it does take its toll

trust me , from someone whos taken one for the team one too many times and had several nervous breakdowns working for the same company trying to uphold some sort of relationship that is not working in the best interest of all concerned

if you are not doing what you love adn loving what you do you will always feel like that some part of you is not whole

i say that with the most loving nudge possible .. think about what it will feel like after many years throwing away your time doing something that doesnt make you happy

when it rains more than its sunny its a good time to move on !

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

I decided to take the day off from work today. I need a "mental health day" from all the sadness that's been going on there lately and also just a physical break from it. I definitely have that summer mentality right now. My vacation is so close- less than 2 months away- but so far at the same time! It's hard to get used to not having a change of pace in the summer since college ended. I always worked full-time in summer since high school, but I usually had a week in between classes ending and work starting so I could relax, plus a family vacation thrown in there somewhere. Now it's the same thing day in & day out, and we don't have holidays off at the shelter either so unless you're on vacation, you're there working year-round. I love what I do, but it's still hard for me, and probably most people, to be in such a routine every day!

Started off the day with 4 bananas w/ raw cacao powder...yummm. I have finished my raw almond butter and will not be buying any more or any raw nuts for a while. I don't believe they're truly raw. I remember in CA the farmer's markets had "truly" raw almonds that hadn't been pasteurized, but aside from that all the bags of nuts at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods were subject to the insane pasteurization laws and I think they were all cooked. Here in VT there is even less variety, so I think I'll just stay away from them. I have some of the trail mix I bought that apparently contains truly raw cashews, which I know are hard to find. After that though I'll just stick with nut-free mixes. I do plan on still having avocadoes for fat, maybe some EVOO, and occasionally a Lara Bar when I want a treat.

I'm going to go do a quick workout, then go to the mountains with my mom & sister for a walk with our dogs and lunch (maybe a salad, maybe I'll just take apples though- I don't know how good the food will be at the restaurant!). I feel great today. My skin looks amazing. I haven't needed to wear make-up and it's only the 6th day of consecutive 100% raw foods. I didn't need to wash my face this morning either. My body LOVES eating this way!

Hi Jodi, I didn't see your post earlier! I guess I was in a hurry! Thanks for your kind words. I do LOVE my job and I am doing what I feel is most important- working towards ending animal suffering- however I honestly don't believe that it will ever end. So it's hard for me to face all the negativity, all the abandoned animals, all the animals whom people have failed, on a daily basis. Most days are more happy than sad- great animals find loving homes and we take in animals in need- but sometimes we have weeks where a lot of animals have to be euthanized for medical or behavioral issues, or we deal with a lot of situations of abuse & neglect that don't end well. It's funny, a lot of people come into the shelter just to look around and make the comment, "Oh this is so sad to see them, I could never work here!" and look at us staff members like something is wrong with us. It hurts me just as much to see homeless animals that have been left without a second thought. But I choose to put myself through the emotional toll of it every day b/c it should be the people who care the most that are there to help the animals and ultimately make the life & death decisions about their futures.

It was really good to have a day where I simply didn't think about it. I don't feel at all guilty about taking the day off, either. Shelter work has a very high burnout rate, and I want to be in the animal welfare world for the rest of my life. I don't want to get too sad or hopeless and give up! So sometimes I do need to take a step back and remember that I have a life outside of the shelter.

OK, so today was GREAT! I feel amazing and energized and mentally sharp. Today was pretty low-fat, I was just craving fruit & greens all day. I went walking w/ my mom, sister & dogs and then we realized it was the first day of our town's farmer's market!!! So we went and picked up some plants for our garden- red leaf lettuce, tomatoes & eggplant- that I'm going to plant on Saturday. My mom said she'd pick up lacinato kale (my favorite) and red pepper plants to add to it. I'm excited to have a garden, I've wanted one ever since I first experimented with raw. I also got some mixed greens that I had in a salad tonight, and man are they good! Fresh is so much better than food that's travelled 2000 miles and sat in the back of the store for 2 days. I got some kale that looks amazing, too. They didn't have any other fruits/veggies yet b/c our growing season is so short, but hopefully soon I can get more produce there!

Food today:
-4 bananas w/ raw cacao powder
*2 mile fast run, upper body weights*
-the usual green smoothie, handful of that berry-cacao-cashew trail mix I got
*1 hour 20 mins. walking*
-banana
-sweet potato "chips" w/ guac- sooo good, I had no idea plain raw sweet potato was this amazing!
-huge salad w/ mixed greens, tomatoes, carrots, red pepper, mushrooms & vinegar; 2 bananas w/ cacao powder
-apple

YUM!

Today was a good day for me, except that I got a minor concussion at work from walking into the top door of a dog kennel! Eeek, that's the 3rd time I've done that in the past month and I'm feeling pretty dizzy and out of it right now! I had a bad concussion last January and seem to be prone to them now.

Food today:

-5 bananas w/ raw cacao powder
-big salad w/ baby romaine, half a red pepper, a big tomato, mushrooms & vinegar. Banana & pear.
-2 bananas, one had raw cacao powder on it
-for dinner I'm going to have a normal-sized (aka not huge) salad w/ different mixed greens, tomatoes, carrots and vinegar, and a green smoothie w/ 2 bananas, mango, strawberries, blueberries & kale
-apple if hungry

I didn't eat any overt fats today- just didn't want any. It's kind of strange for me. I typically crave fats when I get super hungry and my blood sugar crashes, but it's been really stable for the past 2 days. I've been trying to move towards 8-1-1 for a long time so maybe this time it'll actually work, lol.

I'm going to eat dinner and then rest, my head is spinning! No running for me tonight!

I feel really great today. When I'm eating raw I don't get tons of physical energy, it's more mental energy/clarity and inner happiness. I mean I have more energy or motivation to do things, but I just overall feel really peaceful and content. I feel very grateful to be eating this way.

I planted my veggie garden today! Well, fruit and veggie since there's some non-sweet fruit in there. I have 6 red leaf lettuce plants, 4 each of kale plants & romaine lettuce plants, a cucumber plant, an eggplant plant, and 2 tomato plants. It was fun gardening even though I really have no idea what I'm doing. I haven't lived in a place where I could have a garden since high school so it's been a while! There was a big community garden in Boston up the block from my apartment but I never got into it there. Now I feel like I'll be so spoiled with all my produce that I'll miss it when I go back to LA! I don't know of any community gardens or garden-friendly apartments there, at least not in the city.

Anyway, food today:
-2 bananas w/ raw cacao powder in the middle of the night- woke up so hungry!
-2 more bananas w/ raw cacao powder; green smoothie w/ the usual
-3 bananas, apple
-apple, banana or 2 (can't remember), a handful of carrots w/ about 3 T guacamole
-big salad w/ romaine, mixed greens, carrots, red pepper, tomatoes, vinegar. Another 3 bananas w/ raw cacao powder
-another apple

I didn't work out since I'm still feeling the concussion symptoms. I guess work and gardening is enough for today though!

I was hungry today! Another day with very little fat, too- only about 7% including the minimal fat in the bananas/other produce. I think I feel really good eating this way, but I'll give it another couple of days. I have noticed far fewer cooked or heavy food cravings. Bananas are about as heavy as my body wants right now, and I haven't had any cravings for nuts or lara bars which is really weird! But hey, I'll take it ;-)

Yesterday was another 100% raw day, but my internet stopped working so I couldn't get online. Here's what I ate:


-green smoothie w/ 3 bananas, frozen fruit, kale; handful of raw trail mix that had goji berries, goldenberries & mulberries, cacao nibs and a couple pieces of raw cashews
-4 bananas w/ raw cacao powder and my first nectarine of the season!!!
*lifted upper body weights*
-sweet potato "chips" w/ guacamole
-handful of baby carrots; a salad w/ baby romaine, carrots, tomatoes, yellow pepper, mushrooms & vinegar; 2 bananas w/ raw cacao powder
-some more raw trail mix and another 2 bananas!

It was a lot of food for me, not sure if my body needs more to heal this concussion or what, b/c I only lifted weights for 20 mins. yesterday so it was a very low activity day!

I am wondering if 811 works best for my body. I know it's only been 5 days, but I feel like my weight loss has halted. I think I'll just stick to 10-15% calories from fat right now, instead of 5-10% from fat. I'm still not really craving fat but I think maybe eating a little more fat each day works better for my body. I'll see how that goes and then possibly try to do 811 in a few weeks...I definitely want to keep losing weight though b/c I have a vacation at the beach in 7 weeks! I hope to lose 10-15 pounds by then to get down to around 105-110 pounds (I'm 5'3). Last time I was raw for 6 months I got to around 104 and I was very thin but very happy at that weight.

OK...I'm going to try to power walk on the treadmill for an hour and then get my day started!

So I went to the store to buy some Lara Bars, but they didn't have the flavor I love, so I bought watermelon instead <3 I think I need to give 811 more of a chance- it feels like I'm not losing weight b/c I'm a bit bloated from even more fiber from fruit than usual. So I'll give it some time...today was:

-5 bananas throughout the morning, some had a little raw cacao powder, some were plain
*1 hour 10 mins. power walking hills*
-green smoothie w/ 3 bananas, frozen mango/strawberries/blueberries, lots of kale
-about 1/6 or so of a watermelon, yummm
-banana
*power walk for another half hour...still no running due to the concussion*
-dinner was half a sweet potato (raw, sliced) and half a yellow pepper w/ fresh guacamole. Really hit the spot! Plus a banana w/ raw cacao powder.

So that's about 1585 calories and probably about 19 total grams of fat (about 10 g. overt, plus the minimal fat in the bananas & cacao powder). That puts me at 11% fat for the day.

My goals for this week are:
-cacao powder only once a day, for "dessert" after dinner
-no eating after 8 PM

Quick post tonight! I did have some raw cacao powder...I guess a lot of raw fooders don't eat it b/c it makes them feel "high" or something, but I don't feel anything after eating it. I do want to cut down since it's pricey though. Anyway, today was a higher fat day for me. It felt right, I think my body needed a little more fat. I'm sure tomorrow will be back to lower fat.

-green smoothie w/ the usual; 2 more bananas w/ raw cacao powder
-salad w/ mixed greens and a little of shredded carrots, grape tomatoes, red onions, sliced cucs and celery (was a take-out garden salad, very good for take-out but I would have added more of everything!). I put half an avo and some vinegar on it and had a nectarine, apple & banana to make it a meal.
-4 bananas- 2 had raw cacao powder
-salad w/ mixed greens, mushrooms, red pepper, lots of tomatoes, carrots & vinegar; lara bar
=1785 calories, about 18% fat

Exercise was work! Cleaning dog kennels for 4 hours and then being on my feet the rest of the day as usual. I love the weeks I get assigned to the dogs, it's such a good workout!

This is my 10th consecutive day of 100% raw. It's been shockingly easy, I haven't been tempted to eat anything cooked at all. I think eating so many greens has really helped my cravings!

today's food & exercise:
-3 bananas, a lara bar
-huge salad w/ baby romaine, about 1/3 of an avocado, half a red pepper, half a tomato, carrots, mushrooms & vinegar; apple; nectarine; banana.
-2 bananas w/ raw cacao powder
*3 mile run*
-another big salad w/ romaine, baby romaine, mixed greens, carrots, half a red pepper, a tomato, mushrooms & vinegar; 2 bananas w/ raw cacao powder

It was a very active day at work, too. I wish I had a pedometer, I am sure I regularly walk over 5 miles and probably more than 7 on the days I'm taking care of the animals in the afternoon instead of helping customers. I'm going to miss this job when I move :-(

I definitely went through some detox yesterday with the headache, and I had a few pimples on my cheek this morning which is very strange, I almost never get pimples. Today I felt so much better though, even my mom noticed I was in a very positive and energetic mood. I don't mind detoxing, it's better on the days I'm working b/c I don't notice it as much! I remember spending entire weekends sleeping in my early days of raw foodism, but I think my body is significantly cleaner now. At least I hope so!

Hey Meow!

So good to *see* you again. You sound great! I have been eating high raw for the past several weeks, and am considering posting here again. Right now though, I just have a question for you. I noticed in your first post you said that you stopped eating high raw when training for a marathon, and felt like you had to choose between a raw diet and successful running.

I am currently training for an Ironman triathlon and can understand this feeling. In my periods of lesser training, it is much easier to eat raw because I don't need as many calories. Now, though, I am burning a TON of calories. I know that there are athletes (Brendan Brazier, Tim van Orden, etc) who do endurance events/training on a raw diet. What do you think about this? And why do you feel that you had to increase your cooked food when you trained for a marathon? Obviously I have to listen to my own body, but any thoughts/advice would be much appreciated! I want to stay as high raw as possible and still rock the Ironman .

Hey apple! Glad to hear you're doing well! Wow, an Ironman, that's amazing! I honestly believe that you can eat raw and fuel yourself properly to train for a long distance endurance race. When I started training, though, I didn't really know how to do that. I tried to keep eating raw, but I wasn't eating enough, so I was always starving and my workouts were suffering. I also felt like I "deserved" to eat what I was craving (vegan of course) b/c I was running so much. Now I realize how ridiculous that was. What I deserve is to fuel my body with nutrient-rich living foods so I can feel healthy and happy! Anyway, I started allowing myself to eat a little cooked food. And that led to a little more, and a little more. Pretty soon I was no longer high raw. Pretty soon I was eating Clif Bars pre-run and peanut butter sandwiches afterwards. I really enjoyed my training and felt amazing during the process, but I can't help but wonder how much better I would have felt if I was eating raw.

So, I think you can do it. I've done more research and it sounds like 811 is the diet most raw athletes perform best on. I've dabbled in 811 but have never stuck to it long enough to see if I feel better on it or not. When is your race? My advice is to make sure you're eating enough and getting something in your body soon after your workouts for recovery. As far as fueling during workouts, I found that raisins work pretty well, and so do bananas but they are less portable on the run (or bike, as your case may be!). Please let me know how it goes! I don't know if I'll ever train for a marathon again, but it was an amazing experience to really push my body to its limits and then push a little further and create new limits. I miss feeling like an athlete, but right now my job is like a marathon, lol!

Day 12 100% raw! I am going through some detox- I got a bad headache again today, my face looks ruddy and pretty crappy, and I'm drained, physically and emotionally. When I got to work I had no idea how I was going to make it through the morning cleaning all the dog kennels again. Yesterday I just zipped through it, sprinting through the kennels to get done almost on time, but today I didn't know if I had it in me! I was definitely slower. But the dogs didn't mind ;-)

Food:
-green smoothie w/ 3 bananas, frozen strawberries/blueberries/mango, kale. 3 more bananas.
-Lara bar- last one for a loooong time (sniff, sniff) b/c I found out they aren't completely raw :-( Plus a banana, a nectarine and 2 apples.
-banana & a couple baby carrots w/ 2 T guacamole
-huuuuge salad w/ baby romaine, half a red pepper, a tomato, mushrooms, carrots & vinegar; 2 bananas

I may have another piece of fruit later. I am definitely going to bed early tonight though. I'm fostering 4 kittens for a couple weeks starting tomorrow, so this may be the last decent sleep I have for a while! 8 cats in a one bedroom apartment will be rough!

I am not having a good weekend.

I'm fostering 4 7 week old kittens and they are having diarrhea ALL OVER MY BEDROOM. There is @#$%& on everything I own. I took them home last night and the girl at the shelter who runs the foster care program didn't tell me anything about this. They've been in foster care with someone else for about 2 weeks but I was told this person is going "on vacation" for a week and just needed someone to take them for a week. Then 2 days ago I was told she wasn't taking them back at all. I think the foster care director just lied to me and said the foster parent was going on vacation, when really she couldn't deal with their diarrhea anymore. I am really upset that she would do that to me. When they're not @#$%& all over my house, their butts are leaking @#$%& all over. I have done absolutely nothing but clean @#$%& off my carpets and bedding and clean up after my 4 cats who are stuck in a smaller space now for the past 2 days. I'm taking the kittens to the shelter tomorrow to get checked out by the medical supervisor b/c this is not normal kitten behavior and they probably have parasites, which means my cats are now at risk for coming into contact with parasites. UGH. I don't know if I can deal with this for a week or longer.

Ok, I just needed to vent. I'm pretty upset b/c my carpets are ruined and I'm worried that the kittens are sick. Anyway, still eating all raw, blah blah blah. I feel like crap. I don't think I'm going to work out today. I'm just going to run errands so I don't have to be in this house, then probably sleep.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2009 02:04PM by meow.

They should pay to have your stuff cleaned. They should have told you about the diarrhea up front. Poor kittens. Good luck!

OK, I'm feeling a little better. I got the apartment cleaned up, and the more time I spend with the kittens, the easier it becomes to clean up after them. It's not their fault, after all. Only 2 of them have the leaky butt problem- the other 2 seem perfectly healthy and are thriving. Strange b/c if it was parasites they should all have the symptoms. I guess I'll find out tomorrow...

I am so tired today! I'm going to go take a nap w/ the kittens, they'll love that. They're very cuddly. I tried to work out yesterday after work and only made it through 30 mins. of power-walking before I got so dizzy I had to stop. Definitely detoxing... The food for today is:

-2 bananas and a Lara Bar- my mom keeps buying more for me! But it's ok, I was out of all other food so I would have been pretty hungry.
-2 bananas in the car after grocery shopping
-just had a fruit salad w/ a big mango and about 2 c. fresh organic strawberries- so good- and 2 more bananas
-dinner will be a huge salad w/ baby romaine, carrots, cucumber, tomatoes, half a small avocado and red pepper w/ vinegar
-more fruit afterwards- perhaps a green smoothie if dinner is early

Nap time!

I am feeling significantly better today- I have yet to fall asleep while sitting at the computer, which is a big improvement over yesterday! I have a mild headache and am pretty lethargic, but I definitely feel like doing a light workout or two so I'm going to do some power walking and hopefully get outside for a walk/hike in the evening w/ my mom and my parents' dogs if it stops raining.

I took the 2 @#$%& kittens to the shelter to have the vet tech check them out. I won't know the results of the fecal til tomorrow but it's probably not parasites. She thinks it's either a virus that the other 2 kittens were strong enough to fight off, or their digestive systems simply aren't as well formed as the other kittens' are. The litter had 7 kittens total (3 others are at another girl's house and are perfectly healthy). It's pretty common for large litters to have a weaker kitten or two. The vet tech doesn't think the little runt kitten looks healthy at all He's a full pound lighter than the other @#$%& kitten. But he ate well and is a little more active today. Anyway they peed all over my bed so today I've been cleaning the room up and doing lots of laundry. They might be a lot of work but they're sooooo freaking adorable and I'm going to give it another couple of days, give them some meds and metamucil, and see if I can get the diarrhea and leaky butts to clear up. I feel like the two sicker ones need overnight supervision, which they wouldn't get if I decided to bring them back to the shelter to stay there.

OK so...today has been good, I have had no cravings for cooked foods at all which is very strange for me during heavy detox. Here's my day so far:

-3 bananas; green smoothie w/ 3 more bananas, frozen mango/strawberries/blueberries, kale
-3 more bananas and 2 apples for lunch

I'm going to power walk on the treadmill for about an hour...then I'll have strawberries, a salad w/ the usual veggies & half an avocado, and maybe another apple or banana later on.

are you able to give your kitties raw food diets?

I actually had them on a raw food diet comprised of organic, free range chicken thighs, liver, sometimes salmon if it wasn't too pricey, and a supplement that contained ground bones and all the smaller parts that they'd be eating in the wild. I cut it all up myself b/c it's too expensive to buy the pre-made raw diets. They liked it, but sad to say, I stopped doing it b/c I really hated dealing with meat every day! I know, I should have stuck with it for their sake. I then tried mixing some of the pre-made raw food with their regular diet and they didn't like the pre-made stuff. They get an occasional raw meat treat but that's it. Thanks for reminding me that I need to look into that again for their sake!

So the 2 @#$%& kittens are at the shelter being monitered by our vet tech and a local vet is going to come in and take a look at them. When my supervisors heard they were @#$%& all over my carpets, they couldn't believe I had them for the whole weekend! The other 2 kittens are doing great and got to explore and interact with my cats. My cats are still warming up to them- the youngest is very jealous but the other 3 are ok. It's nice that now they can all be out together! I cleaned up the "kitten room" too, and I feel SO much better now that it's not disgusting anymore!

Still feeling very detox-y and almost like I have the flu (it's definitely detox though b/c my skin looks like crap and I'm losing weight really quickly). I had a very bad headache today and was tired and just plain didn't want to move. I know I just have to power through it. Anyway, food today:

-green smoothie w/ the usual 3 banans, frozen fruit, kale. 2 more bananas.
-large salad w/ baby romaine, carrots, tomato, red pepper, cucumber, half an avo and vinegar; apple
-apple on the way home, then 4 bananas
-a bowl with red, yellow & orange peppers, a tomato, more cucumber and some baby carrots all cut up, and another banana

That's about 1650 calories (I think...maybe 1750?) and about 13% fat. I think. Brain is too tired for math! I am craving salads and bananas...and chocolate but thankfully I don't have any. Also my jeans that fit normally last week were falling off today! So there is one good side of detox!

I'm feeling significantly better today, and more so as the day goes on. Yay! Maybe this round of detox is winding down! The kittens are doing great, having fun running around and playing with my cats. They are so freaking adorable!

Anyway, I ran out of bananas today but my mom was great and got me a bunch of 6. Sadly I only have 2 left- not sure what I'll do tomorrow. I'll have to make a smoothie and then stop at a store on the way to work, b/c I need way more than a 2-banana smoothie to get through a morning at work. Here's today:

-green smoothie w/ 3 small bananas, frozen fruit, kale. 2 more small bananas.
-huge salad w/ baby romaine, carrots, red pepper, mushrooms, half an avo and vinegar. Apple & nectarine. I always eat something like this for lunch and it's terrible food combining and I can barely move for the next hour...but I need something sweet after a salad! So I pay the price.
-apple on the way home
-3 bananas, ~2 c. strawberries, apple...out of food pretty much, just throwing together whatever I have left

It's on the lighter side (1535 calories) but I don't want anything but bananas, and I can't eat the ones I have left tonight! So I guess that means I'm not really hungry, just craving bananas.

I can't believe it's only Thursday! I really thought it was Friday. Ooooh well. I started off the day w/ NO FOOD TO EAT b/c I'd eaten all the bananas my mom got me last night! So I went to the conventional grocery near my job before work to get more bananas to eat really quickly. But they were all green! I mean like no hint of yellow at all. I hate that- who buys bananas and then waits a week to be able to eat them? I needed something very quick that I could eat in 2 minutes while driving with no prep time or mess. So I resorted to a Lara Bar and also got a couple apples for throughout the day. The Lara Bar was good but surprisingly, I missed my fruity breakfast and I was really hungry by lunch time. Then at lunch most of my lettuce that I brought had gone bad! So my lunch salad wasn't big enough. I ended up eating all of my avocado b/c I was just too hungry to do another 5 hours of physical labor on too few calories. By the time work was over I was dizzy and really out of it from just not eating enough. I sped to the health food co-op and got BANANAS! And some other things I ran out of. Then I finally got to eat!

So the day was not so great:

-lara bar, apple
-salad w/ what I could salvage from the baby romaine, a tomato, red pepper, carrots, cucumber and a small avo w/ vinegar; apple
-my last apple the second I was done at work!
-2 bananas in the car, then half a bag of baby carrots and about 1/3 head of cauliflower when I got home (weird cauliflower craving)
-2 more bananas

I may need more food later since that's pretty low. I haven't really been working out lately but I guess with my job I don't really need to if my body doesn't feel like it.

Very detoxy today- bad headache, dead tired, emotional. Yuck. When does it end?

oh man sorry bout the kittys i just caught up reading so forgive me for being late

im glad someone likeyou is giving htem the love and care they need

you are truly stellar

i am currently renovating .. (well im supervising and dictating truth be known )

im hoping by then end of 2010 we have all the 1970's multi layers of carpets out of this house replaced with non pourous flooring

my rescue dogs and occiasional temporary rescues have accidents and i just cant stand carpet anyways for other reasons so i feel your pain hehe

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Hi Jodi! Aww I hear you on the carpet disaster. I have been able to mostly clean up the @#$%& stains, but I'll need to get a heavy duty cleaner once the babies are gone!

Yay it is officially my weekend The two kittens here at my place are awesome. I am in love with them. Two of my cats are really sweet and playful with them, the other two don't want anything to do with them but tolerate sharing their space with them. They're really precious kittens! The other two are being treated with a broad spectrum dewormer at the shelter, and it may be a coincidence, but they are both doing really well, gaining weight, eating well and actually playing! I think they are both going to make it. I may be able to take them back to my place soon once they're dewormed.

I've been eating low-fat again, usually half a small avocado a day as my only overt fat, with the exception of the day I ate a Lara Bar and an entire avocado. But anyway, the same thing that happened last time is happening again. I'm feeling icky and bloated. I know it'll pass though so I'm sticking with this. I think the detox is ending for now. I had energy and desire to work out last night & today, which I haven't felt like doing for a week. Yesterday was just a 40 min. power walk, and today was just a 3 mile run, but hey it's something! Food for today was:

-6 bananas in the morning
-medium sized salad (for me) w/ romaine, carrots, a tomato, half a cucumber, half a small avo, vinegar. Apple.
-fruit feast: 2 bananas, apple, mango. Oh and 1 T raw unhulled sesame seeds...dunno why
-banana after run b/c I was feeling very weak and dizzy. I'm not sure why that happens. I felt fine after 23 mile runs, and now just 3 leaves me feeling like I might pass out.
-craving veggies so I'll try to mooch another salad or just some cut up veggies & maybe tomatoes off the parents. I have nothing. If they're out, then probably a green smoothie or nothing.

I eat the same things every day! I don't know why I bother posting it, but for some reason it makes me feel organized!

My stomach is KILLING ME right now! I was planning to make a huge salad to bring to our father's day dinner, but I ended up just having a glass of water. I bought such amazing looking produce today, too! Ugh. I think my body is telling me pretty clearly that it does not want food though.

I felt ok for the first part of the day and at least I was able to get in an hour long hike with a dog from the shelter. Here's my somewhat pathetic day:

-green smoothie w/ 3 bananas, frozen mango/blueberries/strawberries, tons of kale. Another 1.5 bananas.
-lara bar after the hike
-3 "junior bananas" that are about half the size of regular bananas- they were super ripe so I couldn't resist- plus a mango. Stomach hurt for a while afterwards and then I suddenly got really hungry.

That's about 1300 calories and way too much fat for so little calories but I am done for the day. I feel like there's a boulder sitting in my stomach! I hate this, I wonder what's going on with my body? This never happened in my previous raw attempts.
-an apple, about 1/3 avocado, and a handful of baby carrots, then my stomach said it was done for the day.

I am having a really hard time with cravings today. I want peanut butter on bread so badly! My stomach is still a little off so it's not like I'm even hungry...just craving cooked garbage. Blah. I was able to eat a green smoothie and I just had another banana as a pre-workout snack but it made my stomach turn so now I have to wait for it to digest before I go for a run. I am determined to run today! When I get hungry again maybe around 2-3 PM I am planning on eating my delicious salad that I was going to have last night but make it smaller so my stomach is ok. That should quell the cravings. There's lots of peanut butter upstairs (my family eats it) and I just have to stay away and surround myself with greens and bananas!

I have no idea what's up w/ my stomach. It feels horrible! I woke up around 8:30 and it hurt badly, then by 10:00 it was fine and I was hungry so I had the smoothie. No pain. Then I just had a banana so I wouldn't get that weird dizziness during my run, and now it's killing me again. Maybe I have a stomach bug...this seems too painful for it to simply be my body adjusting to more fresh produce. I have always eaten tons of produce. It could also be stress. There is a dog at work who I'm really attached to who we are probably going to end up euthanizing in the next week or 2 :-( I don't want to get into it here but she's got a lot of fear issues and would be a very difficult and potentially dangerous dog for someone to own. I love her and could maybe, possibly give her a good life in an ideal world, but I have no idea how I'd move to a city with her, travel with her, or find someone else to care for her if I left to visit my family...among lots of other issues. My life would be severely limited, but she would get to have a life... Another concern is that I took a huge paycut when I took this job and am really struggling financially. A dog would easily cost more in a year than all 4 of my cats combined. On top of that I'm having second thoughts about moving back to LA after I already told my friends I'm coming back. The stress of life there, and being so far from my family, might not be what I want. I'm reconsidering moving to NYC. I have no idea though...I wish I could just make a decision and feel good about it.

Yes, that's probably what this stomach thing is about. I remember when I left LA I couldn't eat for a week b/c my stomach was in knots. It felt a lot like this but much worse. But now that I made that connection hopefully I can talk to my family about all this and they can help me sort through it. In the meantime I assume I'll be eating a lot lighter for a little while.

Well that post was a little negative, so on a happy note, I lost 2.5 pounds this week and my skin is looking really good again after that bad bout of detox. Yay for another week of eating 100% raw! I'm looking forward to not having to wear make-up this week- the first week I went 100% I didn't wear any b/c my skin was glowing, and then it started looking worse than it has in over a year b/c of detox! I know it's good though, it means all the bad stuff is being released.

Another happy thought is that the pb cravings have subsided for now :-) And I think I'll be able to run around noon as long as my stomach cooperates.

ha! dont worry about the negative posts thats what diarys/journals are all about you cant always be UP

for the last 2 months ive been trying a face washing protocol called oil cleansing
[www.theoilcleansingmethod.com]

i know it sounds counter-intuitive to clean your skin with oil but read the article and i gotta say i really is working lol

i do it in the bath i have before bed, when i can lie back and steam my face and relax a bit , ive gone from the usual dozen spots around my face to 1 or 2 , which is yippee for me lol i use 2 oil blends, the one for oily skin for forehead, nose area and chin, and the one for dry skin for my cheeks - as i have combo skin

im thinking of trying it on my hubby as he has bad back acne and see if it helps

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist




Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/22/2009 03:56PM by Jgunn.

Jodi I've heard of that face cleansing method before, and read some testimonials- it sounds like people get amazing results! That's great that it worked so well for you! I hate pimples, too. My skin is normally clear but detox definitely causes skin problems for me :-( Thankfully it's clearing up now! I am still using Avalon Organics face soap most days but I hope in the near future I'll be able to use just water to wash my face and of course stop wearing make-up completely!

So my stomach has not gotten any better...I wanted to run 4 miles but ended up with only 3. And I did get dizzy and weak despite eating enough beforehand. I'm going to try taking 2 iron pills per day instead of one. The iron pills I use also have B12 in them (it's the VegLife brand Vegan Iron), but I wonder if it's absorbed that well in a tablet form as opposed to a sublingual. I may have to go back to the sublingual I used to take if taking 2 of these pills doesn't do the trick.

Anyway, my stomach's been hurting badly off and on but I did manage to eat some. Here's my day:

-green smoothie w/ 2 regular bananas and a "junior" banana, frozen mango/strawberries/blueberries, and kale.
-banana
*3 mile run*
-2 bananas immediately after to help w/ the dizziness
-banana & a mango
-just had a big salad w/ red leaf lettuce & baby romaine, a tomato, half a red pepper, 2/3 of a reeeaaallly good avocado, carrots, cucumber and vinegar. Probably the worst thing for my stomach, but energy-wise I feel so much better

I doubt I'll be able to eat anything else today. I hope it's better tomorrow, doing physical work with a stomach ache is no fun!

My stomach is still hurting a lot. It got a little better in the afternoon and I actually started to get very, very hungry...but then ate too much (for right now, not for a normal person or normal day) and now I'm in sooo much pain. I made a list of things that don't hurt my stomach as much, an only came up with bananas, Lara Bars and avocadoes. So I have to try eating mostly those foods (mostly bananas) tomorrow. I should really fast. I'm just afraid of not being able to do my job, or fainting at work. The most I've ever gone w/o food is only about 30 hours, and I got so sick afterwards that I couldn't even go to work the next day. But at the same time, if I eat "too much" I can't work very well, either, b/c of the stomache ache I get.

I talked to my family about the situation with the dog at work and really, I don't think there's anything I can do. Blaaahhhh. I'm so torn up about this. So it doesn't look like the source of the stress is going to get better any time in the next week or two. I jsut need to deal with it and learn how to eat minimally to make the pain as tolerable as possible. Tomorrow I think I'll try to fast til lunch or at least til late morning, and then do bananas for the day til I get home, or possibly a Lara Bar or half an avocado with lunch if I have an appetite.

Today was:

-3 bananas
-banana & lara bar
-3 bananas throughout afternoon- was very hungry!
-huge salad w/ romaine & red leaf lettuce, carrots, cucumber, tomato, red pepper, cauliflower, half a small avo, and vinegar. Then I was still hungry even though my stomach was kind of hurting, so I had ANOTHER lara bar. And now I want to die even though that was over 2 hours ago.

It was about 1550 calories or maybe a bit less, but it was just way too much for my body to handle right now. Lighter day tomorrow for sure.

I'm still around, and of course still raw! Just very busy the past couple of days! My stomach finally stopped acting up on Wednesday- one minute it felt horrible, and the next it was completely normal. It was very weird. I did talk with my family and coworkers about the dog at the shelter and decided I'm not able to take on something like that right now, financially and logically it wouldn't work. So maybe making that decision and dealing with it helped my nerves. I was starving on Thursday & Friday and definitely made up for not being able to eat for 4 days! LOL. Despite that, I still ended up losing about 3.5-4 pounds this week when I stepped on the scale this morning. I'm not used to losing weight so quickly, but with a vacation coming up in just over a month, during which time I'll be in a bikini every waking moment, I'll take it!

Now that I can eat again, I have so much more energy. I was able to get in a very challenging 3 mile run with hard sprint intervals on Friday, and I ran 5 miles last night and didn't get dizzy or weak during either run. I definitely plan on adding in more mileage since I seem to have gotten over the initial detox that left me feeling so awful.

I also decided to buy some raw goodies that I'd been wanting for a while- I got a bag of apricot kernels (I have read so much about their cancer-killing properties!), a jar of truly raw almond butter, and a cacao brownie as a treat. It's shipping in 3-5 business days and it's nice to have that to look forward to! I have felt like I'm in a bit of a rut with food, so I've been trying to branch out a little more. I've been eating a little more fat, which is helping so much with my energy levels. As long as I'm feeling great, I think it's fine to eat a bit more fat for now.

One more big decision I made this week is to stay on the East Coast for the next couple of years. I LOVE California and miss the beach and the West Coast lifestyle a lot, but my family is my priority right now and they are staying on the East Coast. With 4 cats and no money, I only got to see them twice when I was in LA, and the second time was only b/c some crazy guy tried to kill me so they flew me home for a few days! I am not the kind of person who needs to be physically close to someone to feel emotionally close to them, but the distance was really hurting my parents. So I'm going to be moving to Manhattan, which is also where my youngest sister is going to college this fall. I've never lived in the city, but I spent the first 11 years of my life just across the Hudson in New Jersey so it already feels very "homey" to me. My parents are moving to Upstate NY when (or maybe if) our house in Vermont ever sells, so I'll be a short train ride from them and can go visit them when I start to miss trees and wildlife! I don't have any friends in NYC though, so I'll have to start all over there! That does scare me a little, but it's also exciting. I've done the whole starting over thing so many times though, so I'm not too worried. I just hope it's the right choice and I don't regret it and pine away for LA the whole time I'm there! But I'm really following my heart on this one. My parents are not going to be around forever, and my dad's health is decent but not the best. I think I'd regret not spending that time with them much more than I'd regret not moving back to LA.

So...that has nothing to do with raw food but I believe that eating raw has given me the mental clarity to follow the right path! It always does :-)

The foster kittens are awesome, I'm totally in love with them and my cats are doing great with them! I have them for probably another week or two, and I don't know how I'm going to give them up!

And that is all that's new with me! I'm off to get some groceries, run and do some cleaning and relaxing!

"So my stomach has not gotten any better...I wanted to run 4 miles but ended up with only 3. And I did get dizzy and weak despite eating enough beforehand. I'm going to try taking 2 iron pills per day instead of one."

Hi Meow,

I really enjoy reading your journal and following your progress. Iron can really bother a person's stomache. Do you take it after eating when your are full? I have had anemia a lot and I know sometimes I haven't eaten enough and taken iron only to suffer gut pain as a result. Just thought I'd mention that.

I wish I could see your foster kittens! I recently just lost my 12 year old Phoebe due to diabetes complications. I am getting two felines in the fall after summer vacation. I live in Canada.

Cheers!