Hello All,

I look forward to the support posting here will give me!

Brief summary! Day 8! I'm a 39 year old with a family, two boys of 2 and 3 years and a meat eating partner He's not unsupportive but wary and worried (!). Boys are happily addicted to biscuits and sugar food while equally happily munch carrots sticks and cucumber. I live in France in a partly renovated farm house. I have no washing machine or toilet and have been using and emptying a porta potty for over a year now. Money is tough. My partner is fond of drinking. I live in the French Alps, have been here for 3 years. Love it! I nordic walk early every morning in the mountains. I have not told my partner about my commitment to this way of life. I have been saying it's just for a week and today I told him it was for another week! I scarcely believed it myself, that I could make it this far and commit to something I strongly believed in without encouragement of loved ones. I have been reading raw food postings for 6 months and over Winter transistioned to two meals a day finding great energy results. Last monday I decided to try an evening meal and the following day managed a whole day. Then I knew I could do it! Reasons for doing it! Energy, energy and energy. I have goals I want to achieve and with a young children I need to maximise my time to achieve these goals. Also I want to be less grumpy with my children, born of fatigue and frustration. Here's one throwing a ball on my lap top! Attention needed elsewhere! Got to go. By the way feel exhausted and fantastic at the same time on day 8. I have been sleeping so little and doing so much more but the clearer thinking has made me feel great; MORE tomorrow; have a few raw food questions I was hoping to have guidance on. Good vibes :-)
Arrow

Day 9

Benefits: I am more refreshed today. I wanted to tell you about the increase in deep breathing I have got; even when I have stopped smoking before, months after I would get the urge to cough still when really deeply inhaling. Now I can breathe in deeply and strongly without that urge. I continue to feel a weird energy inside, feels buzzy, sometimes it feels like skin crawly and makes me restless and other time just feels, strange really. I am not forgetting where I have put things so much. I should let you know I stopped smoking for good a month ago, I was a pretty light smoker at 5 a day. I also started the walking 5 weeks ago.

Difficulties: None so far today. Tired still. The two previous nights got 6 hours sleep each night so yesterday I was really tired. I don't seem to sleep as deeply as I di before. Getting weird vivid dreams too. My partner has commented on my increase in energy and has said 'maybe I should go on it myself' Craving a little bit of baked beans on toast. Would like hoummous but don't know how to do the chick peas ( do I buy them dried then soak them or can I buy them from a can?) During my 9 days I have continued with herbal and green tea and had hoummous last week and one cooked veggie meal at a restaurant last saturday with my partner.

Eating today; Usual banana and spinach smoothie for breakfast. Dried fruit at 10ish. Then I will eat whatever is left in the fridge. Coconut. Cabbage. Broccoli. Apples. Seeds. Nuts.

Keep on! :-)

Hi Arrow!

It sounds like you are off to a great start! I definitely resonate with you about the strange energy. It does feel buzzy. I've been in the habit of eating some cooked food when I feel it because I don't know what to do with it, but I think I am finally in a place where I can ride it out. It isn't really a bad energy, just different, and to me it feels like maybe if I let it grow, I'm going to experience something uncomfortable. I don't know if I'm making sense because I am thinking this through as I type. I feel like I am going to grow in a way that may not be comfortable. Real growth isn't comfortable, but it is good, and I want to remind myself of that as I ramp up my "rawness". I want to be in a mindset where I am just sitting with my new energy as my body kind of metamorphs into a new wellness and health.

About the chickpeas, I soak them overnight, rinse them three to six times over the next 24 to 48 hours, then make raw hummus with raw sesame seed meal, garlic, lemon, salt and pepper.

Day 10

Difficulties; I had difficulty with a craving for my sons pasta and pesto yesterday. I just had seeds and apples instead. Later on I felt spacey and a little nauseous. I read some posts and found I should eateven if I didn't feel like it! Which I did and fruit and broccoli later felt much better. I think the swim and sunbathe in the afternoon must have been tiring. Today - well, partner took me and the boys out to MacDonalds (I know!) after buying their summer sandels. So, I had a nordic salad. It's yummy but there's prawns and cooked salmon in it, so..don't want to beat myself up about it. He is naughty, buying the boys big icecreams with m&m's when I nipped to the health food shop. He thinks it's a treat. I think it's poison. When I am more established in my healthy eating patterns I might be up for solving this. I have to tell you last night I had a really vivid dream about been diagnosed with incurable cancer. I also dreamt a reply of Jades wedding. Including anguished faces of relatives listeneing to her goodbye/ love speech; disturbing? This raw food really throws up some of your fears to deal with doesn't it?

Benefits.
today, I feel at peace with myself. Happy. Buzzy energy less. In the night my hearing seemed to sharpen suddenly. Mouse rustling in the kitchen sounded like an elephant. My friend who I walk with said my skin was looking really great. I have dropped down a bra size... not so good. That's been a gradual one since the boys were born but recently the weight has come off what with the nordic walks too. I feel chilled and have not been irritated so much with the boys. You know, I love them, but a two and three year old! it's been hard with no family support or freinds having moved here pregnant with my older son at 6 months. Calmer altogether. Not tired today.

Sundancer, been considering what you said. My theory on the buzzy energy is lymph cleansing out toxins, had same feeling when gave up smoking though this is more prolonged and a less an agitated feeling. I think it will pass in time. My feeling on the emotional stuff is that your mind will only tell you stuff when you are ready to deal, and it's a clear insighted recognition rather than the usual block of pain. A good therapist helps or journalling emotional stuff. Hope that makes sense. Got to know what you want to do with all that extra energy too. Those are a few of my thoughts anyway. Thankyou for your reply. I will try the chickpeas :-)

Exercise seems to help me with the buzzy energy. I worked out Wed. evening and felt great. Last night I worked (as a server in a restaurant), so that was my exercise for the day. Going to do some yoga later today, then work tonight and tomorrow. Today is harvest day for the farmer's market, so it's going to be a busy one.

Day 11

Difficulties
Continuing to have cravings today. Seems to get harder, with the cravings. Yet at the same time, it's pretty easy to resist. Broke out with a cold sore. It's not a big deal. Felt a little low today. I have been in the sun so this usually causes an little lip sore but it makes me a little concerned about whether I am getting enough nutrients. Which makes me wonder should I supplement my diet and what with?

Benefits
Energy all day long. A bicker that I might have got wound up about this morning usually got resolved more quickly than normal as I didn't rise to try and defend myself. I had patience for the boys all day. Feel mellow. Usual nordic walk this morning. Continue to feel stronger with this daily.

What I ate; Fruit, seeds and nuts. Miso soup. I made Shazzie's pineapple and avocado salsa for lunch and biscru crackers which I have been delighted to find in the health food shop as I don't have a dehydrater. The flavours seemed a little too complex I don't know if it was the lack of fresh coriander.I loved it in the first few days of being raw. I am keen to try new recipes.

I am finding the buzzy energy to be less in the last few days too I nordic walk up steep hill every morning for about an hour except weekends so I am sure the exercise is helping. I am pretty sure its toxins. I have a new friend in the village and she invited me over for coffee and biscuits. She is currently having chemo. Link to previous nights dream. I felt a little awkward declining the biscuits and awkward explaining about the raw diet particularly as I know and so do many people that this diet is the best way to prevent disease. It was of course fine, I just really underplayed it and said it was a two week diet for energy. I am hardly in the position as of yet to suggest it, or should I? I don't knwo her well enough. The social implications of this diet are tricky. I think maybe always underplay it ( I can come across as over confident at times, I know ) and let the results speak for themselves. Also they invited us for dinner, no firm date yet, but I don't know how I handle that. I had a thought that I would ask her to do me just a salad and then make a raw chocolate pudding for them. The trouble is all these ingredients are so expensive...sigh.

Good luck to all of you out there :-)

Day 12


Yes, quite a few difficulties. Last night I went out to a little guitar and singing session and had 4 cigarettes and 4 glasses of wine. Came back gone one.I can't say that was very big or clever of me. Must say it was fun though. Today I was extra tired, but managed to keep up the energy levels for the boys all day. Body heavier and I also had a bout of cramp in my toes. Itchy ears. Thought I'd skipped the irritability too until Max stood on my guitar.
I need to remind myself why I gave up smoking in the first place. One major reason was to preserve my voice. The raw food thing is also a base to help me achieve my goal of performing for my 40th in October. I have always wanted to be a folk guitarist/ singer. It means a lot to me to try this for my 40th. Think I'll take a green juice next week. My boys tucked into celery sticks with a kind of almond hoummus thing I made with garlic. 'This is yummy mummy'. Quite a joy to see them eat so healthily. They love to try anything I make. It's such a bonus.

Day 13

Difficulties hungry all day, felt weak and dizzy when I bend over. Tried to eat lots more than I am usually doing. Sore mouth. Am I getting B12 deficient? or am I simply not eating enough.

Good things
Energy all day. My boys have a bad cough. I don't have a cold though, perhaps I am fighting off an infection.

Day 14

Feel a little low today. It's other things in my life...not the food. Basically the usual sense of overwhelm with all the immediate family demands and hope to achieve my personal goals. The raw transition, is well, incredible basically. I cannot believe my shift in energy. Even my partner said it seemed to be working for me, and how he noticed an incredible change in my energy levels and it was clear I really believed in it. He said if I were to eat meat would I feel I was letting myself down. I felt that was a hard one to answer and all I could say was it is a journey I didn't want to get off yet, yes and no if I ate meat. I think if I ate meat it would be because of nutrition reasons. My cravings are not for meat, they are for pasta usually, which I think is an emotional desire for sedation. I do acknowledge the B12 thing though. I don't know whether I should have eggs cooked or non cooked or get a supplement. ANy thoughts appreciated. Physically I feel stronger although I am doing more each day. Yesterdays sore mouth, low energy and the cold sore all cleared up already. I need to explore some new recipes. I rely on ginger nori rolls and guacmole for variety, but just eat tons of fruit and seeds and nuts usually. I am noticing I am always eating at the moment. I don't quite knkow what to make of this.

:-)

Day 15

A brief one this evening.
Feeling great or did, til I did yoga. I have poor posture, getting a dowagers hump, going to do my absolute best to readjust posture. It's more apparent since I have lost weight off shoulders through nordic walking. Did yoga, 6 salutes to the sun and self corrected posture all day, looking in mirror to stick chest out, pull head up. Only problem is it's given me a terrific headache. I have a feeing all the separation around those cervical vertrabrae have released toxins. Lots of water and a restful evening as much as I could anyway. My youngest got his finger shut in the door by his brother, luckily noting permanently damaged, upsetting. Great raw day apart from all that. Energy still coming on leaps and bounds.:-)

>Thought I'd skipped the irritability too until Max stood on my guitar.<

;-p !!!

Arrow, I think you're doing great!

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

I do too! this is definitely a process. We are completely changing our lives in a sense, and I'm glad you are patient with yourself. I haven't smoked in a long time, but I did drink a martini and three glasses of wine the other day -- oops!!

>but I did drink a martini and three glasses of wine the other day -- oops!!<

Glad I'm not the only one who drinks alcohol every once in awhile. I have a beer about once every week or two -- 1 24 oz. one, too. I'd drink wine, which I think is better for me, but I can't stand the after-taste. However, my favorite 'high' is to have a couple of kombucha drinks on an empty stomach. ;-p

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

Day 15 & 16

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement, it means a lot. So I didn't post yesterday but wanted to update you on yesterdays successful raw food lunch with a like minded friend who is doing 50% raw and was a health and environmentally conscious vegetarian before, unlike me. She introduced me to a couple of lovely new recipes, vine tomatoes stuffed with olives, mushrooms, capers and sun dried tomatoes, yum and a simple red cabbage coleslaw with chives and basil. Delicious.Finally, new recipes to keep me inspired. Had a big lunch! I am wondering about using my oven on a low setting as a dyhydrater Continuing with the walking and the yoga... only some sun salutes and a shoulder stand. Yoga is so powerful. Although my partner thinks I am talking rubbish when I say about it releasing my toxins...my bowels say otherwise. a little grumpy today with the newly stretched muscles, and lack of addressing things I should be doing (namely keeping track of finances and paperwork and other Important things :-) but still on the whole feel fantastic. I am planting my first vegetable garden too which is exciting. I have not had a drop of alcohol or a ciggie since jam at the pub last friday, seems to be that environment. No cravings either, highly unusual for a start stopper like me, which I again must attribute to the raw food. Also, partner, highly praising of new diet and change in me, keep it up! he says. I have to go, Archie is sticking stamps to the kitchen floor.:-)

Day 17
I am posting for yesterday again. I am so encouraged by my energy levels and new ability to focus in the morning but additionally am taking on a lot to match my growing energy hence feel physically and mentally challenged and a little fatigued with that. In otherwords building stamina. Good thing! Made an indian coleslaw yesterday, it's pretty good. Now, I really enjoyed my friends coleslaw but it had mayonnaise and I noticed I had some stomach pains later, a first, wonder if they were related. I don't know, it seems likely but surely such a small thing. My partner promised to come home in the evening at a certain time as he promised but didn't, if fact into the night but I DIDN'T blow my top like I normally do..that's a huge change for me.

Day 18
My partner was expecting me to be grumpy about last night, but I just wasn't. That's the food that's bringing about strength to change in my approach.
I am still going strong and really enjoying the changes. Here's a weird one, I went to a local french meeting last night for organising the village party and after this incredibly long meeting you are obliged to stand around and have a beer, it's really bad form to leave, or there was lemonade which I didn't notice, I had one beer because I was so thirsty. When I got back my partner poured me a glass of wine, but fortunately I didn't feel tempted and went to bed. This morning I have a blocked nose, first time in 2 weeks and a slight headache. I want to continue with raw foods but it's interesting, social expectations. Next meeting I'll take water, I don't mind if they think it's not the norm,
As you know I am trying to focus on my posture. Two old men burst out laughing at me in a bar when I popped in to buy a paper. Definitely overdoing the sticking out the chest thing! Partner laughing too as I strain for correct alignment and end up looking like I've a pole shoved up my...:-)

This is actually day 20

So, when I began this I din't imagine I would have come so far in such a short space of time. I just am amazed at the energy levels I have which includes a greater calmness with my family. I cannot imagine wanting to compromise these feelings. For example today, despite being woken 4 or 5 times in the night by my little one who was poorly, I got up at 7am to do car boot sale, including face painting, something I've always wanted to do, but never had the courage or the energy. My partner met me down there at 1Oam. I was happy to have done something I always said I would do. And the other thing was rather than masses of preparation it just took a few days of a bit of organising. I just had the energy to it, that's all, but it's everything too.
I'm not saying it's perfect or I am by any means but certainly I want to continue. I can't imagine feeling any better than I do already actually, probably because I never have. Is it possible? Only other raw foodists will know the effects of this change and understand my enthusiasm.

Arrow,
You're inspiring me! Great to hear that you are feeling so charged and infused with energy.[[/color]

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

Day 21

Brilliant, glad to be inspiring. My boys have had a cold for 2 weeks now with bad coughs. I'm usually first to catch something from then, first to complain of low energy, want to rest up a lot...no cold, no cough, nothing to report. I have dropped a trousers size, the new trousers I got for summer a month ago are slipping off too much to wear. I am a size, well, was a size 12.(uk) Wasn't doing this for weight loss, but perhaps, perhaps I might get to wear a bikini down the pool this summer :-)

Thought I might post what I ate today. Usual banana ( 4 bananas, large handful of spinach, almond powder) and spinach smoothie, green juice (cucumber and celery). Nordic salad at Quickburger - my slip up for the week (salmon, prawns and dressing), Sunflower seeds with a banana. Indian coleslaw. Couple of carrots. 2 apples, two oranges. Herbal teas, green tea. I cannot remember what else I ate, Think that's it although it doesn't seems masses, so I thought perhaps there was more. I will probably snack on a few dehydrated crackers now though.

Drained today, too much sun yesterday being responsible. However, still made it with yoga, portrait drawing and a school meeting. :-)

Day 22

So, I have to tell you I made lunch for a neighbour who is a great chef, I was a little nervous of it turning out well, she doesn't have children either, so things are planned and not rushed in her life. I was inspired by Quickburgers nordic salad and made a prawn and salmon salad with bulgar wheat with a tarrogan and sorrel dressing and acocado salsa with dehdrated chips for starter. It was pronounced delicious and we had a lovely time. The boys were super good and didn't interrupt. However, in terms of raw food, raw is exactly what I didn't eat; I had I suppose, a tablespoon of prawns, a small slice of salmon and a couple of tablespoons of bulgar wheat. Bit of a tummy ache too after.So in terms of my journey, this is the first fall off given yesterday's slip up too. So, is this a departure, a lapse or a recognition of this being the way I see fit to eat? My understanding is that chimps eat 5% diet of termites. Do I need to supplement? I can't say it rested there. In the evening I had a peach schnapps and 3 cigarettes due to an ongoing battle of opinions about the boys bedtimes. Suppressing some anger and requiring sedation! I had allowed myself to become very frustrated in the last few days about this ongoing never resolved debate involving needing to sleep with the boys in order to get them to go to sleep, therby losing all or a good chunk of our evenings.
I guess not a great day in terms of raw food. After all the proclamation of success too. Well, it is a journey after all.

Day 23

Back on track, despite Archie waking me 7 times in the night. Bought linseed to make crackers. I will have a go in the oven at a low temp over night. Another cigarette crept in tonight. I should acknowledge there are other areas in my life that need adressing. I do acknowledge them, but this isn't the forum for all that :-) Raw food will give me the energy and strength to deal with this. Wish me luck.

Day 24

Felt great all day, back on track with all not quite raw. Apart from my usual green tea, herbal teas, and tonight I had a 2 squares of organic chocolate after drooling over frestopias video on raw chocolate pie. I went swimming with the boys and some friends today with a picnic to follow. Both talked about dieting and I mentioned I was on all raw, but they weren't very interested and said oh I couldn't do that. I didn't really mind though, because I know what is happening to me is in many ways an intensely personal transformation. I was pleased with some portrait work I did tonight.

Day 25
Getting used to 6am start for a nordic walk instead of 7am. I made a pesto and courgette strips dinner tonight which was, I have to say, tasty sublime. Oh I would like a spiraliser now after that experiment. At present for my raw food journey, I have a food processor, a juicer and hooray, I found a coffee grinder in storage. I thought you might like to know what else I ate, 4 oranges for breakfast, a head of broccoli, handfuls of sunflower seeds, a pear, 15 dates and two courgettes worth of courgette pasta pesto with a tomato. Peckish for a snack now it's 9.30pm and will have another pear and some nuts :-) I cannot believe a month is nearly up on this radical lifestyle change which is starting to feel more commonplace and normal as the days go on. Continue to feel good. I was irritable really easily and raw food and walking gives me the resources to cope with dealing with stress. I can't tell you exactly how much my irritabilty has reduced, but I would say by about 60%. Whatever, it's huge the difference.

A little aside...
Jodi, the banana eating buddhist? Are you out there? I would really value your opinion on something, you seem to give such lovely wise advice to people, could you help me on on something I am struggling with? Hope you come across this :-)

sure thing send me a message

and wow yer sweet thanks for the lovely compliment !

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Thanks Jodi, I've posted you a private, it's a long one!

DAY 26 AND 27 SLIP UPS AND EXCUSES, mmn, not good! FISH 4 or 5 times this week.

Day 26

Doing well but not the evening meal, another slip(! Partner and I are having three weekly romantic dinners to have time for ourselves. Usually involves me listening to him talk about his work problems but never mind it's the thought that counts :-) France generally means lots of meat. I had trout, I know, I'm sorry, and salad.

Day 27

All good except evening meal! BBQ at friends house, DUR again! salmon and lots of salad. Ouch. Tummy ache after. I figured we rarely go out so I would deal with a little cooked food maybe once a month, but I've made excuse for salmon or fish maybe five times this week! What is going on? Time for a supplement and to start taking this seriously again. My ethics haven't changed but as soon as I went into what a success this has been mode, I lost my focus, and quite frankly was SO worried about losing my energy though possible lack of correct mineral intake, decided I couldn't afford the supplements and thought ok, well I'll have a raw egg every now and then, but couldn't face it raw, reasoned a cooked egg last weekend was ok, which turned into feeling washed out at the start of the week, which turned into a justification for eating loads of cooked fish this week.

To supplement or to not supplement, that is the question. WHether it is nobler of the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous meat eating or to take supplements against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them. Excuse me, it has been a long hot day. Good night all.

dont worry about the slips it gets easier and easier after each one I sent you back a PM

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

here is a site for free that can help you with some french stuff there is free audio there for you to download that you can listen too on an MP3 player or IPOD or something liek that if you have one or can get one

[www.frenchtoday.com]

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist




Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2009 12:11AM by Jgunn.

May 25th - day 28
All good, full raw day. A lot of listening to french on my new ipod.

May 26th - day 29
Another full raw day.

May 27th - day 30
Salad nordique at Quickburger - apart from that all good. ( tablespoon of salmon and a bit of bulghar wheat)(ball pool and slide for the boys being major attraction) A month today! Learning french like crazy. To fill you in a little bit money is pretty tight (when is it ever not) so I am needing to go back into my profession as an occupational therapist when both boys go to school in September, following a chat and a little help from Jodi We'ed all like to say money is not important, but not having finacial freedom is a bit of an issue.Feeling a bit rough today, coated tongue, and diarrhoea. Sorry about the gory details! Maybe to do with a lot of olives I had last night with garlic and strong herbs. Enjoying my courgette pasta and pesto. Lots of things done today in preparation for a visit to England tomorrow for 5 days. I won't be able to post but I will keep a track of how I do and let you know how it goes!

Month 1 Summary;

Didn't post for 8 days because I didn't think I could do it! The inital withdrawal was milder but more prolonged than giving up smoking. Fatigue, buzzy skin crawly sensations and sleeplessness with vivid dreams. These faded after day 14 or so. At the same time I was experiencing immediate benefits. Clearer skin, brighter eyes, no aches and pains when I got up in the morning and energy to chat and do things in the evening. I should say I am sticking with herbal and green tea at this point.

2nd week

This week brought up some undealt with stuff. I tried to focus on some of my goals, singing, guitar and posture, involvement in the community, doing a vegetable garden for the first time but I drank wine and restarted smoking.

3rd Week

Still doing great, maybe 80% with quite a bit of salmon this week. This stemmed from fear of losing energy! I had been a vegan for 6 weeks some years ago and got depleted pretty quickly through lack of understanding.

4th Week

Still clocking in most days fully raw but continuing to have a few cigarettes daily as a habitual method to sedate emotions. Finally admit to myself that all personally significant goals are blocked until I address a fundamental one right in front of me. Ask Jodie the Banana Eating Buddha's advice on things I 'know' already. Sadness but courage to address! Benefits of raw food slightly nullified by smoking. It's a real shame but I know that sore throat is directly related.

Advantages, well dropped a dress size from 12 to a 10, face looks glowy, eyes bright, no stiffness or aches when I get up or sense of heaviness, better concentration, less irritablity, more energy, no zombie head, less fatigue. Unexpected support from partner as he sees positive incredible results!
Disadvantages, none.
Challenges; to give up smoking, still don't know if I should supplement or not, goal redirection, cutting out the salmon/ substituting, comments 'you look great but don't lose any more weight!

5th week I will be in the UK for the start of my second month which will be a challenge to celebrate my mothers' 80th birthday.

Thanks for reading! and I would love to hear your comments!

hang in there arrow hun all these things that get to us , get easier to deal with

you are making huge strides towards getting what you want , being who you want to be

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

June 7th

Hi guys - maintained a 80% raw diet when I was back in the uk. It was pretty difficult. Mum took the family all out for a pub lunch and there was no salad on the menu! I ended up having scallops and salmon for main course. We also went for a meal out and unbeknown to me until I got there, it was a carvery. I know that she would have been upset had I insisted I had lots of cooked veg and the vegetarian option, a chilli. Cooked veggies taste so tasteless and lose texture. Tummy pains and very full after! The final night my partner bought a chinese takeaway and I had some water mushrooms and beansprouts with my salad. APart from those occasions, there were plenty of salads for evening meals and lunches, so I really enjoyed those.

SInce I have been back I have had a black coffee and tonight I am eating a packet of my sons organic chocolate buttons. They don't taste very nice actually. I couldn't resist though!

I have been very emotional with feeling very alert since I have been back from the UK. I came back tuesday and since then it's been full raw apart from the above.

So I have finally made the decision to leave my partner who is an alcoholic and who is disrespectful, lazy and unkind and in denial. I will be going back to England at around the start of July when my oldest ends his school year.

It's been the hardest decision I have ever made but I finally see how the boys are affected. I know I am making the right decision for us all. I have given him the option of moving out til I find a job but he refuses.

Truly raw food has given me the strength and clarity to move forward. Wish me luck, it's going to be a hard ride out. :-)