Hey ladies!

Becky, I am sorry to hear that you are unhappy right now in law school. I love what Danielle said about nothing being permanent. I myself have been having a tough time since I graduated from college in 06. I taught/traveled for 1.5 years and now I am in Thailand coaching swimming. I feel so lucky to have had these experiences but also very lonely at times. I have no real, permanent friends right now who live near me since I have been all over the place. That has been the hardest part. Also, I just don't know what I want to do after this year and with with rest of my life, OR when/if my boyfriend and I will ever live in the same place, lol. I try not to let it stress me out but sometimes it does.

Danielle, sorry that your friend made you uncomfortable. If you truly feel happy and healthy with your weight now I think it is fine!

Ok so I didn't post last night b/c I feel asleep after eating some black sesame butter (like pb only made from sesame seeds - so good but not raw!) and potato chips (not together, haha). I was just having crazy cravings last night. I'm happy that I didn't completely overdo it but my body just did not feel right this morning. I am so much more sensitive to crappy food now that I have been mostly raw for a while. The first thing I did this morning was go for a nice run and that made me feel a little better. I am just starting to feel hungry now which is good. I'm sure I'll be eating raw today - I have no cravings for non-raw food after last night! Ugh. Do you girls have any advice on how to combat these cravings? It seems like they happen about once a week for me and they are very, very hard to overcome!

I will post later with my food for the day. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!! Danielle, have fun on your date! I have no plans except doing my nails and hanging out with my Thai roommate

I think I may have found a panacea for my unhappiness. Not sure, but we will see. After going swimming, instead of going back to law school or going home, I stayed on the main campus (about a mile away from the law school) and did work there. The atmosphere was MUCH better than the law school, it was a nice escape, and I felt super productive. I think I really just need to get out of that building sometimes. The law school is in a beautiful building, but it is unnatural to be in the same building all day every day (12+ hours a day!). I am going to try to come to the main campus more. Undergrads have a MUCH better atmosphere than law students anyway :-).

Amy: Try not to stress too much about being a bit of a nomad post-college. I graduated in '02 and took 4 years "off." They were definitely some of the best years of my life -- I lived & volunteered in Israel for 10 months, worked at a homeless shelter in Washington, DC, moved back in with my parents for 4 months, then finally lived in Israel and directed a medical fellowship in Uganda for 1.5 years. These were very tough times as I never really felt like I had a permanent home or permanent friends around me. However, I found it to be a wonderful opportunity to meet people from such a diverse set of backgrounds! My advice to you would be -- enjoy your experience as much as possible, keep a journal & take lots of photos, and work hard to maintain your relationships around the globe via email. I did that and have managed to keep in contact with TONS of friends all around the world. I still talk to my good girlfriends from college on a really regular basis & we see each other several times a year even though we all live in different places. This is such a global world nowadays -- few people live near ALL of their family and friends.

Advice about your cravings -- maybe just give into them and plan for them? Give yourself 1 day a week to eat one meal that you crave. That way, it will be like planned diversion and you won't feel bad about it. Plus, it will help you stay on track the rest of the time knowing you can have 1 free meal. I think I might try to do that (but will keep my 1 free meal tame -- like sushi, stir fried veggies, or something like that). After all, if this is going to be a lifelong thing, maybe you will need one "freeby" a week to keep you honest the rest of the time. Just a thought.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/14/2008 04:14AM by optimist4life.

Becky, thanks for your insight about my traveling situation. Things are a lot better for me now that I'm here for 4 months. With my previous job I lived in a different place every single month, and that was very hard for me. I agree with you that it is okay to give into my cravings once in a while. Maybe last night I should have recognized that I was craving denser food and had some rice along with my steamed veggies. That has to be better than potato chips, lol. Also, glad that you found some happiness on the undergrad campus!

Overall though I realized today that having the occasional slip up is no reason to think about giving up on raw. I feel so amazing on raw and if anything how crappy I feel after my slip ups just reminds me of that! I am going to play around with my diet a bit (more fat/less fat, more greens/less greens, etc) to see what works best with my body and reduces my cravings!

Well today was a bit lighter than usual b/c I had no appetite in the morning. Food includes:

-4 oranges
-3 bananas
-grapes
-pineapple
-salad with organic mixed greens, tomato, bean sprouts, avocado, coriander, and acv

Have a great day and I look forward to hearing from you all soon! Tomorrow I am going to the raw restaurant in Bangkok so I'll have another fantastic meal to report

Hi Ladies: I need to take a break from blogging about this for a couple of days.
I am going to a Shabbat dinner on Friday night and will be staying with my sister for a couple of days. I don't feel well and am going to try to fast on green tea and water for a couple of days.
I'll come back Sunday or Monday. Have a nice weekend!

Couldn't get online last night, the connection was down or something... ;(

Becky, I'm glad you let some of your feelings out; its when we hold things in too much that the trouble starts(been there - done that)! That's why its so necessary to have a safe place (with safe people!) to fall. I'm glad you made that appointment, and we're always here for you! Good to see as well that you are not beating yourself up about "diverging"...

Danielle, don't even think about thinking about what your friend said! First of all your body's adjusting and discarding stuff right now, so you have to allow for that. Also, if she's used to seeing you a certain way, its going to take a while before her mind sees you differently, and I'm sure she has some issues of her own as well (personal experiece speaking here...I've gotten blasted about how I eat, but then on the flipside the same people enviously talk about how much I've slimmed down and how much they want to lose too). Keep in mind,too, that as good as these weight calculators can be, it is a general estimate that can't take our individual body type(s) into consideration...

And have fun on your date tonight!!!

My food for yesterday:
juice 5 oranges
8 mandarins
Fruit smoothie : 4 bananas, 2 cups mixed berries (as long as I keep it simple, I can get away with this!)
3 more bananas
4 nectarines
2 jumbo romaine hearts with shredded carrot, sprouts and cashews.

My appetite's been shot the past few days, so I'm kinda forcing myself to eat now. I haven't done any "cheese and chip foraying" for @ four days now (yea!!!), and if I do feel tempted I remind myself of the migrane I've had for the past three days; "Do you wanna feel like this again?" Uh...NO. End of that story!

I am beginning to feel that I need to eat more,actually...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/14/2008 08:13PM by Soraya.

Becky, we’ll miss you, but definitely take the time you need for yourself. I hope you feel better!

Amy, I think Becky hit the nail on the head when she said that this is for life- so if that means we need to allow ourselves a bit of cooked food once a week to stay 98% raw in the long run, it’s worth it and totally ok. I admit I feel pretty horrible about myself when I eat cooked, too (see below) but we are really just beginning this journey and need to cut ourselves some slack, right?

Soraya, thanks for your advice re: my friend and her comments. Also, I think you could definitely add more to your menu! Just listen to your body, it’ll tell you if it needs more food and what it needs more of.

I have been starving today! I ended up eating half a peanut butter & jelly sandwich with lunch b/c I could not get full. I feel kind of guilty (ok really guilty) especially b/c I’m going out tonight and was already planning on indulging in wine. I don’t know why but I feel so out of control lately, and scared that I’m going to gain back all the weight I lost when I’m finally happy with my body! I know that’s ridiculous. I need to breathe and get over myself. Even if I do have a salad w/ some olive oil & vinegar and a glass of wine w/ dinner, I’ll be at about 1550 calories for the day. That is not enough to gain weight anyway, and it’s just one day. Plus I’m emailing back & forth w/ Adam now and I think we’re just going to go to a bar where I can have a glass of wine & he can have food & drinks anyway. But clearly I still have some ED issues to work on…

-banana at midnight- woke up & wanted something (maybe this is why I feel “out of control”?)
*45 mins. cardio*
-3 bananas, 1 raw energy bite
-2 bananas
-late lunch- big salad w/all my usual veggies except tomatoes, raw ACV, and a splash of balsamic vinaigrette for a change in taste (was soooo good), half a pbj on crappy wheat bread that tasted like wood chips…
-out somewhere- definitely a glass of red wine, we’ll see if I have anything else or not…prob wont be hungry but if I don’t eat dinner I’ll have an apple or something later on I’m sure

Sorry to cloud our thread with negative ED crap. I have to admit this stuff bothers me much more than it should and it’s only gotten worse since I lost more weight. I don't usually let it get in the way of my life or anything, but it's almost always in the back of my mind & I know that's not normal (seriously- who freaks out about eating 1550 calories one day when they weigh 104 lbs. and worked out for 45 mins?). Grrr.

Danielle, you are not "clouding our thread..." at all...you are sharing with friends, and you should never feel guilty about that. Granted, I'm new here, but you've built up a great rapport with the other ladies - and this is our "safe place", right? So share away, so we can give you all the support we can. That's what we are here for, to shore each other up that we can succeed at our goals (raw and otherwise). Okay?

Peace!

Thanks Soraya You have such a way with words, you always know the right thing to say! I appreciate it.

I am such an idiot, I didn't even realize this is PMS week for me. I ALWAYS have the most horrible body image during PMS week and am always super hungry and feeling uncontrolled with my eating. So, I've just got to stick it out for a few more days and then I will feel better again!

At any rate I am looking forward to my wine tonight! Adam is on his way, I think we're going to a bar on the Sunset Strip (where I live) and maybe even a comedy show after that. Have a great night, girls, and thank you so much for all of your continued support!

Hey ladies,

Quick post now b/c I can't wait to go for my run, lol. I will comment later.

So yesterday was a great day. No formal workout but I walked all around Bangkok so I didn't feel guilty. I went to my raw restaurant too:

B: about 20oz OJ and some pineapple chunks
L: Zucchini spaghetti with nut balls (these were really good), live ceasar salad (unfortunately not as great ) and some raw strawberry cream pie (so rich and good...I didn't even finish it all!)
D; My roommate wanted to go out so my usual steamed veggies...I actually felt like this balanced the richness of my lunch well, even though it was cooked

Danielle, Even though you are still struggling with your ED mindset it sounds to me like you are able to recognize this and get yourself out of it. You are SO right...who worries about 1500 cals when they are as small as you and have already worked out that day??? I loved that sentence, lol. Can't wait to hear how your date went!!!!

So I am about to go running and then to one of the weekend markets here...in addition to being a shoppers dream this market is actually great for raw foodists too, lol. They have TONS of fresh fruit stands, fresh OJ stands, all fruit smoothies, etc...I can't wait!

Hi Ladies:
Well, I couldn't go the whole weekend without checking in with you. So, I am back!
I went to the school counseling center today to do an intake. It was great, and I felt so empowered when I left. I think seeing someone and talking about my feelings will really help things a lot. I just feel much better now than I did on Wednesday.
Food-wise I would rather not say. My "diversion" has gotten me into some trouble the past couple of days. Suffice it to say -- I definitely did not eat raw and feel pretty bad about it.
I am going to do a water/green tea cleansing fast for Saturday and Sunday. Monday I'll get back onto the raw food track and finish February strong. If I can finish February saying I ate 100% raw except for 3 days in the middle, I will feel okay about things. Then March...I'll shoot to be really 100% raw.
I am definitely disappointed that I didn't manage to make it all of the way through February raw since that is what I really wanted. However, I did get through 13 days 100% raw, which is the longest I have gone since I began. I guess baby steps of progress, aiming to the long-term goal of being a raw foodist for life.
My plan tomorrow is to go to spinning in the morning and then just have water and green tea all day.
Gotta go to sleep -- am exhausted.

Amy: sounds like you are back on track -- great!
Danielle: I hope your date went well :-).
Soraya: how are you?

Good night!

Becky, glad to hear the counseling center was a success so far! You should definitely be happy about the 13 days you made it 100% raw. That is great!

Here is what I ate today (easier to just list it all b/c it was at random snacking times rather than meals):

AM Workout: 5 mile run, some abs/stretching afterwards
-grapes
-mango
-pineapple chunks
-an apple
-oranges
-a small raw donut! (this was really about the equivalent of a lara bar, only it was rolled in coconut and in a donut shape...not too bad though! I bought it at the raw foods restaurant yesterday)
-a few very small raw cookies (about the size of a quarter for each one)
-vegan version of spicy papaya salad...a famous thai salad with green papaya, chiles, and a few other things...I believe it is mostly raw except there were a few peanuts on top that I didn't pick out...I also had literally 2 bites of rice

So besides the rice and peanuts I was all raw today...so my percentage was pretty high...it really helped buying those raw treats at the restaurant...tonight I was feeling very snacky (that is so not a word, lol) and the cookies came in handy...I don't feel guilty at all because they keep me away from much worse things!

Sounds great, Amy! I like that word -- snacky! I think I will use it.

What do you ladies think of fasting? I noticed that Pampam fasted for 10-11 days and ended up losing 24 pounds in 3 weeks! I think I am going to ask her how she feels about it. I think that fasting for a few days could be a good way for me to re jump start my raw food program. I have been pretty discouraged about not losing weight, so that could be a good option for me.

Well, I am definitely going to do a triathlon. Either in DC in September or in Philly with some friends from college in July or August. I feel pretty good about my swimming and biking abilities. However, I have never liked/been very good at running. Amy, do you have some suggestions for me since you have already done several triathlons? I am actually getting really excited about the prospect!

Remember last semester when I was spinning in the morning and swimming at some point during the day? I LOVED it! I kinda feel like I don't have time for it now, but I really really want to try to get back into it. I felt great and very fit when I was both spinning and swimming each day. It has been really tough for me to get out of bed early lately, but I think that drinking more water and fasting might help. Eating at night, even fruit, makes it really tough for me to get up in the morning.

Well, as you can see, I am not in the best place food/exercise-wise. I am still trying to find my perfect balance and get into a routine. Not as easy as I thought!

Danielle, I forgot to tell you last night. Don't apologize for anything that you write here! This is a safe place and you should feel free to write whatever you want. Food is a source of issues for many (most?) people. We are fortunate to have a place to share these issues with others.

Oh, I forgot to do an actual check-in :-).

I woke up this morning feeling like crap from the cooked food that I ate at the shabbat dinner. This one was particularly challenging because it was with people that i didn't now. I actually did not know one single person, and it was in Baltimore (took me almost 2 hours to get there!). There were a bunch of different courses and it was quite a fancy meal. I don't know if I could have stayed raw even if I really tried. Anyway, I did have a fantastic time despite the bad food issues. Met some really great people, and I am glad that I went.
I am trying to figure out what to do about the shabbat dinner thing. I LOVE doing Shabbat dinners every Friday night. I am not very religious, but I love the Jewish community and culture. Doing a community shabbat dinner for me every Friday is the perfect ending to a week, and I just don't feel complete without one. That being said, unless I host one myself or go to a good friend's house where I can bring a salad, it is really difficult to stay raw. There is almost always some sort of salad. However, if I don't eat anything else I really draw attention to myself. Once I do that, if I mention that I am a raw vegan then I feel like people put me in a box and it is more difficult to talk about other things. I don't want to have a conversation about raw veganism at every shabbat dinner for the rest of my life! Quite a predicament. Do you ladies have some thoughts/advice on the matter?

So I woke up this morning dehydrated and just feeling awful from the cooked food and couldn't make it to spinning. I ended up just biking to school. I bought 4 1-L bottles of Smart water and plan to drink those before I leave school. I plan to do work here all day, and then run on the treadmill for 45-60 min in my building when I get home. I have plans with a friend later tonight, but I am going to suggest that we go to Teasim, this awesome tea place so that I can get tea rather than going to a bar and getting wine. I don't like bars much anyway.

So far the fast is EASY because I still feel full from last night and the thought of eating anything makes me feel yucky. I think it will get more difficult later tonight and tomorrow. Will keep you updated.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/16/2008 05:20PM by optimist4life.

Becky, I must agree heartily with Amy; you need to be very proud of your raw accomplishments so far! I think that if we focus more on what we've done that we feel happy with - and we all seem to be having emtional/food issues right now - and wayyyy less on what we perceive to be our screwups, we'd actually be a lot kinder and less harsh with ourselves. This is a process and we're still not that far from the starting line; its going to take time for us to find the right running (walking, for me!) rhythum suitable for each of us, and to learn how to adapt our strategies to cope with those minor bumps & curves in the road.

I don't know exactly what to say about your challenge with Shabbat dinners; if you do choose to, what you could try is just having your raw salad (I'd have something else to eat beforehand, maybe), and then if someone does feel the urge to single you out, you can answer that you're still somewhat full from earlier in the day and that," 'just' salad is fine, thank you". But...you know what...you don't even have to do that...just say that, "This is all I want, thank you." Don't feel defensive,don't make a big deal about it and don't even mention raw veganism. If other people don't feel the need to defend what they eat (most of the time,anyway) please try not to feel the pressure to. You never know, maybe that person is feeling envious and a little guilty about your eating healthier than everyone else?

Hope I didn't ramble there...

Hope you feel better soon...! And am happy that your intake went well...

You guys seem to be doing great things exercise-wise...running? swimming? triathlon? Fantastic...but not me! I am so proud of you all, being so focused on nurturing your bodies, spirits and minds through diet, exercise and supportive feedback. I will walk or hike all day, or do an hour 1/2 of Kundalini or Iyengar yoga, but running is not my cup of tea (unless its included in soccer - used to play a while ago)!

My eating was pretty sucky yesterday, so not commenting on it other to say that at least one major thing I was dealing with was resolved - it was bugging me so much that I was scary depressed... Today I decided to choose a "guilty cheat pleasure" to have around the next day or two as I plough through a few other things things right now, instead of reaching for the other horrible stuff that is lurking around the house. When I'm really stressed out I go for a big crunch,so today, as I ran out for a few things with which to restock my secret fruit/food stash, I threw in along with the bags of grapes, red plums, mandarins, oranges,etc ... two bags of Terra Chips (Sweet Potato & Sweet Potato and Beet). It looked so weird!!! But at least that healthier than the frightful stuff I ingested yesterday, and because of the slight sweetness, I won't have the urge to dump cheese all over them. I know this is temporary, so I'm not going to have a cow about it...

Amy and Becky, hope you're doing well!

I'll try to check in later...

Soraya: Glad to hear you are back on track. I know how tough it can be to do so after you feel like you have gone off the deep end. But getting back on track right away is great!!

Quick check in for me:
I didn't manage to drink all of those Smart Waters at school -- guess I was being overly ambitious. So far today I have had 2L of smart water & a large cup of green tea.
I also swam a mile and rode my bike to school, to the pool, and home from the pool.

Still not feeling hungry at all -- even when I went to the grocery store to buy some more water :-). I'll do one more check-in before bed.

Hi girls! I'm home in VT now. It's so nice to not be racing around! I'll be bored in a day, but by then it'll be time to head back to LA :-)

Becky, welcome back! You definitely have A LOT to be proud of. 13 days raw is more than 99% of the population will ever do, and it's a huge thing for your health. I am coming to believe more & more that a cooked treat once in a while is no big deal. For example, I wanted hummus today but nowhere here sells raw hummus, or raw tahini to make it. So I got some regular organic locally-made hummus. There's only chickpeas, tahini, EVOO, garlic, salt, pepper & lemon in it. Can't be horrible for me, right? It was the best cooked hummus I've had outside of Greece, too. Anyway good luck w/ your fast! I suck at fasts but I will be offering you support! Listen to your body.

I have to go get dinner ready (family dinner for the first time in a long time!) so I'm just going to list my meals today:

-apple & 1 c. pineapple (yay for different fruit!)
*3 mile run, 10 mins. incline walk, 15 mins. abs*
-handful of raisins and about 4 raw almonds; 2 roma tomatoes & handful of baby carrots
-lara bar, banana
-another banana, then half an hour later, a handful of baby carrots w/ the aforementioned hummus
-about to make a big salad w/ mesclun greens, romaine, red & yellow pepper, carrots, a huge beefsteak tomato, cucumber and vinegar. I forgot to get raw ACV so I'll have to deal w/ balsamic & red wine vinegar.
-maybe another apple

The run this morning was my first run in a month & a day and it went well! I don't feel like I lost any fitness or anything. It felt good to get back.

I'll comment more tomorrow or later tonight!

Thanks for your support, Danielle. How exciting that you didn't lose any fitness from not running. It sounds like you have been working out a lot, so it makes sense that it was easy for you to get back into running.

My friend suggested a wine bar instead. He is taking me out, so I didn't want to be a pain. But now I really don't want to break my fast on some wine! Hmmm...maybe I'll order a club soda? We shall see.

I am a little concerned about how not hungry I am! I guess my calories from yesterday have kept me feeling full all day. I think I am going to try to fast all day tomorrow as well. Then Monday I'll re-asses. I think a 10 day fast is WAY to long for me. I'll start with 2-3 days and see how that goes. What do you all know about fasting? I don't know much so any advice you can offer will be much appreciated!

As always, great to hear from everyone!

I had a relaxing day today...just did a light workout and read/watched TV. I ate mostly raw too:

B: fresh squeezed OJ, pineapple chunks
Snack: mini oranges (literally the size of a golf ball...these are seedless and delicious!)
Lunch: some grapes, walnuts, raisins, and avocado
Snack: Banana
Workout: 50 minute run/walk, plus about 30 mins of pilates/yoga
Dinner: huge salad with organic greens, mung bean sprouts, tomatoes, corn, and some organic italian dressing (both the corn and dressing were not raw)...some more walnuts/raisins, then about 4 bites of a vegan cookie (again not raw but I stopped myself, lol)

Have a great day everyone...Danielle, have a safe trip home!

Well, I decided that 1 day of fasting was enough for me. Back to being raw today. I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of fruit. Yum!

So far today I have eaten:
-apple
-box of raspberries
-box of blueberries

I am going to do a week of eating only fruits and veggies -- as much as I want whenever I want. But no eating after 8pm. I'll see how that makes me feel and where it puts me weight-wise.

I actually really enjoyed fasting! I have been doing a bit of internet research on it. People suggest to only do 24-36 hour fasts otherwise you risk messing up your metabolism. I think I might try to fast once a week or once every other week for 24 hours just to let my body rest a bit.

I have a long day of editing ahead of me, so I am not sure if I will make it to the pool. I'll try though. I really want to get in a work-out.

Have a good day ladies! Thanks for your ongoing support. It really, really helps!

Hola chicas!

Soraya, how are things going for you? I'm sorry to hear that you were so depressed, that can definitely be scary. You have a great attitude towards allowing yourself a small "cheat" and not feeling guilty! You need to be chill about that stuff right now while you get through more complicated/important things.

Becky, I LOVE days when I eat just fresh fruits & veggies! They are so cleansing and energizing! It's amazing. I hope it goes well for you! Good job for listening to your body and realizing that one day of fasting was enough.

Amy, thanks for the safe trip wishes!

Today's been nice & relaxing. I got in a good 40 min. treadmill run and have just been chilling out all day. I'm going to dinner later at a place with a great salad bar, so I'm looking forward to that.

-4.5 bananas (half of one was bad), 10 raw cashews (ate late & was very hungry!)
*run- a little over 4 miles*
-baby carrots & a big tomato w/ hummus; an apple
-probably a banana
-salad bar- greens, veggies, vinegar & a bit of olive oil (if they have that stuff- otherwise just plain salad/veg)
-another apple or banana

Danielle: Have fun at home! BTW, you never gave us the date update. Hope it went well!

I'll do my daily check-in as I sit here and eat dinner:

-apple
-box of raspberries
-box of blueberries
-apple
*swam a mile
1/2 orange, bowl of pineapple, apple
-box of raisins
-orange
-salad: romaine lettuce, carrots, celery, broccoli, purple onion, mushrooms, cucumbers, purple cabbage

I am very happy to be back on track, and am looking forward to a week of just fruits and veggies!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2008 12:52AM by optimist4life.

Hey, everyone!

Just wanted to let you know that even when I haven't the energy to post, or am feeling the blahs - or even feeling fine - it does me the world of good just to share your experiences vicariously; I am grateful that you are willing to be so open with each other / us! I look forward to popping in here just to check on everyone, even in those times where I may not comment much or at all...

And thanks for the understanding & encouragement that you've so graciously extended to me. I feel like I'm going through the wringer right now - more than usual, and I am not coping well. And my chronic insomnia is NOT helping...grumblegrumble...

And, yes, Danielle, I am definitely going to chill regarding certain things right now - like eating 100% raw all the time - if/when I have to while I take some time for working on some critical stuff. Major {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} to you and the other ladies for being so sweet.

Time to do my check-in for yesterday and today before I drag my butt to bed - I'll try to rest even though I'll problably not get much/any sleep ;( **feeling grumpy and tired...bear with me!**

Yesterday: (not that hungry)
water, then smoothie w. 3 bananas and 2 cups mixed berries
bag of red grapes
1/2 bag of large black grapes
1 1/2 cukes, tomatoes, sprinkle of Celtic sea salt
1/2 bunch kale with 1/2 avocado
**sweet potato chips

Today:
water, juice of 5 oranges and 1 grapefruit (yuMMMMMMMM)
10 clementines
other 1/2 bag of black grapes
3 red plums
fruit smoothie - 3 nanas & 2 cups mixed berries
2 cups cauliflower (another yummmmmmm moment)
1/2 bunch kale w. 1/2 avocado
handful of cashews
**baked sweet potato

Have a peaceful day/night!

Soraya, thanks for the nice message! It makes me happy that you look forward to checking in here. I, too, really appreciate the support of everyone on this board!

Becky, I am impressed by your one day fast. I know many people fast frequently, but I have never even made it a whole day before, only until like 5pm.

Ok so just minutes ago I had a mini freak out. The cause: my roommate (a stick thin Asian woman who could eat ice cream all day and still look that way) brought home a digital scale. Not only that, but she had to leave it IN THE LIVING ROOM, and even bothered to show me how great it was because it can show both kilograms for her and pounds for me, lol. Anyway, I couldn't resist getting on it and I was so upset by the number. I am still a healthy weight for my height but it just depressed me so much to be wayyyyy heavier than I was last year at this time (granted I had an eating disorder then, but still). The sad thing is I have been feeling pretty good about my body lately. I had a great run and did yoga and even some meditation this morning! Why did I let that number get me down???? Who the hell really cares????? Ugh. I do believe that eating mostly raw will get me to the weight that my body naturally wants to be at, and I guess I just need to accept that that weight might be a little higher than I would like.

Ok rant over! There are much more important things in life and I refuse to spend another minute being upset about this. Here was my day:

AM Workout(got up at 5:30 for this!): 3 mile run, some abs/arms/yoga stretches...then 5 minutes of meditation (my first attempt and it went pretty well!)
B: about 8oz fresh squeezed OJ, 3 bananas, and a generous amount of walnuts/raisins
L: a medium papaya and organic lettuce/cilantro salad
Snack: steamed veggies and minestrone soup (my only cooked and not heavy on calories)...plus a lot of green tea
Dinner: grapes, then a salad with organic oak leaf lettuce/tomatoes/and cilantro, with fresh squeezed lemon/sea salt/and pepper on top...this was delicious! Still raw and a great change from ACV.

I hope you all have a fantastic day!!!!

Amy: I am so sorry to hear about your frustration! I am beginning to think that standing on the scale is a bad idea. I mean, if you feel happy with how you look and feel, and are comfortable with your eating and exercise habits, the number on the scale is just an arbitrary number! Maybe ask your roommate to put it in her room, or just don't stand on it. Also, every scale tends to have its nuances. It is highly possible that the measure isn't completely accurate. Whatever it is, I think it is probably best for you to avoid the scale.

I am also feeling really frustrated about my weight. Granted, I have cheated a bit. However, the majority of the time I have been eating raw and exercising -- essentially since October. It is now February, and my weight is just about exactly the same. Sometimes up a few pounds, sometimes down a few pounds, but really the same. Is this because I have been eating too much fruit sugar, lara bars, eating at night? I am a little bit losing hope that raw foods is the right thing for me. Like I said, I'll eat only fruits and veggies for a week, not eat anything after 8pm. If I STILL don't lose any weight from doing this, then I am going to re-assess. Maybe raw food just isn't right for me. Do any of you have advice for me?

I have an appointment with an endocrinologist next month to see if I have hypothyroidism. It runs in my family and between my hair situation and inability to lose weight, I am thinking that maybe I have it as well.

Anyway food for me so far today:

-apple, banana
-salad: greens, spinach, cucumber, jiccima, red & green pepper, carrot, artichoke hearts, vinegar & a tiny bit of olive oil.
-banana, green tea

Sorry to be down about raw foods, I think there are a lot of great things about eating raw. However, maybe my body is just trying to tell me this isn't the right thing for me.

Okay, quick check in before bed:

-apple, banana
-salad: greens, spinach, cucumber, jiccima, red & green pepper, carrot, artichoke hearts, vinegar & a tiny bit of olive oil.
-banana, green tea
*swam a mile
-apple, box of berries, a few carrots & a few stalks of celery
-spinach salad: spinach, tomatoes, purple onion, kalamata olives
-a few almonds (couldn't help myself!)

have a good night, ladies!

Becky, I think it is a good idea to get checked for hypothyroidism considering your hair loss and the fact that it runs in your family. I can certainly understand why you are doubting whether raw is right for you. I do think you have a good plan to eat fruits/veggies and see where you are in a week. A week is totally reasonable and it's not like you're saying "I'm going to be 100 percent raw forever no matter what."

As for me I am still happy with my raw/cooked balance...I think with my background I am just not ready to enter something as strict as 100 percent raw. Maybe I will over time, who knows. I am just going to let my body guide me!

Speaking of this, today I have had more cooked food than usual. I am totally okay with this because I have many days that are 90-100% raw. Here is what I've had so far:

AM Workout (I am so glad to be getting back into AM running...I missed it so much!): 4.25 mile run plus a few pull ups and stretching
B: 4 bananas and some raw sunflower seeds
Snack: mini seedless oranges and green tea
Lunch: small salad with tomatoes, carrots, cukes, and corn/vegan thai curry with brown rice (my school cafeteria has this about once a week and I love it!)/small portion of dark chocolate
Dinner: I think that lunch will hold me for a long time, so probably just a repeat of last night's salad: organic greens/cukes/other veggies with fresh squeezed lemon/sea salt/and pepper. I'll probably have some kind of fruit before the salad as well.

One thing that I am really happy as a result of this process is that I have truly become a vegan. I have eaten a mostly vegan diet for a long time now, and I am happy to have eliminated all animal products from my diet. I feel like it is my small contribution to the world. I don't volunteer or do as much for others as I probably should, but veganism allows me to make a positive difference in the world with every meal. It's really no extra effort but if more people did it it would really add up!

Ok, I'll get off my high horse now ...hope you ladies have a wonderful day...my mom and friend are flying in tomorrow to stay with me!

Hi Amy:
I am really happy to hear that you have found a comfortable place for yourself eating raw & cooked. It sounds like you are happy and doing well with your eating.

Thanks for your positive feedback and support regarding my dilemma with raw food. I feel very torn about the whole thing. I REALLY want to be a raw foodist, but I also really want to get down to 140. It is only about 25 pounds away for me, but feels millions of miles. I just know I'll feel so much more comfortable at 140. I just get really angry and frustrated sometimes that I work SO hard and am SO disciplined most of the time, yet it feels almost impossible to lose weight. But, who is to say another approach is better? I did the South Beach Diet a couple of years ago, which worked really well for me. However, it required a lot of animal products -- fish, eggs, cheese, etc. I just feel kinda guilty when I eat non-vegan things. Especially fish! And I have been trying to avoid dairy like the plague, even when I have eaten some non-raw things. Sigh...

Anyway, I was looking back at some of my old posts from December when I really lost some weight pretty quickly in a short period of time. I was trying to figure out what I was doing then that I am not doing now. First of all, it was during finals so I had the entire day open to me. That made it much easier to do spinning and swim a mile each day. With my crazy schedule, it is now nearly impossible for me to do that unless I want to sleep only about 5 hours, which is definitely not enough for me.

Then I was looking at what I had been eating. Here is one day for me, and I think I ate pretty much the same thing each day.

b: 6 oz of blackberries, 10 soaked almonds
s: banana
l: salad: baby spinach, cucumber, celery, red pepper, carrots, sprouts, cherry tomatoes, bulgur wheat (soaked, not cooked), 1/2 avocado, oil and vinegar
-about 30 grapes
s: orange & 30 more grapes
d: salad: baby spinach, cucumber, celery, red pepper, carrots, sprouts, cherry tomatoes, bulgur wheat (soaked, not cooked), 1/2 avocado, oil and vinegar

So, what is different here? First of all, I wasn't really eating lara bars or dried fruit. Second of all, my meals contained a mix of protein, fat, and grains. Notice how my lunch and dinner both had sprouts (protein), avocado & olive oil (fat), and bulgur wheat (grains).

Also, my day summaries would start of something like "well, it is 8pm and I am done eating for the day." I did this for several days in a row. I think that eating a pretty substantial lunch and dinner made it easier not to eat after 8pm. Tonight, for example, the almonds and spinach salad I ate at 10pm because I didn't eat enough after swimming and was hungry. Broke my 8pm rule!

Sorry to go into so much detail about this, and repeat myself over and over. However, I do think that looking at my past successful behaviors, and trying to emulate them now will be a good way for me to stay raw. Which, I really really want to do!

I think I can do all of the above, except exercise 2x a day. I think that swimming at some point throughout the day is the only thing that is feasible. Also, it has gotten warmer so I have started biking to and from school, which is another added mini work-out.

So...tomorrow I am going to write you an entry at about 8pm and will be done with eating for the day. I will stick to my just fruits and veggies plan for the rest of the week, and then maybe go back to eating the way that I was above.

Ok, thanks for listening and for your ongoing support with something that has become QUITE a struggle for me!

Ok, it is 7:05 and I am done for the day.

Here is my grand total:

-melon, pineapple
-salad – greens, spinach, carrots, purple onions, green & red pepper, pickles, artichoke hearts, olive oil & vinegar.
-box of berries
-salad – greens, spinach, carrots, purple onions, green & red pepper, pickles, artichoke hearts, olive oil & vinegar.
-apple

Have a good night, ladies!

Becky, good job not eating after 7pm! Never apologize for "rambling" here! That is what this thread is for.

So today I am really excited because my mom and one of my best friends from home are flying in. I have Thurs and Fri off from work so my mom and I are going to do some trekking up North to get out of Bangkok. My friend is traveling on her own while we do this, and she'll come back and stay with me after my mom leaves. I have to admit that it does upset me to think that I won't have as much control over my eating during this time. I am okay with a bit of cooked food each day, but it is so much easier to mentally handle when I choose to eat cooked food because I truly want it, not because I am with someone else at a restaurant with nothing raw. It's not like the US where you can get a salad anywhere! I don't trust produce here unless I buy and make it myself.

So anyway, this all starts tonight because my friend asked if I would take her out for authentic Thai food. My plan is to eat fruit all day and get cooked veggies there. I am okay with that. I think that is a pretty feasible plan for the trip with my mom too, since there is fruit available wherever you go in Thailand!

I don't know how much access I'll have to the internet while I'm away with my mom, so bear with me if I don't post for a few days...but here is my day today:

AM Workout: 3 mile run with a pretty intense strength workout mixed in: 12 pullups, 30 second flexed arm hang, 15 pushups, 10 dips, 5 minutes of abs, stretching.
B (just finished this): 2 bananas and 1/2 pineapple
L: Probably a big bag of grapes...these just sound so good right now, maybe some fresh squeezed OJ
D: Various kinds of cooked vegetables (I know now how to say "I'm a vegan" in Thai so they wont add stuff like fish sauce! I am so excited to practice my language skills, lol

So obviously that is a very rough estimate of my day...hope you ladies are doing well and I will check in whenever I can over the next few days!

Hello, ladies! Hope your day is going well...

Becky, I second the motion to check for hypo. thyroid. I had a tangle with that a few years back and it was veryyy interesting. I'd put on a good twenty+ pounds in a few months - never gained that much in my life - and it would. not. budge. My kinesiologist (sp? My brain's a little fried at the moment) took one look at my neck and knew I was in trouble; fun part was that my doctor totally missed the signs of it.

Please don't get discouraged. As you said, it could also be a variable in your present routine. Just from my previous experience, I noticed that every time I was under major stressors, I'd pack on the weight / it hung on for dear life ...

I've been kinda discouraged myself lately, but something I read yesterday helped me to get my focus back. I'm going to sit with this discomfort from my transitioning, and I will get through it, as I have before...its the process that can royally suck and are tempted to avoid / try to lessen! I have to eat fully raw through this; its FAR more stressful on me if I don't. I've felt horrible for the past few days, never mind having a much shorter fuse than usual, depressing lethargy, feeling hopelessness, etc... Give me raw and a struggle or two: I can't take this anymore! My body can't deal with cooked stuff anymore - but please don't read that as judgement on anyone else as everyone is different! I'm just saying MY body's shouting at me loud and clear right now, and cussin' me out! Please continue to do whatever supports your own growth and progress!!

One more thing...let's end any apologising for sharing /"rambling", please!!! No more! You're safe here - let's share what we need to in order to better support each other, okay?

Love you all!