I've been playing with different things for years, trying to find something that will work to keep me healthy and vital for a long life. Nothing ever seemed to fit. I've been diagnosed in January with hypothyroid, but the medication level is very low to manage it. I've been working toward becoming raw for a while, and finally did it! Using some of the salad recipes from this website helped a lot! I don't know if I will lose weight--I've been stable at 150-155 for about 3 years after a long period of obesity (about 200 lbs.) But today it doesn't matter because I'm not doing this for weight, I'm doing it because it feels sooooo good and I feel so energetic.

Today's food:
Breakfast-Green drink (spinach, mango, papaya and purified water)
Lunch-Huge green salad topped with Zucchini Zalad (I've made Bragg's salt-free sauerkraut for years and this recipe includes it--yummmmy)
Snack: almond milk smoothie made with home-made almond milk, frozen banana and frozen strawberries
Dinner-More salad, it's wonderful! Carrot-beet juice, home-made "lara bar" made with the pulp from my almond milk, carob powder, and some dates, with a little bit of cinnamon powder and a dash of cayenne powder.

I am in my last year of my counseling Master's degree, so I work nights and try to get 4-5 hours of sleep before heading to my internship and/or class. Even on that, when I am raw, I feel sooo much more energy than I used to with 8 hours of sleep a night. Saturday was my first 100% raw day, and I did a hike with my son...it felt great!

So today, again, not enough sleep. Got home at 7:30 am, slept till about 11:30, then got up and cleaned up a little before heading to internship at 2:00. For my meal, I had about 1/4 of a watermelon and a Lara bar. I'm drinking water because I'm thirsty, not sure why.

Got a call from my 6th grade son at 4:00--he's suspended from school for fighting. I'm noticing that its lots easier for me to handle this stuff lately--I don't go ballistic like I used to (yeah, see where he learned that anger works?) and find that I am able to talk to him in a calm, gentle and peaceful way about almost everything. We're talking about how to handle it when someone calls names. Still, I was stressed about him being suspended, and made an almond milk smoothie even though I wasn't really hungry. 1 cup almond milk, a frozen banana, 1 Tbsp. of dates, a dash of vanilla. I also grabbed about 4 pieces of walnut from the freezer.

I haven't had my evening meal yet; I'm planning to eat a big salad...mmm, it sounds good. Meantime, I made up a batch of flax crackers and put them in the dehydrator.

Energy level is still good, my son and I are talking and doing some role-plays to give him practice at walking away from other kids saying mean things...Life is interesting. I also am finding being all raw much easier than I thought it would be with my 2 kids still eating the cooked stuff. The cooked stuff doesn't really strike me as edible--almost like it's fake or something. THat makes things also easier. I chalk that up to my change in peace, energy, and positive growth...as I am more peaceful, I only want the things that nourish and feed my soul, even when I'm stressed!

I probably ought to introduce myself, and tell why I'm doing this journey. I'm 49 years old, a single mom, with 10 months to go on a Master's in mental health counseling. I work full time, and have 2 kids at home. I've been blessed with tremendous health all my life. I have 10 children all together, and have never had any problems. Most of my kids were birthed at home. (Yes, I'm a Mormon ;-D ) I got divorced about 4 and a half years ago. Prior to that, I'd tried vegetarianism, and vegan, but my husband made it very hard. He mocked me and refused to support me in any way with my choice of foods. When I divorced, I'd been sober from substances for 14 years. I weighed 200 lbs at 5'6". I went to a 12-Step program for overeating, and my sponsor immediately helped me start eating huge salads for lunch and dinner every day. I found it easy to go to veganism fairly soon, and for a long time was good with that. Then two and a half years ago, I met and had a serious relationship with a man who was into raw foods. He introduced me, but I wasn't too receptive at the time. I thought it was pretty strange. As time has gone by, though, I've found that's what I am craving, and little by little over the last three months or so, I've been increasing my raw till the last three days, I've been 100% raw.

I'm excited to have found this website and bulletin board. I love all the great ideas and things I've read here. I hope I get to know some of you as the time goes by.

Day 4 all raw! I struggle with how much and how often I'm eating--as in I feel guilty. Its such good food and it feels like I'm eating non-stop. I'm not even trying to figure out the calories, just focusing on eating raw and trying to pay attention to what my body wants. I've been eating lots of dates and fruit. I remember Victoria Botenko says that sweet craving is partly due to lack of calcium, so I'm making sesame milk instead of almond milk for my smoothies. I'm also taking a calcium supplement to see if that will help. I notice that tonight, I'm sitting in my class, and everyone has fast food, which normally has made me nuts and want to eat what they are having. Tonight, though, it doesn't even look interesting. I brought a big plate full of whole strawberries to share with the group and they loved it and ate it up. It was a nice change from the cookies/candy that another group member sometimes brings.

I feel like I'm on something--so full of energy and "hyped"! But I haven't had caffiene for weeks. This is really an interesting experience.

One group member said she had been raw for a few years but got tired of it because it was so much effort to prepare food and think ahead to soak seeds, etc. I'm finding that it is actually fun to prepare raw foods, and to be able to just fix it that fast when I think of it. I made some flax crackers last night--I had soaked some flax seeds just on a whim, and I whirled them up in the Vitamix then added some raw salsa, shredded carrot, namushoyu, garlic, and minced celery. I spread it on the teflex sheets and overnight in the dehydrator. MMmmm..I had some for dinner and everyone commented how yummy they looked all multicolored.

Can I say--I LOVE BEING RAW!! I can't find a downside if there is one.

Yesterday and today were the most stressful days I have had in a very long time, and that's saying something (I work full time, 20 hours a week internship, and 2 nights a week of class + 2 teenagers at home). Had a very intense event with my youngest; it's not over yet and I'm feeling stretched to breaking. The other one had her wisdom teeth out today too, and of course is in a lot of pain and on medications. My children aren't interested in this way of living, and I don't try to push it, only enjoy it and try to let them see how great it feels for me and how I'm so healthy and happy.

I didn't feel like eating or drinking last night or today at all, spent most of the day either sleeping a bit or on the phone talking to various "agencies" involved in this situation with my youngest. I work from 11 pm to 7 am, so usually I am sleeping all morning until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. So on top of the stress, I'm exhausted from not enough sleep. About 9:30 tonight, I drank a large amount of water with a little lime juice in it. By 11 pm when I got to work, I was hungry again, and brought some fruit with me and a few flax crackers. At work, someone had set out a bowl of tortilla chips and salsa. I ate my crackers and was still hungry, so I ate a big handful of chips. Anyway, I guess it's a balancing game...eating what seems a lot of fresh veggies one day, the next not feeling hungry at all. I think the stress reaction is that my body just didn't want to also have to work at digesting food.

Tonight, I feel actually physically pretty ok, and emotionally, I'm amazed I'm able to handle things so calmly--I don't get the feeling of "drama" I used to have about stuff. I just have faith that things will work out, even though it is sad for me right now, and I am trusting that I will learn the lessons I am being given.

Back to 100% raw...and interestingly, my youngest is showing interest in many of the foods I prepare. He loves my fresh salsa, and also the homemade salt-free sauerkraut I make. Both my children are eating freely of the fruit in the refrigerator, and both have enjoyed the juice I've been making recently. Perhaps there is a silver lining to things...and my children will learn to enjoy the bounties and gifts of God this way.

I'm sensing some growth that I believe is related to my willingness to change things in my life. I've come to see that my energy is out of balance; my ability to speak my own truth has never been good. One way that manifests is that I have always had sore shoulders for many years now, and was diagnosed with hypothyroid a few months ago.

I've always been "smart" and able to speak to others about many subjects. I'm a good public speaker. But I've never been able to be real about my own feelings and needs, or about my own truth--in this case, that raw food is what is the right thing for my health and body. I've been focusing on that reality and healing/balancing that part of my energy, and today I have a bit of a sore throat. I take that as cleansing or healing of that part of me. I love the raw food and how it is helping me come to balance in so many ways, not just physically.

Oh, yes, what I ate today: I didn't work, so I had a more normal schedule. I air fasted till about 3 pm. Then I had a large glass of grapefruit/orange juice. About two hours later, I had a huge green salad with some of the zucchini salad on the recipe page of this site (my all-time favorite salad--I could eat it every day and sometimes I do!). I've decided to try avoiding eating fruit at the end of my meals and see if it helps the gas I sometimes get. Just a few minutes ago, I had a lemon energy bar I made with the almond/sesame pulp from making almond milk, some date paste, some agave, and lemon juice, dehydrated about 4 hours. Yummy!!

This last week has been extremely stressful in a number of ways; I've really had a hard time and finding myself justifying or rationalizing why I don't really want to keep fighting cravings for cooked food. It's really interesting that the foods that make me feel the worst and have the worst effects on my body are the ones I crave more and more and more of. It's not like my body telling me what I need, that is a very different feeling but hard to pay attention to when my craving is screaming for a piece of cake with lots of frosting. I have had to remind myself why I want to stay all-raw food, and I came up with this list:

I have more energy all the time.
I am able to accomplish more.
I feel more whole.
I am more in tune with my body and its needs.
I am more in tune with my spirit.
My raw vegan diet is ecologically sound.
I feel light and light radiates from me.
I can focus on others more.
It is fun to discover new ways to enjoy raw foods.
I know I am following the will of God for me.

Today's food:
7 a.m. 1 liter of water with 1 lemon in it
Slept till 2:30 (I worked all night till 7 a.m.)
3:00 pm 1 liter of water with lemon in it
8 pm juice of 3 grapefruits and 1 orange (that was good!)
9 pm 1 fig, 3 dates ground up with some carob powder and a handful of soaked almonds; my daughter made a dish of ramen noodles and I ate about 3 big bites of that (why? I didn't even really want it!)
11:30 pm- back to work, some fresh pineapple

I realize my struggle to stay raw started when I decided I could handle "a few tortilla chips". I love how Victoria Botenko describes cooked food as an "addiction" and it really seems to be like that for me...I won't really be done with the cravings until I'm 100% again for a few days. I'm not going to beat myself up, but just keep moving forward and knowing that's what is right for me and my body.

Thirty-six hours without cooked and already the cravings have pretty much disappeared. I've been super stressed again today (I have a 15 year old who ran away last night and is with friends who are using drugs) but once I made the committment to not use "junk" knowing it will just make the misery worse, I've been able to enjoy my fruits and veggies. I started thinking today about the "addiction" to cooked, and realized I can use some of the same methods that are used for rehab from drugs...identifying triggers, seeing how my thinking is out of alignment with reality, etc.

Yesterday's food (I'm just finishing up my all-night shift)
1 p.m.- 4 dates, juice of 1 lb.carrots + 1 lb. apples
6:30 p.m.-large green salad including 1 avocado and home-made "godess" dressing
8:00 p.m.- 1/4 of a medium watermelon and a handful of almonds
10:00 p.m.- 1 banana + 1 cup sliced strawberries, with agave and water for a smoothie
1 a.m.- 1/4 of a medium watermelon

Hallelujah, I get to sleep as long as I want today...Ugh...tomorrow is Mother's Day (I hate that holiday).

Today I have been so worried about my missing daughter; I haven't been hungry at all, even though I spent much of my afternoon fixing food for the upcoming week. Saturday is my "prep" day so that I have grab 'n go food for the work week. I made flax crackers and they are in the dehydrator while I'm at work tonight. I also made some almond-sesame milk and used the pulp to make almond-carob-date bars. I made some "Sunburgers" with the recipe on this website, too. I put some salads in zipper baggies in the frig and made a batch of "Goddess" dressing. I also made some salsa for my zucchini chips.

3 pm- Large glass of apple-carrot juice (3 or 4 medium carrots and 3 apples)
10 pm - 2 dates and a small amount of walnut pieces (much less than 1 oz).

I just haven't felt like anything else today. Maybe my body isn't up to food with the added stress--my daughter is still gone from home.

I've had such an interesting and growth focused month. It seems to work like that for me...plateaus followed by powerful times of intense growth.

My 15-yo daughter is responding to the way I have become so much more gentle and peaceful. She is moody and difficult because she is quitting smoking,but she is quitting because she sees me making positive changes for my well-being and wants to feel as peaceful as I've been.

I was recently put in touch by seemingly random events with someone who had much of the information I've been seeking about how to really eat the way that will give my body the best health possible. It is raw, but in the kinds of things that will help me get my body into an alkaline state. I love how things work that way for me--when I am ready, the teacher appears. It's such a great gift from God to see my life becoming.