um yeah that fast... didn't happen. my body is clearly not ready for a water fast at this time. i think starting w/ a juice fast might be easier, maybe over the holiday break (i'm staying in LA). but i felt like crap today before i ate! i only made it til 12:30 pm too! pathetic, huh? my body likes its food! i thought about what i was gaining from not eating and weighed it against what i'd gain from eating lightly, and decided to eat. i have a lot to do to get ready to go home on tuesday morning. i'm sure running around doing errands all weekend didn't help.

b/l: cashew cookie lara bar- omg so good. i wanted fruit but had nothing!
s: went to the store- smoothie w/ 2 bananas, strawberries, frozen bberries & mango, oj
s: 2 raw brazil nuts & 4 raw almonds
d: carrots w/ raw hummus
s: apple &/or a glass or 2 of red wine. don't care if it's not organic. going to see the ex/whatever he may be tonight.

strangely i haven't had much of an appetite since eating that lara bar. i seem to not be hungry on weekends- probably b/c i'm sleeping in...?

i had a really good night last night, hung out w/ friends and then spent some time w/ the boy. things are going really well w/ him, better than it has been for a while. neither of us are freaking out (which we usually do) so that's good. we always have the most intense talks...and now that i'm raw he thinks i'm going insane b/c of all the crazy things i was talking about lol.

anyway...i had 2 veeeery small glasses of red wine- one was organic, one wasn't. i was pretty tipsy but i had them far apart b/c i didn't want to feel sick/get drunk.

today has been nice- i did some laundry and i got all my cleaing done. i'm going to head out for a run in half an hour or so. tomorrow i'm taking my cats to my best friend's place so she & her boyfriend can watch them while i'm gone! eeeek! i have never been apart from them for longer than 2 days when my grandma died. i don't know how i'm going to handle it, but i trust her w/ my life (and more importantly, w/ my babies' lives) and i'll be able to call her every day. i hope they handle it ok. they love her so it should be alright.

food:

b: smoothie w/ 2 small bananas, strawberries, frozen blueberries & mango, oj
s: 3 raw brazil nuts
l: chocolate coconut lara bar, banana (perfect pre-run fuel!)
w/o: 4 mile run, abs & arms
s: apple
d: carrots w/ raw hummus; half an avocado
s: apple

haven't been very hungry this weekend but i have loads of energy and am getting so much done. i've also noticed i seem to need less sleep lately, too, and i don't get very tired at night. my skin is still a little eh- it feels like it wants to break out- but i hope eating mostly fruit will help that. i know i'm still detoxing a bit and i have to wait it out!

i am going through a lot of detox right now. i was totally right when i said yesterday that my skin felt like it wanted to break out. i have 2 zits right now and another on the way i hate this, i have absolutely no self-confidence when my skin isn't clear, and i'm not used to having to deal w/ zits. ugh. i was also planning on seeing the boy again tonight but i feel so gross i may just skip it, which i really don't want to do...we'll see. i have to see how well make-up can cover this up. i was SO tired last night i went to bed at 9 PM! i havne't done that in years! i have a slight headache right now but other than that i feel ok, i hope detox is over for now and i can get back to normal. it seems to last 2-3 days and then i get a break. this would be the 3rd day.

losing more weight...i feel kind of skinny now but i'll get used to it. not sure yet what food will be but maybe i'll post later. i'm flying out tomorrow at 7 AM so i probably won't be on for a day or two- hopefully when i post next i'll have clear skin & no more headaches & exhuastion!

just updating w/ my food

w/o: 50 minute power walk w/ lots of hills (i got up at 5:30 for this! go me!)
b: banana & apple
snack: cashew cookie lara bar, which is sooooo good, & later, a banana
l: salad w/ romaine, cabbage, carrots, zucchini, half an avo, and raw apple cider vinegar mixed w/ a little ff balsamic dressing
s: banana
d: ?? i have another apple, a banana, and some baby carrots. and that's all i have except for some fruit & a lara bar for tomorrow! so i guess that's what i'll have

i have made peace w/ my detox zits. it's not too bad, i guess. they are toxins leaving my body, so how could i be upset? right?

tomorrow at this time i'll be HOME!!! hopefully eating a big green salad and playing with my dogs!

Don't worry about the detox zits. You will just need to wait it out until your body fully detoxes. Think of it as a long-term investment with the payoff of beautiful, clear skin.

Also, remember that eating raw will prevent wrinkles, so in the long-run your skin will be much better off.

Sounds like you are doing great! Those lara bars sound intriguing, but I tend to be a compulsive eater, so I am afraid that I might start down a slippery slope if I eat them. What do you think?

thanks, optimist! that's what i'm telling myself about the detox zits, too. i think it's over for now b/c they're almost cleared up (despite the 11 hours of airplane travel today, which usually KILLS my skin!).

lara bars are REALLY good but if you used to have problems w/ compulsive eating i'd stay away from them. they taste cooked and even though they're raw i find i crave them like cooked foods. in fact i'm craving one right now...hahaha. i don't have compulsive eating tendencies but i can see how someone might eat more lara bars than they want to...they could be quite addictive!

so i'm home!!!! i miss my cats terribly. but i get to see my family, friends and dogs! its cooooold though. but it's weird, it almost feels like i never left. i feel sort of bad for my parents though, b/c all the kids are leaving the nest. me, i moved across the country and am planning on moving to europe within 2 years, my middle sister is going to college just 15 mins. from our house but doesnt come home much, and my youngest sister is already being bitten by the wanderlust bug and will probably move away like i did when she goes to college! it's just hard to see my family changing and my parents getting older. at the same time, i need to live in different places and do new things to feel challenged and alive. maybe the road will lead back home...but to me, there is no place that is "home," its just a feeling i get when i'm surrounded by the people i love.

anyway, food today:

morning: 2 bananas, lara bar from 5 AM to 9 AM (was up at 3:30!)
lunch: apple, and a little later, raw almonds w/ raisins
snack: banana
dinner: big salad w/ romaine, iceberg (parents eat this, lol), parsley to get more greens in, 3 small tomatoes, carrots, red pepper, a teaspoon or less of EVOO and some balsamic vinegar; tiny glass of organic red wine
s: a raw brazil nut...hehe. and maybe an apple since im hungry now

tomorrow i'm going grocery shopping at my favorite local health food stores to stock up on higher quality greens, different veggies, some lara bars, avos, and stuff to make raw hummus for the family! yay.

it is so nice to be home! but so weird to not have any obligations, work, bills, etc. i have NO idea what to do with myself, especially since i don't watch TV and that's all my family does! i think i'll spend a lot of time working on my short stories & screenplay

food today:

b: 2 bananas, half a cashew cookie lara bar
w/o: SUCH A GOOD RUN! on the treadmill (yeah we have one at home!!)- 3.7 miles of speed intervals. i really pushed it and felt great!
l: other half of lara bar, apple
s: banana
s: making raw hummus, so carrots, zucchini & red pepper w/ raw hummus. and maybe cucumbers too.
d: big salad w/ all the veggies i can find, kale, mesclun greens, romaine, half an avo, and a drizzle of EVOO & balsamic vinegar
s: apple if needed

looks good! and the best part is- i dont have to pay for any of it!!!

i am coming out of my awful detox and am very hesitant to eat cooked foods tomorrow. they don't appeal to me at all and i think it'd be best to stay raw since i don't want to back track after getting all those toxins out of me! i am hoping my mother will understand - she knows that i went through some rough detox. the rest of my family could care less what i eat, but my mom is planning on making cooked veggies vegan-style for me. but the thing is, she'll put "vegan butter" on them, which has chemicals and whatnot, and i just don't think my body wants that. i will have a chat w/ her later to see how she reacts. i know i am responsible for MY body and health only, and not for her happiness. she has come very far in accepting my raw foods alternative lifestyle. i don't want to push it...i wonder if i could make something for my family tomorrow that's raw so it seems like i'm joining in their feast, instead of just having salad? not that i dont LOVE salad but they say it's "rabbit food." then again, i hate preparing food. ugh. life is about so much more than food, i should stop worrying about this and let it resolve itself.

In regards to your earlier question, I have decided to eat raw tomorrow. I just feel like I have come a long way and it takes me several days to feel really good & back to normal after eating cooked food. It is just not worth it for me.

I think it would be a great idea for you to make something for your family! Why don't you make a really big and healthy salad with lots of fun ingredients? I do that, and people seem to really like it. Here are some ideas:
-lots of greens
-several different color peppers
-cucumber
-sprouts
-flax seeds
-olives
-mint, parsley, or any other kind of green spice-type thing
-olive oil & lemon

You can also make taboule, which people seem to really like (you can soak the bulgur, so it won't be cooked). Also, there are lots of great raw recipies. Why don't you take advantage of time and free food and make a raw recipe. Natalia Rose's book has lots of great ideas.

You could even make raw ice-cream for your family. Think of how impressed they will be with all of the different raw options out there!

By the way, how old are you? I am 28.

well, so much for spoiling myself w/ tons of fresh produce! i went to my favorite health food co-op and everything was INSANELY expensive. like, much more expensive than even whole foods wouldve been! i didn't even get lara bars, i couldnt get any raw nuts or raw almond butter (but i did bring some raw almonds & brazil nuts), and i had to skimp on everything! organic spinach and mesclun greens $8.60 per pound! that is INSANE! organic tomatoes were $3.99-4.99 per pound, avos were $3 each...how would a raw foodist afford to eat around here? i guess maybe since the cost of living is lower here, if i still lived here i could maybe afford to eat more expensive foods. score one for LA though...i am so happy i can get fresh, locally grown organic food for much less money there.

oh and the mangoes and avos here are hard as rocks they have traveled a long way i guess...and it's freezing here! lol. but hey at least the stuff i got was free since my parents are paying i didnt want to spend too much though so i did really skimp. and i didnt find raw sesame seeds or raw tahini, so no raw hummus til i go back. i did buy some organic apples, bananas, 3 big tomatoes, mesclun greens, 2 avos, 2 yellow peppers, one cucumber, ONE lara bar (hehe) and these 100% raw goji cacao "energy bites" that are made at the store- they are really good, they have a little kick to them! seriously, thats all i bought and it came to $35!!! eeeek!

maybe it's a blessing in disguise, as this will force me to eat more simply this week. less lara bars, raw hummus, etc. and mainly just whole fruits & veggies.

so my above menu has changed a bit, no raw hummus w/ my veggies, and i had 2 cacao goji energy bites too. YUM is all i have to say to those! i'm going to bring lots of them back to LA!

thanksgiving was pretty low-key this year! since my whole family has recently become quasi-vegetarian, we had mostly vegetarian foods. not much vegan, but since i'm raw i didn't want to eat much anyway! i did talk to my mom about staying raw over thanksgiving, and she got upset. she said she was making mashed root veggies just for me. i thought it over and decided one day of eating some cooked veggies, plain, wouldn't hurt too much...i hope. what is wrong w/ cooked veggies, exactly? aaaanyway...here's how today turned out:

b: 2 bananas
s: apple, 2 raw goji-cacao energy bites
l: salad w/ mixed greens, carrots, red & yellow peppers, a giant tomato, half an avo, a tiny bit of EVOO and balsamic & red wine vinegars; another energy bite
w/o: 2.5 mile run, 45-minute walk w/ my mom & the dogs
s: 2 raw brazil nuts & 5 raw almonds.
d: 3 scoops of mashed sweet potatoes, carrots, regular potatoes & parsnips (all organic! go mom!), a few cooked broccolis, and maybe 4 T of cooked corn. the mashed veggies were really good . the broccoli was good but it felt weird to eat it cooked. the corn was super sweet but for some reason i felt especially guilty eating it. i ate this plain, no spices or vegan butter or anything like that.
s: will have an apple or 2

my family kept pressuring me to eat more at dinner, but that was plenty for me and i am not used to getting really full from meals anymore. they were literally scarfing their food and going back for more and more. i could see how addicted they are to bread, especially my middle sister. she must've had at least 5 slices, in addition to everything else.

i was wondering how i'd react to cooked food, but i feel the same. probably b/c it was just plain veggies (or starches- i know the regular potatoes and corn aren't veggies). my energy didnt seem to drop, and i didnt get too full (but i guess i really didnt eat much, either). i just hope it doesnt stall any progress at all. it feels SO GOOD to be over detox for now...i don't want it to come back! lol.

I don't think Lara bars are truly all raw, so I think that's why I found them too harsh and why they might cause cravings.

aquadecoco, i am reading your post & eating a lara bar! lol. i have also wondered if they aren't truly raw. ive also heard that dehydrated wannabe cooked foods cause cravings as well. i hope laras are raw though, they are so easy!

went shopping today from 8-2:30, and am about to go back out! the sales are pretty good so it's a good time to do some holiday shopping.

b: banana, and an apple an hour later
l: out to a cafe- fruit salad w/ a little mango slices, pineapple slices, grapefruit wedges, orange wedge, pomegranite seeds (i think), watermelon wedge, apple slices; tossed salad w/ romaine, tomatoes, cabbage, onion & green goddess dressing (which i'm sure wasn't raw)- this was a pleasant surprise, i was especially happy w/ the fruit salad!
s: lara bar
s: banana
d: probably a big salad w/ the usual veggies, half an avo, and a bit of EVOO & balasmic vinegar
s: apple & green tea

it is SOOOOO cold here! it was 26 when we were out today and i was freezing. it didnt make me want to eat hot food, but it did make me think it'd be hard to be 100% raw here in winter b/c i'm already always cold, even in LA!

i'm a little stressed today b/c my friend who's watching my cats says they really miss me they aren't eating well, one of them @#$%& on her rug (which they never do) and they seem kind of sad. i miss them too! 1.5 more days...i think they'll be ok, but i feel horrible about it.

i didn't do much today...just got an ipod (my first ever) so i spent a while putting a bunch of my dad's rock cds into itunes. i worked out for a bit and also drove to stowe, VT, a really charming ski town. we didnt do much there but it's a nice drive.

i have a friend here in VT who i visited yesterday who is 25 and just had a baby w/ his girlfriend. it's very complicated but there's something between us and i feel really conflicted over what to do. obviously he's w/ his gf so nothing could happen even though he isn't happy with her, and i live 3500 miles away, but i just feel like he's very unhappy and i should do something for him, as a friend. i guess all i can really do is be there when he needs to vent, and if he ever wants to escape for a while i can offer for him to stay w/ me in LA for a few days. i just feel weird about it all b/c of his gf. there is definitely chemistry between the two of us and i just don't want to get in too deep b/c nothing can come of it. especially now that he has a baby! i think i'm just worried about him b/c he had all these big plans and now none of them can happen, but i guess thats life, and he'll adapt. he seems to be so proud of his son and i can tell just from how he talks about him that he loves that baby so much.

just venting! lol.

food today:

b: 2 bananas, a raw brazil nut, 4 raw almonds
w/o: 3.5 mile run, cool-down
l: lara bar
s: apple, banana
s: not having dinner for a while, so im munching 3 carrots (not baby carrots)
d: salad w/ spinach, mixed greens, red & yellow peppers, carrots, hopefully onions, broccoli, half an avo, EVOO & balasmic vinaigrette
s: apple

i am really feeling the effects of lack of variety, especially fruits. i seem to do much better when i'm eating the usual strawberries, blueberries, mango & oj in addition to apples & bananas and whatever else looks good/is on sale that week.

Sounds like some gooood eating hun!!

I love blueberries and mango..what I am living on atm..oh and clementines.

I finally tried larabars last week, I liked it but.. again its kind of too easy to snack on.. isnt optimal food..so not buying them again..but as a treat..fine ..the apple pie ones..Oh my!!

Hope you had a good weekend..

xxx

hey rawdancer! mmm mango..i got a good one today that was nice & ripe! my body was dying for it! i agree w/ you about lara bars. i am weaning myself off of them. i've had 3 i think in the past week...not good but not nearly as much as i'm used to eating! i've been replacing them w/ those 100% raw energy bites, which are pretty much the same thing except they also have goji berries and different nuts/seeds and i am certain that they're 100% raw. less packaging, too, so i feel better about that! anyway i hope you had a great weekend, too! onto another raw week!

i'm packing everything up right now since i leave tomorrow on a 6 AM flight. i have been getting up earlier & earlier lately so it wont be a problem for me, but i feel bad for my mom who has to take me to the airport! i've had a great time in vermont but i'm SO ready to go back to my life in LA! i miss my cats and my friends!

i was having MAJOR cooked cravings today- maybe b/c i'm so cold and also b/c of my lack of variety in fruits? anyway, i resisted. i did probably eat too much raw fat though. heres what it was:

b: 2 bananas
s: 2 raw brazil nuts & 3 or so raw almonds, 2 raw energy bites
afternoon snacks: apple, banana, 2 raw energy bites, a handful of raw cashews, and another banana and a mango- from 12 noon to 4 PM
w/o: 45 mins. hill walking on the treadmill, abs & arms exercises
d: a raw brazil nut & 3 raw almonds, a huge salad w/ spinach, baby romaine, iceberg, red & yellow peppers, carrots, cukes, a huge tomato, half an avo, EVOO & balasmic vinegar
s: will be an apple

it adds up to about 1350 calories so its not too much food, but it is too much fat. at least i was able to resist cooked food though!

i feel AWESOME lately! my skin looks perfect, my hairdresser commented on how much healthier my hair is since she last saw me, i have tons of energy and almost never feel tired, and i feel ready to take on any challenges. its great! i am 100% certain that raw is the right path for me.

i'm thinking i;ll try a juice fast on fresh-squeezed oj for a few days, starting tomorrow afternoon. i don't have the $$ to buy groceries til payday on friday anyway, and i think i'm ready for it. we'll see! oranges sound soooooo good to me right now!

Meow, how do you make raw hummus?

hey optimist, this is my raw hummus recipe:

put in food processor:
2 peeled zucchines, diced
1/3 c. raw sesame tahini
a drizzle of EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)
1/4 c. lemon juice
3-4 garlic cloves depending on how garlicky you like it

then just blend until smooth. it's really good. you could add salt, different spices, sundried tomatoes etc. to make different tasting hummuses, but that is the basic recipe that i use.

i was on airplanes all day, which always leaves me feeling dehydrated & nauseous! not to mention i was up at 3:30 AM and didn't sleep much on the plane, and it's only 6:30 now but it feels like 9:30 b/c of the time difference! i'm actually not even that tired but i feel a little sick. my OJ fast has started! yay.

food today was 3 bananas, an apple, a lara bar, 4 raw energy bites, 1.5 raw brazil nuts, a cup of fresh-squeezed oj, and i'll have either another cup of OJ or a glass of organic red wine later. i pretty much snacked all day instead of having meals. i miss my nightly huge salad! but OJ is tasting great to me right now. plus i'm not very hungry tonight for some reason.

i got my babies back!!!!! they are settled back in at my place and are very happy

i wasn't hungry last night so i didn't have anything else. the wine would have been a bad idea since i was so dehydrated!

i don't feel like juice fasting. i wonder if i ever will...oh well.

b: 1 c. fresh-squeezed OJ
s: 4 raw cacao-goji energy bites
l: mango & banana (mangoes were on sale!!! this one wasn't very good though, but still better than eating only apples & bananas)
s: apple & banana
w/o: 45 min. power walk in the hills, abs (maybe arms too)
d: carrots & cauliflower w/ raw zucchini hummus- i am SO looking forward to this!
s: maybe a glass of organic red wine. i feel like it lately.

optimist, i'm sorry, i didn't see your raw thanksgiving meal suggestions or your question about how old i am til today! i don't know how that happened. anyway thank you for the suggestions! i have made raw ice cream before and i LOVE it, i think i'll make some this week! also, i'm 22 years old

i wanted to add that i am feeling FANTASTIC lately- yes it deserves all caps, that's how good i feel! my skin is perfect (i'm sure it won't last, i doubt i'm done detoxing, but right now it's awesome). i am still losing weight and those jeans i bought a size too small are SO close to fitting- i can button them but they're still too tight! i have so much energy and peace inside of me, too. i hear people complain about how tired they are and i feel sort of like i've transcended things like that. i always have this buzzing, peaceful kind of energy- not like i want to go out and run a marathon, but just like i'm happy when the new day dawns and i get to make it everything i want it to be. i think i'm doing this the right way and my body is reaching its potential because of it! i feel kind of floaty & content all the time. i don't even worry about the things that used to bother me, like stressing over money or what others think about me. i just feel very zen! i also don't get that starving, must-eat-now feeling that i used to get on cooked foods. my body seems incredibly balanced and i'm in tune with what it needs now.

that is all

Thanks, Meow. Your blog inspires me. I read it almost every day. You seem very on target and disciplined about eating raw.

I am very disciplined about exercise -- haven't taken a day off since my birthday a few weeks ago (and that was only because I had visitors, not because I couldn't get motivated). Now it is just a matter of sticking to a raw food plan as much as I do exercise. Keep up the good work, and thanks for the motivation!

Meow!

I sent you a personal message on Self so long ago about being raw, I dont know if you ever saw it. Then I was hopping around on these boards and saw you here too. Anyway, if you see my message I'm on here now...things are going great and I love being raw (I have been for about a month now minus a few Thansgiving slip-ups).

hey optimist & apple!

Optimist, listen to your body as far as sticking to raw foods. It will tell you when it's ready to increase your percentage of raw. I decreased my exercise when I went raw, b/c I felt it was the right thing to do, but I don't think you necessarily have to if you don't want to!

Apple, hi! I guess i never saw your pm! I'm sorry! I'm glad to see you're here now, there is a lot of support here and everyone is so positive & happy! Congrats on being raw for a month

I’ve been feeling absolutely wonderful lately. I am trying to put the feeling into words but I can’t really- it’s just bliss, total peace & contentment within myself, and a faith that I’m headed towards something great. A faith in the powers of the universe. I feel kind of spiritual without being at all religious. Maybe you other raw people know what I mean! It’s really amazing though, like the fog has lifted and I can finally see what’s been right in front of me for so long but I was blind to it.

My body is adapting to raw really well – I jumped out of bed again when my alarm went off this morning! I’m still finding I need less & less food. I was looking back on previous journal entries and was shocked at how much I used to think I needed to eat- I used to get much hungrier much more often when eating cooked & transitioning to raw. Now I feel balanced. When I get hungry, my body usually tells me specifically what it needs- tropical fruit, fat, greens, dense fruit, etc. All I have to do is listen! It’s really interesting and I feel like my mind is open to learning about myself and the world and taking everything in.

I found this quote online yesterday and really liked it:

You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.
-Vernon Howard

More people around here (LA) need to keep that in mind!

I’m not sure what my meals/food will be today but this is what I’m planning:

Morning: had a banana earlier, and will have 8-16 oz. OJ and another banana later
Lunch: 4 raw cacao-goji energy bites
*going for a walk on my lunch break*
Afternoon: apple & banana
Snack: probably some raw brazil nuts/almonds
*a powerwalk in the hills OR pilates…depending on if I need to burn some energy off or if I want to do something chill!*
Dinner: carrots & cauliflower w/ raw hummus

I also went for a 3-mile run last night instead of a powerwalk b/c I felt like running! It was a really great, fast run



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/28/2007 05:54PM by meow.

I like what you say about having faith in the universe (more detail about this on my blog). I need to get there quickly since I am very likely to be losing my job soon!

Sounds like you are doing great...it is very inspiring to read!

Apple, I'm sorry to hear about your job, that sounds stressful. But I believe that everything happens for a reason- perhaps this job isn't on the right path for you, and a better one is just around the corner?

Today is going to be a bust, I can already tell! I decided to give myself a day to eat what I want since I’ve been doing really well lately. I want to have some organic red wine tonight when I go out to my favorite organic vegan restaurant, and I also just really wanted some peanut butter, so after not having it for about 2 weeks, I had some this morning at work. I can’t lie, I DO feel guilty, but there is no reason to. I know this won’t lead to a downward spiral b/c I made the conscious choice to have cooked food, I had it, and that’s that! I had half a pbj sandwich, and I may have the other half later on. It’s so interesting how full cooked food makes me though! I've also noticed I've been eating cooked food once a week, on Thursday. Must be a psychological thing, huh? At least last week it was just veggies...lol.

Anyway I have much more interesting news- I am learning to see auras! It took a very long time of doing concentration & visual exercises last night to be able to get my vision to the place where it needs to be to see them, but finally I was able to do the exercises for the most part, so I tried seeing my aura. It was surprisingly easy. I’ve seen auras before, but only when I’ve been in altered states of mind due to drugs. This was cool b/c I was able to put myself in that state of mind w/o anything artificial. My aura turned out to be pale yellow, very bright, about 1 inch around my head/neck. It would grow brighter & dimmer. At times it got really really brignt, almost white or a bright golden color. It was interesting b/c last time I saw my aura it was this same yellow color, a bit more yellow though. Last time I had no idea what that meant, but I looked it up after I saw it a few times, and I learned that it means I am becoming aware of my spirituality & creativity and am open to new ideas and am thinking about the future in a positive way. I thought that was right on with the things I’ve been saying & thinking lately! Kind of cool, huh? So I want to try to see my friend’s aura later after we have dinner! I tried to see one of my cat’s auras, but she was lying against a checkered blanket and my eyes were SO tired (it was really mentally exhausting putting myself in that state), so I decided to wait for another day.

Food for today:

B: banana at home, half a pbj sandwich w/ extra half slice of whole wheat bread & pb at work
L: maybe another half a pbj sandwich and a mango, or just a banana and a mango
S: apple, maybe banana if hungry
D: going to my favorite restaurant- I’m getting their “living wrap,” which is 100% raw! A collard green wrap w/ veggies, sprouts, guacamole, red pepper sunflower seed spread; side salad w/ mixed greens & veggies and their “living” citrus herb dressing. 2 glasses organic red wine.

That would be the most I’ve eaten in weeks! I am getting really skinny though so it’s not like it could hurt, lol. Who knows, I may not be hungry for the other half a sandwich. I probably won’t eat the whole wrap either b/c I can’t eat much at night lately.

Back to normal tomorrow 

well the cooked food craving is out of my system! i've been eating fruit since then. just an apple & banana, i couldn't cut up the mango b/c i didn't want to ruin my nails- i painted them at work hehe. the cooked food gave me the same reaction as it did 2 weeks ago- my left arm & leg went kind of numb/felt like they were falling asleep or something weird. my head also felt spacey and dizzy like i might pass out! eek. not good. the cooked veggies had no effect on me, but bread and peanut butter are not optimal foods so i'm not surprised. eating the fruit helped.

oh i forgot to add that i jumped out of bed at 6 am this morning and did half an hour of abs pilates and some push-ups. i have SO much energy lately. in the beginning it was mostly mental energy, but it's turning into physical energy now as well. i feel really enlightened lately, like i can do and have anything i want as long as it's part of my true life path (ie, if i want a mercedes that's not something i really need to achieve my goas, so the universe is not going to drop a shiny new benz outside of my apartment lol). iiiinteresting...

i am so looking forward to my raw wrap and organic red wine later!!!

Hi Meow, thanks for the support on the job thing...I agree with you that it may just be time for me to do something new...

Also I love your attitude about your PB today. I have had a few cheats like that...a couple weeks ago at work I was starving and had no food so I ate a baked potato from the cafeteria. I didn't let myself feel guilty about it. I knew I would get right back to raw when I had food, lol...and I think it's pretty cool when your cheat is something like a potato or PB...not disgusting processed food like so many others eat.

PS...your wrap sounds so good! Wish there was more of a vegan/raw culture where I am...I have family from LA and San Diego and I love visiting because it is so much more health conscious there.

good morning apple! where are you living now? i agree that LA and socal in general has a great vegetarian/vegan/raw vegan subculture. i love it. i didn't realize how much i depend on the year-round farmer's markets, fresh-squeezed juices, and restaurants w/ delicious raw options til i was home last week and had to make do w/o all of that! also, good for you for choosing a potato when you had no raw food- foods that are unprocessed and close to the ground won't do much damage!

i feel like i am going through so many changes lately and getting to such a great place mentally, physically and spiritually. mentally, i feel unshakable. i am so happy and positive literally 99% of the time. every now and then a negative thought will enter my mind but it's very rare, and i can always catch myself and completely turn it around. i am also really and truly leaving materialism behind, instead of just WISHING i was leaving it behind and WANTING to leave it behind but still desiring material things. this is weird b/c i've never actually gotten to this place before! physically, i don't think i've ever looked better. the extra body fat that i didn't know i had is disappearing every day. i am pretty skinny but it's not a sick, unhealthy skinny. i no longer own a scale b/c they are evil my skin is glowing even though i think i'm still detoxing here & there. the whites of my eyes are pure white. my hair is so shiny people have been complimenting me on it! and i feel so much more confident. spiritually i am feel that i'm progressing by leaps & bounds. my crown chakra is OPEN so wide and all these new (for me) ideas and thoughts are flowing in and changing my way of seeing the world & my place in it. i think this is why i feel so peaceful lately, b/c i am putting my faith in the universe and learning to ask for what i want and actually receive it!

sooo...dinner last night was great, my raw wrap & salad was amazing and i have half the wrap for lunch today had 2 glasses of organic red wine, got pretty tipsy..ok pretty drunk.. i feel bad for the boy though, i know he likes me but i need to see where things go w/ my ex and am not interested in him. after dinner we went back to my place & i read his aura and we were looking up what his colors meant, and suddenly he goes, "where are we going?" and i knew what he meant but didn't want to answer! so i just asked, "you mean in life?" lol. of course i had to tell him that i am with someone else, things are going good w/ the ex, etc. he kept saying, "well, obviously we have chemistry together," which is weird b/c i don't feel it at all! and then he just repeated, "don't settle, don't ever settle," meaning don't stay w/ my ex and not explore other options. poor boy. it's not going to happen w/ him! lol.

anyway...i have A LOT of meditation & visualization that i want to do tonight. thankfully i have so much energy lately and don't need as much sleep so i can stay up late and do all of that. i feel like it's really helping to open my third eye and all that good stuff will post food later!

food today:

morning: 2 raw brazil nuts & 3 raw almonds; banana; glass of OJ; carrots, cucs & cauliflower w/ raw hummus (from 9 AM to 11 AM- was very hungry, as i always am after i drink the night before)
lunch: the rest of my raw collard green/guac/red pepper sunflower seed spread/veggie wrap from real food daily; a mango
afternoon: banana; apple; another raw brazil nut & 2 raw almonds
dinner: HUGE salad w/ tons of kale, spinach, mesclun greens & a little romaine, red peppers, carrots, zucchini, lots of beets (was craving them like mad!), cucs, cauliflower, tomatoes, balsamic vinaigrette and a tiny bit of ff balsamic dressing (from the WF salad bar except the ff dressing was mine)- OMG SO GOOD! - and half a chocolate coconut lara bar for "dessert"

what a delicious day. i was going to go for a run today but was feeling really nauseous & tired when i left work. so i came home, layed down for 10 mins., then my cat was whining for food so i got up, and when i got up i felt 100% better and energized, but really hungry! so i went to WF and got my salad

i feel so incredibly happy and full of life right now!

i'm about to start my meditation & then do visualization. i wonder, is it ok to listen to music while meditating? i am in such a bob dylan mood lately! i can't listen to anything else! i think that would be ok. i guess it's probably an individual thing. i'm a beginner to meditation so i don't know what i'm doing, but i definitely got into a trance and started lucid dreaming 2 nights ago while meditating! it was a very cool experience.

i think i am almost ready to cut out most nuts/seeds- i will still have them in my raw energy bites/lara bars, but i don't need to eat them plain anymore (at least this is what i'm leaning towards). i'm going to make an effort to cut down. it's easy to grab a handful if i'm really hungry and have no fruit in the house, etc., but i don't think they're doing anything good for me.

Hi Meow, thanks for your post! I wrote a REALLY long response if you are curious... I would love to hear your feedback!

It is fantastic to watch your progress and growth. You truly are an inspiration!