I have been trying to make an effort to meet more Vegan's lately, I have met 3 people fairly recently from vegan forums on the internet and I have been disapointed.

They were all really obsorbed in tones of drama in their lives and a lot of it seemed like stuff they could work out without too much effort if they tried or just sat down and talked about it rationally.
I am not trying to be judgemental toward them or anything, what they are going through maybe a bigger deal to them than I realize.

After meeting them not one of them has bothered to contact me again or return my calls, even though they were very keen to chat with me online.

So I don't get it, I don't think I am a horrible person.

Maybe I am just not the kind of person they want to be friends with for whatever reason, it just seems weird that all 3 have done the same thing.

Maybe I just need to work on turning my omnivore friends vegan, lol they probably wouldn't like that.

Sorry for just posting my random thoughts, but it felt good to write it down for someone else to read.

Oh well, I guess I will just stick to having online vegan friends.

Phil.

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"Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it" (Chinese Proverb)



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 09/13/2007 01:58PM by jadedshade.

hey phil. what really helped me was to take away the focus on food in my life. we are a very gastrocentric culture and diet is a defining thing for many of us. for me, focusing on other things, other interests, the quality of communication i could have with people, was essential in making diet less important to me and opening up more and better friendships. obviously you're a terrific person who cares about himself and others, remember not to take on other people's issues as having something to do with you. and as far as converting people, i've found that no one likes to feel that you are trying to do this to them. it's a great thing to teach by example and be a healthy and glowing, happy human being yourself. people notice and want to know your secret and some of them start doing it themselves.
take care of you first. every person on the planet has something wonderful to offer no matter what they had for lunch!

Maybe just being vegan is not enough to base a friendship on. Why not try and find new friends who are both vegan and share another interest with you?

Rob

--
Rob Hull - Funky Raw
My blog: [www.rawrob.com]

I think I understand how jadedshade might feel - it's not that I want to substitute my current friends, it's that I would also like to have friends who understand and reflect my interest in raw vegan health and all the social implications that has.


The reason I never stuck to raw vegan (Nat. Hyg.) many years ago was the social aspect of it. It curtailed nearly every activity with everyone else I knew and I couldn't do it then. Now it's much better known and maybe even a little trendy, so it's easier to maintain.

Yeah, I get what you guys are all saying, I guess it's just hard to make new friends in reality but easier online, less friendship commitment I guess.

It's not that it is focused on food, I tell people all the time that there is a lot more to life than food, to me being vegan goes far beyond diet.

As you said Aquadecoco, I guess I just want to know more people who share the same or similar views on animals etc.

Thanks guys for sharing your views, it's appreciated.

Phil.

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"Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it" (Chinese Proverb)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/13/2007 03:56PM by jadedshade.

Phil: Being Vegan or even Raw does not automatically make you a cool and non-self-absorbed person (although in my case it does! ha! ha!). Making friends is not a formula.....and having one thing in common does not assure communication! Your best bet is to be a resource. BE a good friend....with lots of support. I have no doubt you'll receive the same.

-As you reach adulthood...people just have thier own lives and their own dramas. It's got nothing to do with you (just my opinion!). Even my best friends (from growing up) I rarely see...as they are largely successful and live in other areas. So I involve myself in my community (here in Central Florida)...and in making new friends.....vegan and otherwise......and in becoming involved in activities outside of work....and in my line of interests: Tennis, business, permaculture, Outdoor hiking and other activities, travel, movies, video games, yoga, religion, etc. I've got tons of friends that I can call or talk to anytime.....but they all have thier own lives...you know? And I have to be respectful of that. There are tons of cool churches I could go to to support those folks and partake of their many activities. It's all up to the level that YOU choose to get involved. Very few folks (as adults) are just going to choose to stick to you like dryer lint! LOL.

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

So Dave, do you find that there's a strong raw culture in Central Florida? Cuz if not in Florida, where better for fresh fruit!

It's just reaching out to meet like minded people, especially since being Vegan can make you feel like a freak, particularly if no one else you know is one!

I recently read the book "Vegan Freak" by Bob and Jenna Torres by the way its a good read.

Oh well it's all good. Don't worry I'm not going to cry myself to sleep about it! I just found myself disapointed is all.

After all, I've got all of you to talk to!

Have a good one.

Phil.

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"Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it" (Chinese Proverb)

Aquadecoco:

-Oh yes. MANY very wise folks down here. Very INDIVIDUAL.....very powerful. Take Suvi for instance (www.suvine.com)....she's always rockin and rollin....travelling...supporting healthy eaters. Plenty of great raw food support groups and resources. Of course...the fact is....anywhere healthy eaters go.....they are going to have to be quiet leaders....and lead by joy, example, and success. Who can argue with that?

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

My thoughts are that the amount and quality of ones friends is more a state of mind than an actual status of relationships.
Just I've noticed that my social life seems to change from lonely to lively merely by how I'm evaluating it and what I expect.

I think the same applies to individual relationships as well.

Hi Jaded, I feel what you're going through. I've recently made the change to about 90-95% raw...before May I was a full-on omnivour. I still love my old friends and would never replace them, but now I am often left out of social gatherings because they think it would be somehow rude to eat cooked food/meat in front of me. They'll say "We didn't think there would be anything for you to eat" or something like that. I explain that the gathering isn't so much about the food for me; it's about the people. I always bring several raw food dishes that everyone loves. I think it might be more about my friends feeling not so great about what they are putting in their bodies, even though I don't judge or preach. It feels like it might be a "misery loves company" thing too. When I used to do a lot of hard drugs in my youth, I only wanted to hang with other users... having a sober person around (even a non-judgemental one) was a bring down. Since the SAD eaters are in their own unhealthy addiction, it might be the same dynamic at play.

Anyway, it can be very lonely when you find yourself left out all of a sudden. Granted, as some have stated above, mere diet choice is not enough commonality to base a friendship on, but I do feel like the raw-fooders that I've met tend to have a more open and positive energy, and I like to be around that. I just decided last week to move to a different part of Maui... the "Hippy" side of the island. In addition to being a more health conscious community there is also a lot more music, dancing, yoga, spiritual activities there. So I feel like I'll meet people with similar interests, raw or not.

Be yourself, stay positive and you will draw quality people towards you.

Good luck and Aloha,

Greg

lightform

<<My thoughts are that the amount and quality of ones friends is more a state of mind than an actual status of relationships.
Just I've noticed that my social life seems to change from lonely to lively merely by how I'm evaluating it and what I expect.

I think the same applies to individual relationships as well>>

i had to read that twice
very profound statement
thanks for posting that

afterwards, i went over my mind how i perceived my relationships
just then
i felt RICH with beauteous relationships

thank you for helping me with that little glitch transformation
but that little glitch is rather huge

that's why i dig this forum !

la_veronique Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> lightform wrote:
>
> <My thoughts are that the amount and quality of ones
friends is more a state of mind than an actual status of
relationships.>
>
> afterwards, i went over my mind how i perceived my
> relationships just then
> i felt RICH with beauteous relationships


I second both comments. A lot has to do with our perception and interpretation.
La Veronique, here's a chest to fill with your riches

>

Counting by Dreams
by Lianne MacInnes

Count your garden by the flowers
Never by the leaves that fall
Count your summers by sunlit hours
Don't remember rain at all

Count your nights by stars, not shadows
Count your friends by smiles, not tears
And when you remember what you've done
Count your memories by hopes, not fears

Count your youth by innocence,
Never by the age you are
Count those you miss by how near they feel,
Never by how far

Don't count your days by storm and rain,
But by vivid sunbeams
Count your strength by goals, not losses,
Count your life by wishes and dreams

piastachio

<< I second both comments. A lot has to do with our perception and interpretation.
La Veronique, here's a chest to fill with your riches >>

thanks pistachio!
however, as soon as you gave me the treasure chest, i noticed it was spilling and overflowing

gimme another one

hey... that is a truly beautiful poem that you posted up there
it just shot through my blood while i was reading it

yes yes YES!