I realized tonight I need to stop spending so much time online, and I'm due for a complete revamping of my life. I also realized why I don't paint or play music. I was just finishing up 2 new paintings tonight at the art table-- I was really happy with them-- and then my husband called me over to the computer to read what was on the screen, because his JAWS screen reader wasn't working. I lost my concentration and my temper, we had a fight, and I ripped up my paintings and threw them out. Then he threatened to go out and 'disappear' himself. We both have abandonment issues pretty bad.

Okay, I'm going to be offline for a few days or weeks and try to get my life sorted out.

Love ya guys.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

aww sharrhan sorry to hear it ... will be glad to see you when you get back

take it easy !

good luck

Bummer! We'll miss you but totally understand -- your home, best friend, and self are most important. We love you too!

Okay, I'm back ahead of schedule-- I got lonely! ;-p I sure was in a snit that day, and when I get upset like that I have a tendency to really kick MYSELF when I'm down, which is, of course, incredibly counter-productive.

It's 25 degrees here today with a wind chill of near zero, and Jonathan and I are indoors for the duration, not even stepping out to go to the gym or store. I'm still nursing those canker sores, so I'm not eating a lot anyway. Ouch, they're a pain!-- bad enough that I've been taking aspirin, which I hardly ever take. I'm now weaning myself off the aspirin and using tea tree oil and putting a little baking soda solution in my mouth, which is helping, but NOT QUICK ENOUGH!

I feel like I should dry fast for 24 hours, but I just haven't felt like doing it. You know, it's so easy to just keep on doing what you're used to. I sense that right now is not a good time for a juice fast-- even vegetable juice-- and there's little I can eat. I tried a pineapple/mango smoothie this morning, and my mouth wasn't crazy about it. Tonight I'll probably have a very soft mashed potatoes/squash mixture.

I'm not feelin' great yet because of the canker sores, just okay and a bit under the weather. Experience tells me this will pass and I'll be back to 'myself' in 2-3 days. So I'm getting extra sleep (the great healer), cuddling up with my Jonathan teddy bear, and meditating a lot, and maybe tonight I'll start a new painting-- maybe--- but it's okay if I don't.

Right now I'm drinking green chai (chai made with green tea -- Yogi brand, which I love) and it feels really GOOD in my mouth. I read somewhere yesterday that green tea is really good for canker sores. I'm so gratified to have found something new that doesn't hurt when I ingest it.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

hehe Sharrhan glad to see you back !!!

sometimes i find i spend too much time here too and start taking too many things personally

then i gotta breathe .. breathe .. and step awayyyyyy from the glowing box

i hope you an jonathen continue to work on yourselves and happy thoughts always coming your way from me



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2008 09:29PM by Jgunn.

Thanks, Jodi!
Yeah, I find sometimes cabin fever can set in when we're semi-hibernating at the onset of winter; good thing my mate is a teddy bear, not a polar bear!

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

Glad you're back!