Danielle: Date Adam! I think that the answer is so clear that you already know it yourself. Even if you DO get into a relationship with Nate you will constantly wonder if he did it because you gave him an ultimatum. Also, if he is so hot and cold when you are not in a relationship, just think of how hot and cold he will be once you are in one. People don't change. We can't expect them to. Sure, people do make minor changes (or even big changes) in their behavior. However, when it comes to people we should really expect the status quo. We are naturally creatures of habit.
You said it yourself -- Adam would be a great boyfriend, he is clearly into you, and he will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated.
Just my two cents.

Well, I gave blood today. I was a little worried they wouldn't let me because my Iron might be too low, but my Iron was actually fine. Also, I was happy to see that all of my numbers are great! 60 pulse 100/64 blood pressure. I know, it is low, but I exercise a lot and rarely get stressed out. Better to be low than high, right?
But...I passed out. As I was almost done, I suddenly got really cold and felt that I was going to pass out. I did. Weird feeling! When I woke up they FORCED me to drink soda. I kept on begging for juice, that I didn't want to drink refined sugar but they wouldn't have it. They first tried to give me a coke, but I said definitely not that. So I had a sprite! My first soda in like 2 years. Oh well, what can you do?
I am thinking of adding eggs into my diet. I know that I said that I wanted to be 100% raw, but I can just feel that I am not getting enough protein and I am really worried about my hair situation.

Here is my grand total for the day:

6am *hour long spinning class
7:30am: 2 oranges, 2 apples, 30 almonds
1pm: 1/2 salad: greens, red pepper, carrots, tomatoes, sprouted chick peas, parsley, olive oil & vinegar
4pm: bowl of melon
6pm: sprite, banana
6:30pm: the other half of my salad, another banana
8:30pm: 2 eggs, a few almonds, some baby carrots

So I guess that was 6 meals today. I feel good. Am going to see how adding 2 eggs now and again to my diet makes me feel. I know, not raw and not vegan. But then I am asking myself, am I doing this for my health or out of principle? Is eating eggs bad for my health? Is not eating eggs good for my health? I think as far as cooked food goes, eggs are pretty benign.
What do you ladies think?

Wow, lots of activity on the thread...I like it!

Danielle, I agree with Becky's thoughts on the fact that people do not always change, even though we really want them to. Tough thing to hear...and obviously we do not know you or him personally, but I think it is a pretty fair statement.

Becky, I think it's fine to play around with your diet. It is best to do what you feel is good for your body. Really, no one else can tell you what that is...but one thing about eggs: I would try to get the cage-free ones!

Ok so I basically work 3 hours a day which means I'm sitting around waiting for my job to start, lol. I'm too lazy to bike all the way home, especially because yesterday I got a flat tire while doing so...so I think I'll just eat a nice leisurely lunch here at school...their salad bar has actually been hitting the spot the past few days!

Here is today:
B (done): 2 bananas, watermelon, and pineapple
L: Salad bar at school: lettuce, onion, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, and a little oil/vinegar. I may even go to the store and pick up an avocado...they are so expensive here b/c they're imported, but I am really craving one!
D: TBA, whatever appeals to me which will probably be fruit.

As usual there will be more fruit throughout the day...I tend to snack a lot. I also may go out with some Americans tonight...might be nice to escape the Thai culture and hang out with people who speak more than very basic English!

Hi
Another option to getting protein, if you dont want to eat cooked food is to eat fish or meat. Pickled they are techinally raw becasue you didnt apply heat but it does change the texture and taste considerably. To me its even nicer pickled than cooked. I know its not for everyone but its just a thought. Pickling is easy and depending on how 'cooked' you want it it can be ready in as little as 2 hours or keep for a few days jarred in the fridge

I like to use lemon juice,olive oil salt, pepper and any spices lying arround and a big bunch of fresh herbs

hey girls. i had a pretty traumatic day today. i was attacked this morning while i was out running. i was maybe 20 mins. into my run when someone came up from behind and hit me really hard in the back of my head. i didn't fall down and he hit me again and again til i fell, then continued to hit me in the head with something- the cops & docs thought he was using some kind of spiked weapon or spiked brass knuckles or whatever those are, i'm not sure. i was terrified but i surprised myself by staying as calm as possible, screaming bloody murder and kicking him as hard as i could. it was dark and i couldn't see much, and there were very few cars passing (maybe 2 cars passed while he was attacking me but they either didn't hear/see anything or just didn't stop...jerks). i fought him as hard as i could even though my vision and hearing were fading out. i knew if he kept hitting me i'd pass out and he could do whatever he wanted with me, so i focused on staying conscious. i guess he realized i was causing a scene and was going to keep fighting, b/c all of a sudden he just stopped and ran away in the direction he came from. at first i thought he must have wanted my ipod, but he didn't take it. i honestly think he was trying to knock me unconscious so he could drag me somewhere and rape me.

anyway, i managed to get home ok- another woman i passed was out walking in the area and i warned her what i encountered and she helped me out a little. i lost a lot of blood and kept continuing to bleed for 8 hours, so was pretty pale & weak. my vision and my hearing is still a little off, the docs say i most likely have a concussion. anyway, i filed a police report and the cops came out- the chief of police of the hollywood PD came to my apt. to check on me and tell me he was personally going to go to the crime scene and look for the guy. the paramedics came, too, and said i needed stitches. my best friend took me to the ER- god bless her, this is the second time she's saved my life- and they were great there. they took me right away. i ended up getting 26 stitches- i have 4 big lacerations from whatever he used to hit me. i am doing ok right now, mentally and physically. i feel pretty out of it, but i also feel strong, not as scared or vulnerable as i thought i'd feel. i feel a little empowered b/c i survived and i fought the bastard off. i didn't let him win. but i also feel pretty scared and alone right now, too. just another day i had to make it through though, you know?

at any rate, i am SO THANKFUL that this is all that happened. it could have been a million times worse. if i had lost consciousness or not been able to fight him, he could have raped and even killed me. if he had hit my face, i could have been blinded or maimed for life. if he had had a gun he could have paralyzed or killed me. i am walking away from it with staples in my head, but i have my life, my future, my brain and my strength.

my bosses are at sundance but they actually called me- the girl i work with told everyone b/c i forgot to tell her not to. but anyway they called to check up on me and let me know that if i need anything, they are there. they were genuinely shaken up. they even said we're going to talk when they get back about how they can help me pay the ER bill since i have no insurance right now due to my past anorexia. and really, this incident has opened my eyes to how many GOOD, caring people there are in the community who devote their lives to helping other people in need. the cops were so patient and kind. the paramedics were obviously so bothered by what happened even though they see stuff like this every day. the people at the ER addressed my mental health just as much as my physical health and kept commending me on how brave i was. and of course my friends and coworkers continue to amaze me with how much support they offer. my poor best friend was devastated and she really pulled me through the day and was the voice of reason for me.

i can't believe nate hasn't called though. you know, he was the first person i called when i finally made it back home and collapsed on the floor in a pile of blood and tears. he could barely say anything human to me, and he hasn't called to make sure i'm even alive. i was attacked today and he doesn't care. i am really so hurt by this. you girls are right, he's not worth my time or energy and i'm just fooling myself if i think anything good can come from him. i'm disappointed beyond words. it's like he can't feel anything- or he can't let himself feel it.

i haven't told my parents. it was hard talking to them tonight and pretending everything was fine, but really everything IS fine and i'm going to be ok. but i think it might literally kill my father. he has dealt with so much tragedy in his life and i don't know if he could handle picturing what happened to me and, even more, what else could have happened. and my poor mother would probably need to take even more anxiety medication and would just worry every second. they can't do anything to help and that would hurt them so much. i'm still thinking about telling them b/c their support would greatly help me, but it's selfish to just consider my own needs. it might do more harm than good if i told them.

anyway.. i haven't eaten much today but i'm pretty nauseous from the concussion. i'm going to lie down and try to rest.

it's horrible that something like this can happen. please be careful, girls. they say one in four women will be raped in her lifetime. i always used to think something like this could never happen to me. i survived it...and i didn't get raped...i refuse to let this asshole take anything from me. i'm a strong, healthy, smart girl with a bright future. he's a sick, twisted, pathetic excuse for a man who will hopefully spend a large part of his life in a 10 X 10 cell. i have my brains, my dreams and my optimism and i am going to be ok

oh and as soon as i feel better i'm getting a gym membership no more running outside past dark for me! especially since the cops think he was stalking me for days or weeks...creep.

i am glad that you are okay. i often go out before sunlight and get quite freaked out sometimes. but i just stay focused on everything around me. i glad you were able to fightthat creep off. good luck to you. hope your injuries heal well and fast.

Danielle: I am so horrified to hear what happened to you, but so relieved that things did not escalate into a more serious situation and that you are safe. Yes, thank ggodness that there actually are absolutely wonderful people still out in the world - our angels in skin, as I like to call them!

I've been reading this blog every day for a while, now, and vicariously sharing all your (and the other ladies'!) victories and struggles, finding food for thought and encouragement... so I want to give you much love, and best wishes. Take time to rest, and please keep us updated as to how you are doing!

hey thanks brokenbrooke & soraya. your kind words mean a lot.

unfortunately today i feel like crap. really depressed, scared and lonely. NOTHING from nate. i can't believe it. he has no idea if i'm ok or what that bastard even did to me. just nothing... i am so disappointed in him. i could really use him to lean on and help get me through this. i was so scared and alone last night. i couldn't really sleep or do anything. today i just find myself sitting around staring thinking about nothing for like half an hour at a time...it's really strange ad i've never felt like this before. i have other friends i can count on but i don't want them here. i don't know, i just want the next few days to be over.

i haven't had much of an appetite. i'll try to eat something later. i look pretty pale & skinny which kind of scares me.

Danielle: This is terrible! I sent you a personal message. Check your email.

Danielle: Just checking up on you. I just sent you a PM; take good care of your self...

Becky & Soraya, thank you both so much for showing that you care and looking out for me! I replied to both your PMs and I really really appreciate your kindness more than I can say.

I was having a horrible day yesterday. I felt surprisingly ok on Friday- I felt kind of empowered and strong. Then I realized that I didn't get away b/c I was strong or smart or fought hard enough, I got away b/c I was lucky. There was no way in hell I could have won a fight with a 200+ pound man with a weapon through just strength or brains, and he really held my life in his hands the entire time. He could have ended my life at any point. That scared me shitless, and by that time my friends had all gone and I felt really vulnerable and just drained, so of course I couldn't sleep, and then I was overtired all of yesterday and just depressed.

Today started much better. In an attempt to feel somewhat normal, I got up, showered, put on real clothes (as opposed to VS Pink pajamas...lol) and went out and did my usual Sunday morning errands. I'm not going to lie, it was kind of tough. My head was pounding and I'm still feeling weak, so carrying lots of cat litter/groceries/toiletries wasn't fun and I probably should have asked a friend to help. But due to the fact that I'm so damn independent I sucked it up and did it. Then a few friends came over to "check in on me." I love them to death but the way they look at me makes me cringe. I can see the pity and the "that could have been me" look in their eyes. The way they talk to me is the way you hold a glass with a crack in it- it's like they have to be careful b/c I could break at any second. Which I guess is true, but I'm still me! I just want things to go back to normal NOW. It's not going to happen til these staples are gone and the bruises heal. I have to be patient and remember that I could be in a lot worse shape right now!

I managed to go for a walk in the hills today, which made me so much happier. I didn't even have to walk much slower than usual. I did some abs/arms exercises too. Tomorrow I'm joining the gym that's a block away from my building, and I'm really excited to do some spinning or some other low-impact exercises. Cardio just makes me so much happier.

Food for the day-

-a mango & 3 bananas (yes! appetite!)
-cashew cookie lara bar
*50 min. hilly walk, abs & arms*
-apple, banana
-a handful of baby carrots w/ salsa, and a raw energy bite
-salad w/ romaine, baby romaine, carrots, cucs, tomatoes, red & yellow peppers, half an avo, raw ACV

That's a little more normal I think..thanks to the avocado. It's more fat than I like to have in a day but I really could care less right now.

I still haven't told my parents and I still don't think I'm going to. I don't want to hurt them. I told one of my sisters b/c I wanted her to understand that things like this can happen to anyone and she has to be safe (she's pretty careless sometimes, like most 20 year olds). She has been SO great and supportive and there for me- it's awesome b/c we've never been super close, but I really feel how much she cares. It was hard telling her and making her upset, but I'm glad I shared this with her b/c I needed her support, and I also need her to be safe. If anything ever happened to my sisters or myself, my parents would fall apart.

Becky, how are things going with you? You must be busy lately huh? I wonder where Amy is...probably out eating delicious mangoes and papayas right off the trees

Hey ladies,

Danielle: WOW. I have not been on the internet since last Friday b/c they are so slow to install it in Thailand. I came back on this morning and was shocked to read your story. I am so incredibly sorry for what happened to you, and I am also grateful that you were strong enough to share it with us on the board. It really hit home for me because I am also a young, 23 year old woman who runs alone in the dark. I have thought about what I would do if something like that happened to me, and I hope that I would have the strength to fight like you did. They say the absolute best thing you can do is be as loud as possible and make a scene. I am so proud of you for doing that and scaring the man off. Who knows, by sharing your story you may very likely have helped someone else in the future. I know that I will never forget what happened to you.

I am sorry that you haven't gotten what you wanted from Nate, and I hope that you continue to be impressed by the compassion of others in your life. It is evident from your post that there are many, many people who care about you.

I look forward to continuing to hear from you (and Becky! and anyone else who wants to join) because I really look forward to reading these posts daily.

Danielle: I could not go to sleep until I'd checked one last time to see how you were doing today! So glad to see your posting and to get your response!

No, you weren't just lucky, you were blessed - I can say that because in my case, when I was confronted by my assailant there was no-one around to help me, and I was quite ill at the time AND without my voice to boot! I knew he had a gun (was a cop), and because of my state/health I knew I couldn't fight him off or make a scene. He just stopped for no reason and walked away. Just walked. I cannot tell you how long my heart stopped for... that was much more than luck!!!

I understand your decision not to tell your parents...I haven't told my mom about what happened to me, either...

Take care of your beautiful self. I send you much love...and another PM!

Hi Danielle:
I am glad to hear that you are feeling better -- and am glad to hear that you have friends nearby who are supporting you and expressing their concern.
I am really proud of you, and impressed that you are strong enough to carry on as usual (even though it is difficult). You will pull through this! I am also glad to hear that you plan to start going to the gym instead of running alone at night.

I think Nate's behavior is just one more clue to you -- get rid of him. He is not boyfriend material and actually not really friend material even if he is going to be so MIA in your time of need.

Stay strong, and I am thinking of you.

Sending you my support...
Becky

Danielle, how are you feeling today? I hope all is well.

Well, I am feeling torn about eating raw. On one hand, I feel great when I eat 100% raw. However, I am really, really worried about my hair. I have type O blood, which supposedly needs more protein, according to "eat right for your blood type."
Danielle, do you know what your blood type is?
Plus, there are so many good (and healthy) cooked foods -- quinoa, brown rice, eggs, fish.

I am thinking about ways to healthfully incorporate more protein into my diet, since I know that I need it. I guess deciding what our ultimate diet is can be an ongoing and changing process. Maybe I should see a dietitian and/or hair specialist who is open-minded to alternative eating styles.

Anyway, I am going to eat all raw, except protein. I have decided to allow myself to incorporate some cooked protein into my diet to see how that goes. Still no cooked veggies or carbs. I bought cage free eggs and smoked salmon (not cooked!) to get myself started and see how it goes.

So far today:
b: 3 egg whites + mixed salad greens (with olive oil and lemon juice)
l: 2 egg omelet + mixed salad greens (with olive oil and lemon juice)
vitamins: women's one a day, calcium, b12, iron, hair, skin & nail supplement
+ my herbal hair remedy

At the weekend I ate kind of badly. The food they provided was really healthful. Lots of fruit and salads. The cooked food they served was also very good -- quinoa, brown rice, tofu, various cooked root veggies, salmon. I ate it all and felt pretty good about it. However, since I am an extreme eater I felt bad afterward and ended up totally falling off the wagon. I even ate icecream and cookies! Needless to say, I felt guilty and awful. Again, I am back home and on the wagon. This has tended to be a trend for me -- stick with something for awhile, have a bad weekend, get really off track by Sunday, and restart things on Monday. Over and over and over again. Like I said, we are creatures of habit and don't really change. So...what to do? I am feeling kind of off-kilter, needing to get back into a normal routine. I am CRAVING routine after 5+ weeks of travels. Maybe I'll feel better once I get into a routine? I really would like to sit down to speak with someone about ways to (1) fix my hair loss problem (2) get down to my desired weight (3) not be such a black and white eater -- I wish I could eat in moderation. I tend to be super super extreme, which gets me into trouble.

Well, at least I got in some good exercise this weekend. Saturday I went on a hike and then danced a lot at a dance party that we had at the retreat center. Sunday I taught Yoga Meets Dance (did I tell you that I am certified to teach Yoga Meets Dance?). That was great!

I plan to go to spinning later today and then have some fish + salad greens for dinner.

Any thoughts that you ladies have regarding my food issues would be very much appreciated. Thanks for listening (reading). I could definitely use some feedback from you both about these various issues.

Becky,
I fully support your decision to experiment with your diet. While I do believe that everyone can benefit from eating a LOT of raw foods, I myself am not quite convinced that 100% raw is for everyone. It's no secret that I have not had too many 100% days myself, but my percentages are almost always pretty high. I also completely understand you being a black and white eater. One thing that has helped me throughout this process is to not get upset with myself when I do eat cooked food. This is easier said than done, but it really makes a difference for me. If I just accept the fact that I ate something I am much less likely to let that one thing turn into a binge on various cooked foods because I've already "blown it."

I think this is a really good thing that you wrote: "I guess deciding what our ultimate diet is can be an ongoing and changing process"...don't be afraid to experiment and do what is best for you...only you can figure that out. As I said before, one thing I really strive for are vegetarian, cage free eggs...much more chicken friendly and healthier for us too..

Danielle, You are very much in my thoughts...I hope you are doing well today!

So my roommate here has started eating more fruit! It's amazing, she said she wanted to eat like me since it seems "very healthy" to her. I feel good that I've influenced someone in a positive way .

Today consisted of a lot of raw...and a few not raw foods including steamed veggies at lunch and some rice crackers with breakfast. I really should not have had the rice crackers but I'll take that as a lesson for tomorrow....other than these my raw foods today included:

B: mini bananas and oranges
L: huge salad from my school's salad bar (I am so happy that they have this or else I would not have any raw veggies!): lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, onions, broccoli, cucumbers, and oil and vinegar dressing...pommelo for dessert
D: 2 mangoes, 2 mini bananas, and a small papaya

Have a great day ladies...you two are just starting as I go to bed here

Well, I wrote an entry last night but I guess it didn't get posted here.

Amy, thanks for your thoughts and feedback. I really appreciate the support!
Awesome that your roommate is making positive changes due to your positive influence :-).

Danielle, I am thinking about you and hoping all is okay.

I am feeling good about adding more protein to my diet. I know that my body needs it, and I think it will help me take the weight off. We shall see...

Sumarry from last night:

b: 3 egg whites + mixed salad greens (with olive oil and lemon juice)
l: 2 egg omelet + mixed salad greens (with olive oil and lemon juice)
vitamins: women's one a day, calcium, b12, iron, hair, skin & nail supplement
+ my herbal hair remedy
*60 min spinning class
d: 4 oz of smoked salmon + salad (greens, celery, cucumber), olive oil and vinegar
some nuts

I missed the 5:30 spinning class today because I accidentally left my phone (alarm clock) on silent. It is disappointing because I definitely won't have time to exercise at all the rest of the day. Oh well, I will def. have time tomorrow.

So far today:
b: 2 eggwhites, a few soaked almonds
l: 2 eggwhites, a salad (salad greens, celary, cucumber)

hey girls. amy, it's good to hear from you & thanks for your support! that's awesome that your roomie is eating more fruit b/c of you

becky, i also support your decision to include non-raw protein- you have to do what your body's asking for, and it seems like your body needs more protein. let us know how you feel w/ cooked protein- i hope it works well for you! we all have different needs.

i spent most of yesterday w/ the police- i met the 2 detectives assigned to my case and we went back to the crime scene so they knew were to do the casing (where they go door-to-door to ask if people in the area heard or saw anything). then we went to the hollywood station, i met a few other cops and the captain, and the captain told them that my case is a top priority so we went to the main station in downtown LA and i got pics taken of all of the injuries/bruises. it was really weird and very draining. afterwards i went to the gym- i joined yesterday morning- and got in a great workout which made me feel sooooo much better. i did 45 mins. hard on the arc trainer and 25 easy-moderate on the bike. i can't run for a little while but the arc trainer is a good low-impact alternative.

today i got up early, worked out and then went back to the station to meet with the woman who does the composite sketches of criminals. the sketch took about 2 hours to create and it came out really well. she was great at pulling things from my memory that i didn't even know i remembered...kind of creepy. anyway i had just gotten home when one of the detectives called and said that another officer who was looking at the sketch possibly recognized the guy, so they want me to go in tomorrow morning and look at this guy's picture. it would be SO great if this was the guy but they said it's a shot in the dark, so i shouldn't get my hopes up.

god i am SO COLD right now! i don't know what's wrong w/ me, i can't stay warm. my body is still kind of weak i guess.

anyway today was/will be:

*45 mins. hill intervals on the arc trainer, 30 mins. low-intensity elliptical*
-2 small bananas, cashew cookie lara bar
-2 sm. pink lady apples
-3 bananas, 1 T raw almond butter (mmmmm)
*30 mins. low-intensity elliptical,30 mins. washboard abs class* (as long as i'm not too tired- i'm really drained right now but i think working out will help)
-going out to dinner w/ a friend- a BIG salad w/ lots of veggies & dressing on the side, hopefully. not sure where we're going yet though...

i know that's a lot of working out, but honestly it makes me feel so strong and normal. i am not one of those people who likes to lay around on the couch feeling sorry for herself, i need to keep moving. my head is fine doing low-impact cardio. i hope it'll be ok during the abs class, i'll leave if it hurts.

oh and my skin is looking dull & ruddy thanks to the excedrin i'm taking. i take 1/2 to 1 dose per day b/c i get a bad headache every morning...but even that is enough to make a noticeable difference in my skin. oh well, just a few more days and the staples will come out, and i should be fine after that. i hate taking any sort of medicine, but i guess it's better than the ibuprofen and this other stronger drug they prescribed me...

Wow, what a fiasco! Danielle, I am so proud of you and impressed that you have been staying so strong through all of this. Also, good for you for getting right to the gym and back into things. AMAZING! You are clearly a very strong person. We are here for you, so type away :-).
Did you ever hear from Nate?

Thanks, ladies, for all of your support re the protein. I was a little worried you would be annoyed at me for eating animal products. However, I am feeling like this is a good balance for me.

Here is my day:

b: 2 eggwhites, a few soaked almonds
l: 2 eggwhites, a salad (salad greens, celery, cucumber)
s: bowl of melon, 2 clementines, a few almonds
d: 2 apples, 4 dates, a few almonds + peanuts
s: granola bar (not such a good idea! I think I was hungry though because I didn't eat a real dinner).

Tomorrow I am going to get up for spinning in the early am and eat just about how I ate today. However, for dinner I plan to have a salad and smoked fish later in the evening, so I won't eat at night.

Danielle, I agree with Becky: You are doing absolutely amazing in this situation. It is really inspiring. I really hope the police are able to catch that man!

Becky, glad you are feeling more balanced with the added protein.

Ok so today I had a great breakfast of fresh squeezed OJ, 2 bananas, and papaya chunks. Then I went for a swim and was starving afterwards, and completely forgot that I had to go to a meeting with all the swim coaches. Lunch was served at the meeting and a couple weeks ago when the head coach asked me what I wanted I specified FRUIT and a VEGETABLE DISH. Apparantely to him that meant vegetables and meat, because nothing was vegetarian. He also grossly underestimated the amount of fruit I can eat, and only had one plate for four people. I was absolutely starving so I ate as much fruit as I could without seeming like an asshole, and then picked around the shrimp in one dish to get veggies, and ate rice. Afterwards I felt so down and depressed about it. The cooked food (especially the rice) made me so lethargic, ugh. I did balance it out with an all fruit dinner - pineapple, oranges, and mangoes, which made me feel better. I know it's not the end of the world but it could have so easily been avoided with a little more advanced planning on my part. Next time I will definitely eat beforehand and then just pick at fruit while I'm there.

The good news is I have no meetings or planned eating events for a while so I can just do my own thing.

Ok, that was a long rant...I'm done now! I really do know there are much more important things in the world, it's just that this is a raw foods forum and my only outlet for this kind of thing.

Have a great day girls!

Danielle: Don't be so hard on yourself! It sounds like you are doing really well. Don't let a tiny slip up (not even!) get in the way of you feeling good about your progress. Good idea to plan ahead -- that is always how I am most successful.

I am feeling good about a combo between raw food, low carb (i.e. only from fruits and veggies), and enough protein. I think my struggle in the past has been doing one thing or another. However, I think the best plan for me will be to take theories from all of these practices and finding a good balance for myself.

So far today:
b: 2 egg omelet + green salad (celery, baby greens, cucumber)
*swam a mile
l: 1/2 big salad salad (sprouted chickpeas, red pepper, celery, baby greens, cucumber) + 2 egg whites
s: orange + a few nuts (peanuts and almonds)

For dinner I'll have the other half of my salad and 4 oz of smoked salmon.

BTW, all of the eggs that I buy are cage free organic.

Swimming felt GREAT! I missed it. This semester is ridiculously busy, so it will be unrealistic for me to swim a mile and do spinning every day. I am going to shoot for one or the other 5-6 times a week, which is definitely feasible.

Danielle, how are you? I hope all is well and think about you often. Sending my support from across the country...

Danielle, I just wanted to say that I think you are doing amazingly well...you GO, woman!!! You are always in my thoughts, and I admire your strength and determination!

And Becky (hope I'm keeping all the names straight!), always listen to your body and do what's right for you - you're the one living in it, so you're the one who has to figure out / give it what it needs. Kudos for doing what you need to right now...

Thanks, Soraya! I am always a bit worried that raw foodies will think badly of me for eating animal protein. Maybe some day I can truly stay 100% raw vegan. However, I also strongly believe in listening to my body.

My grand total for the day is as follows:

b: 2 egg omelet + green salad (celery, baby greens, cucumber)
*swam a mile
l: 1/2 big salad salad (sprouted chickpeas, red pepper, celery, baby greens, cucumber, flax seeds) + 2 egg whites
s: orange + a few nuts (peanuts and almonds)
d: 1/2 big salad salad (sprouted chickpeas, red pepper, celery, baby greens, cucumber, flax seeds) + 1.5 pieces of roasted talapia.

I think I might actually be OVERDOING the protein now that I look at the grand total for the day. I am going to shoot for 100% raw tomorrow with one or two meals that includes cooked protein (2 egg whites or some fish). I think I am also going to 100% eliminate nuts from my diet until I get down to the weight that I want. Now that I have added some animal protein to my diet, I can cut back on the nuts (which are too calorie-packed for someone in my position that wants to lose weight).

I am kind of known to be the "healthy eater" in most circles and people have really begun coming to me for nutrition advice. A friend of mine from law school made an "appointment" with me yesterday to discuss her issues. She claims that she needs to lose 100lbs. I would say maybe 50-75. We discussed her current eating, her goals, and how she plans to take baby steps to get to where she wants to be. I LOVE giving advice to people and talking to them about their health. Although I am in law school and want to use my law degree to fight injustice in the world, sometimes I think I chose the wrong profession. I love giving nutrition advice, and think I could be great at it. My idea is to maybe be a fitness/health consultant some day. Life is long (especially when you take care of yourself), so I guess I can do both!

BTW, Amy you don't need to apologize for writing long posts! In fact, it is encouraged :-). That is what this forum is made for!!

Amy, sorry. I think I wrote "Danielle" to you again in my previous post. Sorry, sorry! I'll try to keep better track in the future. I guess it is tough when you can't put a face to a name. Sorry!

Hi girls. I'm sorry for my lack of comments/etc. lately. I am SO EXHAUSTED lately it's hard to even type out my daily menus! I went back to work today after meeting w/ the police and I am definitely not ready physically to be back. I have no short-term memory and I seem to have completely lost the ability to multi-task, so I had to keep restarting things and couldn't concentrate. I am just so wiped out, too. I didn't realize how not-normal I feel until I went back to work- I just assumed it was normal to feel so weird doing things like talking to the police, so I figured that's why I felt so out of it. Now I know it's definitely the concussion/head injuries that are making me feel so spacey. Anyway, I think it's good that I made the effort to go back to work and even though I should probably just take the rest of the week off, I'll keep going. I left an hour early today and will probably do the same for the rest of the week.

The meeting w/ the cops went well, they showed me a bunch of photos and asked me if any looked familiar. There was one that did. I'm not sure if it's the "right" one (ie, the one the other cop recognized and who has a recent criminal history in the area). They can't tell me anything or do anything that could sway my opinions or how I remember what happened- that's why they put the one pic of the suspect in with a bunch of random pics. It's kind of cool but also really draining. I have to go back in tomorrow. They kept asking me the strangest questions today, too, so something is up but I don't know what. I think the main suspect typically preys on younger women, like teenagers, b/c they kept asking me how I was wearing my hair, how tall I am & how much I weigh, and then saying (to each other, like I wasn't even there) how I look much younger than I am. Interesting stuff...

Becky, I think it's really cool that you're tweaking your diet. If something isn't working for you, it's much better to try to fix it instead of ignoring it just for the sake of staying 100% raw vegan. The sprouted chickpeas are raw, right? You could try different kinds of sprouted lentils, too. They're not too bad (I'm not a huge fan though).

Amy, I'm sorry that your lunch didn't work out as well as you hoped. It's frustrating when people don't even understand what "vegetarian" means! Before I became vegan (which most people at least understand means NO MEAT!), people used to try to feed me fish all the time! My mom even thought I could still eat chicken & turkey for a while. Anyway, it seems like the cooked food you ate was still healthy, and I'm sure you'll bounce right back!

Soraya, thank you for your continued encouragement! Do you have a journal? I'd love to hear about your raw journey

Ok, food today:

*1 hour arc trainer, moderate intensity*
-2 bananas, 1/2 T raw almond butter
-2 bananas, 1 raw cacao-goji energy bite
-mango, 2 bananas (craving bananas!!)
-another banana & a tiny apple w/ 1 T raw almond butter
Now I feel sleepy & kind of nauseous but I have veggies that will go bad if I don't eat them today- Who am I? I always eat veggies at the speed of light...anyway I'm going to make a salad w/ the usual veggies and raw ACV for dinner and then go to bed SUPER EARLY so I can get up for the gym tomorrow morning.

OMG, I took a "washboard abs" class last night and it killed me! It was so awesome! We did not stop for half an hour! The moves were insane, I thought I might die...but I am addicted! I can't wait til the next one on Saturday! There's also a class called "Absolution" that I want to try on Monday. My abs are the only part of my body that I'm not happy with- everyone in my family has a stomach pooch- so hopefully I can outsmart my genetics

Hi girls, thanks for the support! Danielle, sorry to hear that you were out of it today at work. I understand how working would make you feel better in this situation though, so I fully support you going in and leaving early if need be.

Becky, glad to hear you are becoming a model for good eating. Hopefully you can influence others in a positive way - sounds like you already are and that ths is very rewarding for you!

Well, I am back on track today. Meals include:

B: 2 bananas and pineapple chunks
L: Salad with lettuce, tomato, onions, green beans, carrots, a little oil and vinegar, papaya and watermelon chunks
D: No idea yet, but most likely some sort of fruit when I get home. Might pick up some nuts too.

oops I forgot to add my workout: 5.5 mile run in 90 degree heat. It seems like I am now able to alternate running and swimming each day and not get injured, which I'm happy about. hopefully I can build back up to running at least 5x a week.

Danielle: That story is so CRAZY! I am really glad, though, to hear that the police are taking this situation so seriously. Have you been to the doctor? These symptoms seem bad -- no short-term memory, difficulty concentrating. It could be that the emotional trauma of the situation is causing these problems. However, it would definitely be worthwhile to see a neurologist to make sure there isn't any permanent damage. Feel better and stay strong!

Amy: Sounds like you are doing great, and right on track! Also, your decision to run every other day and swim every other day is a great one! Good for cross training and a great way to prevent injury.

All is going well here food-wise.
I haven't been feeling so hungry the past day or so. Maybe it is the protein?

here is my day so far:
-orange
-bowl of melon
-salad: raw spinach, mixed greens, carrots, cucumbers, red and green peppers, 2 eggs + olive oil and vinegar

I plan to eat another salad or some fruit for dinner and swim tonight after class (at 8pm).

I am having a shabbat dinner at my house on Friday night. I plan to make a BIG salad for everyone. Will likely eat that and will maybe have some protein of my own before dinner so I won't feel tempted by any of the other cooked foods around. Am thinking of fasting on Saturday and/or Sunday with just green tea. We will see how I feel when the time comes...

Have a good day, ladies!

Yes tomorrow is Friday! I am going to get lots of rest this weekend and hopefully get back to normal!

Becky, thanks for your concern! I'm told that my symptoms are totally normal for traumatic head injuries. I keep feeling like it's a lot, too, but I was hit really hard at least 5 times...by all accounts I should have totally been knocked out, thank god I wasn't! I guess my body needs a while to heal, after all, it's been less than a week.

Amy, wow it's hot in Thailand! Is it summer there now? I feel so ignorant, I don't know much about Thailand

I felt SO out of it all day today. I ended up falling asleep at 9:00 last night! I was woken up by my alarm at 5 AM to go to the gym, but turned it off and went back to sleep til 6:30 when the cops called for something, then went back to sleep again til 7:00! So I got around 10 hours, but I was still so exhausted. Work was rough. I left at 4:00 and came home and went to the gym- I swear that helps so much, b/c now I feel more awake than I have all day. I need to try to get to the gym tomorrow morning, that might be the only way I can make it through the day!

Food today...

-2 bananas, 1.5ish T raw almond butter
-lara bar, banana
-2 bananas, another 1/2ish T raw almond butter (I need to not buy this anymore...oops)
*45 mins. moderate intensity elliptical (cross-country program), 30 mins. moderate biking...was going to go easy on the bike but I was sandwiched in between 2 guys who were going all out, and I didn't want to look like one of those wimpy girls that barely breaks a sweat! Lol.
-a couple handfuls of baby carrots, a salad w/ romaine, baby greens, red & yellow peppers, 2 roma tomatoes, cucs, carrots & raw ACV, an apple w/ a tiiiiny bit more raw almond butter...

I am freezing...time to go bury myself in blankets and probably fall asleep super early.

Oh and Becky, I have NOT heard from Nate! What an asshole. I am really upset about it but I have had so much else to think about that I haven't really had a chance to dwell on it. He's out of my life for sure though- I will not let him back in after he let me down so much. I seriously could have passed out in a pool of blood in my apartment after I hung up with him, or the attacker could have followed me home and broken in and killed me, and he wouldn't even know. What is wrong with people? I am done with him, he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as me!

(Can you tell how mad I am? Lol.)

Danielle: If I were you, I would be equally as pissed. What an ASSHOLE. Seriously! Where does he get off? He isn't even a friend, based upon the way that he has(n't) been acting. They say you can tell who your true friends are in times of need. He sure isn't one of them. How about Adam?
I am glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself and listening to your body. You need a much deserved rest this weekend. I am so proud of you for getting to the gym. I am sure it helps you maintain some sense of normalcy.

This evening I went swimming after class. The pool is open until 9:30pm, so if I get there by 8:30 I can get a nice long swim in. I ended up sharing the lane with 2 other people. For some reason it was super crowded this evening. One girl was swimming really slowly. The other guy and I ended up kind of taking turns passing her back and forth across the pool. At one point he and I both stopped at the same time and had a nice chat. He said something like, "well you must come here often, you are in great shape!" That sure made my day :-). Cute guy from Uruguay sees me swim and tells me I am in great shape. Yay! I actually do feel very strong when I swim. LOVE IT!!

Food today was good. However, I am kinda unsure of what to do about post-swimming eating. I went to Whole Foods directly from the pool because that is where the school shuttle drops us off. Since I am having people over for dinner tomorrow, I figured it would make sense to get food this evening. When I got there I was STARVING. I usually am after swimming. So I ate a few dates from the bulk section. Then I made myself a salad from the salad bar, brought it home, and ate that for dinner. But...now it is 11pm and I am kinda full from dinner. Want to sleep but hate going to bed with a full stomach. But...I had to eat something. I was so hungry! Any suggestions about what to do? I am thinking that maybe in the future I will try to eat immediately after I swim when I am waiting for the shuttle (maybe a couple of bananas or a lara bar). That way, even if I go to bed at 10:30 or 11 at least I will have digested for 1.5-2 hours before getting into bed. Oh, the logistics of exercising at night and eating dinner. I guess a lot of people have the same issue.

Anyway, here is the total for the day:

8am: orange
10am: bowl of melon
1pm: salad: raw spinach, mixed greens, carrots, cucumbers, red and green peppers, 2 eggs + olive oil and vinegar
6pm: 2 apples + box of raspberries
*8:30pm: swam a mile.
10pm: 5 dates, big salad (greens, cucumber, peppers, celery, corn, tabule, wheatberry salad, balsamic vinegar), a few bites of lentil soup (my roommate made it for dinner for tomorrow and I took a taste).

Actually, looking back at my food for the day I think I will just switch the 6pm and 10 pm meals. I could eat a big salad at 6pm and a few pieces of fruit at 10pm. That seems like a good plan! I might still be hungry after swimming if I eat a few pieces of fruit but I think that will be a happy medium.

The only animal protein I ate today were 2 eggs for lunch. That feels like the right amount for me. I ate mostly raw other than that (and the few bites of soup). I think I am really finding a good balance and feeling quite good.

I hope I get the chance to work out tomorrow, but it is looking doubtful. I have a memo due tomorrow evening and I need to be at school by 9am. And now it is already almost 11:30pm, so I don't think I will be able to wake up at 5:30 for spinning. 6 hours isn't usually enough sleep for me. Sigh...
Well I'll try to get up for spinning. If that doesn't work out maybe I'll just use the elliptical machine in my building for an hour.

OMG, if you are still reading I am really, really sorry. I think I was just sort of thinking and letting my fingers type along the way. Anyway...have a good night ladies!

Oh, one more thing. As you know, shabbt dinners can be a source of stress and get me off on the wrong foot for the weekend. So...to keep me honest I am going to tell you that I plan to eat a minimal amount throughout the day. Then for shabbt dinner I will just make a BIG salad for everyone and eat only that. I told people to bring various things, one of which was fruit. So...if I feel the need for something sweet at least I will have some fruit to fall back on.
Just to avoid any mishaps I will tell you now that I plan to eat 100% raw all day tomorrow. Quote me on it! I'll check in again tomorrow night after everyone goes home.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/25/2008 04:21AM by optimist4life.