I'm a 33 yr old married mother of 2 boys who feels like she's 63. I suffer from daily headaches and weekly migraines as well as high blood pressure, borderline high blood sugar and early menopause due to a hysterectomy at 29. I'm 5'4" and weigh 210.

I saved the weight for last because while that in itself is enough to make this an important change for me, it is not the reason I'm traveling down this road. My ultimate goal is to feel like me again. I want to be healthy. I'm tired of missing out on games with my children and having my husband look at me with that look that makes me feel 3 inches tall everytime I'm in pain.

I ran across a link to information on the raw/live food lifestyle in a migraine forum and started reading everything I can get my hands on.

My doctor even brought up at my appointment yesterday that I may need to try a new approach to my migraine therapy with my diet without me mentioning my interest in the raw way of eating so I'm taking that as a sign that I'm moving in the right direction.

My husband of course has no opinion on the matter, not that he shares anyway, because he's seen my fail at so many different things.

I hope I can find here the support I'll need and the information I craving to help me make this change in myself for my overall health and mental well being.

Tobie (westiemom)

hey Tobie first off *BIG HUG* and welcome to the forums here

feel free to spill yer guts about whatevres on your yer mind ..this your journal your personal space and we are all here to suport you

without knowing your full situation it sounds like you and your husband could benefit to some good heart to heart talking too .. with or without a counsellor ..it sounds a bit like you feel he doesnt understand your pains or fears .. and if you are going to embark on a life changing nutritional lifestyle plan (please notice i didn't say the DIEt word hehe) then he needs to be on board and supportive !

things like this like anythign in life are hard enough to do without running into someone elses brick wall

talk to you soon !!

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Thank you Jodi for the warm welcome.

My husband and I have had many talks about the issues I face with my health and he does support me, in his own way. He just keeps his feelings to himself. It takes a mountain being moved for him to open up so I've learned to read his little signals. Thank you for your concern on that front and I will definitely be watching out for those signals.

At this point I know I'll be undergoing this change on my own, with only the assistance of my youngest son (10) eating along with me. He's not afraid of trying anything new and loves to be in the kitchen. After I've got some recipes under my belt and have been at it a while I'll be able to slowly and quietly get my husband and oldest son to branch out to at least taste what I'm eating.

I've only been doing this for a few days because I wanted to read all that I could and get a firm understanding of what was to come before I attempted something like a DIEt (hehe) rather than a true lifestyle change.

Because of this I hope you guys will bear with me and be understanding if I ask any silly questions or seem oblivious to the obvious.

haha bring on all the silly questions you can think of im pretty sure thres nothing down her in diarys we havent talked about from ... BM (bowel movements) to disorderly eating

try and read a few of davidzanemasons posts he rreally has some good advice too

dont worry this week or so about changing it all it once .. add healthy things and habits to your diet and things will go from there

I appreciate it and I will definitely check it out.

On my way now............

Today is my fourth day on this journey and the hardest yet. I'm feeling very hungry but I know it is my own fault for not packing enough food for work.

Not only am I trying to make the break from cooked food but caffeine as well. That soda addiction is proving to be rather difficult but I know I can make it through once the withdrawal headaches subside. My problem is knowing whether or not the headache is one of my usual headaches or is it truly a withdrawal headache. Either way it's miserable, but I know I'll feel so much better when I come out the other side of this.

Since I'm only at the beginning stages I'm still doing partially cooked foods as well and have decided to have that meal for dinner since I've got to cook for my family anyway. I'll just have mostly raw, with a taste of the cooked I think to see how that works out for me.

I'm struggling, but I'm holding on for dear life.

Tobie (westiemom)

It's day six and I'm feeling pretty proud of myself.

I had some errands to run today and a doctor's appointment for a sore hip (bursitis - guess I'm getting old - perfect reason to stick with this).

I didn't have breakfast before I left the house and by the time I got out of the doctor's office I was SOOO hungry. Normally with a situation like that, adding that I was feeling bad because of the hip, I would have stopped at a fast food restaurant and picked up something to eat, or I would have picked up some junk at the grocery store and ate it in my car.

Instead, I went to Krogers, made a straightline to the produce department and filled my buggy with organic fruits & vegetables. I came straight home and made myself a wonderful fruit smoothie of orange juice, bananas, peaches, strawberries, apple & coconut milk. YUMMY!!!

For dinner I think I'll have an Italian Stuffed Avocado.

Oh, and I saw in the paper that there will be a farmer's market open in the town nearby next Saturday. I know where I'm going next weekend...........

One more thing - at the doctor's office my blood pressure was normal! It hasn't been normal in months!!! Whoo hoo!!!!! What more inspiration does a person need?!

Tobie

way to go on your first weeks successes you should look on freecycle or some cheap place and find yourself a couple of small (6pack size) cooler lunch box type things ... i keep a hard plastic one for the car an a softer insulatted one if im away from the car

they really keep things nice when yer finding yourself running around your day to day stuff ...and so easy to reach in an grab a plum or handfull of grapes or what have you

and a nice thermos for some smoothies to can be your reward for doing such a good job !

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Thanks for the tip. I'll definitely do that!

Today was not such a good day, but I didn't do too bad. I woke up with a horrible migraine and that persisting pain in my hip.

I did have 1/2 a cup of coffee (I'm still trying to kick the caffiene habit) and made myself a smoothie of banana, strawberries, papaya, oj and a small drizzle of honey. I didn't get much of it down because my head was hurting pretty bad, but I saved it and will have it later for desert I think.

After my head started feeling better I had a wonderful salad of romaine, green beans, artichoke, sprouts, raisins, cucumbers and almonds. This was the best salad I've had in quite a while.

For dinner I'd planned on having a coconut-avocado soup I found on goneraw.com, but I just could't get it creamy enough. I decided to put it on the side and I'll try fixing it tomorrow for lunch.

I did let myself down a bit and had a slice of pizza with my family for dinner but I'm not going to harp on it. I know I'm still at the beginning and I won't put myself down for one little cooked meal.

Oh, and I also made a wonderful fruit salad with apples, peaches, red pear, oranges and a tiny drizzle of agave nectar.

This stuff is really yummy!!! I think once I can get the nack of preparing some of the recipes I've found I'll do much better.

I'm happy about the blood pressure being normal again, but I'm a little disappointed that I haven't lost any weight yet. I just have to remind myself that the weight isn't the reason I'm doing this - my health is and the weight will come off in time.

Thanks for listening guys - my husband listens but he just doesn't understand it and it helps to have that.

Tobie

Oh one more thing...........I'm so excited!!!

My husband bought me a hand held blender and high quality fancy knives on Ebay and they should be here on Monday! So, he may not understand but he is supporting me and helping me.

I can't wait to put them to use!!! All I need now is a good juicer and I'll be ready to roll.

Tobie

Today was a better day food wise. With the exception of tasting my family's supper for needed spices I maintained a raw diet all day.

I tried to fix up the coco-avo soup I made the night before but I still didn't like it. It went in the trash sadly and I ate a nice salad instead.

I am finding that I'm not as hungry during the day as I was in the beginning so that's a nice surprise. The only thing that worries me is whether or not I'm getting enough to eat, especially since I'm not losing any weight.

Today also was the first day I've gone through the entire day without a single pain in my head. It's an amazing feeling that I've definitely missed. I don't know what to do with myself feeling well. It's been literally years since I've felt this feeling and I sure hope it lasts.

hey next time mom .. dont trash the stuff .. use it on your face an body as a mask/scrub

oh and its really good for your hair hehe...

You know, I never thought of that! I'll have to try it without cooking anything.

Today wasn't as good a day, but I definitely learned something important.

I ate half a honeydew melon for breakfast this morning and then left to take my kids to the eye doctor. I didn't bother to take anything with me because I had planned to drop them at school after and head straight home for a nice salad before running the rest of my errands.

Well, the appointment ran A LOT longer than planned and the kids and I were all sooo hungry when we left. I stopped at Sonic for the kids and got myself a grilled chicken salad wrap (I know, sorry ) and it was absolutely gross.

I used to eat these all the time without a second thought. It's amazing how quickly our bodies adjust and let us know when something just isn't right for us. Well, needless to say I ate just enough to keep my hunger pangs at bay and threw the rest away.

I ran my errands but I felt sluggish and just overall miserable. As soon as I got home I ate a small salad and felt so much better.

I definitely know this is the right choice for me and the best way to live life. I feel so much better about my choice even if I have to make multiple meals for the time being, or forever if my family doesn't come around to this new lifestyle.

just a bump in the road an like you said you learned from it

dont apologize about food, its self defeating and only makes you feel bad .. what you eat doesnt affect anybody here and in the diary section were not here to judge you , so pat yourself on the back for making it thru another hectic day of life and learning how to cope with things tomorrow

hope yer having a good day westiemom

about your family .. the only thing you can hope for as that by being a shining example of good health , they will come around and see what you are doing and experience this for themselves

Yes, I am having a good day - thanks for asking.

That is what I'm hoping for with my family. In fact, I haven't even told anyone in my family other than my husband and kids what I'm doing and why. It helps that we live 3 hours away from any of them so it's easy to keep it secret.

It's just that I believe that if they don't see me for a while, when they do and they comment on how much better I seem and how I'm glowing with healthier skin then I can proudly tell them why.

Odd I know, but I'm sooo looking forward to that day.

As for food today I did cheat a little and have a taste of peanutbutter & chocolate pie I made for my family last night. It too was yucky - just like the chicken wrap I had yesterday. I just think it's amazing how quickly the body accepts what's good for it and what's not.

I had a wonderful fruit muesli for breakfast this morning with a little mango and banana in it and I even had some of the leftovers for a snack this afternoon. It was so yummy! I think I could eat that all day everyday and not get tired of it.

I know I should have some nice greens for dinner tonight, but the rest of the muesli is calling my name.

BTW - my hand mixer came in yesterday. Haven't used it yet but I think I'll use it tomorrow morning to make a smoothie. I'm expecting my knives this week too - I'm so excited!!!

I love to "cook" when I have all these new gadgets.

Horrible migraine day for me - but on the bright side it's the first one I've had this week which is a huge step in the right direction. Normally I'd have at least 3 or 4 by this point in the week. Something is definitely right with the changes I'm making.

I did get off track yesterday and have a cooked vegetarian meal for lunch, but it wasn't all my fault. I had agreed to have lunch with some coworkers at a place I knew I could eat raw. But, on the way there they announced we were going to another restaurant. Not much I could do since I was riding along. I ended up having a bean burrito at a local Mexican restaurant.

I made up for it last night though with a wonderful salad.

I used my handy mixer yesterday morning and this morning for smoothies and it works great. I added a little romaine to my smoothie yesterday morning and it was definitely different. Not bad, just different. Up till then I wasn't putting any greens in my smoothie, just fruit and perhaps some nuts. This morning I was running late so it was just a mix of berries.

I'm still feeling the migraine, but it's not as bad as earlier so I think I'll take it easy this evening and hopefully it'll be gone by morning.

On another note - while I haven't lost any weight according to my scale my jeans feel looser today and I think my shirt looks better than the last time I wore it so we're moving in the right direction.

I've had trouble loosing weight since my hysterectomy in 2005. It just doesn't want to budge no matter what I do, so I'm hoping this is the thing that will kick start it for me.

Tobie

Alright, time to fess up. I haven't been raw the last two days. In fact you could say I've fallen off the raw wagon.

I don't know if it's the fact that I haven't been eating right or not but I feel like I have the flu. Every bone in my body seems to ache. My ribs, my neck, my shoulders and yes - my head again.

If it is because of my poor diet the last couple of days, all I can say is I'm converted! I'm a changed person and am repenting of my cooked ways!

From here on out - it's all raw for me!

Tobie

Oh yeah, and my face is starting to breakout again. Bummer

It had finally started to clear. I look like I'm 13 again and not in a good way. In fact it's even worse because I never had bad skin as an adolescent.

Okay, so I said I had changed my ways, but I didn't and I'm definitely paying for it. I've been completely miserable the last several days and the head pain is back with a vengeance.

I don't know why the miserable weekend wasn't enough to change me. I thought for sure it had, but I gave in to peer pressure and ate with my friends yesterday.

Then, afterward I felt so bad they took one look at me and said they'd never pressure me into anything again because they could tell a difference in me from the last couple of weeks of "eating healthy" (they didn't know I was eating raw, just that I was trying to eat healthier) to a weekend and a couple of days of "unhealthy".

I don't think it was enough to get them to switch over to raw, but it was enough that they understand where I'm coming from and are going to support me completely.

Again, I am saying I'm completely converted and will no longer stray.

Tobie

I'm so proud of myself! I'm finally starting to feel the effects of my raw eating. What's odd is I never thought I'd be so happy about my bowel movements.

The thing is I suffer horribly from IBS with constipation. I very rarely go to the bathroom and when I do it's extremely painful. Of course it's taken about a month for me to feel better but hey - it's worth it. I finally feel like my system is working the way it should.

I did eat a small cooked meal yesterday and I could definitely tell a difference. I've been eating 1 cooked meal a day, but yesterday's meal really did me in. I had a full night's sleep the night before, but after eating that meal I just couldn't get motivated to do anything. My body was miserable. It was probably the wrong choice of food, but it wasn't that different from my usual cooked meal. I don't know, but it was enough to get my attention.

I'm also proud of myself because I'm sitting here, in an excellent hotel in the middle of New Orleans on a business trip and I've brought with me a small cooler full of fresh fruits and veggies. I mean, New Orleans is known for its culinary masterpieces and I'm overcoming all my SAD eating cravings and I'm doing what is best for me and my body and I feel great about it!!

HOORAY!!!!

I'm back home today and my juicer came in while I was gone. I'm so excited and I can't wait to use it tonight. I wanted to use it this morning but the late drive in had me dragging butt.

Another thing I've noticed about my 1 cooked meal, especially while in New Orleans, is that my daily headaches don't usually hit until I eat that cooked meal. Sometimes it's a terrible migraine (like Tuesday) and some days it's just a minor irritation.

Either way, I feel fine all day until I have that cooked meal, whether it be for lunch or dinner. I don't know if it's the act of chewing (I have TMJ too) or the cooked foods themselves.

I guess that's a sign that I'll have to get rid of that 1 cooked meal. Even though it makes sense to me that it needs to go, it's hard to get rid of. Up to this point when I'd feel bad after my cooked meal I didn't pay attention. Then the one over the weekend I just chalked up to a bad choice for that cooked meal. Now the entire option of cooked has me questioning.

Why is it so hard for us (me particularly) to give up something I know isn't good for me? I mean I have the painful proof everyday, but yet I cling to it somehow.

hey Westie sounds like yer experiencing lots of good an bad things which in itself is a good thing .. you are learning more an more about yourself everyday!

just make less an less an less an less of the cooked foods that seem to bother you until one day *blip* they will be gone

clinging to those things that hurt us is clinging to what is familiar ...it takes alot of guts to step out of that familiarty and tread away from it leaving it behind

you'll get there .. no worries !!

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Hi WestieMom, Just read through this and I think you're doing great! You are learning a lot and just plain making great effort and good observations on the automatic bio-feedback! You inspire me. I've been up and down a lot lately, but reading your journal inspires me to persevere (again) and rediscover for myself how much better I feel when I eat real live fresh produce exclusively. It is indeed a journey. Some take to it right away and don't look back and others have their own individual struggles, but it is all part of the individual's journey and learning experience.

Keep up the good work. Continue. This is the best thing you can do for yourself and in time you will see such improvement in these things that are assailing you now such as the headaches and TMJ and bursitis/arthritis whatever it is. My various ailments and arthritis gets turned on and off depending on whether I am eating old standard junk or eating raw.

Do you have a Westie?

Bon Appetit!

Thanks for the pep talk Elakti! I really needed that today.

It really helps to know that I'm not alone and that others are going through the same struggles as I am. I've gotten so much inspiration from people on this board. I definitely couldn't do this without you guys because I've got noone in my "real" life that is going through the same struggles and understands. Everyone around me thinks I'm going a little too far (except my husband) and they just don't get it. I'm so happy and comforted that you do.

I've been having these medical problems for so long I don't know what I'll do when my body recovers from all the years of abuse and sickness and I'm feeling healthy. For me normal is feeling bad and I'm sure I'll be jumping for joy just for the fun of not feeling the aches when I jump.

Oh, and yes - I do have a Westie. He's my third child and sometimes my favorite. LOL!! His name is Titan, almost 3 yrs old and he's spoiled rotten, just like my human kids.

Tobie

Okay, so I stepped on the scale last night for the first time in almost a month. I'm happy, but slightly disappointed to report a 3 lb loss. I know it isn't much (that's the disappointing part) but for a person who hasn't lost weight, only gained in the last year no matter how hard I tried, 3 lbs is a huge step (that's the happy part).

This loss comes at the same time I'm seeing other changes in my body due to raw eating. As I said in a previous entry I'm finally able to go to the bathroom, I've figured out a major trigger point in my migraines & head pain. My body is finally responding and that makes me happy. Of course I had wished it would happen earlier, but good things come to those who wait, right......

Oh well, I've got to get back to work. But while I'm thinking about it I think for dinner I think I'll make myself some of Leslie's Lucious Juice - YUM!!

Hi, congrats on your victory. I'm very proud of you. Don't expect people to understand, you and your husband do and that's all that matters. Look how great you feel and all of the progress you have made towards your health. congrats! Your very inspiring.

Lizard

Okay, so last week wasn't the best week for me but I'm picking myself up, dusting myself off and pushing forward.

Even though I've had some slips this past week I'm down a total of 6 lbs - WHOOPEE!!

As for food I'm finding that I'm craving only fruits. The idea of vegetables just doesn't appeal to me at all. With that being said I think I'm going to just go with that for a while. Sadly with it being fall there aren't many options besides apples and oranges in my area, Nothing wrong with those, just not in the mood for them. More in the mood for watermelon and things of that nature.

Oh well, maybe some juicing and smoothies will curb my cravings for the cooler, juicier fruits - if I can come up with the right combinations that is.

Tobie