Well, I am back to square one, again.
I am trying to figure out where this pattern comes from. It is on-going and if I don't do something about it, this is going to happen for the rest of my life.

I did quite well all of last week sticking to eating raw. However, I did have a few pieces of Halloween candy.

I didn't consider this to be terrible, however, since I was sticking to raw eating really well throughout the week.

But...Friday came and it just went downhill from there.

I went swimming Friday morning. Then I met up with a friend for lunch at the Cheesecake factory, where I am happy to say that I ate a big, raw salad.
Friday night my roommates had shabbat dinner. I feel pretty good about how I ate there as well. I made a huge salad with sprouts and I mostly ate that. My roommate had also made a delicious and healthy lentil soup, so I had some of that.

I went to a party after and had some slices of apples.
Overall, I felt good about Friday.

Saturday I also felt good -- walked to and from school (30 min each way). Breakfast I had a box of berries. Lunch I had leftover salad from the night before. I went out to dinner with friends to an Italian restaurant. It took me about 5 minutes, but I managed to order a big salad with only vegetables for my dinner. I put lemon juice and olive oil on it.
Then...here is where it gets bad. I had a piece of bread, and some of my friend's pasta.
Then...later that night I went to a party where there was a piƱata. I ate chocolate. And when I went home I had MORE PASTA! At midnight! That is probably the worst thing that I could do if I want to lose weight.

So, today I am back on track. Swam a mile and walked to school. I had a box of berries for breakfast and for lunch/dinner I ate a salad and some almonds.

My friend sent me a photo from last night. I compared it to a photo of my going-away party in Geneva at the end of August. I think I was much thinner then. I have managed to put weight back on, despite my obsessive thoughts about food and weight.

So, this is my pattern. Start off strong Monday eating really raw and healthy...do well throughout the week...by about Thursday or Friday I become more lax (eating some cooked food, chocolate, etc.)... now a piece of chocolate here or there wouldn't be the end of me if that is where it ended. However, once I start eating badly on Thursday, I hit a downward spiral that continues through Friday and Saturday (only at night, mind you I still eat really well during the day and exercise)...then on Sunday I feel bad about it, eat really well. Monday starts off strong, and the whole cycle continues.

Now, looking at the contrast between photos of myself when I was in Geneva and photos of myself now, I am trying to think of what I was doing right in Geneva that I am not doing right now.
I think these are the keys:
1. in Geneva I hardly ever ate at night
2. on the weekends, I was out hiking and biking instead of sitting in the law library
3. i didn't have junk food and chocolate all around me the way that I do now that I am back in law school.

I am truly quite depressed about this cycle, and feeling disappointed with myself that I put weight back on that I worked so hard to lose in Geneva.

I think the key is to NEVER fall off the wagon. If I eat a Hershey's kiss on Thursday, then I am a goner for the rest of the weekend.

Has anyone else ever experienced this type of pattern? What have you done to get yourself out of it?

This whole evening I have been sipping green tea and water. I think I need to focus on drinking green tea and water, and remind myself how much better I feel when I eat well, and how much better I look when I eat raw.

I wish I could give you some advice. All I can say is, I feel your pain. Ive pretty much been doing all summer what you just described.

Hey there! I'm pretty new to all this, & I'm only going to state what my intuition has told me so far... & that is: Don't eat raw for weight loss or you'll fall off the wagon. I've dealt with compulsive overeating for many years, & I'm not going to berate myself if I eat a whole lotta food. But I have noticed myself eating less anyway (since processed & cooked foods happen to be addictive). Nevertheless, I'm doing this with several goals in mind, the least being weight loss (although I have lost quite a bit of weight since I started). And it really seems to help to come at it from this angle! Maybe it also helps that I have been a vegetarian for ten years before this, & that it's been mostly organic, non-cr@p food anyway. But in the last two weeks of being raw, whether I've seen Halloween chocolates or a nice healthy piece of tofu, I've been turned off to them in favor of my yummy raw foods. I know the tofu is gonna make me feel heavy & yucky... & not guilt-wise either! Literally! I've felt toxic for so long now, I'm just happy to be eating good food that makes me feel good too. I'm hoping I can keep this sentiment throughout my aunt's birthday party at an Italian restaurant in two weeks, & at Thanksgiving, & all throughout the holidays! Good luck to you!