I ate mroe tonight

I feel so empty

My marriage is all but DONE

I am craving cereal, bread and nut butter!!
BUT i ate

another Lara bar
an apple with sesame seeds, agave and cinnamon.

I just feel so empty and lonely...I just cannot seem to let go...
Wish I could run away....FAR away,

I want to go to him but he will never change - even now, he doesn't hear a thing I say!

I packed my food for tomorrow

1 pomello
3 oranges
4 apples

Breakfast will be

Kale + 3-4 banana smoothie
will add sprouted flax seeds to the mix



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2007 04:28AM by rawrnr.

I taught a Body pump class today at the gym 6:30AM!!

Being a fitness instructor is the only thing htat haas saved me from turning into a fat cow! I tell ya!

After class I ate my green smoothie

3.5 banana's
4-5 c kale

no supplements today.

Am in Toronto too, it's cold! Where do you get Lara bars? Haven't found much "raw" anything in Toronto but the staff at the Big Carrot does know what it means. But most of their prepared food that they sell is cooked.
I am about 70% raw and sliding cuz of the cold. I'm so hungry!
Have been there and done that with the big dump!

Hey!!!

How R U???

YUP cold alright...

I'm in Mississaauga

the local Loblaws carries lara bars believe it or not!!

so does Whole Foods in Oakville

Lots of RAw stuff at Whole Foods - Organic produce, they carry a lot of david wolfs line of raw - natures first law...

....there's a store also called ORganic Garage in Oakville they even carry raw nut and fruit bars! also chocolate -

I don't know hte East end very well...How long have you been playing at being raw?
I've been at it for about 2 years - it was time to take the plunge, so...I thoguth I'd start a log..keep me on track...after xmas especially!!

YIKES!!!

We shoudl go to LIVE and have dinner or lunch!!
Live is a raw food restaurant on Dupont I think - LOTS LOTS of RAW options, but the atmosphere is only ok...

I don't anyone who is raw, I do attend the raw pot luck put on by Gary every o nce in awhile...

So nice to hear for a fellow Canadian!

I try to keep warm by wearing layers LOTS!
Exercising and drinking herbal tea - yes its cooked! HOT

I've eaten:

1 honey pomello
3 navel oranges
2 apples

I have another Bodypump class to teach at Goodlife tonight at 6:30 - It's release week....

I have a pain in my neck, I think i overstrained it at practice...

I am subbing a spinning class tomorrow at 6:15 AM!!!

I caved in a weighed myself - 138 - I lost 4 pounds...
My former body is still far away...

Want to get down to my pre x-mas weight of 128!!

Smiles...pass me those ear muffs!!!
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I'm in south Etobicoke but I do go to Big Carrot . Lived in Oakville for 19 years, just down the street from Whole Foods which I also go to fairly regularly. Will have to look for the D Wolfe line. Organic Garage? Where's that? On Kerr?

I am trying to get back into some kind of shape after 4 yrs of stress and separation, have joined a place close by called Take 30 but have a sore shoulder which isn't healing so not doing much except walking my dogs. The woman at the gym says I should eat meat/protein if I want to build muscle, I'm dying to prove her wrong. Love Yoga too. I'm a young 52, no kids.

Started on the green smoothies back in October and felt so incredible I started with the fruit too. Finally ordered a dehydrator cuz I gotta have some crackers etc. I have every kind of nut in my fridge.

I have a feeling this will be easier in the summer. I thought I could do this 100 % but am finding it super hard in the evenings.

Am loving those cheap Mexican mangoes at Loblaws right now, Melangos they're called. I eat lots of bananas too and today I was craving oranges but only brought one to work. I want to make a strawberry shake with almond milk and real vanilla bean but I gotta soak some almonds so that will have to wait until tomorrow night.

A HOT bath with epsom salts makes me sleep like a baby and feel warm especially after a good workout.

LIVE would be great, let me know when you next go.

Hey!!

I'm you neighbour!!

I jut taught a body pump class at Goodlife in Etobicoke - the one on top of the loblaws at the West mall

I also teach BP at Valhalla!

i live At lakeshore and cawthra..
WE need to all hook up and go eat!!

I am a immature 38!
I am going through a breakup..very hard and sad..
I have 6 year old cooked vegan beautiful girl!!

You don't meed meat for protein OR grains for carbs...
Look at me!
I run marathons
lift weights
teach aerobics and spin classes
And i teach PE..

you should join Goodlife...it's great!!

I'm eating emotionally tonight

I came home not hungry but had about 3-4 c of my kale/seaweed salad I LOVE it!!

then I had an orange
then an apple with walnuts/agave and sesame seeds

Then 6 tsp sesame seeds with sprouted flax seeds mixed in with more agave and raw honey - i have always craved FAT AND SUGAR = a DEADLY combination!!

Bloatedness here I am!

I taught a spinning class this morning at 6:15am

It is SO hard getting up in this cold!!!

But I did it, and once it's over (the work out) I am SO HAPPY!! not cus it's over, but because I feel so AWESOME!!!

Just get out there, do it and remember how you feel when your done!!

I've had a rushed morning and only brought 4-5 apples to eat....
I'm not hungry though...

I've had
3 grapefruits juice
BIG drop of E3 LIve

I've been sipping herbal tea - candy cane flavour to keep warm!!
Its YUMMY

I also have GInsing tea often times..any word, oppinion on this?

Sorry about "the very hard and very sad" stuff.

I went through it too and it is sad. Looking back I can't give you any words of wisdom because actually it is awful. It stinks! and sometimes you have no choice about that fact but very few people react to emotionally painful stuff by focusing on fitness and improving their diet - so you will get through it way faster and easier than most.

I look around and see a lot of people who can't cope at all and drink or eat themselves to a slow death and it drives me crazy.

I live at Lakeshore and Royal York. Am committed for a while to Take 30 and it's so close to where I live. I plan to run there and back for my workouts.

Ginseng tea? I bought some recently, it makes my stomach feel good. If I am under stress (like most of the time) my digestion is affected I find. Also I like fennell tea, I have some (made of just the unground seeds) that I ordered on the Internet for IBS and I like it even though I don't have full blown IBS.

Last night I put a 1/4 inch slice of lemon, rind and all into my green smoothie, (spinach and apple) and it was really nice, made my tummy feel good and it tasted more like a fruit concoction, very fresh and tasty.

Many happy runs and workouts to you! We'll have to meet one of these days for sure!

I'm gonna try to remember what I ate this afternoon/evening...


The 5 apples I took to work..

2 BIG bowls of my Kale/Seaweed salad - finished it off

sprouted flax meal sprinkled on top

3 oranges

1 pear

6 tsp of sesame seeds
mixed with raw honey 2 tbs

I crave fat and sugar..WHY WHT WHY???


HEy Dulset I know where you live..I often run the lake path in the summer...

ya, breaking up sucks..it's even worse when yuo still live together..LONG story, we are selling in the summer....
I can't even look at him...I still love him...but, but, but...

SO many buts....


Lemon rind in green smoothies...interesting. I always add 1/2 a lemon to my green juices - makes ALL the difference in taste!

Keep warm!!

this mornign I had:

A green smoothie

4 asain pears (OMG YUMMY!!
1 c strawberries
5c baby greens
Silica gel (hair/skin)

I am teaching 3 yes 3 body pump classes today!!
YIKES!!!

I was lazy and just packed
6 apples
3-4 c baby carrots


Will chew on those till I get home at about 8 pm

rawrnr where are u?
my inspiration hasn't been here

i am sorry but u are a riot...this is not said as in making fun at you but really enjoying your humor.can u get the gabriel cousens rainbow green-live cuisine book?it tells about different phases u can go thru to help u be better.i just got it today and am trying to follow what he says.when my hubby and i were going to break up in yr.30 of our marriage...i got down to a size 4 cause i was so heart sick i could not eat.then i got a gall bladder taking out from stress and not eating.i only smoked (3 packs)a day and drank coffee and starved.so i am happy that this time-i have this site and also direction like some of these books to go by.i looked for those lara bars but by the time i got to the store-i thought it was luna bars and so since i was not for sure remembering...i got none.good luck rawrnr-taylor

Shoot!

I just wrote a post and then erased it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ladies above thank you for bringing a smile to my face, glad that I can bring one to yours!!!

I ate 3 of the 5 apples and 3c baby cut carrots

got home and ate

2 bananas wraped in 4 leaves of romaine EACH

I was craving the sugar and fat so I cut up 2 more bananas, added maple syrup (agave was gone...) threw in 10 tsp of sesame seeds a bunch, maybe 1/2 c walnuts stired it up and ate it!!

I am now satiated

i actually have a library of raw books, I have cousins book, I'm do not want to go
high fat..I am very active and need sugar...as yuo can see by my addiction to honey/syrup and agave...

I want to go 811 in February.....I like Doug Grahams approach...he has a book it s new called the 811 diet....you can order it from his site foodnsport I believe,...



How do you end a 30 year relationship...Umust have been a mess...I'm so sorry...But what a nice side effect..size 4...I eat and eat and eat when I'm sad..or happy...or frustrated....or angry..or or anything really...Mrs. PAC MAN!!

Lara bars..ppl LOVE the cherry pie but I like the coco chocolate!

My daughter LOVES LUNA bars!!

Gald to see someone missed me!!!!

well-we ended up realizing we loved each other and now we are going on close to 40 yrs. together.i have been with him since i was 18.so hard...not matter.thanks for the info u gave me on the 811-i am so new to this stuff..i don't know alot.i also am anxious to try the lara bars.are they high calorie?the thing i have a time with is being cold.i walk 5-6 miles and get inside and i still feel cold in my feet.so i have been just drinking hot clove tea.also i got a big polyester sock and filled it with rice and i tied the open end and i out it in the microwave for 15 mins. and i carry that about to get warm.on my feet my neck and hands.boy-it sure feels good.taylor

What a great idea - the sock thing....

I'm just too lazy....

I run in this cloD!!!
I am always cold too....I just wear layers - THAT is the secret!!!
Do you go to the gym? a good work out indoors - treadmill, group exercise...will do the trick, and if your gym has a sauna - ROCK ON SISTER!!!

I am so happy for you and your husband....)

Tha Lara bars are about 300 calories - they are like raw JUNK FOOD - if you can avoid them do...they are what is called a combo-abombo - a really bad mix....you are supposed to never mix nuts and fruit - well, fat and fruit, especially dry fruit. Lara bars are basically dates, nuts and natural flavourings....
A quick fix...but not healthy....in terms of RAW of course...

I came back on to post what else I've eaten this evening...
NOT HUNGRY - just emotional
2 more bananas (they are HUGE - NICE SIZE - Ron Jeremy if ya know whatI mean!!)
2 handfuls of home made organic sun dried tomatoes
I dipped one banana in sesame seeds - (what is wrong with me??? THAT is SO bird like!!)

This is the end of DAY 10!!!!

I FEEL GREAT - not that I didn't feel great before...BUT I know being GRAIN Dairy Meat and cooked free is doing my body GOOD!!!

drinking camomile tea rightnow...

Goodnight...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzz

No time - marking exams....
real quick


I had
3 grapefruits juiced
BIG dollop of E3Live

Brougt 6 apples to work, already ate 5 (nerves)

LAter

Oh my I came home at 3 and have been eating every since!! It's 4:30

I ate
2 bananas
8 leaves of romaine
1.5 c sesame seeds
1/2c sprouted flax meal
Bunch of dehydrated tomatoes
1 apple
1/4c maple syrup
tbs raw honey
There goes my daily calorie quotent!!
Not in that order either - just a mix and match....
I am a PIG!!!

i don't go to a gym...i would like to but i have a thead mill-it is horrid.a carido stride...lifted up in front and it make s u feel like u are running uphill.i can do 5 minutes on it.my grandsons can run fast on it endlessly.i had a cherry lara bar.pretty good.rawrnr-what is the E3live stuff?i am sorry about your marriage.some thing must be wrong with him cause u are very hillaious.are u gaining any weight?maybe u are eating what your body needs and u aren't a pig at all..taylor

Hi Taylor

I have a great treadmill at home as well as a lifecycle...I just cannot get my butt on them at home!! I need the environment of a gym where everyone is focused on their workout to workout!!

BE careful with the constant uphill on yours, it's not natural to be constantly climbing..may cause injury...

lara bars...yummy raw junk food!!

E3Live is a live forzen algae...they have a web site...Cousins is a big supporter of it....Way too many benefits (so they say) to list, just do a search on E3 live ..you can get it at whole foods or organic garage (cheaper) in Oakville.

Thanx for the support on teh breakup - I am a mess....I am depressed...I feel that I have to be angry at him to get by...when I am nice, I just look into his eyes and want to hug him...I actually did once..he hugged me back, but that was it. He sleeps on the couch ...we need to sell this house!
I don't want to hate him, but I just don't know how else to be strong..I have to LET GO! I just keep saying that..LET GO...it's SO SO HARD


Last night I ate more, fill the void...it was raw though (minus the olives)


10 olives
1tbs sprouted flax
1 LARGE cucumber
1 tomatoe
15 sundried tomatoes (store bought...probably heated too much)
Cayenne

All chopped up into a nice spicy salad....

My lips were burning....so I topped this off with...

1 orange
2 bananas

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY @#$%&

I CAN EAT EH????

Well, its been 11 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am covered in layer upon layer of clothing here in my freezing office, I even have 2 pairs of pants on!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not going to weigh myself like this...
SO we will have to wait!!

this morning I ate

about 2c Kale
2c strawberries (frozen,organic) NEVER EVER eat non organic strawberries!!
2 bananas

I added all my supplements - silica gel, b vitamins, MSM, Zinc....Just open the caps pour it in!!
I never eat the caps...even the veg ones...

I waw SO tired yesterday from the day before that I missed my running group, I was in bed by 8pm - it was GREAT!!

Short day at school today! the kids are into exams!!
I will go tothe gym and runthe treadmill..about an hour - 10k
IT is way TOOOO COLD to run outside!!
Another reason I skipped my group run last night - they are INSANE!!

My future plans...
I was thinking of going 811 in February...but I th ink I need some extra fat, more than 10% it's just too cold here...
I am going to do a MAster cleanse/juice fast in MArch - 10-15 days...I have March break off so I can rest...I'll start around March 4 or 5 and go in through the break with some water only days,,,never did do water only...I woudl LOVE some company/support...anyone in on that???

I wish I were where you are at. The colder it gets the more my appetite soars.

I even ate a bagel with peanut butter this AM but if I have lots of the green smoothies the cooked food doesn't feel as bad when I have it.

Can you go to work on a Master Cleanse? I was just going to do a parasite cleanse on myself and my dogs for now.

Will probably attempt a juice fast but I've got to do some more reading first. Also I'm on the skinny side and friends and family are starting to give me those compassionate worried looks like "are you sure you're eating enough?"

Alright, I'll get out of your diary for now, sure glad there's someone as keen as you in this neck of the (cold) woods.

Hi Dulset

thanx for visiting!!

YUM>>> BAGLES especially with peanut butter
trust me, i'VE BEEN there ...for 2 years, YES I've been "transitioning" for 2 years...
After these holiday PIG FESTS it was TIME
After I stepped on the scale and weighed 12pounds more it was TIME

NOW IS THE TIME...for me..

I've done about 3 Master cleanses in the past ans maybe 2 juice fasts...
YES you will lose weight, I got down to 120 after 15 days....

Wish I coulda stayed there....
any weight I lost always found it's way back to me through emotional eating... ans some more at times....

I will be doing a psudo Master cleanse/juice fast in March...

Spring cleaning...

I will see if I'm in the mindset for it....

Today I ate:
3 bananas at school
home:
1 large cucumber
2 tomatoes
10-12 dried tomatoes
olives (not raw)
2tbs sprouted flax meal
2tbs black sesame seeds
cayenne pepper

YUMMY SALAD!!

I topped it off with
2 bananas
2 tbs raw honey
1/2 c sesame seeds....

I am almost finished my sesame seeds, I willnot buy them anymore...if I can help myself!! I had the same problem with almonds a while back...

sorry didn't know about pg 2

lol
)

I ate more,

2/3 c sesame seeds
2tbs honey
1c cherries
2 oranges
1 banana

I am DONE all the sesame seeds in the house...well...I have a bit of the black ones left.....

I am DONE eating for today......
Tea in the kettle!

YUMMY Vanilla Maple....with stevia...

Going to play with Rayven My 6 yr old baby!
reading and wrestling..what could be better?!!

forgot to add what I did today in terms of exercise

I ran inside --too friggen cold -not even I am that CRAZY!!

Treadmill, 6.5 miles..so 10.4k

Than I precticed my Spinning for 45 minutes

I felt GREAT today..who says you can't catch up on your sleep....
I musta slept 9 hours last night...
YUM!

I gotta run tomorrow outside it's gonna be 0 - can you believe THAT is considered warm???
Perspective I guess.....

boy! rawrnr-i know what u mean about how u cann't hate him. i was that way too.he had had enough of all the kid stuff.the son going insane and our one daughter was so wild-into drugs and always p.g. and never going to school.he got so tired of it all.we had horrid stuff in the teen yrs for about 15 yrs straight...with all the teen kids.gosh-they were so horrid.well-he wanted to start new. it was out 30th wedding anniversary.i was devastated.my daughter told me "go out and date".i thought who would ever want me-48 yrs old.no one.well -i dated all these younger men.they came out of the woodwork. i dated a 30 yr old nextel salesman and one guy i was starting to fall in love with-he was 34 and hot...nice good man(as far as men go),and i was dating another 34 yr old. they were all my kids ages.so weird.then my hubby wanted me back.mine was going thru a mid-life crisis.agh-horrid.it is when men pay us back for all the p.m.s. we ever had.anyway-that owuld be my adivce-put on your heels and short skirt and go out and dance and have some fun.but then-all my kids were finally out of the house when we went thru our stuff..which made no sense.cause the problem was gone.I WOULD DO A MASTER CLEANSE...WHAT DO U DO?I MEAN I KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT I DO NOT KNOW HOW OR HOW LONG OR ANY OF THE DETAILS ABOUT IT.HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.TAYLOR

Hi

I polished off the black sesame seeds late last night - about 1/2 cup with 2 tbs raw honey....
BAD BAD BAD GIRL!!!
My stomach was hurting this morning...
NEED WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I had
3 grapefruits juiced
a HUGH dollop or E3live

I went for a 15k run

lunch

1 large cucumber
1 pnt of cherry tomatoes
1 tomatoe
wakami (seaweed)
2 tbs hemp protein powder with maca and sprouted flax
1/2 lemon juices
10 olives
1 orange


Went shopping, bought myself some lara bars,had

1 chocolate lara bar
5 plump dried figs
Sipping on candy cane tea...hope the figs get the sesame seeds moving through me!!!
I just wanted to write this B4 I 4got!!

I cannot write rihgt now, daughter need attention!!

Later

Later!

Dinner

1 pound YES 1 pound of dried figs!! That's over 1000 calories!!!
15 shelled walnuts
1 orange

1 lara bar ( I just CANNOT have those in my house!)

dear rawrnr-i read on the back of the lara bars-the cherry ones are 190 calories.so that may make u feel better.taylor

I am so LAME!!

I've been up since 7am

I think I am depressed - pretty sure....
It's so HARD living with someone you love but hate at the same time...

I cannot WAIT to get OUT of here!!!

I have been eating like a DOG!!

I got up and ate 3 apples

then I found a stash of sesame seeds inthe cupboard...definately the last of em...I HOPE!!

Broke out the honey I'm supposed to be saving for my Master Cleanse...
need I say more...

1c sesame seeds
3tbs honey
2 apples
cinnamon

stir it up and CHOW!

2 Bananas on top of it all - they are not even ripe!!
I bought a box of organic ones yesterday, yes, 40 pounds..i will ripen them to brwon then freeze the leftovers for smoothies and ice cream

I don't feel like doing ANYTING but hibernating in my bed!!
I am alone today - he is taking Rayven swimming then to a B-day party...

Wish I were somewhere else with someone else...

u do it gal-that is tuff living.been there! simply horrid.hugs taylor