good job! have a great night's sleep or days' haha not sure which lol...you have quite the sleeping pattern lol i remember those days!!!
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

I'll probably read for a couple hours before I go to sleep. lol Want to finish the book I'm reading first.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

cool well enjoy the booK!
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hope all is well!! take care
love earthangel
xoxoxox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

One of James' friend came over yesterday morn' as we were figuring out the bills for tis and the next check. I told James I want to get a mini fridge to keep my food in so we're not fighting over the fridge space. I don' think he's too happy about it but, oh well. lol I will get my fridge, one way or another.

I went shopping yesterday. I bought 14 coconuts for $21.21. That should be enough for my smoothies 'til James gets paid again. I got gas and went home to put the coconuts in the fridge. Then I went to Old Soul and bought a bag of oranges. When I had checked their list online, the price was $2.99. When I got there, the list was different, and the price was $3.99. I told the guy about it, and he gave me the oranges for the price I saw online. = D Then I saw that he had blueberries, which weren't on the list online. I told him I might be back for a package of blueberries. hehe Then I went a different way from there to go to Ozark Natural Foods, and almost got lost. I don' know that part of town very well. I got to ONF, and they had blueberries (higher price than OS), raspberries, and blackberries. I just had to get one of each (minus the blueberries). I also got two zucchini, 14 bananas, and a bag of apples. Then I turned around, and saw green grapes and canteloupe!!! I just had to get me a bag of grapes and a canteloupe. I've been wanting those ever since I went raw. I'll probably buy more next time James gets paid but, I'm low on money already, and he just got paid Thursday. Stupid bills. lol Then I had to go back to OS to get the package of blueberries, and finally went home to put all my goodies away.

Yesterday, I made a strawberry smoothie (1 coconut, 6 strawberries, 2 frozen bananas). It came out thinner than it has been, and didn't make as much. Maybe 22 or 24 ounces. Then after all my running errands, I laid down on the couch to read a book, and ate the cherries I bought a week or two ago.

Just did my weekly weigh-in, and no loss again. = (

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

hey there...well good you got some yummy things..i wish i ould send you the cases of coocnuts i saw..they have a case of 9 of them for 5.99 at the store haha so cheap and good!!! i didn't get any but i wanted everyone who gets them to know herein san diego haha...
wow you need an extra fridge lol..well if you need it haha..
don't worry about the weight loss...when you get back to all raw and no cooked you will start to lose weight again..when you are eating cooked and raw it is al ittle harder to lose the weight...so just keep trying and keeping at it!
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxoo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Yesterday, I went back to ONF to get three tomatoes (to replace the ones I had to throw out), a jar of raw almond butter, and a loaf of sprouts 'n' seeds bread.

Yesterday's food:
30 ounce smoothie (1 young thai coconut, 2 frozen bananas, 6 strawberries)
Glass of fresh apple juice
2 almond butter and blackberry preserves sandwiches on sprouts 'n' seeds bread.

I made some apple popsicles yesterday. Haven't tried any yet. I also made my Husband a glass of orange/grapefruit juice to finally use the other half of the grapefruit I couldn't eat/drink.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

hey there..yay you are doing good!! that bread is a good transition food..although not 100% still a healthy alternative from other breads...so awesome job for yoU!!!!
now are you using blackberry preserves from the jar that are cooked and sugared up?? or are you smashing blackberries yourself for a fresh raw healthy jam??
well keep up the good work!! and hopefully those popsicles are yummY!! take care
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

I bought the squeeze bottle from one of the farmers markets a few weeks ago. Looking at the bottle label, I'm not sure if tis uncooked but, I can find out. The ingredients say blackberries, sugar, citric acid, and carrageenan. I guess tis not 100% raw with that stuff in it.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

hey there..yeah that is not raw it is def cooked and chemicals and sugar added from the ingredients..but you are doing better so that is awesome!! try smashing blackberries yourself and if you want a higher Sugar flavor..add a drop of stevia....and mix it up and use that!! but awesome job on getting some healthier bread..i wish they made raw bread that would be awesome haha..
oh well
love earthangel
xoxoxxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Hmmm, that's an idea. Unfortunately, those berries are expensive to buy. Maybe I can do that when I'm making money, or if we ever move to a house where I can grow stuff. (Not that I have a green thumb or anything. lol)

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

hmm well good luck hun!!! i know they are more expensive..but your health is priceless have a great day and good luck on the interview!! i hope you get an outfit to go to it in!! good luck
love earthangel
xoxoxoxox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Yesterday's food:
About 16 ounces of the smoothie I made (coconut, 10 green grapes, 2 frozen bananas)
Half a cantelope

Ok, well, I've had one interesting weekend so far. Friday, I applied for an Overnight Cashier job at Walgreens (drug store). Saturday late afternoon, the Walgreens Manager called and set up an interview for Sunday morn' at 9am. I just got back from the interview. It lasted about an hour, and I didn't even get to ask all my questions. lol Anyway, I need to go to the clinic tomorrow morn' at 8am, and take the drug test. If I pass the drug test (no brainer!), I have the job!

Pro's:
~~ Making money.
~~ Working.
~~ More walking (around the store).
~~ Be able to do a lot of the things I've been wanting to do but, never had the money for.
~~ Making $7.25 an hour, with possibility of making more if I train to develope pictures (Duh! Of course I will! = P)

Con's:
~~ Either four 10 hour days on, three days off (to start, 'til they get another Overnight Cashier); or EIGHT 10 hour days on, SIX days off.

I asked to start with the 4 on/3 off 'cause I haven't worked in over four and half years other than the two jobs that only lasted two months, or 7 days. The 7 day job, I walked in the middle of the 7th day 'cause the manager scheduled me for 9 straight, when he told me it would be 4 on/3 off when he interviewed/hired me. My body was not capable of working like that for the first time in so many years.

Five plus pro's versus only one con. I'll just figure out a way to deal with the pain. I NEED tis job in so many ways.

The manager (Phil) said they would get the drug test results in 1-2 days after I take it. Unfortunately, the clinic's closed today, or I would have done it now. lol So he should be calling me by Wednesday. Thursday at the latest.

Now that I'm wide awake, and didn't get much sleep last night. I might just not bother eating anything, and go back to sleep in a couple hours when James does. I'm not really hungry, just thirsty. My butterflies are doing too many somersaults and things in my stomach for me to even think about eating. LOL

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

I forgot to mention the apple popsicle I had in yesterday's food.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

hey there congrats on doing well at your interview!! glad to hear it!!!! keep up the good work hun have a wonderful little nap!
love earthangel
xoxoxoxox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Yesterday's food:
I ended up eating a whole cantelope yesterday. (That weird one we were talking about, EA.)

I did the drug test tis morn'...well, tis afternoon. I got there at 1018 tis morn', and tried the first time. I dropped the stupid cup in the toilet. = ( I had to sit there for TWO HOURS, drinking 11 of those little plastic cups of water just so I could go again. sigh When I finally could go again, I practically filled the entire cup, even though they only needed like 1/4 the cup. LOL

So I've been home from that for almost an hour. Already fought with James. I told him my first check from the new job tis already spent. I've been wanting to get a couple tattoos (first will be really small to make sure I can handle the pain -- low pain threshhold). He told me a couple months ago that I would have to pay for it myself. In other words, I'd have to be working and making money. Now that I finally have a job, he's bitching at me about me wanting to get my first tattoo with my first check. He said how he thought a car was more important. And right before all tis, he was saying how he'd buy the mini fridge (he's still insisting on him using the mini fridge), and a bunch of TV series DVD sets. I'm like, if a car's so important (the car has a lot of problems, we need a new one), then why doesn't HE wait to get all tis crap he's wanting so we can get a car, instead of making ME wait even longer to get one or two small things that he insisted I had to pay for in the first place. In the end, I told him there's the @#$%& door. sigh I so seriously do not need his negativity in my life anymore. I'm trying to get of all the toxins out of my body AND life. I just don' know what I'm going to do anymore.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

hey there hun...i know that you are having a hard time with james right now...but i agree with him in a way that spending your first check on tatoos is kinda crazy..considering all the things you wanted to make and keep a healthier lifestyle and didn't have the money for and always worried about the groceries and all that i am thinking spending the first check on tatoos might be crazy...but hey it is your money and your own decision to spend it so it doesn't matter..just he has a point that it seems a bit crazy....but have a wonderful day hun...
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

If my buying ONE bloody thing for myself for ONCE tis crazy, then him buying all tis crap for himself ALL THE TIME tis even worse. I'm supposed to sit back, let him walk all over me for the rest of my life, and let him have everything he wants, when he wants, with no if's and's or but's about it ? I'm sorry but, I don' think so. I've forfeited and sacrificed enough of the things I want or need for more than long enough 'cause it was always HIS money, and he always wanted something expensive. When we bought the 50 inch TV HE wanted a couple years ago (got without ever talking to me!), he agreed that I could get the next big purchase, which would have been rebuilding at least one of my computers but, noooo. I couldn't get my computer 'cause there's always something more important, and tis 99% of the time something HE can't live without! I'm sick and tired of him bitching at me every time I want something but, I'm supposed to just sit back and let him buy whatever the hell he wants whether we can afford it or not. And he doesn't even have to talk to me about it, let alone ask if we have the money in the budget for him to buy it! For ONCE, I want to splurg and get something for myself. Specially when he told me I had to pay for it, which I will be! I'M the one killing myself so *I* can buy something for MYSELF!

EA, please forgive me but, I think if you had been in my shoes for any length of time, I think you would understand more the situation I'm in. When you've been married to a man for five plus years that doesn't give a rat's arse about your feelings, wants, or needs, then we'll talk about what's crazy or not.

~~~~~~

Today's food:
Smoothie (1 young thai coconut, 2 frozen bananas)
2 almond butter and blackberry preserves sandwiches on sprouts 'n' seeds bread
Pretzel and nacho's at the movie theater (You wanted honesty, EA. There you have it.)

...

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

i didn't say i agree with and think what he is doing is right..i just said that in my view of the situation you are always saying you can't do this or that or buy this or that that you really really seem to want and need to be healthier and happier...and not that the first check is in talk...you aren't thinking of those things...like i said though it is your money and your choice...i don't think or agree with anything he is doing or saying..and also if you are KILLING yourself like you say to work..wouldn't you want to get healthier and happier and then maybe week 2 or 3 get the tattoos??? anyways....i don't understand the situation youre right...but if you are so unhappy and putting up with all that for 5 years then you def need to get out of that situation...
well hun i am not trying to be mean...i am just stating what i see
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

On that long list of things I haven't been able to get 'cause we haven't had the money was my tattoo. Getting it will be one of the things that does make me happier. The first one will remind me who I am. If I can stand the pain from it, the second one will remind me what I am.

Tis not even like the entire check will go to the one tattoo, either. Unless the hours in my first check are from the middle of a pay period or something. If I figured everything right, each full pay period check should be about $475. I've only checked with one of the tattoo places around here, and they said it would cost $120. I've been waiting 'til I had a way of making money before I go checking around with the other tattoo places to get an idea of what other places would charge.

It doesn't matter how long I wait, or how many checks I wait to get before I get the tattoo. As long as I have all tis weight on me, I'm going to be in severe pain. I just can't sit around the house for 6-9+ months waiting for the weight to come off without making any money. And I'm hoping that working, and walking around the store taking care of my duties, will help me to work off more of the weight than just eating the raw food. That's how I had lost like 70-80 lbs back in 2001. I was walking/running all over Wal-Mart all night, working my arse off doing everyone elses' job on top of mine. If I can get back to that kind of a "work-out", if you can call it that, then I should be doing better sooner. At least, that's my hope.

~~~~~~

I've decided that our financial situation will be taken care of with one of the following (whether he likes it or not):

~~ We pool our money together, pay all the bills, and then split the rest up for each of us to spend on food, gas, games, movies, whatever.
He brings home at least $1600 every month (more if he gets to keep overtime). I should be bringing home about $950 every month (if I figured my math right). Pool that together, and tis about $2550 every month. Our bills are only $800 (storage, rent, car insurance, bank fee, water, electric, cable). So that still leaves $1750 to split between us for each of us (~$875 each) to buy our own food, our own games, and whatever else we each want; and me to buy gas for the car when I need it.

OR

~~ I buy all my food, gas for the car, and any of the games or anything else I want from the money I make. He pays for all the bills, his food, and anything else that he wants from his checks.
He'd still have about $800 every month for his food and anything else. I'd have all the money I make -- ~$950 -- to buy my food , gas for the car, and anything else I want. It all pretty much equals out either way you look at it.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

well as long as you have a plan..that is all that counts and as long as it makes you happy..good for you...
that was what i was refering to trying to make your body healthier so you aren't in pain from moving it..by losing the weight and that is a great plan!! getting the exercise in there from work for now until you can handle working out full force again..sounds like you have it figured out...
glad you could work things out so that you guys have the bills paid and all the extra split between you two for food gym...whatever else
keep it up
love earthangel
xoxooxoxoxox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

I haven't discussed the way the finances will work with James yet. He's not good with numbers anyway, so it would probably just confuse and frustrate him more than he's already.

That's another thing I thought of since my last post: joining a gym. I figured I would wait 'til I lose at least another 50-70 lbs before doing that, though. And I can pay for that with the money from my job.

The other thing I've been thinking about tis all the flabby excess skin I might have after losing 120+ lbs (120's my first goal). I know James' insurance through his work won't cover plastic surgery to get rid of the excess skin 'cause that's just cosmetic. So that's one more thing I'd have to find a way to pay for. Either save the money from my job for however many years, or something. I don' know.

I'm looking forward to walking down the street, and heads turning for a different reason than they do now. I'm looking forward to being skinny for the first time in my life. And healthier, of course.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

well that is good to hear you being positive and thinking happy thoughts about the future and really getting into it!! good for you!! and if you have to you can take out a cosmetic loan they do offer those..and pay for it that way so you can pay it off over the years as you are happy and think and healthy..and not have to wait years to save it....
good job and keep it up
love earthangel
xoxoxoxxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Howlingmoon: I feel for you and your situation. It sounds as though you're getting a plan, which is good. What State do you live in? If it's Oregon and you're anywhere near Portland, my son owns a tattoo studio. It has an excellent reputation in the area. He's been in several tattoo magazines and a guest artist in other States. If you live in that area let me know and I will talk with him and I know he will give you a giant break for me. My heart breaks for your tense situation with James. You've only been married 5 years and your relationship is already suffering. Does his insurance cover wellness programs? Some insurances will pay for a gym if you go for 6 months to prove that you are serious. Concentrate on yourself and your health. Have you and James sat down when you're both in a non-confrontational mood to talk things out. I think James is "medicating" himself with buying things that he thinks will make him happy. It doesn't work that way -- it just snowballs and creates more problems. Just be glad he didn't turn to alcohol or drugs! Forgive me if I have overstepped my bounds. I feel so passionate about doing something about being so unhappy. You are in my prayers.

Joan

Well said Miss Joan i think that is exactly what might be going on!! good thoughts...yeah it is tough to watch someone be so unhappy which is why i get so worried and wanted to help her haha...
well hun take care
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Thank you very much for the reply, Miss Joan. = )

I live in NW Arkansas, so I'm a little too far from Portland to commute. Thank you for the offer, though. = )

We've been married since March 15, 2002. Three and half months after we were married, I totalled our first car (We were trying to find an IHOP of all places...). Three and half months after that, I lost my job at Wal-Mart (where we met and both worked). I haven't worked since, so finances have been very tight and has strained our relationship. Neither of us have been happy for so long.

I don' know if his insurance covers anything like that. Tis Wal-Mart insurance, and not the best. I will have to look into it.

We've talked so many times, and it seems to make things a little better for a short time but, then everything goes back to the way it was, or gets worse than it was before.

~~~~~~

I was out running errands tis morn', and came home to a message on my answering machine from Walgreens. They received my drug test results, and wanted to set up a start date. They wanted me to start today or tomorrow afternoon but, I'd been awake for 25+ hours at that point, so I agreed on starting tomorrow afternoon. I start training from 230-10pm CST.

I can't think of what else I want to post right now. Still trying to wake up, and get the cobwebs out of my head.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

Elkati: I liked your advice about eating what you LIKE and not what you THINK you should like. I've been eating kale but I'm not crazy about it. The same with collard greens. I'm trying to include them because I know they're good for you. In general I love most vegetables. I think I need to do more research and learn the ones that are most beneficial. Your post made me feel better. Thx!

Joan

I've found that fruits are easiest for me to like and eat. I've tried making salads and eating leafy greens. It just doesn't work for me. So most of the things I've been eating are fruits, with a few carrots, celery, cucumbers, and a couple other veggies thrown in here and there.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit

hey maybe you are going to be a fruitarian haha...cucumbers and celery are considered non sweet fruits along with avo's and some other things haha.i don't think carrots is one of them though haha...good job and keep up the good work..good luck at training that is great news for ya
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Fruitarian -- sounds good to me!

Yesterday's food:
Half cantelope
2 almond butter and blackberry preserves sandwiches on sprouts 'n' seeds bread

Today's going to be a very long day. I start my training in four hours, and I am already in so much pain from Monday's fiasco of trying to pee in the cup for drug test. Men have it so much easier than women when it comes to doing those. lol When I walk, I have to lock my knees or else my legs will buckle out from under me. Definitely not fun. And with them training me during the day, the store's bound to be busy, which means I'm gonna have to be walking much faster than I am capable of at the moment.

Howlingmoon "Moonie" Wolvespirit