher self is trying to communicate with you about isolation. Its that simple.
And you can even develop a language that you and your higher self can use, like a secret code. You can say, "Pizza means heart-ache" or "fire hydrant means rescue", and as long as you define the parameters you make it way easier for your Higher Self to talk to you, because youre laying down a communication system that you two can use together. Youre meeting your higher self half-way.
Also, deja-vu. If you think youve done something before, then you have. And if you have done something before, and now you are doing it again, then your Higher Self must have come this way as well, previous and future Past Selves of the Higher Self have been at that spot before. Its like being in a yacht race and coming up on the buoy (sp?). That deja vu is a marker in space-time that you leave for yourself to send the message that "Yes, you are on the right path".
And this is me setting up a secret language with MY self.
To me, deja-vu means "Youre headed in the right direction, you are in the right place at the right time right now." It is an affirmation. BECAUSE I interpret deja-vu as an affirmation of being in the divine flow, my higher self can USE deja-vu specifically to send me that message.
I interpret neck pain as a reference to a "pain in the neck" and shoulder pain as a "chip on my shoulder", and these become phrases and cues that your higher self can use to speak with you fluently and eventually become partners in your Reality and it's progress. But I also know that if *someone else* has neck pain, it may not mean "pain in the neck" for them. It is only when it happens to me in my reality that I can take it to mean "pain in the neck".
I also use "Mote in your eye" "deaf to the world" "bite my tongue", and I use left leg for mother and right leg for father.
This makes it so that if I "accidentally" bite my tongue really hard, I immediately become aware of the communication "bite your tongue" and I take it to mean that I might say something I'll regret today, so I need to be aware of that and remember to think before I speak for a while. This steers me around a probablility that may have arisen from me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
So with my higher self, if it thinks "Oh, dont say whens the baby due to your new cooking class instructor, shes not pregnant! In the probablilty where you do that, she gets mad at you and fails you at the end of the quarter!" Then how is my higher self going to tell me that! It cant just knock at my door and say "Hi, I'm your higher self, I have a message for you..."
If I can get myself to accidentally bite my tongue though, I will know right away what I'm trying to say to myself.
The more symbol-language you have, the more fluent and specific your messages from your Self will be.
So this "silent partner" and "..and no more" stuff, it doesnt ring with me. Its doesnt have to be a silent partner, for one. its not your partner, its your Guide, your Papa Smurf, secondly. And thirdly "and no more" is light years away from the reality that your Higher Self is a miracle and is also a valid part of your body and your mind and your Self, and its amazing and incredible and awesome. And it can do a lot more than you can in this realm, in many respects.
That is how I see it. Thank you for allowing me to share. Blessings.
Date: February 11, 2011 02:44PM
And the possession stuff.
Main Rule: You Create Your Own Reality Through Your Beliefs
RULE 2: Expectations Create Beliefs. Beliefs in turn create feelings.
RULE 3: This Reality Is Consentual.
If the demon spirits or whatEVER they are want in, and you do NOT consent, they CANT get in.
You will nullify that rule however if you trump it with "I believe this universe is not always consentual."
This reality is entirely consentual, but more than that, reality is a creation of your beliefs. If you do not believe your reality is consentual, then you will SEE that it indeed is not, even though in the most basic sense, it is.
If through your expectations you come to believe in a reality where there are situations of non-consent, then since reality is consentual, it will consent to your reality of apparent non-consent, haha!
If you appear in a dream to a co-worker, on some level there is a part of you who consented to appear in their dream. They did not *summon* a part of you, against your will. A part of you AGREED to appear in their dream.
The characters playing demons or spirits in your play are not compelled to do this, they CONSENT to be cast as demons in your play, and they might not be demons. They might be entities playing demons in your play to help you see some working mechanism of your spirit that you are trying to get a good look at.
If you expect that demons can posess people against their will, then you will find that they indeed can, even though that is not entirely true.
If you expect that there are such things as demons then you will find that that there indeed are, even though that is likewise not entirely true.
I have so much I could say on the matter, and I dont want to shove more messages at this discussion, so I will leave it at this:
If any of what I have said was enjoyable for you to read, or somehow felt like a topic you'd like to pursue further with responses from me, I invite you to PM me and I will give you my email address and I could go on and on and on till the cows come home on any topic you name that you'd like additional ideas regarding.
Next post for Go-Go-Gadget: War and Peace, unabridged.
Im trying to keep them short and sweet, but it isnt easy for me people.
Love and Wondrous Joyful Exciting Happiness inside a Hard Candy Shell of Peace
Date: February 11, 2011 03:54PM
"If through your expectations you come to believe in a reality where there are situations of non-consent, then since reality is consentual, it will consent to your reality of apparent non-consent, haha! "
Great stuff, and same goes for all of your words Sue, thank you for the perspective as it really is nice for me to read and feel. I like the idea of the Higher Self communicating via coincidence.
I've also heard of Gaia communicating via coincidence.
I wonder if Gaia is a sentient being.
I can see how the use of synchronicity and ambiguity allows for the maintaining of free will for us to see/d meaning as we feel to.
It's like there is but One Will, and we all must share it, so we leave little easter eggs of meaning all over and we all get to grow and evolve autonomously yet all as One.
Indeed, it'd be rather pointless if every answer was just quickly downloaded into me without me having to do any exploration of insight and truth seeking.
There are so many angles to it all. And it's like I'm given answers only to the degree that I have a working framework of knowledge that is capable of receiving the further insight. I wonder tho, if I can ever stop wondering, and if I can ever just be, or maybe it's about balance and finding that mix of childish wonder and pure peaceful being.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2011 03:55PM by jono.
Date: February 11, 2011 06:09PM
And thanks KidRaw for that page on Zyprexa side effects. My main concern about going off the drug is that I don't want to harm myself again.
Hmm, did I mention the part where I stabbed myself in the chest and turned the knife repeatedly and pulled the knife out and put it in again, and spent a week in intensive care and then two weeks locked in a psych hospital. Oh yeah, well, there's that. I didn't really want to die but a voice was threatening me with what I imagined was going to be ultimate torture, being locked in a nothingness box/demon cage kinda thing. I feel gullible for succumbing to that voice. I see the voices as all me now. It's like my mind played a trick on my mind, and lead me down this painful path. At the hospital I met a lot of amazingly caring and kind and loving nurses and docs and other professional that has grown my faith in the good of humanity. At the same time I think the psych doctors have not been spiritually well equipped and versed to address my condition.
I had an interesting walk last Christmas night, it felt like an initiation walk, where I was reading signs and graffiti and observing people, and seeing hidden meaning within everything. The night before I stabbed myself felt like another initiation walk, where I was seeing all kinds of weird stuff, including walking down a Vine Street (divine... all is a vine...) and passing a house with a life-size jesus-on-the-cross statue and a God statue. Plus I was stopped by some river and a guy on a bike stopped and spoke to me in a language that I did not understand... the guy was a little spooky but I pondered to myself that he may have just blurted to me the most beautiful poetry ever created. There is so much more to it all, I could write a book, and maybe will one day. Analogies and metaphors and synchronicities and ambiguous meaning and voices and weird happenings and my mind was spinning so fast at one point I wondered if my brain was broken and if it would ever stop thinking. I was fearful of falling asleep and dreaming for a bit because I thought I might fall into another reality and be unable to return to earth.
This ride has been really rough and I wonder if it's part of a shamanic initiation or if it's kundalini alone. This page mentions stuff about shamanic initiation being really intense, even more so than just kundalini:
Date: February 11, 2011 06:16PM
I can imagine the voices may stem from a variety of sources. Some being purely my imagination, some being disincarnate spiritis whatever those are, if that's possible I don't even know. Also, I can imagine advanced beings with invisibility technology may be whispering in our ears sometimes, guiding humanity as we evolve. Also government tweaking and experimenting with people, injecting voices into people's heads. I've learned to feed words into the voices as to feel and sense if the voice is me or seemingly an outside entity. There is such advanced technology relating to all this that it becomes important to be able to detect whether your thoughts are really your own.
Date: February 11, 2011 06:33PM
Shortly after Christmas is when this clip was found while I traversed the internet:
[www.newgrounds.com] (caution, may induce weird experiences if watched)
Trippy imagery for sure in that clip, mobius strip, spirals, waves, and beautiful music, and angry entities, and critters popping in and out.
I was noticing bugs in my kundalini experience, and seeing all kinds of meaning and metaphor and analogy in observing them as they moved and manifested.
I've imagined myself as a "knight of the grail", whatever that means. What is the grail. I see the grail is truth and heart, and yeah I guess that's vague but oh well.
"The truth shall set us free"... I feel kinda exposed sharing all this, yet also feel it's good to explore it and have a good look at what I've been going through, and it's nice to know that other people have had similar experiences.
Date: February 11, 2011 07:26PM
It's like the divine is everywhere now.
I see the environment working and weaving with me and it feels supportive and loving and happy to help.
They say "God helps those who help themselves"... I feel this
Posted by: Tamukha ()
Date: February 12, 2011 07:48AM
What if all the voices are just you?
What is the strategy then?
A few days ago, I was horribly ill with something, including a fever, for about a day and a half. Early into the illness, lying in bed in that protracted pre-sleep one experiences only when feverish, I started to have a series of very quickly metamorphosing ideas and silent but avid conversations, and witnessed many unrelated vignettes depicting mundane activities of specific people from around the globe. These were spontaneous and genuine; not a recollection of something from a magazine or book. I conversed with many different people, living and dead, known to me and unknown. It all went in flashes, like a very quick montage. This occurred several times over several hours in waves. At first I thought, this is something from without communicating with me--where is this coming from? Is this the Ethers? Have I become some sort of transistor? And then, I had a moment of razor sharp lucidity when I thought, "No, this is me, the fever is loosening my subconscious and unconscious and this is me. I need to be able to do this all the time."
Date: February 12, 2011 10:50AM
Tamukha, I've been considering that all the voices are just me.
In fact I was repeating to myself last night "it's all me" "it's all me".
The kundalini energy is powerful. I was lying in bed last night. I thrusted my pelvis three times,and the the kundalini energy responded with three abdomen contractions. When I let the kundalini energy play in my body like that, it can feel as if there is another being present inside me. And thinking that there is someone else inside of me can be a bit disconcerting to say the least.
This is all just very weird.
I've been imagining that our matrix world exists inside another matrix world (and our universe may contain child universes). So it may be all existence is a fractal web of tethered virtual worlds. I don't want to be played and inhabited like an avatar,and I've wondered if spiritual enlightenment is merely a means of coming to know the truth of the nature of existence being a fractal web of virtual worlds... but maybe none of this is the case, maybe I'm way off base. In any case, I hope I don't get stuck in a body that becomes controlled by another being or beings, but maybe this has always been the case for all humans since birth. Maybe the nature of life is souls within souls within souls, I don't know.
Date: February 12, 2011 10:54AM
I've also considered that there are no such things as souls.
Maybe my body is all that I am, and maybe physical death is the ultimate end of my existence.
I feel like I've kinda died already in this lifetime, like "i nothing everything", and I've removed or greatly reduced fear of death.
Thus, a way for survival of the species maybe be a flow of sexual impulse infused into beings who no longer feel compelled to sex and other activities.
Part of me feels not compelled or caring about anything. Yet part of me seeks to stand tall in deep caring for everything.
Date: February 12, 2011 11:11AM
I found a page where someone shares their kundalini experience and says that kundalini is an evil parasite spirit.
Here is the story copy and pasted here:
The Kundalini force is evil, it first appears as an expanding force filled with light and universal power.
It is not! I had my own Kundalini experience after years of Transcendental Meditation. My first experience with Kundalini was filled with awe and wonder.
Energy climbing up and down my spine. Each time the amount of energy doubled. This went on for 2 hours till I was sure my flesh and bones would explode for lack of being able to contain all this energy. My abdomen became severely distended because this energy pulsed and grew till it became a huge glowing ball of fire inside of me. I had no idea how it started, and no earthly idea how to make it stop. Whatever was happening was out of my control.
As powerful as the first experience and subsequent experiences were, the funny thing is it never hurt.
Terrifying, exhilarating, stupefying, these adjectives best describe my unwanted, Kundalini experiences.
Hours, sometimes days after these sudden explosions of energy in my abdomen I would try and measure if I had gained anything positive from the Kundalini experiences.
The answer, after you wipe away the amazing roller coaster ride of spectacular energy, the uncontrollable explosions of energy inside your abdomen and head, the EGO expanding thought of I am so enlightened that the Kundalini force choose to manifest through me!
Once you get past the smoke and mirrors then what are you left with? What is the truth?
I will tell you my story...
Kundalini Your Own personal nightmare.
Tonight scared the HELL out of me. I was trying to catch a few ZZZ's before having to go into work. I was tired and feel like I am coming down with a sore throat.
I began to nod off when suddenly the Kundalini tried to seize control of my body. Without any warning, while I was half asleep, my entire abdomen violently swelled up with Kundalini energy.
My abdomen instantly became bloated, distended, and painfully filled with serpentine energy. The painful feeling was as if I had swallowed a beach ball size ball of energy. Then, out of nowhere, I began to have full body contractions.
I began to have contractions just like a woman giving birth. I would feel a whole body contraction come over me and I would hold my breath and push with my abdominal muscles. The thing is I wasn't pushing down, I was pushing OUT!!! This undulating energy was trying to FORCE it's way out THROUGH my abdomen.
This excruciating episode went on for over 20 minutes. IT was so overwhelming, so powerful, I fought against the Kundalini with all my will, but at the end when I was losing I thought for sure ANY moment my abdomen would rip open and 'SOMETHING' would pop out.
This is not the first time the Kundalini had made itself manifest. There were previous episodes where the energy built up to such a degree that I thought I would explode. No one can imagine the horror of an uncontrolled energy spinning out of control inside of your abdomen.
Each time the Kundalini has gotten stronger and each episode has left me with the most horrible feeling that in order for this 'THING', this Kundalini FORCE to come out of me it will have to kill me first.
This last episode the pain from the building Kundalini energy became so unbearable that for a moment I thought I might take a knife and open my abdomen just to get this Energy, this Kundalini out of me.
Did you get that? I am very sane person who at that moment was so overwhelmed that I was contemplating eviscerating myself just to get this Kundalini out of me. That is how CRAZY and scary, and overwhelmingly painful Kundalini can become.
This Kundalini Force is a Diabolical Spiritual entity which is EVIL!
Kundalini may take you on a tour of the universe, it may give you powers, it may bathe you in bliss and mind blowing experiences.
I know, I experienced all that and more... but remember the phrase...
"The devil can appear as an Angel of Light..."
I tell you this....If you have allowed this Evil Spirit into your body, mind, life, then....
You must while there is still time, you MUST renounce this Serpent, for that is what Kundalini is, it is a Demonic Serpent looking for a home and a host. Kundalini has been described by all as being a coiled serpent at the base of your spine. That says it all right there. A coiled Serpent, a demon, a spiritual parasite.
Kundalini will appease your EGO and desires for a while, but eventually it will turn on you. Go online and read all of the Kundalini horror stories. These are the ones who survived, there are hundreds, maybe thousands who became completely possessed, or were left burned out husks of a human-being. Then of course there were those who simply dropped dead.
What I am about to say will not only save your life but it will save your eternal Soul. You personally do not have the power to stop this entity now that you have said yes to it. Now, the Kundalini entity has authority to invade you and begin to colonize your body, mind, and soul.
What saved me from certain death?
With tears in my eyes, I have begged ALMIGHTY GOD PLEASE have mercy upon me. Because, on my own, I was like an ant before a Hurricane, this Kundalini demon was very powerful and viciously cunning.
Unable to expel this Kundalini demon on my own, the LORD JESUS CHRIST, by HIS Most Divine Mercy guided me to a prayer service where there just so happen to be a very Spiritually gifted, HOLY SPIRIT filled, Exorcist.
When I got within ten feet of this Exorcist the Kundalini demon began to shake violently inside of me. My entire body was vibrating with energy as the Kundalini sought someway to either hide or escape from the power of this Exorcist.
The Kundalini demon was screaming inside of my head to get out of that place, to run down the street and never look back. That Kundalini demon was nothing to do with the Exorcist, nor did it wish to be anywhere near the physical presence of the Exorcist. For the first time, I could feel the Kundalini demon was afraid, just like I had been all those times it had sought to seize control of my body and mind.
When the Exorcist and I came face to face, without so much as exchanging a hand shake the Exorcist took one look at me and knew something was not right.
The Exorcist began to pray over me commanding the demon in the name of the most High Son of ALMIGHTY GOD, JESUS CHRIST to depart from me immediately.
I won't go into the whole Spiritual battle because it would take to long, but I will say that when the Kundalini demon was finally expelled I saw in the Spirit what that demon actually looks like and let me tell you it is not a being of light.
Listen to me, Stay away from Yoga, and most certainly Kundalini!!! I can not say it enough that if you play around with Kundalini you are in great danger. I know from personal experience! You can not comprehend the magnitude of evil you have stumbled into.
Cry out to the Son of ALMIGHTY GOD JESUS CHRIST to set you free while there is still time.
JESUS CHRIST is the only one who can and will save you!
JESUS CHRIST has total dominion over heaven and Earth. Cry out to JESUS and HE will deliver you from this trap the Kundalini demon has ensnared you in.
JESUS CHRIST died on the Cross so that you do NOT have to be the plaything of demons.
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