hi optimist! i will definitely check out your diary later today and respond!

i am waiting to put my laundry in the dryer in 8 minutes (lol) and then i'm off for a RUN!!! i finally feel like running again- haven't run since tuesday!- and it's so nice out. i also got new earbuds designed by Nike that will actually stay in my ears so i can listen to my ipod while running. yay!

today's been low-key...i was up late doing a lot of visualization and meditation last night. i really felt something w/ the meditation. i was focusing my energy on emotions that i felt (from me or elsewhere in the universe) at the present time, and i was overcome by a feeling of sorrow. very strange as i've been so happy lately. i started crying uncontrollably. i feel that i was picking up on the immense depression that is plaguing america & other parts of the world... people seem so depressed even when they have so much to be thankful for. anyway once i was ready to move on from that, i did a meditation exercise focusing on each chakra, feeling each one opening and responding to my environment & thoughts. that was cool. i can feel my crown chakra the most, for sure. then i did some visualization, asking the universe to help me connect with one person who i have a lot of feelings and respect for, and fell asleep thinking about that...woke up after an hour with lots of energy so i stayed up for a few more hours.

today:

late b: smoothie (finally!) w/ 2 bananas, strawberries, oj, frozen mango & blueberries
l: cashew cookie lara bar, banana
s: apple, a raw brazil nut & 2 raw almonds (trying to cut down on nuts but needed something else to much before my run)
w/o: 4 miles, abs & arms pilates/strength exercises
d: SALAD that i'm so excited for w/ kale, baby romaine, red and yellow pepper, carrots, huge tomato, cucs, sprouts, half an avo, raw apple cider vinegar
s: apple if needed (probably will need it)

i joined a 30 day raw challenge on rawfoodtalk.com- i just stumbled across that site yesterday and it's really great, i love all the green colors they use too, makes me feel peaceful & alive

i feel GREAT today! very happy and warm with the love of the universe. although i wish i felt physically warm, too...i am so cold lately!

i was quite the fruit monster today. good thing i loaded up on lots of produce at the farmer's market! it all looked soooo good...i only brought $20 b/c i'm trying to budget my money a little better since it's the holiday season, but i was still able to get 3 pints of strawberries, 2 lbs. of grapes, 2 persimmons, 2 lemons, tons & tons of greens, 4 zucchinis. not bad.

i'm also posting my food in 3 different places now! lol. here, the 30 day 100% raw challenge thread on rawfoodtalk.com, and in a blog that i just started! i will post the link to the blog later...i'm not sure yet if i want to keep it, since i already have my journal here i'd like to post pics on my blog but my friend broke my camera a while ago and i can't afford a new one! so we'll see...

food today:

b: smoothie w/ 2 bananas, oj, strawberries, frozen mango, frozen bberries
s: fruit salad w/ strawberries, grapes, half a persimmon (hadn't eaten persimmons before and they don't thrill me)
l: just a banana- not hungry
*powerwalked in the hills & around my neighborhood for 1.5 hours*
s: 2 raw cacao-goji energy bites; carrots & cucs w/ raw hummus; 1 raw brazil nut & 2 raw almonds
*abs pilates & arm strength exercises for 15-20 mins.*
d: big salad w/ kale, spinach, mesclun greens, red & yellow peppers, carrots, cucs, tomatoes, half an avo, raw ACV

i'll probably have an apple, too. i can't go a day w/o eating at least one apple!

i am proud of myself for only having 3 raw nuts today! that is a step in the right direction...

i feel like big changes are coming up. a lot of things have come into my mind that i can no longer ignore. i want a job i feel good about, helping animals &/or people. i want to live a much simpler, more fulfilling life. and then there's the situation w/ my...um...i don't even know what to call him. he's kind of an ex, but we never actually dated exclusively or even broke up. we just have this amazing chemistry and neither of us can really date anyone else b/c it's not the same. we've been on-again off-again for the past 5 years! we are very connected to each others' lives. he has some issues that prevent him from having a real relationship w/ me- fears, insecurities, etc. i only see him once or twice a month, and i really think i love him, so this isn't enough. in the past i just accepted it, but now i feel like i want something more from him and i'm confident enough to ask for it. i am focusing right now on meditating and trusting that i will be guided towards the right path in regards to all of these issues that have been bothering me.

Meow,

I admire how introspective you are being right now. I believe that happiness is often a choice and I can see that you are doing everything you can to live your most fulfilling life. I feel like the early 20s can be a hard time in one's life. I have struggled a bit since I graduated from college in 2006, but I feel like I am doing pretty well right now.

thanks, apple your words really mean a lot to me! i agree that happiness is more or less a choice. if you decide to be happy, you'll find a way to be. if you think your life is miserable, it will be!

i also graduated in 2006- last august (grad. early)- and it has been different, that's for sure. it takes a while to be able to see the right path for you. i'm still looking for it! but i think you can always tell in your heart if you're doing what's right for you or not. that little nagging feeling is just harder to ignore when you're eating 100% raw! it's weird how that happens!

i am pretty wiped today. i ate too much fat, too i felt SO GOOD yesterday eating about 20% of my calories from fat. today will probably be more like 35% fat. eek. i need to STOP with the lara bars. they are a waste of money b/c my body just doesn't use them for anything good. i have those raw energy bites, which are just like laras but smaller, and i plan on taking them with me to friends' places so they can help me eat them. eating nuts/seeds early in the day just makes me want to eat more fat all day long. today was:

-fruit salad w/ grapes, strawberries & a banana
-cashew cookie lara bar (bad choice- these just make me want to eat fat all day, as you will see...)
-apple & banana
-3 raw cacao-goji energy bites (like laras but small bite-sized pieces) and a banana
-cauliflower- was craving it allll day- and a few baby carrots w/ raw hummus
-i'm going to make a salad w/ spinach, kale, mixed greens, red & yellow peppers, tomatoes, cukes, cauliflower, sprouts, half an avo and raw ACV

that seems like a TON of food but i have to get over the fact that i need to eat when i'm hungry, even on the days i don't work out. i really wanted to get out of the office and take a walk for an hour today, but i almost never get to take a break when my bosses are in town. it was crazy busy. i feel kind of blah today. i hope it passes. no, i will MAKE it pass! i have so much to be thankful for, and am so lucky. one day where my emotions are kind of haywire is nothing- i am usually so happy! that's what matters most.

i have a french movie to watch tonight and i'm just going to relax

weeeellll... so much for my huge salad! i put everything together and then went to add the avo. the first one was pretty gross, it seemed to have come away from the skin and had some brown spots & weird stringy things. but i salvaged what i could since i spent a small fortune on organic avos, and mixed it into the salad. i took a few bites and it wasn't enough avo, so i opened the next one. same deal w/ the next one. again, i started putting the good parts on the salad, but the stringy things in this one kept getting in my way. i thought it was so weird, so i took a closer look, and they seemed kind of...hairy. i started getting really grossed out, but i needed to know what they were. so i sliced the avo open lenght-wise. there, in the middle of my avo, was a freaking hairy spider! oooooh my god i am shuddering as i type this. my avos are infested w/ baby tarantulas! lol they very well may be- they're from chile, they probably have them there!

needless to say, after supressing the urge to puke, i dumped my entire huge salad with TWO really good tomatoes into the trash. how sad. i am going to get a refund/exchange at trader joe's tomorrow, i think they'll understand.

still in all, i think it's better to have bugs in your produce every now & then than it is to be consuming chemicals and growth hormones every day! right?

but maaaan, i am really freaked out now! thank god i opened the second avo, otherwise i would have eaten spider leg bits *shudder*

so...smoothie for dinner it is! funny how that solves my problem of eating too much fat today

ugh i feel really sick now. i seriously doubt it has anything to do w/ the tarantual but i think my body is just asking for simple foods. i'm going to see how i do on only fruits & veggies for a while. mono-meals when i can- but you know i love my salads & smoothies! i'm just going to eat really simply and really light. i feel very heavy right now, for no good reason. i suppose i could be bloated from pms too. ugh.

i think i'll do OJ for breakfast- that seems to work really well. then i'll have apples & bananas & grapes & tomatoes during the day, and a salad at night w/ half an avocado. sounds good.

i've been really sleep this week. it sucks b/c just last week i was staying up late and leaping out of bed at 6 AM to do pilates! lol. what a difference a week can make. i'm listening to my body- which means it's time for some zzzzzz...

You are probably just reacting to changes of weather. I have no doubt that if you stick through this bought of illness, you will return to your energized and happy self! Good for you for staying raw even through an illness. Maybe you should try to drink some green lemonade. It has a ton of antioxidants and will probably clear your system out. Feel better!

thanks, optimist, i bet you're right about the changes in the weather causing me to feel yucky. everyone at work is sick right now!

today i've had fruit so far- don't want anything heavy.

morning: 12 oz. fresh-squeezed oj, banana, apple
lunch: apple & banana...will probably have another banana too
afternoon: grapes & either 2 tomatoes or a banana
dinner: salad w/ the usual

i went for a 50-min. walk on my lunch break- yay for actually taking a break today- and should do some pilates later, too.

i'm super excited to be doing 8-1-1. it feels right...i am such a fruit person anyway, it feels really natural and healthy to just reach for fruit when i'm hungry during the day. and then i'll usually have greens at night, with some fat.

i have been feeling SO full when i wake up in the morning. i wonder if i'm eating too heavy at night? i feel almost nauseous. this morning i had to wake up at 5:30 to be at work super early, and i felt so uncomfortable. i'm going to have a fruit smoothie for dinner tonight and see if that digests more easily. i had a salad w/ half an avo last night and i could feel it sitting in my stomach.

i have lots of bananas, apples, some fresh-squeezed oj, and grapes for today. i really hope to feel well enough to run later tonight- i've felt a little sick lately, like i''m coming down w/ something.

well...off to start my work day lol.

I hope you feel better!

What is 8-1-1?

thanks, optimist! 8-1-1 is a raw vegan diet where you try to eat 80% carbs (mostly in the form of sweet fruits with some greens, veggies, and non-sweet fruits like cucs & peppers), 10% of your calories from fats, and 10% from protein. i have tried this in the past but that was when i was anemic (i didn't know it at the time) and thought i had to eat more fat to have enough energy to work out and, um, stay awake :p anyway i keep coming back to this, so i decided to give it a try. i've been eating fruit all day, lots of bananas and apples, and i will usually eat veggies/salad at night with a little fat, like half an avo or a handful of nuts/seeds. you can read more about 811 at www.foodnsport.com. it's supposed to be really great for athletes or people who are active, too, which is another reason it appeals to me.

today was great and i feel totally better! work sucks lately but everyone is stressed, so they're all very snappy and my usually super nice boss has been pretty bitchy lately! i was tempted to call her on it when she told me to do something that i knew was completely wrong, after reprimanding me for trying to do it the right way, and then i ended up wasting my time doing it the wrong way, but i really saw no need for it. what do i have to prove to her? i only have to prove things to myself, right? and no good would come from sinking to her level and trying to make her feel as dumb as she tries to make me feel. it felt good, not needing to go back and say, "actually, i WAS right!" lol.

but aside from work, things are going well! today i ate:

-2 bananas
-1 c. fresh-squeezed oj
-apple
-2 bananas
-apple & banana
-lara bar
*ran 3 miles, did some abs pilates & push-ups*
-smoothie w/ 2 bananas, strawberries, frzn mango & blueberries, splash of oj (sooooo good)

that's 1421 calories and 83% carbs, 12% fat, 5% protein. not bad! if i'd eaten greens the protein would have been a bit higher. i was out of greens though and wanted a fruit smoothie anyway! tomorrow will probably have more veggies b/c that's what is sounding good to me now...

i'm off to chill for a bit! have a good raw night everyone!

i've been doing really well following 811 (or as close as i can, lol). i've just been so busy and stressed at work. my boss is absolutely horrible to me lately. she takes every opportunity to belittle me and make me feel stupid. i am trying really hard not to get upset about it- it's just very strange, b/c just a week ago we were friends, and we even did stuff together outside of work! and she totally turned on a dime and seems to want to make me feel bad about myself. i got very upset last night while i was driving home, but after thinking about it, i realized that i've known for a while that i don't want to stay at this job, so maybe this will give me the push that i need to start exploring other options in the nonprofit area, which is what i used to do before i moved to like the most expensive city ever, and what i hope to be able to do now that i have another year of job/admin experience under my belt. maybe if my boss is being so horrible, i won't feel guilty about leaving!

anyway...i am feeling really great about eating more fruit, less fat. yesterday i had a banana, 2 c. oj, an apple, some veggies (baby carrots, cucs, 2 plum tomatoes & cauliflower) w/ a little raw zucchini hummus, another banana, an apple & a banana, and a big huge salad w/ tons of romaine, red & yellow peppers, carrots, tomato & cauliflower w/ a little ACV for dressing. the salad was SO good, i could taste all the veggies as opposed to just masking their flavor with a dressing! i'm going to be eating lots of salad like that! oh and i was up late, so i had another banana. it came out to be about 1217 calories, and the macro breakdown was about 79/12/9, which is pretty good. i also powerwalked for 50 mins.

today i'm going to make a big fruit smoothie, like double my usual size. i just love those. i've had a banana so far, then i'll have the smoothie, then probably mroe fruit later on. i definitely want to get out for a run later, too. then tonight who knows...a salad and maybe some wine. i reeaaallly miss my boy, but i am trying not to contact him b/c he needs to learn to express himself if he wants to see me. sounds stupid but if you knew our situation it wouldn't! i really want to see him though oh well. i will stay strong!

Hi Meow,

Sorry to hear about your boss. I have been in that situation before and know how frustrating it can be. Anyway, I think you have a great attitude (as usual!) that this just might be the push you need.

I am slowly getting more towards 811 by cutting out fats. It is hard because I do feel like I need a little fat, and it is hard to keep that little from turning into a LOT. Also, I just discovered that the family I'm staying with has a blender which I'm so excited about. I absolutely love smoothies, even in cold weather! I am definitely going to be making a green smoothie in the near future.

Also, if you'd like to post your meals on my link "Committed to Raw" you are totally welcome. Optimist does that because we figured it was easier to combine ours so we dont have to keep clicking and writing 3 different posts to respond to people, But if you want to stay here I understand!

hey apple, thanks so much for the offer to post my meals on your thread! i would love to that will make it a lot easier for us to "stay in touch" lol.

it took me a while to get to the point where i feel comfortable going into 811 and it feels natural to me. i tried it a few months ago and it totally didn't work, i think b/c i was trying to force my body into it rather than go in the direction my body wanted to go in. i think if it's right for you, then you'll find yourself naturally wanting/eating less & less overt fats and more & more fruit!

welll... i had a great day today and now i'm off to post my meals in the committed to raw thread!

hey meow...how are ya girlie??? i hope all is well with yoU!!!!!! we need to hang out soon...i am only like 45 minutes from you!!! we will have to go to disney or something fun!!!! text me sometime...
love ya
sachelle
xoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo