LOL Thanks JU!! glad you forgive me for not being able to speak tonite!! so speak tommorow

Oooh the choccie pie came out lovely I will give it its close up in the morning when its set!! lol

xxx

Here we go

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doign good here sorry just beenso busy with work and the house lol

sheesh sometiems i feel like sucha @#$%& ! please forgive me if i dont post toomuch you are all in my heart at all times , i just have a HUGE year end to finish and my brothers taxes to get in (hes 5 years behind lol) and i jjust need to put more time into paperwork right now


rawdancer your creations look amazing .. and you seem so happy to make them, perhaps its a new calling for you

Julie how are things going for you


im having my usual emotional ups and downs and just dealing with them as best as can be

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist




Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/17/2007 09:07PM by Jgunn.

I am feeling more and more that way Jodi, I am happy in the kitchen making beautiful raw things.. wheras I want to cry at my desk!!.. I dont know even where to start here with raw cooking..or anything.. stumped..maybe approach the local vegan restaurant??

I dunno

Jodi we totally understand you have a paper due, sending you love

I made cashew milk last night, its in the same album om om..with coconut oil..then I made raw chocolate milk..it was awesome!

Love

xxxx

I finally figured out how to add pictures!! woohoo.. have put all my weekends uncooking into the main food thread.

Heres my shopping

Pomegranates and sharon fruit

Mangoes and avo

I am a bit excited..can you tell?!?! lol

haha.. hyper tonight..

Anyway I had two massive salads today

Local Norfolk lettuce
Vine tomatoes
Sundried tomatoes(raw)
Avo (in the second one)

om om feelin raw-kin!!!

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Raw since March 2007

http://rawveganlondoner.blogspot.com/

errr.. I got peckish

ooo just made my first raw brownie

It was

3 banana's blitzed

300g cashews pulsed three times- not too fine

stirred in by hand the following

1 scoop coconut oil

Raw cocoa about 2 rough tablespoons

Agave to taste

Dehydrate for 3-4 hours until firm yet spongey

may i ask you a few questions about your ED? how long have you had it? and how old are you?

Just checking in

Hope you are both okay Ju and Jodi?? You are both are both on my mind

Did well again today, had three solid meals..feeling good.. was getting a bit of blood again yesterday buts its fine again now thankfully

Taking stuff to work again tommorow, everyone loved it today!!.. so excited

Gives me such joy making things..even if I dont actually eat any or much myself!!

Packed my fruity looty!! for tommorow

Blueberries
Sharon fruit
Local apples
Oranges

om om..gonna have a desk feast!! lol

Anyways you can check my bloggy for boring rants/food lists lol

Love as always

xxxx

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Raw since March 2007

http://rawveganlondoner.blogspot.com/

In answer to itchy

Am 22

Have had ana since I was 5

Reovering with help from raw foods, finally feel free from it -- so rawk on

Had an awesome day..will check back later

Sorry not been about here for while So So busy!!!! Not stopped lately.

How are you Jodi? hope those emotional upsets have subsided for you lol?

I am so made up for you rawdancer you have come suh a long way, really proud of you! you are an inspiration babes! you are actually keeping me motivated, so keep up all those scrummy creations!

I have just found out that I still have candidia, which has been getting me down of late, so need to cut out all those lovely dreid fruits, & also found out my oestrogen levels are to high, dramatic dietry changes for me! I really hate change O.C.D kicking in!

Hope everyone else is well?

Love always Ju XXXXX

"So, if you've EVER struggled with an eating disorder, in my opinion, you need to be very careful and honest with yourself while embarking on any "extreme" diet."

Jodi, thank you for saying these words...
it's the exact thing I worry about with myself.
I have a long long history of anorexia, including extensive hospitalization.
I have been relatively stable for the past 2 years, but recently lost some weight and have found myself with some more intrusive thoughts.
My 'diet' has always been 85-90% raw...before I even knew that's what it was. Hot food is scary to me.
I'm finding that I'm having a difficult time unravelling:
1. what my REAL likes/dislikes are
2. are my reasons for choosing certain foods out of self-nurturing or fear?
3. am I afraid of going 100% raw because I'm afraid of the nuts, avocado, etc...even though I INTELLECTUALLY understand the amazing benefits of those foods, they still scare me.
4. what is my 'healthy voice' and what is my 'disordered voice'? I find that the 'disordered voice' is sneaky and tries to mask anorexic thoughts in the words of health.

My other concern is that because of cycling through so many periods of relapse and recovery, I'm hypermetabolic. I worry that I will not get enough calories in and end up really sick again. I feel like obsessing over calories 'taints' the idea of being really healthy and nurturing towards myself, but I don't have hunger cues that match my body's needs.


That was a lot.

Wow, artwings - I feel like I could have written your last post! Long-lost twins, perhaps? I've had anorexia since the age of 12; I just turned 23. I was just released from a 2 1/2 week hospital stay, during which I was on a 24/7 naso-gastric tubefeed and IV...I was put there against my will, and now I'm back to raw with a vengeance. I couldn't wait to cleanse my system of the "nutrition" that had been pumped into me (Resource, which is basically corn syrup and canola oil). I'm so conflicted because while I know that any sort of "diet" is not good for me mentally, raw food is what I crave and it's what makes me feel best. So all the questions you mentioned are EXACTLY what I'm asking myself right now. And I, too, have a very high metabolic rate; a huge part of why I ended up sick again was due to simply not taking in enough calories. PM me if you like; I'd love to chat and keep each other accountable .

Wow, this forum has gone kind of dead!

*bump*

So I'm heading to Mirasol at the beginning of February. Hopefully treatment won't be such a disaster this time around. This place sounds nice: organic local food, yoga, naturopathy, aromatherapy...much more of a holistic approach than everywhere else I've been. Not raw, but a hell of a lot better than hospital food. I need to remember that raw will always be waiting for me, and once I kick this beast it'll be that much more enjoyable.

Who was it on this board that went to Mirasol? If I can find you, you'll be hearing from me!

I'm new to this forum...Enchantress, are we the only ones here?

Hi everyone! Your right enchantress, this forum has gone dead unfortuntly. i feel bad i havnt been on in so long, how is everyone doing?

Enchantress~ i am the one that went to mirasol. it was a good experience. the foods not raw but its definitly healthy and they honor veganism. im happy for you that you decided to go. you can beat this!! let me know if you have any questions.

Hey Homie Girl,

I don't know about you, but I get sick any time I eat without chewing. I mean- really chewing. The other thing you might wanna do is see a yogatherapist. They can help you -potentially in kundalini- with your trauma. That's no easy task, nor a light suggestion.

peace to you

Hey hey everyone,

Just wondering how everyone on this thread is doing. Especially you, rawdanceruk. I've seen some of your recent posts on the general forum, and you sound so much more happy and balanced! If I'm correct on this, then congratulations! I remember when eating anything at all was difficult, so it's great that you seem to be enjoying food again.

As for me, I personally feel that I'm doing quite well - I'm INSPIRED again, looking forward to things again, feeling the creative juices flowing, and seeing a future for myself; and I'm also feeling much more in tune with my body. Unfortunately, my parents don't see all this - all they see is that I'm not gaining weight and that I'm "only" eating a green smoothie for dinner. Well (and here comes a rant), I'm SORRY that they don't @#$%& know what feeling good feels like because they eat @#$%& disguised as healthy food (dairy, loads of grains, etc.) and they think that being bloated after a meal is just what happens when we eat and that sitting around watching reality TV all evening until bedtime because they're too tired to do anything else is a normal healthy thing! I'm SORRY that they're okay with not growing and changing and discovering! I'm SORRY that they're content with feeling just okay when it's possible to feel AMAZING! They see me flitting around every day, excitably rambling about all the inspiration I'm having and all the projects I'm doing and how fruit just makes me feel SO GOOD, and they interpret it as "manic." They hear me talk about meeting with my raw food friends, Ayurvedic coaches, naturopaths, yoga instructors, all of whom are incredibly helpful and inspiring to me, and they dismiss it all as "obsessive." I realize that they're just concerned, and that it's hard to know where to draw the line between health and obsession, and that as my parents they can't help wanting to "save" me, but THEY JUST DON'T GET IT! I want them to just let me be. I want to move out, continue materializing this life I'm envisioning for myself, while they want me to go into some @#$%& hospital where they'll shove a tube down my nose that will pump a corn-syrup-and-oil solution into my gut to put weight on me that will just come off as soon as I'm free because I'll feel like such @#$%&. I just want them to let me be! Agree to disagree, you know?

I'm sorry. That was very self-centered and longer than I intended. I needed to vent, I think! Anyway, that's my life right now. My main goal is to catch my physical body up with my brain, gain some weight - materialize my inspiration, if you will - so that my parents can chill out a little. I look forward to hearing what the rest of you are up to!

~the enchantress

<peeks head in>

Hey everyone. I'm a little reluctant to post in here because I've never been given a professional diagnosis of an eating disorder, or experienced any severe consequences (hospitalization, psychiatric treatment, etc) that I typically associate with bona fide eating disorders.

However, after examining some of my past (and, especially, recent) interactions with food, I think I may have Binge Eating Disorder. This was manifest 2 years ago when I lived with a friend and would often eat tons of candy from the vending machine downstairs when he was away for the weekend. And, more often, last year when I was living alone and, even more, in the past few months (I am currently living in a room in a private home). Without getting into all the details, I've seen the characteristics of BED, and I seem to fit the bill.

In a way, I'm pleased that I've come to this realization; it will give me a rock-solid reason for stopping my current behavior (eating like I have been is no longer a matter of poor judgment, but a very serious problem). Also, it will give me the motivation to start (and continue) the raw food regime that I've established for myself, because I've felt no desire to binge on that regime.

I guess this will be my cross to bear.

This is a great post. Is anyone still around? I am a guy dealing with an anorexic/orthorexic flare-up and wanted to check in with other recovery ano raw-fooders...

I'm still here! Not 100% raw anymore but still lurking around these forums. I am dueling with the ortho/anorexia dragon...this is a relapse for me as well. I desire to be more raw, but I'm scared to put any more limitations on my diet, partly because I'm not sure if the motivation to be raw is coming from an ED'd place or a healthy one. All I know is I'm craving complex carbs like legumes and quinoa, so I've been allowing myself to eat 1-2 servings of them a day. Anyway, food is only getting more stressful and nothing feels "safe" anymore...Where are you at, QFP? And I concur...is anybody else out there?

hehe yep still hear just been terribly busy enjoying the nice weather .. getting ready now to cocoon for winter

keep up the fight enchantress as long as you are trying .. you are winning

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Hi Enchantress -

sorry for the delay. Some days good...some bad. I have successfully gained about 10 lbs on raw in the last 6 months. Mixed feelings about it. One thing I learned this week is I can't compare myself to anyone else as far as what is the "right" thing to eat. Striving to gain another 10 pounds to get back to a healthy weight. Still doing 100% raw.

Speaking of eating disorders, I think I was suffering from a bit of one myself. My anxiety and subsequent eating in the evening (not always, but often enough) was related to feeling blocked and unable to move forward creatively as a musician and artist, and stuffing down my feelings of inadequacy around those issues. I tried every dietary strategy known to raw foodists, with less than satisfactory success. I've recently had a big breakthrough in my ability to use and enjoy my musical and artistic talents, and so I'm not surprised that suddenly yesterday I was able to juice fast all day (I had two glasses of carrot/apple/ginger juice) and stop eating at 4pm and dry fast without too much mental resistance. Too early to tell, but I'm feeling very optimistic!

Sharrhan:


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Day 3 of juice fasting till 4 and dry fasting till morning. My hunger and cravings have plummeted, so I'm beginning to really be convinced that it was 90% emotional stuff that was driving my need to overeat in the evening.

Sharrhan:


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