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Environmental Issues
Posted by: Pistachio ()
Date: October 14, 2007 06:45PM

This email was forwarded to me. Given that there are a few topic on the environment currently on the forum, I figured one more wouldn't hurt. Enjoy...



This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the

Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of

Pennsylvania.



The guy's response is hilarious, but make sure you read the State's

letter, here, first before you get to the response letter.


The Dam

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming
County



Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental

Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the

above referenced parcel of property.


You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor

who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and

maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of

Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type

of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no

permits have been issued.



Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in

violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural

Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public

Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the

Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.



The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams

partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and

flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature

are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted.



The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all

activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a

free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams

from the stream channel.

All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006.



Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed

so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.



Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized

activity on! the site may result in this case being referred for

elevated enforcement action.



We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this

matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any

questions.



Sincerely,

David L. Price

District Representative and Water Management Division.






Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:


Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County


Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/05 has been handed to me to

respond to.


I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget

Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania.



A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of

constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the

outlet stream of my Spring Pond.


While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project,

I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful

use of natures building materials "debris."



I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate

their dam project any time and/or any place you choose.



I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match

their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity,

their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work

ethic.



As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they

must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of

dam activity.



My first dam question to you is:



(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers.

(2) Or do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform

to said dam request?



If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers,

through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies

of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been

issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of

Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and

Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994,

being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled

Laws, annotated.



I have several concerns.

My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to legal

representation?


The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable

to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide

them with a dam lawyer.



The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams

failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that

this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to

protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers

alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you

want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please

contact the beavers - but if you are going to arrest them, they

obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being

unable to read English.



In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to

build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is

green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I

do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.


If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental

Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources

(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).



So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be

referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait

until 1/31/2006?



The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there

will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.



In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real

environmental quality, health, problem in the area.

It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods.

I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears

and leave the beavers alone.



If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step!

The bears are not careful where they dump!




Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to

contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this

response to your dam office.


THANK YOU.


RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Environmental Issues
Posted by: fresh ()
Date: October 14, 2007 07:20PM

that was a great letter. love the bears part.


but then i found this

[www.snopes.com]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/14/2007 07:21PM by fresh.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Environmental Issues
Posted by: Jose ()
Date: October 14, 2007 07:21PM

Haha, that was great smiling smiley

Cheers,
J


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