oh, I also wanted to write about shabbat dinner for tomorrow. I will be going to a rabbi's house who keeps kosher, so I won't be able to bring food.

I think this will, in some ways, be more challenging than last week and, in some ways, less.
More challenging: I don't know if there will be anything for me to eat. I think I'll try to eat a mostly full dinner before I go (i.e. big salad) so that I won't feel hungry. I'll eat whatever raw they have & try to fit in.

Less challenging: I think there will be many more people there so I can "blend in" more.

I'll keep you updated.

Danielle - good job taking the day off and I hope you feel better soon!

Becky - sometimes I have days where I am not hungry at all and I don't understand them. They are easier to deal with than the days where I am ravenous though, lol.

So today I went for a 3 hour bike ride in the morning with a group. It was so fun but unfortunately when I came back I felt like I "needed" something more than fruit or salad and had some steamed veggies with tofu. Soy is definitely not the best thing for me! Oh well, I figured that it wasn't too many calories and I am still around 75% raw today:

B: 3 bananas and a raw energy bar that I bought from the raw restaurant
Workout: 3 hour mountain bike! I ate another raw energy bar during that
L: Veggies and tofu, pineapple and kiwi
Snack: Oranges and raisins
Dinner: about to make a salad with organic mixed greens, tomatoes, avocado, sea salt, and raw ACV

Ok so I also have some social challenges coming up...I just got invited to go away for the weekend to one of the national parks here with a girl I am just getting to know. I said yes because it is supposed to be very nice and I am excited to see more of Thailand. Unfortunately I am feeling anxiety now about how I can be raw during this time. I plan to bring a generous amount of fruit with me for the trip, but I am concerned about her commenting on my eating since we are going to spend the whole weekend together. I guess I'll just have to suck it up and say that I am a raw vegan...I am just going to try and not make a big deal out of it and hopefully she will be cool - if she isn't, that is her problem!

Amy: I am so happy to hear that you are getting out, being active, and enjoying all of the beauty that Thailand has to offer.

No worries at all about the cooked food and tofu -- sounds like you needed it and it was really healthy!

I know what you mean about feeling anxiety around upcoming social events. However, being a raw foodist should give us joy, not anxiety. I have been trying to figure out ways not to be anxious in social situations as well. I like to think of myself as a pioneer for the raw food movement. I bet 50 years ago just regular cooked food vegetarians felt the way that we are feeling now. Since it was so unique, I bet they got a lot of flack for not eating meat. Just as they paved the way for us to be feel comfortable being vegetarian (which is now so mainstream that nobody even bats an eye), we can pave the way for the raw food movement. I try to think of social situations as opportunities to educate people about the benefits of incorporating more raw foods into their diets (even if they don't want to be raw foodists). I definitely still worry about it a bit though.

Maybe tell your friend beforehand, and ask if she would like to come up with a food plan together before you leave. Also, this could be a time that you might want to be a bit flexible. Just my two cents. Try not to focus on the food thing too much though -- the trip sounds amazing! Take lots of photos!

I have been feeling so not hungry lately. I have just been eating because it is time to do so and I feel like I should. Maybe my body is simply getting all of the nutrients it needs from less food?

So far today I have had:
-smoothie (2 bananas, 4 tbsp of raw hemp protein powder, 1c raw almond milk)
-salad (mixed greens, carrots, celery, yellow pepper, cherry tomatoes, sprouted chick peas, olives with raw ACV)

I am going swimming in about an hour. Then right after that I have a shabbat dinner to go to. I'll eat a Lara bar and apple right after I go swimming and before I go to dinner so I won't feel hungry. Then at dinner I plan to just hoard the salad (just kidding-sorta), drink wine, and avoid the cooked food at all costs. Hopefully I'll be able to blend in ok!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/08/2008 09:22PM by optimist4life.

Amy: I am 99% sure that your new friend will not have any problem with you being a raw vegan! People don't make friends based on how the other person eats, do they? And it's not going to effect her life. I've found that the (few) people who have a problem w/ me being a raw vegan are the ones who have their own issues and are using my eating habits to make some sort of statement about themselves. It's almost never actually about YOU! Anyway, don't stress about it, don't make it an issue, and it won't be one!

Becky, good luck w/ the Shabbat dinner! Great idea to have a lara bar first and then eat salad there. That'll take the edge off your hunger so you can stick with salad without feeling deprived.

You girls have more social dinners/meals than I do, and I admire you for being able to stay raw for most of them! I don't have to deal with those things too often.

I am apparently still sick. I was fine all morning- even had some bananas and raw almond butter for breakfast b/c I was actually hungry. Then I tried to eat some salad for lunch, got really sick, and ended up puking. At work! Gross! So that's probably it for me for the day...no gym either, obviously. Ugh, it's one thing after another!

I need to get better b/c it's a good friend's birthday tomorrow night (Adam, that guy who wants to date me) and he's been really supportive of me lately and I want to make it out to his party! It's at a really fun bar in Hollywood, too, and I made plans to meet up with some friends beforehand. I haven't felt well enough to have a night out in 3 weeks...so I am really looking forward to tomorrow! Need to rest and get better!

Hi Ladies:
Quick check in before bed. Shabbat dinner went well. It was actually a reunion for the people that I went to Israel with, so they already knew about my "weird" eating habits. I was a bit worried about the hostess, but there were so many people she didn't even notice.
At dinner I ate all of the raw stuff: bagged iceberg salad (blech) & purple cabbage, avocado salad (avocado, tomaotes, hearts of palm -- yum!), pickles, sushi (without the rice), cucumber, grape juice & wine

It definitely helped that I ate the apple and lara bar after swimming.

So my grand total for the day is:

-smoothie (2 bananas, 4 tbsp of raw hemp protein powder, 1c raw almond milk)
-salad (mixed greens, carrots, celery, yellow pepper, cherry tomatoes, sprouted chick peas, olives with raw ACV)
*swam a mile
-apple, lara bar
-the shabbat dinner listed above.
*walked about 2 miles to and from dinner

Still going strong 100% raw for February :-).

off to sleep. good night, ladies!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2008 05:38AM by optimist4life.

Good job last night Becky! Sounds like they had some yummy food (although I agree w/ you about the iceberg lettuce!).

I have discovered that I'm ok eating fruits & fats, but veggies make me puke! Haha. So for now I have to go veggie-free Oh well. Today I feel pretty good, full of energy, and my stomach is doing well so far (knock on wood). So I'm definitely going to get in a decent workout & some yoga. Becky, I'm going to take your advice and do some biking- that sounds like it'll be a nice easy workout for my body but still fun and it'll get my heartrate up a bit. I'm also going shopping and may even splurge on a new pair of jeans since all of mine except one pair are 2 sizes too big and look ridiculous.

Plan for the day:

-3 bananas, 1/2 T almond butter (yay food! I was hungry!)
-lara bar
-30 mins. stationary bike, 30 mins. elliptical, 90 mins. yoga (not power yoga- i need some relaxation!)
-banana in between cardio & yoga if needed/able to stomach it
-a mango & an apple
-2 glasses wine (MAYBE) while out w/ friends

It's still not much food but I think it's better to eat light and keep it down than to try to eat more than I can handle and then puke. I'm off to get my haircut, shop, run errands and make my triumphant return to the gym! Have a great day!

You all are doing so well! Becky, I was relieved to see that your dinner went well and that you had options available to you. Amy, I'm sure you'll be fine and I second what Danielle said. Danielle, I hope you feel much better soon and am glad that you seem to know how and when to pace yourself...

Haven't been to the site in a few days, or online much, either. I've been having a very challenging time with the mental/emotional side of raw detox (who needs therapy? Just go raw - man, do you get clarity!) and it's seriously been kicking my behind...so even coming online was a bit too much for me to handle. I've basically been eating the same except for some wild forays into the world of corn chips drenched with cheese for the past 3 days - which makes me sick ;(... I feel like I'm in the throes of a major life overhaul set to happen...

So... this weekend I vowed to get on here somehow; spend some time getting still and being honest with myself;journalling and doing some extra yoga and meditation - for starters...

I'm not beating myself up for my "forays" **smile**, because I recognise what is going on and I'm giving myself a little twisting room if I need it so I come out of this experience with my sanity! I want to remain healthy without becoming an obsessive nut, which is a possibility for me at times...

Have a wonderful weekend and keep up the good work, gals!

Hi Soraya: I think wild forays sometimes come with the territory. It is really tough to be "on" 100% of the time. I am glad to see that you are being kind and understanding with yourself. Also, clarity can be painful sometimes, but it is necessary as well.

Danielle: I hope you feel better soon! Wow, you must be getting so skinny. Are you okay? Exciting to buy new jeans, I am sure, but make sure your body is getting enough nourishment.

I really don't know what is going on with me. I seriously am just not hungry and don't really much feel like eating. I guess this is a good thing?
I met up with a friend today for lunch and had a really disappointing salad at an Italian restaurant. I don't really care though because I wasn't very hungry.

Did I tell you all that I am thinking of doing a triathalon over in September? I plan to train for it over the summer! So today I did 45 min. run/fast walk on the treadmill in the "gym" in my building. It is really a closet with 5 cardio machines, but it is better than nothing. My legs are already feeling it! I think I want to incorporate some running/fast walking in with my swimming and biking. Good to mix it up.

Check in so far today:
-smoothie (2 bananas, 4 tbsp of raw hemp protein powder, 1c raw almond milk)
*ran/power walked for 45 min
-salad (iceberg lettuce again (yuck!), onions, tomatoes, some Italian dressing (probably not so raw)).

I don't like eating out much anymore. My food is WAY better than anything I can get at a restaurant and it is SUCH a waste of money. I think from now on I am going to suggest "coffee" (I can get green tea) or "drinks" (red wine). Despite my disappointing lunch, I am still really not hungry. I think I'll just have an apple and lara bar the rest of the day. My friend is coming over for wine later, so I might have a glass or two of that as well.

Thanks, Becky! I guess it's also a case of "be careful what you wish for"... I wanted more specific clarity, and, boy have I gotten it! What matters most now is what I do with it...humnnnn...

I'm glad I have you guys to connect with; I haven't got anywhere else I can go yet. My best friend is soooo understanding, but there are certain things you can only identify with if you're raw - and she isn't. Thank you!

Soraya, I can completely relate to what you're going through. The emotional detox was the reason I stopped being 100% raw back when I went raw the first time last spring. I felt like I'd been living with blinders on my whole life- in a state of blissful ignorance, if you will. Then, for some reason, going raw ripped the blinders off my eyes and I was forced to pay attention to what was really going on in the world and in my mind- the good as well as the really, really horrible stuff that goes on that most people turn their heads to. It was so tough for me and I wasn't prepared in the least bit for anything like that! Be patient with yourself. What you are experiencing is a gift in so many ways- most people just choose to ignore 90% of what's really going on, and continue to numb themselves with food, drugs, TV, booze, etc. To take away the stuff that numbs you is incredibly brave and it feels pretty lonely and futile at times. But to be so in touch with yourself and the universe, to PAY ATTENTION and really live your life instead of just being a walking zombie, is, in my opinion, the only way to suck the marrow out of life.

One of my favorite authors, Ayn Rand, said something like, "For centuries, lone men took the first steps down a new path armed with nothing but their vision." Let's face it, we're a rare breed. It takes guts to do something that most people will never begin to understand. But there's something good leading down this road, that's why we're able to slowly leave the rest behind. I really think that when you find something that's right for you, when you find the path you're supposed to be on, you HAVE to keep going no matter how tough it gets, b/c otherwise you'll have so many regrets about what you may have discovered or lived up to.

I have good news! I was able to eat today!!! No puking or nausea! Man it's been a tough past few weeks though...Becky, I agree that my body is in need of some serious nutrition and TLC. I don't think I'm too thin- my friends would probably stage some sort of intervention if that was the case Hopefully I'll be able to eat normally now that this flu is over. Today, in addition to the meals I posted before, I had an extra banana and some carrots & cauliflower w/ hummus. I'm not hungry for dinner now but I'm going to be out til probably 2 AM (I can't wait to have FUN!) so I'll probably make myself eat the fruit, and then take something with me incase I'm hungry while I'm out.

Have a good night, girls!

Insight is a beautiful thing. Thank you for your thoughts, Soraya and Danielle. It is tough out in the real world, and quite a comfort that I can come home and share my raw food experiences with you :-).

Today at a housewarming party my friend asked me, "Becky, how much would I have to pay you to eat a Cheeto?" I didn't quite know how to answer the question. I mean, I could eat a cheeto if I want, but it is just so unappealing to me. People can be so funny about food!

Okay, a quick check in for me before bed:

-smoothie (2 bananas, 4 tbsp of raw hemp protein powder, 1c raw almond milk)
*ran/power walked for 45 min
-salad (iceberg lettuce again, onions, tomatoes, some Italian dressing (probably not so raw)).
-lara bar
-2 apples
-salad greens, carrots, guacamole (I was actually kinda hungry for dinner!)
-3 glasses of red wine
-some dried bananas -- nothing but bananas (yum!)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2008 05:56AM by optimist4life.

Okay, so I just nibbled on a few baby carrots and olives. Guess I AM pretty hungry :-). Well, I successfully made it through week 1+ of February 100% raw. I am going to try to eat almost all fruits and vegetables for week #2. I might want a Lara bar here and there (or even 1 a day). However, I am going to really to try to focus on sticking to just fruits and vegetables, while cutting out most overt fats, nut butters, olives, etc. I'll keep you updated.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Wow, so much activity on the thread and I've only been gone two days!

Danielle, glad to hear you are feeling better!

Soraya, You have a great attitude. Give yourself the love you deserve as you go through this challenging time!

Becky, congrats on remaining raw!

Well, I had a great weekend at the national park. I went biking and saw elephants and monkeys in the wild. How crazy is that?? I ate raw as much as I could (fruit for snacks and at breakfast) but had some cooked veggie dinners. The sucky thing about Thailand is it's not exactly the cleanest place and I don't trust salads unless I go to the grocery store near my house and buy organic stuff to make myself. Also, the only other bad part of the weekend was that I twisted my ankle and slipped another time while hiking and my foot hurts so badly right now. It happened today but didn't start hurting until a couple hours later which was weird. We had to walk a little to get to the bus home and it was agony. As you can imagine for a runner like me this is very upsetting, especially since I just got over an injury. But I'm not going to overreact...I'll see how it feels over the next few days and try to walk as little as possible.

Sorry to be a downer...the good news is this week is pretty free of social eating obligations so I am excited to be returning to a higher level of raw! I'll be back to posting my meals tomorrow!

Amy, I am so sorry to hear about your ankle! I understand how frustrating that is! I sprained mine during my second season of track in H.S. and was out all season, and it was TORTURE watching my friends run and not being able to. I still sprain it every now & then b/c it's weaker. BUT it sounds like your ankle will heal in a few days! Especially with all the nutrition you're giving your body Also, that is so freaking cool about the elephants and monkeys! You are really living so many people's dream!!! What does your family think about your travels? Might they come visit you?

Becky, I am going to join you in cutting down on overt fats & focusing on fruits & veggies! I need to NOT buy more almond butter when this jar is up. I do enjoy it but it does not agree with me very well and certainly doesn't make me feel cleansed and light like fruit does. I plan on having one source of overt fats per day- so one lara bar, 2 T raw almond butter, some guac or hummus, etc.

Last night was...very confusing. Adam is so into me, I don't know what to do! This always seems to happen to me- the guy is so much more into me than I am into him. Nate was the one exception- isn't that always the way? We want what we can't have. Anyway, the second I got to his party he totally stopped paying attention to anyone else and spent the rest of the night w/ me. He wanted to make sure I was ok and all that. When I told him about the situation with Nate, he said he would kill him if he was there in front of him! He was drunk, and is not a violent person, so I'm sure he was exaggerating, but I was just like...WHY does this guy care so much? What does he even see in me? I don't know. He says we're hanging out this week so hopefully I can make sense of it all when he's not drunk and I'm not halfway drunk. Lol. Life sure is confusing.

Anyway, I have NO tolerance anymore. Big surprise. After one glass of wine I was drunk. I had 2 and that lasted me the entire night- from 9:00 PM til 3:30 AM. Crazy. My stomach isn't that happy today.

Food:
-3 bananas
-cashew cookie lara bar & apple
-apple & banana before the gym
*45 mins. arc trainer, 15 mins. stationary bike, 30 mins. washboard abs class- new instructor, so it might be killer or it might be easy, we'll see
-I'll probably have a bunch of fruit for dinner, or a salad. Don't know yet.

Sorry that was so long!

Amy: Sounds like you had a fantastic trip! I am glad that you enjoyed yourself so much! Also sounds like you did a great job staying mostly raw in a somewhat challenging situation. I am SO sorry to hear about your ankle. I know exactly how you feel -- that's how I felt when I hurt myself on New Year's Eve in Israel. It is a KILLER not to be able to work out when you want to. Rest, ice it, and hopefully it will feel better soon!

Danielle: Glad to hear you had such a great night out! Why aren't you interested in seeing where things go with Adam? BTW, have you ever read the Rules? I definitely don't believe in all of them, but there is definitely somewhat of an element of truth. We always want what we can't have.

I have been working nonstop today on these two memos that are due tonight at 8pm. Luckily I got an extension on one until tomorrow night, but that doesn't help me much because I will have NO time tomorrow to work on it. I think I am going to be up super late tonight. Anyway, didn't get to work out today and have only been eating while sitting at this desk doing work.

Food summary for the day:
-3 apples
-lara bar
-2 bananas

Not feeling so hungry, but I might eat a small salad or another piece of fruit before bed.

Good night, ladies!

Okay, quick check in before bed.

Here is my grand total:

Food summary for the day:
-3 apples
-lara bar
-2 bananas
-cucumber & red pepper
-1 slice of tomato & 1 piece of Basil
-2 apples, banana, carrots & sprouted chick peas

Yes, quite random, I know. But I got hungry later on and am VERY out of food. I'll probably need to buy my lunch at school for the next couple of days. Good thing there is a good salad bar!

Hey girls,

Thanks so much for your well wishes. I am amazed by my body today. I woke up and my ankle was 50% better than yesterday, which I was thrilled about because I could at least limp without pain. I iced in the AM and ate raw all day and by evening (now) it is completely better! Now, I know that I am lucky to have been born with a healthy body, but I really feel like eating raw helps me recover from these kinds of things more quickly. I am just ecstatic right now!

Becky, that is great that you are thinking about going for a triathlon! I've done many triathlons (I think six - both sprint and olympic distance) and really enjoy them - I highly recommend doing one! I also lol'd at your how your friend asked how much she would have to pay you to eat a cheeto - I get comments like that all the time, it's just ridiculous.

Danielle, good luck with Adam! I know it can be hard to figure out your real feelings when someone is so into you. On the one hand it's flattering but you also don't want to start dating them just because they like you so much. Regarding your situation with Nate, I think many people also want what they can't have.

Soraya, I hope you are doing well!

Well, today was really light for me. I wasn't too hungry and didn't do any formal exercise because of my foot, but I did stay 100% raw:

B: 2 bananas, apple (apples are NOT good here which is sad because they are my absolute favorite food...but I know I'll be able to get good ones soon enough)
L: about 3/4 of a cup of pineapple and 1 cup of grapes, iced green tea
Snack: another cup of grapes
Dinner: salad with organic mixed greens, tomatoes, mung bean sprouts, avocado, raw ACV, and sea salt...delicious!

That is where I'm at now...I might eat some fruit later while watching Oprah...my nightly ritual, lol.

Have a great day and I look forward to hearing from everyone soon!

Amy: I am so glad to hear that your foot is feeling better! Yay for raw food :-).

Out of curiosity, what is your 2-minute speech about being raw? I basically say something along the lines of "when you cook food it destroys the enzymes and is more difficult for your body to digest, stays in your body longer, etc. The longer food stays in your system, the more toxins build up. Also, it is best to eat foods as close to their natural state as possible." Just wondering what you tell people when they ask.

I weighed myself today and I haven't lost a pound! I actually even might weigh a pound more than normal. I seriously don't get it. Is this because I haven't been exercising enough (only managing about 4-5x a week)? Eating at night? Last night I had some of those delicious dried bananas. However, maybe it is a bad idea to eat something so sweet at night. Maybe my body just wants to stay where it is? I really don't get it though -- I think I am only eating 1200-1500 calories a day, which isn't much. I decided that this week I am ABSOLUTELY not going to eat anything after 8pm. I'll see if that makes any sort of difference. Quite frustrating since I feel like I have been so disciplined with eating all raw, and still exercise way more than most people (not as much as I like, but really as much as I can with my crazy schedule).

Grand total for today:

-apple
-salad from the salad bar (mixed salad greens, spinach, carrot, red and green pepper, artichoke hearts, a bit of olive oil (probably about a teaspoon), and some vinegar)
-lara bar
-salad: romaine lettuce, cucumber, carrots, green pepper, alfalfa sprouts, mushrooms & salsa (tomatoes, cilantro, onions, pepper & salt)

Wish me luck in no night eating -- I predict it will be my lifelong challenge.
Any advice about the weight thing?

Thank you both for your insight re: My Adam situation!

Amy, that’s awesome about your ankle! Raw foods are so good at reducing inflammation and promoting healing. I notice that I heal from scars & cuts MUCH faster eating raw. The doctors were also surprised at how quickly my lacerations healed (or at least how far along in the healing process I was when they last saw me) and the black & blue bruises I had healed completely in 2 weeks which for me was amazing!

Becky, it’s not that I’m against dating Adam…I guess I’m hesitant to start anything that I’m not 100% sure I want to get into, b/c he’d get really hurt if I broke it off. But I think I will give him a chance- we have plans to have dinner on Thursday, and I didn’t even realize it’s Valentines’ Day. so I guess that would be a date then, huh? Lol.

My day has been absolutely LOVELY. I feel amazing, I’m so happy and optimistic, the sun is shining, and I feel like I used to feel 3 weeks ago!

-banana
*45 mins. elliptical*
-2 bananas, tiny bit of raw almond butter (less than ½ T) and 1 raw brazil nut for selenium
-2 bananas,apple
-banana, apple
-handful of baby carrots; salad w/ romaine, baby romaine, red & yellow peppers, carrots, cucs, cauliflower, raw ACV (I have no more tomatoes! Poor me!)

Have a lovely night, ladies! Or a lovely whatever time of day it is near you! We are so worldly…haha.

Thanks everyone for all of your kind words and encouragement - it means so much to me! It's such a gift to find such support here, and know that this is a safe place **big grin**

Amy, so glad your ankle's better!

Becky, great job staying raw - so proud of you!

Danielle, thank you so much for your comments; you so totally get it! The emotional detox was one of the main reasons I wanted to go raw, actually; I just wish I was more prepared for how intense it would be! I want the clarity, etc, so I'm determined to work through it, but, mannnnn...

I too am going to have to keep a close eye on my overt fat intake... I was allowing myself to eat what I wanted to (nuts, nut butter,seeds,avocado) until my body wanted a shift, and - surprise surprise! - apparently it does. I developed acne after going raw, and now I am realising that when I eat very little fat my blemishes start to clear up, and when I don't - my face turns into a zit factory!!! So, after weeks of self-denial, I have resolved to face the truth (pun intended) and pursue the solution that's right in front of me. Now, if I could only banish the dark spots as easily... ;( And my intense LOVE for nuts (ohhhh...cashews...pistachios...mmmnnn...)

To make up for less fat I'm really going to have to up the total amount of what I eat, eat more often, and maybe either begin eating earlier in the day and/or finish eating later in the evening...it's off to load up on fruit and veggies tomorrow/Wednesday. I just wish I didn't have to get the bus to do so; limits what I can carry at a time...

You know what? This journey may be challenging, and at times puzzling, but I must admit that it's also fun...

HugsHugsHugs to you all wonderful people... I'll start posting my food up again once I get a handle on my supplies...

Have a peaceful night!

I have never give a 2-minute raw speech. I'm a raw foodist in hiding! It was even a big deal for me telling my friend this weekend that I'm vegan, because I had never done that before. Luckily I eat almost all of my meals alone (sounds sad but it's not because I love eating alone) so I don't run into it too much.

Becky, sorry that you are frustrated with your weight right now. I really don't know what is going on. It seems like you should be losing weight given your exercise and diet, even including a few dried bananas at night.

Danielle, that is so cool how quickly you healed from your lacerations and bruises. I am just so grateful to have found raw and gained a whole new perspective on how to take care of myself!

Soraya, I love, love, love nuts too. Raw Macadamias, Pistachios, Almond Butter...Right now I just cannot give them up completely but I'm trying my best to limit the amount I consume.

Well, today was about 90% raw. My only offense was steamed veggies at lunch. My school cafeteria sells them and I just couldn't resist. I put dried chili's on top (very Thai) and they tasted good but I did feel imperfect not eating 100%. Oh well...a few steamed veggies is probably the least offensive non-raw thing I could eat, right?

Here is my day:

B: about 10oz fresh squeezed OJ, 2 bananas
Workout: 40 minute powerwalk (want to give my ankle a little more rest before I try to run on it), and about 20 minutes of abs/arms/stretching
Snack: 2 more bananas and some tomatoes (weird but I was starving after my walk!)
Snack 2: about 2 cups of grapes
Lunch: a whole avocado plus those steamed veggies
Snack: seedless orange slices
Dinner: salad with organic greens, cukes, yellow peppers, shredded carrots, raw ACV, and sea salt...a few raw mixed nuts and raisins afterwards

I'll probably eat some cherries tonight...they import them here from Australia. In NY (where I'm from) you can only get cherries in the summer so I wanted to treat myself today.

Have a wonderful day, ladies!

Hola chicas. Another beautiful sunny day here! I am wearing a ¾ sleeve jacket! That means life is good.

Becky, that is so frustrating about doing everything right and not losing weight. I don’t have much advice- it seems like you should be losing, for sure. I think I may have asked you this before, but did you go through a lot of physical detox yet? For me at least, I lost all the weight during or immediately following a detox period (except for the 5ish pounds have lost since the attack). Maybe your body is doing some healing on the inside right now and isn’t ready to go through detox yet. I think you’re already at a healthy weight for your height, and that always makes weight loss tough, but on raw I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you get down to a lower but still healthy weight eventually.

Soraya, I’m surprised that you developed acne when you went raw. Do you think it was a result of detox, not a result of eating more raw fat? What was your diet like before raw? I am also trying to keep my fat intake low…some days are better than others! I like fresh fruits & veggies more than nuts & seeds, but sometimes I just want to feel full and nuts and seeds do the trick. But as far as skin goes, my skin became amazingly soft & clear when I started limiting my fat intake to around 10-15% a day (I go a bit higher than that on occasion though).

Amy, good job for telling your friend you are vegan! It is hard, people tend to stereotype vegans and some people judge others who have different ways of living/eating. I think that when someone else is eating so “healthy” it can make those around her feel bad about their own eating habits or turn meals into competitions. How did your friend react? Also you are totally right, steamed veggies are the best cooked food you could eat! Much better than my bagel benders…haha.

I am starving today! Trying not to eat too much b/c I don’t want to ruin my appetite for dinner- I’m having dinner at my favorite restaurant with a friend. And strangely enough, I am really looking forward to my “date” w/ Adam on Thursday. Did I mention that yesterday? I didn’t even realize it was Valentine’s Day when he said we should have dinner that night…ooops. Lol. But que sera, sera.

OH! Good news! I met with the guy from the Victim Assistance Program of CA today, and the state is paying for ALL of my medical bills!

Not much else is going on today…

-banana and 1 T raw almond butter (woke up starving- actually I almost got up to get food like 3 times during the night but stayed in bed instead!)
*45 mins. arc trainer, 10 mins. easy stationary bike cool-down*
-3 bananas and another taste of raw almond butter
-another banana
-banana and apple
-planning on having an apple as a snack this afternoon
-dinner at Real Food Daily (if you’re ever in LA, this is THE place to go!) - my favorite salad, the “farm chop salad” w/ mixed greens, tons of chopped veggies, avocado, and “living” (ie raw!) dressing. Everything is organic and they use as much local produce as possible. Maybe a glass of organic red wine as well if I feel like it, although there will most likely be more than enough wine on Thursday…but sometimes a girl needs her wine!

Amy, I had to laugh a little at your post, because I'm a raw-foodist in hiding as well! Especially here at home (I don't live with family). I've gotten jumped on quite severely for being vegan - about five months, now? - so I'm not going to even mention raw, not now, or anytime in the near or remote future! It's weird because I have to keep a lot to myself - including a secret fruit / food stash. It's a little complicated, but it's my life, and I'm doing what I need to for my health. See why I love you guys / this blog so much? One place where I DON"T have to keep a secret . But I do it here to keep the peace...

Don't worry about the occasional steamed food. You are by no means imperfect for not maintaining a particular raw percentage. WE certainly won't judge you, so please don't be so hard on yourself! Besides, its great seeing someone here from NY too!!!

Danielle, SO cool that all your medical bills are being covered; I know first hand how all those bills can stack up into staggering amounts that are frightful -congratulations,dear! Also, Adam does sound like a wonderful guy, and I see what you're saying as well...just remain open and see how it goes, unless you get some warning signs intuitively...

I know that the acne was initially from detox as I've always been into my raw nuts, seeds, and avocados, especially, but because of going raw my body's adjusted also to the point where its becaome sensitive to a lot of fat recently. I know I can't give everything up totally, so now I have to determine what amount I can allow myself that will also facilitate my skin clearing up. I think I can aim for 15%-20% right now - when I go to 10% right away, its too hard for me and I can't maintain it...I've got to transition a little slowly into that one!

Becky, I think your issue may be that you're just not eating enough, and you're body's just holding on to all it can get right now...

Did some food shopping - mainly fruit - today...may pop out again tomorrow depending on the weather. I just wish you oculd get more ripe fruit at the market...I have to keep stockpiling things and waiting for them to ripen . Man am I looking forward to warm weather - just for the fruit!!!

Would love to write more but have a wicked migraine to go get rid of...I'm surpried I lasted this long but I wanted to touch base with you all. Keep sweet and have a fantastic night/day!

Hi Ladies:
It is wonderful to come home and know that I can blog with all of you in the evening. I RARELY talk about being raw anymore since I know I can do all of my raw food thought processing here.

Danielle: I am really happy to hear that you won't need to deal with those medical bills! I am looking forward to hearing about how thing have been going with Adam. Def. keep us updated.

Amy: Great job staying vegan on the trip. No worries about the steamed veggies -- sounds like you are doing great!

Soraya: Your life does sound complicated, as far as raw food eating goes. I am glad that we can provide the forum that you are looking for :-).

I think I am going to see a therapist. I have been feeling really down and depressed lately, regretting leaving Israel to go to law school (I don't think I told you, but I lived there for almost 2 years right before I came to law school. I didn't really want to leave, but gave into parental pressure). Anyway, I think on the surface all seems fine to everyone, but I am really just not doing so well. I miss my happy and optimistic self, which I think is being squashed in the toxic law school environment. I hear that depression in law school is pretty common, but I need to figure out what to do about it since I will be stuck here for at least another 1.5 years. Wow, thanks for listening (reading) to that!

Anyway, quick food check in before bed:

-Apple
-Salad: romaine, carrots, cauliflower, peppers, onions, salsa (leftover from last night's dinner, which I couldn't finish last night)
-Lara bar
-Salad that the school provided: spinach and onions with balsamic vinaigrette dressing and a tiny bit of feta cheese (which I tried to avoid, but wasn't able to keep all of it off of my plate -- oh well)
-Apple, banana
-small bag of peanuts
*swam a mile

Notice -- no food after I swam :-). I have managed to stop eating before 8pm two nights in a row! This morning I already noticed that my weight had gone down. I am convinced that the only way for me to lose weight will be to not eat at night. It is frustrating that it is so difficult for me to lose weight. However, I am just as stubborn as my body and can be very disciplined, so I know I will take the weight off.

Have a good night, ladies :-).

Becky, I just wanted to give you a quick, bear (cyber) hug as I so understand what you are going through! I think seeing a good therapist would be an excellent idea, as that was one of the things that got me through some tough times at school when I was feeling very depressed, anxious and overwhelmed - new country, new school, first time ever out on my own... It's an interesting parallel in that I left home mainly to get AWAY from parental pressure to pursue what I loved - everyone was pushing me to do - get this - LAW!!!

Congrats on winning the battle with night eating. It can be so hard to change habitual actions *sigh*, so kudos to you!

Raining like the dickens here, so this will be my official book and bed day

Have a geat day; will give my food update later!

Thanks for your kind words, Soraya. I appreciate the positive support. I know that this is a temporary situation, but sometimes it feels like law school will never end. Why do so many parents pressure their children to go to law school? Most law students (and lawyers) are miserable. Don't they want their children to be happy? Every person who asks me about law school and tells me that they are considering it, I tell them to think long and hard about whether they actually want to go to law school. I sure hope I made the right decision.

Food today is as follows:
-smoothie (2 bananas, 1 c of apple juice, 4 tbsp of raw hemp protein)
-salad from the salad bar (mixed greens, cucumber, red and green pepper, carrots, tomatoes, and salsa)
-lara bar

If I continue to eat this way, don't eat at night, and still haven't lost weight by March 1 I am going to re-assess. Maybe I am eating too many simple sugars with all of the fruit? Maybe my body is treating lara bars like candy? I may be a "healthy" weight, but this is ridiculous. I eat in such a restricted way and I still can't lose weight. Very frustrating, to say the least.

Sorry I have been a downer the past couple of days, ladies. I hope to get into a better mood soon!

Soraya, thanks for the congrats on my med bills being paid by the state. I was so happy! I’m sorry to hear that you have personal experience with that stuff- it’s no fun. That’s so cute that you have a secret fruit stash! I’m glad we have this journal, too. It definitely makes it easier for my friends b/c I have another place to talk about how amazingly wonderful raw foodism is ;-)

Becky, good for you for deciding to seek therapy for what you’re feeling. I’m sorry that you’re so down lately. It must be somewhat of a let-down to be back to your normal routine after spending time in Israel again, especially if you were hesitant to leave the Israel before. Do you think you’ll go back after you graduate? It might be a good thing to focus on when law school gets you down. I give you a TON of credit for doing all that you do- you are so busy but you seem to balance it all and still amazingly enough find time to work out and eat healthy! I also want to congratulate you on not eating after 8 PM 2 nights in a row, and for already seeing positive results from it!

Also, if you are questioning what you’re doing in law school, remember that NOTHING in life is permanent! I know you’re going through the whole process right now and doing something else with your life afterwards may seem like a waste of time & money, but if you’re not happy being a lawyer, you have every right to change careers! In my opinion, life is about finding happiness and making the world a better place in the process. You have to do what is right for you- because if you’re not happy, how could your parents be happy? If you do what’s best for you and they see how great it is for you, they will be a million times prouder and happier than if you become a lawyer but are miserable about it!

I’m continuing on a separate post b/c my comments were so long!

So I have an issue…I went out to dinner last night with a friend I hadn’t seen since Thanksgiving, which was around the time I went 100% raw. She remarked that I’d lost a “dramatic” amount of weight since then. She kept referring back to it throughout our dinner and then at the end of the night, I started getting worried so I asked her to give me her honest opinion of my weight, since I’ll be seeing my overly protective parents this weekend and they’re already worried I’m too thin. She told me I look underweight, like “an Olsen twin” (hahaha), and that I need to gain weight back! This upset me b/c she implied that I look grossly underweight or emaciated which I AM NOT AT ALL!!! I’m about 103-104 pounds at 5’3 so I don’t think I’m even underweight. And the more weight I lose, the less comfortable I think I’d be at a higher weight. It is definitely possible that she just has her own issues and me losing weight made her feel bad or less comfortable with her body. She has imitated my eating habits in the past so maybe she feels inadequate being much heavier than me?

Sorry for the rant. I needed to vent in a “safe” place. My other friends have commented on my weight loss- I need to ask some of them that I trust if I’m to skinny. I bet they’ll say I’m fine! I don’t plan on trying to gain weight back b/c I feel good in my body right now and I feel healthy and happy. That’s what matters most to me.

Anyway, last night after dinner I was still hungry. They have great salads at the organic vegan restaurant we went to, but they are SO small and I only put 1/3 of the avo on my salad in an attempt to keep my fat % low, so it didn’t fill me up. I had 3 bananas and like a tsp. of raw almond butter after dinner. This was probably more than I needed. I guess my friend’s comment worried me a bit.

Today:

B: 3 bananas
S: sm. banana
L: 3 bananas, apple
S: lara bar
D: salad w/ romaine, baby greens, red & yellow peppers, carrots, cauliflower, cucs, a HUGE tomato, raw ACV. Also a handful of baby carrots and some cut up peppers on the side- gotta finish my veggies before I leave! Lol.

Adam emailed me today to make sure we’re still on for tomorrow. He seems so excited to be taking me out on Valentine’s Day. I need to get over myself- he is attractive, kind, funny and we have so much fun together. I didn’t feel instant chemistry with Nate, and if I don’t give anyone a chance, I’ll never feel chemistry with anyone again. So I am diving into this. No expectations, no plans, just going to see where it leads. It will make him happy and he really deserves it after how great he’s been to me. I told him to pick the restaurant so I have no idea where we’ll go! Do you girls have any special Valentine’s Day plans?

Thanks for the positive encouragement, ladies. Danielle, what you wrote really spoke to me -- you are right nothing is permanent. The first 1.5 years of law school just flew by, so I am sure the rest will be done in a flash. I just need to try to focus on appreciating all of the good things about it (there actually are good things about law school, believe it or not!).

I had a mini break-down session today -- well a couple of them. Between meetings, I had a 2 hour break. I had planned to work on this research memo that is due on Friday, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I called my mom instead. I usually try not to tell her things that upset me because it just worries her, but I just really wanted to talk to her. I ended up talking to her for like 30 minutes, telling her how unhappy I am in law school and worrying that I made the wrong decision. I cried and cried, which I felt really bad about but I just couldn't help it. I managed to pull myself together for the meeting. Then I went to the Supreme Court to hear Justice Roberts speak. I went with my friend and the whole way I just complained about how unhappy I am, etc. He was really nice to listen and told me that he had no idea how unhappy I was. He said that he also often has regrets about going to law school. I think it is a pretty common thing. Anyway, I tried to enjoy the outing. We met up with another friend of mine there plus the rabbi at my school and (coincidentally) my rabbi from Arizona! Such a small world! Anyway, I tried to smile all along the way. My other friend then drove me back to school after the presentation. I ended up swimming when I got back to school, but I kept on needing to stop because I kept on crying, which caused me to swallow a bunch of water. Well, I only managed to swim about 38 laps (I usually do 66) because I just couldn't pull myself together. Finally I decided to eat a non-raw dinner. I really needed it! Not too bad -- vegetarian sushi. I also had a bit of chocolate. I actually don't feel bad about it. It made me feel SO much better to eat Sushi. Not sure why, but it somehow put me in a better mood. So, I guess I didn't manage to get through February 100% raw. March? I plan to go right back to eating raw tomorrow, but I just needed to diverge this evening. I am a little scared that now that I opened the Pandora's box (i.e. admitted to myself how unhappy I am and told some people) now I won't be able to close it.

Anyway, I made an appointment with a counselor in the school counseling center (thank goodness it is covered by our school insurance!) on Friday morning. I am really looking forward to it. I think it will help me to put things into perspective and just feel better about getting my feelings out.

Here is my summary for the day:

-smoothie (2 bananas, 1 c of apple juice, 4 tbsp of raw hemp protein)
-salad from the salad bar (mixed greens, cucumber, red and green pepper, carrots, tomatoes, and salsa)
-lara bar
-melon
*swam 1/2 mile
-8 pieces of sushi (rice, seaweed, avocado), ginger & soy sauce
-some chocolate-covered peanuts

Actually, considering the fact that I "diverged" this evening, It isn't really that bad. I also felt very in control of the whole thing, which was actually kind of a cool feeling. I *decided* that I needed to diverge from the raw thing for one evening. In the past, I sometimes felt out of control if I "diverged" from the path. However, I was fully cognizant this time. Interesting shift, I must say. Back to being raw again tomorrow!

Danielle, I looked up your height and weight on an ideal weight calculator. You are a tiny bit underweight. The medical recommendation is 107-141. However, it seems to me like you are ok. If you eat every day and you feel good how you are, don't worry about what your friend said. I think maybe don't worry so much about overt fat. However, health-wise you seem ok to me.