That IS good news! And better news would be to hear that you definitely DO have it! I knew that there was a high possibility that she was considering you, and I've been feeling that you will have work coming your way soon...

YEA!!! The eveil seitan has been exiled and vanquished! Congratulations, dear!

Hey!!

Elakti, I have issues with certain cooked foods which I love and which I know are allergens -- they literally affect me like drugs -- the more I eat, the more I want. For me they are wheat and French fries, and I have been struggling hard with them the last few weeks, so I feel you! It pisses me off, too, the caving to the craving, then the GUILT!!! Good to hear you have been victorious over this particular battle. Quite the dramatic ending!!! You are now a raw food jedi!!

Good luck on the job prospect -- glad it wasn't a non-option. Working in a bead store would be fun!

Food Morning! Oh, that is supposed to be Good Morning, but I'll leave it that way, it is so a propos here!

I had smoothie with banana, Golden Delicious apple, 1/2 basket strawberries. (and of course, coffee)

Late start this am because I watched Olympics last night...the men's relay swim race was as exciting as a Kentucky Derby!

Friend and I are going to yoga, the 10:45 class. So I watered all the plants already. Our hot weather is here. I hope I don't have to look for a job in this weather, I will be grumpy as all get out.

I don't really like heat...so now I'm off to hot yoga!

We went swimming yesterday evening...NICE! Pool like warm bathtub, just perfect, not too warm....refreshing. I love water, being immersed in it.

Off to yoga, to be in stifling room and immersed in my own sweat!
Valencia oranges and fat mangoes will be here for post yoga replenishment.

Oh, last night I had toast with salad, made a salad samich. Oh dear. But, I have no guilt and I didn't feel bad...but, it is not something I want to permit...it will go skyrocketing out of control. My appetite was weird yesterday, and I got the bread from housemate. I so badly wanted something heavy and chewy...today I will try to eat more fruit, and just keep getting those real carbohydrates in body to ward off evil bandits at the pass.

Am almost finished with Snow Leopard.

Elakti,

Food morning - LOVELOVELOVE that!!! ;-) That will be my greeting tomorrow ...

> I don't really like heat...so now I'm off to hot yoga!

***shakes head and cracks up*** Gyrlll, I love you; you are so funny!

Oh, goodness, you just mentioned my Kriptonite: bread. Many moons ago I would make my own gluten-free loaves, until I made myself stop - even before going raw. Once I start eating bread, I can't stop. Seriously. I could sit and eat half a loaf easily, by itself. Give me a couple avocados, and I'll eat them and the whole loaf like nothing happened. Of course if I did that now...aaaccckkkk!!! Toast...can't think about toast!

I'm glad you didn't beat yourself up about having it, though; good for you!

Hope you had a blast in yoga class, and enjoy the rest of your day!

What a class.

What a class.

It wasn't too hot, very good temperature, probably about 105. Didn't have to struggle with the heat. Struggled with the yoga. And, too many days between classes!

This Bikram yoga is so challenging for me. Big big sigh.

I felt great for about an hour afterward, ate, took nap. It does me in.

I cried and cried...during standing poses....didn't even wait until floor asanas, during savasanna...just wanted to let go and sob and wail. Unfortunately, I "had" to try and control and not let others be aware of it, if I could help it. I think teacher knew, which is all right. Don't want to disrupt class and appear a curiosity. The tears hit several times during the hour and half.

It was a very good class. I am so tired though.

???

The tears?? Neurotic mind..."I can't do this", "I won't", "I quit", "I'm not good enough" "Is there something Wrong with my muscles?" "I can't do this."

Ate fruit aftewards, then salad with corn tortilla. I'm having dough frustration.

So much work to do. So much letting go to do.

I'm now on way to pool. I want to be in water. Oh, water water water. Let me just jump in with an "OMMMMMM".

Wonderful swim! I swam and did some diving and some floating (aquatic savasana) and general splashing and kicking and cavorting. Went in hot tub and let jets hit lower back and hip. Back in pool.

Home--ate a nice galia melon.

Before that, I started drinking water at regular intervals. I thought that maybe I am a little dehydrated which would be a big part of this tiredness.

Very tired. Food frustrated. Craving breads, cheese, pizza, enchiladas and the like. Cookies. Choolate. Oh dear.

Need to increase fruit carbohydrates. This feels like a struggle, too. Cravings are no fun. I don't really enjoy salads too much lately. I usually love them. So, I am aknowledging that I have to deal with this and be strong. Maybe get out the trusty Ehret books again! That usually snaps me to attention and gets me pointed in right direction with renewed gusto.

Vegetable juice would help alkalinize. I feel acidic (& recent body odor confirms that).

I do feel so relaxed! I am going to go read, now that I am full of galia melon. When I get hungry I will indulge in Valencias...they are still a big favorite, if not The Favorite.

Sounds like you had quite a day yesterday! I keep saying to myself how strong you are to keep up with your yoga, especially Bikram; my hat is off to you. The fact that you remain strong - and, yes, acknowledging your doubts / fears and (openly) crying are signs of strength! - encourages ME no end, and keeps me in your corner hell bent on cheering for you until I'm hoarse! ;}

I think too many people aren't making sure that they stay well-hydrated; I've been monitoring that for myself as well...

I overstand the "food frustration" feeling; been hitting me for the past couple of days, actually! I usually feel that way when I'm not eating enough, but most of the time it means that a "shift" in my eating is about to happen; last time this occured I started juicing - and eating olives - remember? This time I'm not entirely sure what will take place, but I know I'll be juicing a lot in the next few days - am feeling three - four times a day. I am also warning you to brace yourself for the sight of pigs flying: I did a couple things today that I SWORE I would NEVER do....

I actually touched a kiwi.

I actually DESIRED kiwi.

I actually BOUGHT, not one, or two, but TWELVE kiwi.

This is from a girl who gags even looking at or just thinking about the damned fuzzy things. These though were golden kiwi (found in an Asian market, more on that later), which are way less fuzzy hairy than the brown(er) blechhh looking ones. When the pigs actually START to fly, that means that I've actually partaken of the heretofore fruit-that-must-not-be-named and that maybe I even liked ***grimaces***it!!!

I've been through the love salad / "eehhh" salad / can't STAND salad / love salad again thing for a few times, now; just ride it out. Ask your body what it needs to draw from for this next period; mine usually answers back loud and clear! Right now I'd much rather drink the majority, if not all, of my greens, and a couple months ago just did fruit and a few veggies, no greens at all...

Having a weird time so far with getting enough fruit carbs in as well. What my heart is absolutely set on are mangoes, but I've been having a challenging time finding good, far less great ones, which is frustrating me no end. Tomorrow I'm going to go back to market to load up on bananas, which I'm getting the desire for a lot more again...

I envy your swimming and soaking . There's a pool here and I'm home alone for the next two days, but just the smell of the chemicals wafting from the water surface (which no-one else can smell, or is bothered by) are too much for me. I'll sun for a bit, though!

{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}} and love to you. I do so love and admire your spirit. It is good to know you, even this little bit ;-)

Smooches!!!!!

Thanks so much, Soraya, how delightful and encouraging and understanding you are!!!! It was a joy to find this post here for me. Yeah, yesterday was a day and a half...a good one though, but with those moments. (The yoga was so tough, and so revealing)

I really like the golden kiwis! I prefer them to the greenish ones. Just ignore their little sweaters, you don't have to eat them...they are so beautiful inside, like little kaleidoscopes (especially the badly dressed green ones). I love the flavor of the goldens...and it grows on you. They're actually milder and more subtle than the green, I think.

I opened a big big mango, but it wasn't ripe enough, so I patched it back up to sit.

Today's food so far:

smoothie Banana, plums, peaches, strawberries and celery.
post yoga: water water water.....banana....carrot, celery, apple juice....blended drink of romaine, apple, 1/2 cucumber, 2 sticks celery. This was very green and it was good taste and I drank it with relish. Also ate a tomato from garden. So, I feel hydrated and re-nourished with good things. The cucumber and celery really hit the spot, I'm sure, with their good minerals...and cooling ones (salts and whatever). My body and energy feel pretty good...much better, clearer and stronger than yesterday!

So! Yes, went to yoga again 10:45 class....it was GREAT! HARD! Super! I didn't know how I was going to do it, I still felt so tired and sore from yesterday. And, this is where part of the benefit of the heat comes in, it cooks you and you simmer in your own sweat and much increased malleability. I thought my friend wasn't going and I felt happy about that, but she called and I rose to the occasion. I worked very hard. Had a teacher that I haven't had for a while and he actually said "Good, Patricia" ...twice!!! I must admit I was very pleased to hear that. And I was able today to do a full "fixed firm" with back all the way down and arms behind head (floor pose...haven't been able to do it, but I remember doing it many years ago, so comfortable and relaxing). I was thrilled, it felt so so good I didn't want to come out of it. I even did an extra good sit-up after savasana as it was going to take me to second set of fixed firm.

That yoga is incredible. I think I need to do some everyday, I get into difficulty when I let too many days go by. Also, need to rehydrate and replenish cellular vitals, as the sweating is PROFUSE for 90 minutes. (and even beyond class, there is usually another major sweat out even 30 minutes afterwards, for me.)

My attitude is much better, body's response much stronger, and the "good, Patricia's" didn't hurt either.

I feel good I have had juice and the blended minerals. I want to dive into valencias later...and speaking of diving....I'm thinking of the pool. The chems are very light and do not bother me, thank goodness. Some chemicals do very much.

I also am craving an avocado. Later.

I did enjoy swimming very much in water in sunlight. Warm sun, refreshing breeze and all that refreshing water immersion. Then sat in hot tub also.


Came home very hungry so I ate valencias. Need more. Cut up remainder of watermelon and the canteloupe...it is on counter losing its coldness. I don't like cold fruit. Natural temperature.

I am so relaxed. Such better energy, and calm.

Will eat fruit, maybe also salad later...it's beginning to sound good.

Would like to go to bed early, if I can ignore the Olympics which is doubtful.

It also sounds so very good to get in bed early (soon!), read, go to sleep early.

Looking forward to yoga tomorrow. Today was much better at balancing struggle and effort with surrender and patience. The surrender and patience actually gives me a purer & stronger effort...very interesting, eh? I like it.

Yes, Soraya, me too. When I have problems with my food, it is so often connected to not eating enough, especially fruit. Cravings seem to come from insufficient fruit intake ("our" carbohydrates---then, I start craving the old pattern carbohydrate, old and deep. Then, add into that any emotional issue and it can get ugly! I even notice if I eat too much salad, that also throws off the balance. This is what D. Graham talks about. Seems right to me. I think our major biologic food IS fruit. Wish it weren't so expensive! )

Time for more valencias, as a matter of fact.

Just ate one of the most delicious canary melons EVER !!! OMG. SUBLIME.

What a way to top off a great day. I did Bikram yoga, swam, did gardening, took dog for long walk, and the experience of this canary melon as Dinner is all the 'proof' I need that this is my natural human food! I can hardly believe how delicious: I've been fed.

Have you had your canary melon today?

No! ***LOL***

I actually am not a melon person! I can do watermelon most often, and the very occasional cantalope but I won't even touch other kinds; though, at the rate at which I seem to be trying previously 'untouchable' foods that too may change! **Makes a face**

Doesn't it just make your day when you have a food experience that is that good?!?

Congrats on pushing through those yoga poses! You must've felt so proud of yourself!!! And the instructer's praise was extra sweet to your ears, I'm sure...

This seems to be a much needed time of rejuvenation and consolidation for you; I'm glad you have this time - not liking how it came about (!), but grateful that you are able to have this experience...

Have another wonderful day, beautiful you!!!

A ripe canary melon may change your mind! I have more for today...I was going to save it for after yoga. Our plans are changed from 10:45 class to the 4:30. I may eat the melon soon. I made a smoothie: banana, strawberries, peach,lettuce, cucumber, celery. Not bad. I like it. The cucumer celery was for yoga preparation. So, that's good, I have more time to get more in me, will make juice later. Looking forward to yoga!!

Yes, it is a pleasure to enjoy in extra measure some of this natural real food..sometimes it is mind blowing how perfect something tastes. I've gone through those taste/appetite changes, too... the first time I was raw I couldn't get enough mangoes and I actually moaned while I ate them. Now, my desire for mangoes is low and my fickle mind has changed to papayas. I love a ripe papaya.

Am going to get some chores done that I have been procrastinating. Hydrate well and juice and eat fruit. I did have salad last night....late, while watching olympics, and even had corn tortillas with....didn't feel so well afterwards, even had a slight pain in side for a very short time. If I had gotten in bed and read and slept I could have avoided that last meal. And, much too late to eat, but I am a work in progress.


Yes, it was nice to hear something positive from yoga teacher. I have a hard time with my attitude, wanting feedback (positive), recognition of hard effort at least, validation, etc ad nauseum. This frustration and self criticism and lack of patience, self-judgement, ego wanting to do better to show off, etc...I need to overcome this from the inside out. (Ha! There will be no showing off for a long time, and by then, this should be burned out of me, hopefully!!!)
(Ha! Who am I kidding?!) (Just voices in "The Crowd"!!!)

WE are going now, see which one wins....watch tv? meditate? garden? do procrastinated chore? .....LOL.... It's all good. I don't think there is any olympics on yet...that's all I would watch. Must do other things. @1 Priority is meditation.....even if for a few minutes...that's like trying to deck an elephant.

update: I did meditate. Good.

I did make vegetable juice: carrot, cucumber, celery, beet. Good.

I ate a salad...good...with tortillas...not so. Ah, well.

Lazy today, a bit tired. I am going to bed early tonight.

It is a wintry day, almost. Usually all the fans are on and I'm sweating...I put socks on and wore sweatshirt for awhile! Sullen weather and my mood is sinking. Now that I've eaten, I may try to nap before yoga. Not so much in mood for yoga now...felt great this morning, but now I would just like to go to sleep for several hours. I need some good sleep, starting well before midnight. Now would be a good time to begin. That principle of sleeping well, and not going to bed too late, and let's throw in not eating too late either, is a very good one, or three.

Yoga yesterday drained me, wiped me out. Went to 4:30 class, and it was hot and very very humid in room. Big class, lots of sweating people. And the day yesterday turned into mugginess, so it was like a sauna in the room. I worked as hard as I could. Had to stop a few times. Whew!!!!!

Came home, did not feed my dog, did not feed myself---lay down on bed, read last few pages of Snow Leopard, and then did not wake up til 10:30! I was so tired I could hardly read.

I am wondering about this. Yoga is supposed to give energy, and I do feel that sometimes. Especially right after the class I feel so clear and relaxed and really good. Sometimes the energy is good for hours, but usually I am too tired to do anything afterwards, just good-for-nothing. Why?

I did 3 days in row. First day was first class in week= wiped me out. Next day, better energy all day. Third day= yesterday, good-night!

My body feels tired, heavy. Muscles are heavy-ish, sinking feeling. With this, relaxed, but relaxed/sinking. Want to float or sleep.

Adjustment? I feel stronger, feel body changing...and maybe the adjustments are making me "tired".

OR......OR.....cigarettes and coffee do not mix well with this intense yoga.
I have a feeling this has much to do with it. On the one hand I am doing this superb thing for body and on other hand, I am doing the worst. Battle between noxious toxic smoke and BREATH; tension between caffeine and opening spine and helping out liver and spleen, etc etc...

I am wondering whether this is the reason. Seriously, I am wondering what is wrong with me, why I am having this reaction to the yoga. They keep stressing "You're never too old, ...." So, it's not that I'm 58. My friend also smokes, but I smoke more. She doesn't have these hit by a truck feelings after yoga. Everyone is different and has their own variables and so on.

I think I know what it is (above mentioned absurdity).
Drat!

Rawfood & yoga and coffee & cigarettes...how stubborn am I?

Probably the yoga does give me energy and oxygen and clarity and then I smoke and really feel the depressive toxic effects.
It's probably like eating raw food and then eating an ice cream sundae...the toxicity would throw me for a loop. Oh, man, I gotta quit smoking. #(@&&&$^%#

Energy update: Lots! I've been busy all day, have accomplished a lot. Also went swimming! Now, am drinking lemon water like crazy and soon off to yoga!

Have eaten more fruit, salad for lunch with avocado. Later, half a melon, green inside, good.

Beautiful day, so sunny and lovely with lots of birdies and piggies in the sky.

Ah, yoga class was great yesterday! I had had good energy all day, very busy with even energy and good mood. Class was good...first few minutes I felt resistance, but that left and I was working hard, staying present (when I feel resistance I am usually thinking ahead, as in dread).

And this morning I feel really quite good. My body feels better, my mood feels better. I hope we go this morning. This going every day is the best, the only way...everyday.

Bananas, a few grapes, peach, celery, butter lettuce smoothie. Earlier, I ate other half of whatever melon that was---nice. And the smoothie is delicious, too.

After yoga I ate fruit, later salad wraps in corn tortillas. These corn tortillas are still around. Otherwise, raw (except for coffee & cigarettes, oi veh). Those wraps are so good. It would be better if I used romaine leaves instead...I'll graduate one of these days. I used to only use romaine leaves for these wrapps (the tortillas tasted like paper). Unfortunately they taste good to me right now, too good. Ok, they're a little dink in my regime.

I hope I get to go to Bikram's torture chamber today! This yoga is nuts...so hateful and so wonderful!

Hello, Lovely! Had computer issues yesterday, so wan't able to pop in to check on you and say hello...

>I hope I get to go to Bikram's torture chamber today! This yoga is nuts...so hateful and so wonderful!

LOL...that's similar to how I felt about my (first complete) kettlebell workout this morning; torturous but oh SOOOO good!!! You are doing so well in your practice and being connected & aware of your body and deeper insights it's giving you...

Your friend isn't affected so much as you are by the yoga because she's not been through all the physical changes you've been going through due to your diet, I'm sure - but you know that...

Try not to sweat too much about the tortillas or the smoking - no, I'm not crazy!!! The more loopy you are about it, the more stressed out you'll be, blah, blah, blah. Just keep your awareness of the situation front and center, keep pressing through as you are, and I'm sure you'll be able to slay this monster in due course...does that make sense?

Keep up the good, hard work! ;} Hope your day is fantastic so far...

Yes, that makes sense. I feel I am headed in right direction.

Yoga this afternoon! Super. Hard, as always. Sweat like crazy, as usual. Only one set of Triangle, as usual. But, I do feel quite a difference in body during day, housework, gardening---when I have to bend and stoop and such, there is more strength and flexiblility--there is simply better integrity of basic movements. I also am waking up with more clarity, better energy.

Right now am feeling discomfort in right hip and right sciatic...need to lie down.

Will eat oranges. Later, salad: butter lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, eentsy beentsy bit of red onion, cucumbers----I'm sure wrapped up in tortillas. I think I'll snip some basil, too. Ok.

Ate well today. Had banana milk midmorning, with dates. Fruit, odds and ends. I'm running out of food, even oranges are down to scary dozen or so!

I've done yoga about 5 days in row. I feel more quiet and centered.

Wonderful, wonderful morning & day to you!

Yes, you are definitely headed in the right direction, and I continue to be proud of you! Isn't it amazing how much ease your body has gained as a result of all that "torture"? Doesn't it make it all worth it?

Hope you get a chance to top up on food soon; it gets really scary when you see the supplies winding down and you no longer have (enough) of what you're jonesing for...

So, so happy for you, and for having the priveledge of communicating with you. I definitely want to keep this up! Have an incredible day!

I feel like I woke up to a thousand dollars on my pillow. Too bad I use terms of money...but, let me tell you, I feel so wonderful and the point is that this is better than money. I feel FANTASTIC, better than I have felt in a long very long time. I feel big happy breaths, flinging arms up to sky, laughing for no reason GOOD! Wowie Zowie, raw foods and yoga= BINGO!!!!

So @#$%& last night after class, happily had lots oranges and got in bed to read. Bed early, no olympics and didn't care. Incredible sleep, incredible feeling this a.m. My body feels so different, even better than yesterday, and my mood too...everything----spine and mood and muscles and god knows what---is LIFTED.

Clear, clean feeling. Keep this up and the bad habits may die a natural organic death, transmuted by positive energy!

wowie zowie holey smoley
fruit and yoga guacamole!

We're feeling this together, then; isn't it great! Such a joy to be more and more centered, and more aware of...everything ;} Though I love how YOU expressed this! Have another LIFTED day!

Quiet day. Went to spiritual meeting this morning; afterwards we went to People's and I restocked on Valencias. I did not get any greens. I may fast. I got "sugar plums" and they are delicious, will finish all as they are ripe and I may fast. I bought three canary melons which will take a few days to ripen (since I may fast, you know). Also got some sharon or something like that melons. Never have had these before. They're cute, kind of small for melons and look like oval galias. One jumbo papaya. Apples. Bananas. White nectarines which my friend said have been tasty.

Had a wonderful mango this morning. Also kale salad.

I feel very indrawn. Very quiet inside. Did some puttering in garden. My neighbor friend went to zoo today with her relatives and I went over and did some swimming by myself.

Two days without yoga class, although I did some of the asanas last night, and I've done some stretching and the swimming today...but, I miss taking the class. And IF I do fast, I will go longer without a class. I'll see what develops. Now I do feel receptive to fasting for a few days, like at least 3 or 4. I feel like recalibrating. But will miss the yoga!

I LOVE that yoga!

Humnnn...I have the feeling that you want to go on a fast soon..?

Sounds like you had such a refreshing day...and I know that you enjoyed your solitary swim! What a cool neighbour to have, one that allows you to pop over to swim!

Honestly I don't know how I'd respond to not being able to do yoga for a few days now...I wouldn't feel right at all!

If you wouldn't mind sharing, I'd love to know what kind of spiritual meeting you attend; if you don't want to speak about it here you can always PM me if you like!

What kind of fasting are you thinking about doing? I have been doing the master cleanse and its not to bad of a fast. I have done a 11 day water fast but wanted something that still gave energy and found this one. It keeps the bowels moving which is a good thing on a fast. I am on day five and it is suggested to do it for at least 11 days. Good luck on your choices.
Pam

Yes, I did fast today---although I did squeeze a few oranges and diluted in water. Tomorrow I will try to just do water. Couldn't let go of the valencias! Also, the habit of eating is pressing! I am periodically "hungry" but it hasn't been that hard. It's boring. Now 7:00 and seem to be getting a slight dull headache.

Pampam---hi again! I remember you from a year or two or? ago. I started the MC once way back when, but after a couple days I couldn't stomach that saltwater and changed to only water. I don't, personally, agree with that anymore (the MC) I think the saltwater is too caustic and shouldn't be going through the system. I think water fasting is all the body needs and allows the body to be proactive and do what it needs to do, instead of having to spend that energy REACTING to the abrasiveness of the salt. The reaction is very impressive but I am afraid it is the result similar to taking laxatives or drugs...the body expelling the irritating salt as fast as possible.
I did dilute some orange juice today, but hope to just stay on water tomorrow. Just for a few days, if I can. Nice to hear from you...I wish you good results on the MC. Hope you're well.

Soraya---howdy. It is rather a bummer to interrupt the yoga I had going!
I am playing this by ear, nothing set in stone like I MUST fast so many days...just am having a 'look-see'. (Actually I would like to fast for several days, but am not sure if I can, so I don't want to say so!)

The spiritual path that follows me more than I follow it (since 17 years old, or maybe 16) is Radha Soami Teachings, or Sant Mat. There is a living spiritual Master, no money charged, no proselityzing. Very beautiful, very very simple, and very very very very impossible.

My throat is beginning to hurt and mouth feels weird, tongue is beginning to coat a little. And I sure would love to eat, just to eat. I mustn't think about it...as I tend to go back memory lane to the "old food"...ahhhh....and that makes me want to fast until that craving memory is gone, and I ONLY want real food...usually takes 3 days.

I feel weakish and sad. I would like to sleep my way through this day, but won't be able to. Maybe a nap or two, if I'm lucky. Feel blaaaahhhhh. Am reading or wandering about in the patio. I have plenty to read. Spiritual books, yoga books, fasting books, detective novel. I may hide the fruit bowls. There are some good looking nectarines ripening. Mmmmmm. I am also thinking very much about baby spinach. I would love to eat baby spinach and nectarines. This sounds like a delicious combination to me right now!

I am thirsty and can't seem to keep mouth and throat moist enough. Tongue is slightly coated. Bleeeech.

4:00, thought I'd pop in and see if Soraya is around.

Water water water. (I did have a couple swallows of coffee this morning, because it is such a habit and I am NOT going through caffeine w/d headache. A little while ago I had a couple swallows of tea, for same reason)

Water, water, water.

I feel okay, a little glum. Thinking about having to find work, a very depressing thought. I am weary. I feel "done". Yet, I am not done. So fricking depressing. I have had it with work, @#$%& jobs, the dull miserable grind, I hate working.

That sounds more negative than I feel...I mean, I do feel like that, but I am not dwelling on it overmuch and I know I will do it, eventually. Soon, actually. I must concentrate on spiritual issue and on health...that is where the foundation of my life must be, which will allow me the strength and fortitude to adjust to the daily life.

Even if I just fast for 3 days or 4, it will be helpful. I want to recalibrate my rawfood attitude and goals. I want to get rid of the tortillas, and I want to be closer to 100% raw, and work on 70-10-20, or 70-20-10? 20% fat. (10% fat is way too idealistic right now, maybe even 20 is) I'm hoping the few days fasting will help clear out desire for tortillas/bready items. I want to up my fruit intake. Continue with the yoga (this means a home practice/discipline), and continue trying to meditate. I need health and spiritual support, otherwise life is just too tough for me.

I feel pretty good, sometimes a little stomach grumbling (probably from the few swallows of tea). Tongue is a little coated, but not bad...not any big ole discomforts. Mood is a little depressed, I'm a little weakish and that's the extent of fasting symptoms for now. What is carrying me is the faith that this is a good healthful thing for me to do, even if it does mean sacrificing yoga for a few days. I took M. for a long walk. The ocean breeze felt nice.

Feel pretty good this morning, the easiest fast ever. Tongue is not even the usual "tundra", just lightly coated. No headache, nothing difficult. Maybe I should drink a little more water today. I have not been "trying" to drink water, just as needed. Will pay more attention to it today, thirst, desire to drink or not. What else can I do? Rest, read. I've been reading Ehret again. It is astounding what he learned. What a loss that he died so early in that freal accident. Also rereading some of the interviews in the P. Nison books.

Glad that you are having such a positive experience with your fast. The closest I've come to fasting in years was either juice for a day or a couple days of monoing...

Thanks for sharing aout your spiritual path; did a little research on it, and will do some more later. I like learning about different paths...

I've been adjusting my rawfood attitude as well - funny you hit on that! I find I'm becoming too rigid in my thinking again, and am becoming too anxious and uptight about how and what I eat. I want to "control" my diet (maybe not the best word to use there), not have it control me, you know what I mean?

I was off yesterday, so I was out running errands and buried under books for a few hours at the bookstore, so I wasn't online for very long yesterday...Took a day of rest from 'organised' exercise as well, though all the walking I did, including with grocery bags, certainly fulfilled any exercise quota anyway! ;} Yoga felt really good this morning...will you practice Bikram yoag at home, or another kind?

I think upping your fruit will help you with your cravings, etc, quite a bit; it sure saved my ass!!! You may have to make other adjustments as well; so far I've tweaked my eating habits regularly every couple of months or so. I am with you on needing good health and spiritual support in order to make life easier! That is so true... Rest, read - which I'm going to do now as well! - and stay on course! Continue to have a restful day...

Hey chickies.... I'm baaacckk!

California was amazing!!! I'm really jet lagged, though. Got to hang out with my kids and grandkids on Thursday, then Friday went to Concow where my friend survived the fire. Went to her still beautiful place -- the destruction ALL around it is incredible, and even more incredible is that it is still there. Fire burned all around it and parts of it. Her truck, 20 feet from her cabins, exploded, but the propane tank three feet from it was intact. Her garden was fine, as were her cabins. Truly a miracle!!! Then we went to the farm where we fell in love and had an amazing dinner with our friends -- farm fresh produce, not all raw, but very healthy. Saturday we hit the amazing Chico farmers' market, got some melons for the party, then went to my grandma's 90th birthday. Saw tons of relatives, discovered that my cousin in Hawaii now has an organic farm!!! Sounds like another vacation should be in the works!!! Then we went to a lake house that my brother's friend owns, boated, ate lotsa melons (& other stuff), then on Sunday went to Solfest -- a sustainable living festival which was wonderful. There were several raw vendors there, so eating raw that day was easy!!! Then on the way to my brother's to finally see my mother, we discovered that she had been hospitalized, so I ended up not seeing her at all because she was throwing up so bad that she didn't want to see anyone in case it was viral, which it was . Monday we went to San Francisco to meet a college buddy of David, had an amazing (not all raw but vegan) lunch, went to two beaches in S.F., then hung out at my bro's. We flew back yesterday and didn't get home until 2 a.m this morning. It was great to graze in the garden this morning and have my smoothie for breakfast!! It was also very hard to come home, because Cali is still really my home.

I'm very excited about getting my routine back, though it may be very different. I was asked by my boss to be the dining room manager at the restaurant from hell. It'll be good for the resume if nothing else. I'll keep you posted on that one -- I haven't given him an answer on that one yet, but I think I'll take it, provided he compensates me properly for the stress I'm sure to endure!!! Also, my brother wants me to join him in designing a series of wine labels. He is also becoming a wine broker (big shot!!), which is potentially a way for me to break into this arena more than I am (being in fine dining), which is cool because I love good wine. So we'll see what comes up.

Traveling always causes me to reevaluate my life, because when I get back, I feel like I have somewhat of a clean slate to work from. I'm looking forward to realigning my schedule with my real priorities and I'll keep you posted. Right now I'm so tired I'm not sure if I'm making sense, so this is probably a good time to go. Good to be back.