ok, well i work in a clothing store, and of course deal with customers all day long. however i've always been the kind of person who has always been sensitive of the feelings of others and when i go places i have never been rude. so when customers are rude to me it really gets to me. a lot. i guess i am just really sensitive or something but like, what i don't understand, why are people like this? do they think if they take out their frustration with whatever is wrong with the store (company policies, not having their size in something) that i am going to wave a magical wand and grant their wish, or that i really have any power or control in changing the situation? i just really don't understand what the need to be rude is. i started crying today at work because i was so frustrated even though i do not give customers attitude back because i value my job.

is there something so be said about people like this? are they just not very happy people?

i guess i'm just down.

applebaby Wrote:
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>
> is there something so be said about people like
> this? are they just not very happy people?

i can say a few things about people like that but i`ll bite my tongue LOL. they re unhappy for whatever reason. some are running late because of their own mismanagement of time,some are fighting with their kids or spouses, some are mad at traffic, some feel unjustified, some are just easily angered, some feel that what they bought is very important and how dare something be wrong with it, some have to return it because they can`t afford it and bought it because they are shopaholics...the reasons are endless. you just have to let it roll off of you. the only reason you have any reason to be down is if you are the true cause of their discomfort which in most cases is not true. take a deep breath and know it`s them and not you. you react so deeply because no matter how your day is going you`d never treat anyone that way and you just expect others to be the same. it doesn`t work that way unfortunately. i`ve worked with people for over 25 years and i`ve learned...be who you are, treat others in the way that makes you feel genuinely warm and good about yourself, you are NOT responsible or accountable for other peoples misery unless you caused it and don`t let it darken you.
patty

I hear you. Just a suggestion: You need to stay FOCUSED. Why are YOU there? The people around you are just a reflection of you......what's going on in your head. I am at my job to help people......and that definitely DOES NOT mean.....just help the people that are nice to me! Ha! ha!

-Of course, boundaries need to be set....realistically....to make the world work. So you don't let mean and destructive people walk all over you....or ruin your business. But luckily these people are the VERY SLIM minority. And the truly destructive and rude are easily escorted out! ha! ha!.....but I assume it's not those types you are talking about. You are probably just talking about your typical petty type! LOL.

-In any event.....you don't/shouldn't take the pleasure from your job by whether or not you help everyone.......or the feedback that customers give. If you stay focused on YOUR level of niceness....and professionalism.......then you will ALWAYS sleep good at night! (Lord knows I do! Ha! ha!).

-What do you think?

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

Maybe you're the kind of person who's afraid of having negative thoughts and other people sense this and dump on you cuz you won't express any back at them. (this is true for someone I know). Maybe you could allow yourself a full range of feeling without judging yourself. Or maybe not....

apple ...sadly there are people out there that actually use this tactic to get what they want .. for free or discounts or deals ...they will make a fuss especially around other customers and hope that you will placate them before anyone notices

seen it all the time in the hotel industry and same in the retail industry. best thing to do is try to determine if their beef is valid and if it is and you can help them then do it .... but if / and if they are being unreasonable give them the managers number and tell them you are not at a level to assist them and sorry you understand their frustration but you arent capable of handling the situation

this does 2 things .. it tells them theyre important enough to talk to someone over your head and secondly difuses them because youve informed them you are unable to help them

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

perfect jodi

thanx lol ...

btw i wasnt implying you arent capable ...this is just a managerial tactic that doesnt put any one person on the spot

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

I had an experience yesterday while I was working with a person who was incredibly rude to me while I was trying to introduce myself to a new street performer, talking to her about the street performing ordinance and permit program. This guy was sitting there, and he started making snarky comments like 'Oh great, the politburo is here," and telling me he was 'interviewing' the girl for the local newspaper and could I please leave. (I later found out he wasn't a reporter at all, and he was probably just hitting on her.) I kept focused and was polite, but as I was leaving I looked him in the eye and I said, matter of factly, "But you don't have to be rude about it." After he left I resumed my conversation with the street performer and we ended up really bonding over our shared love of creating visual art.

With people who are really rude or outrageous with me, if they're acting totally crazy I just leave the scene. This guy probably had mental issues, so he was borderline, but my instinct was to treat him with respect and back off for a few moments, but I also let him know that he had crossed a boundary with me. That way we both keep our dignity intact, and I didn't go away agitated or mad.

When I was younger I used to get REALLY wounded by things strangers or people in the workplace would say to me (probably related to family dynamic baggage, as I was the 'black sheep' in my family). Over time I've learned that what others say and do is their problem, not mine, and I've developed a little 'coating' on me to protect me from getting psychically dented by their barbs. :-p It took me many years to become relatively impervious; I was a real late bloomer in this respect. So if I can do it, anyone can.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

cool post kwan

i agree, i think its important to

1) let people know when they have crossed your boundaries and that it is NOT accetable
2) however, i think there is a way to be firm AND polite

if anyone has mastered that art
i'd like to know

it sure ain't me
that has got it all down to a pat

but

oh well...
i do my best

la_veronique Wrote:
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>
> if anyone has mastered that art
> i'd like to know

repeat after me.........
bite me
just kidding of course. can u imagine?
patty

Tonight I saw that guy again (the one who was rude to me yesterday) while I was out working, and he came right over to me and apologized for his behavior and we ended up having not one, but two nice conversations tonight.

One thing that I especially LOVE is when someone I've had a confrontation with becomes a friend; I appreciate them all the more somehow.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

that`s so cool! i love it when that happens too every best friend i`ve had at different times throughout my life began as my worst enemy.
patty

This is an interesting thread. Nice anecdotes, Sharrhan.

I was just thinking yesterday about what Dewey said, and wondering if others experienced that....coming to love a person you had initially found exasperating (and vice versa).


RE: friction - I like the approach of just calling it what it is. Some people then realize they are being rude or arrogant and they alter it right away. So nice when people respect themselves to the extent that they can and want to be GOOD to others, despite slipping up sometimes.

The others are too steeped in ego-needs to care about the other person and there's not much to be done about that.