Hey everyone,

I've been raw for about two years now. I suppose I have a mixed raw diet. For breakfast I eat either all fruit or a mix of fruit and greens for lunch a salad without dressing, but occasionally with some avocado. In the evening, I usually just eat a handful of nuts (or sometimes a couple of handfuls and maybe more fruit - although not together). I have tried to do 80/10/10 diet, but I really don't like eating too much fruit - I just get overloaded by the sweetness sometimes and want to cut some of the sweetness with other things. Anyway, I have found recently that I am not feeling well when I eat a bunch of nuts/fats. I get headaches where I didn't before and feel too stuffed - almost like I did when I ate cooked food. I know that for a lot of people finding fats and/or nuts distasteful after awhile on raw is normal, but to be honest, I am a bit afraid. I've lost about 30 pounds since going raw and it isn't even the weight, because I am still carrying excess fat on my body. It was more that I lost it without even noticing. I also began to notice that I could see my ribs in my upper chest, which freaked me out so I started eating more. (I carry all of my extra fat in my lower half.) I am afraid that if I really listen to my body which is kind of telling me to stick to fruit and greens that I (1) won't get enough nutrients (2) won't get enough calories and (3) will begin to feel that I have an eating disorder. It may seem silly, but sometimes I wonder if I subconsciously want to control my eating/lose weight and I am somehow convincing myself that food is making me feel i'll so I stop eating. I know that sounds ridiculous, and I have no history of an eating disorder (I'm 33), but I did grow up thinking I should be thinner (as probably 90% of women do)... so sometimes I wonder. (I also have a therapist for a mother who ALWAYS made me question possible subconscious motivations.) Basically what I am looking for, other than just have a space to vocalize my fears, is to hear from other people (perhaps women especially, but generally anyone) who has cut back on calories, not because they were trying to lose weight, but just because it happened naturally.

Also, for the past two weeks or so, I have been eating great for 3 days, but not taking in a ton of calories, maybe even only 1000 (certainly less than 1500). And I feel good on these days, not run down at all. But soon enough, I kind of freak out, or maybe my body thinks it is starving?, and I binge in an evening meal. This doesn't feel good and I want to stop... but then I just think I'll be eating nothing. And sometimes I feel like I have to make the choice between eating something and feeling gross and not eating and feeling a little bit hungry... but not "starving" just the type of kind of hungry that goes away if you are preoccupied or even drink some water. So I don't know what to do. Sorry this is such a long-winded rant. I'm confused and worried.

Thanks for listening. I really appreciate reading the posts and replies on this board. I always find them useful.

anne

Hmmm...I hear you. Sounds frustrating.

-Everyone has mixed issues regarding food. You need it, but debate about it.....and sometimes eschew it. This is not unusual. What IS important is that a person do the research...and then CHOOSE a dietary regime. It's all about CHOICE - and thus getting beyond confusion. CHOICE does not obviate fear / trepidation / anxiety...but CHOICE makes accepting such thing possible.

-Separate your NUTRITION issues....and HEALTH issues....from your other issues. Make sure you are eating ENOUGH food....and getting ENOUGH nutrition in the long-term. After THAT, any cares are emotional and psychological....of course.

-Over-riding worry can ruin even the best diets. Try 30 days of eating 100% comfortably...with NO worry whatsoever...to break the so-called 'obsessive' food fixation.

-Just some tips.

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

annex Wrote:
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> ..... So I don't know what to do. Sorry this is such a
> long-winded rant. I'm confused and worried.

May I suggest to everyone who is in Doubt, myself
included, that you do a 'Total Body Cleanse' before trying to
find a certain way to eat. After one is truly "Clean", the Best
Diet will naturally appear, as well as lifestyle changes. No more
'hanging out' with those Big Mac eaters.......WY

hmmm. It seems to me that if you can't bring yourself to put dressing on your salad and eat more than a handful of nuts for dinner, you likely have an eating disorder. If you're losing time to feeling anxieties over what you should and should not put in your body (while leading a raw foods, and therefore, already quite restrictive and controlled lifestyle, no matter what anyone says to the contrary), you likely have an eating disorder. With that said, I don't know too many people who don't have disordered relationships with food in one way or another.

But, your post reads as very conflicted, i.e that your eating habits seem to suggest a desire to lose weight, while your words express a fear at having lost too much weight. These seem like conflicts worth working through (maybe with someone who specializes in eating disorders).

For me, raw foods is a healing lifestyle because while leading it, I don't have anxieties over what I put in my body--I know that it's good and I enjoy every minute of eating it. I think it's important to take a more holistic approach to "health" that considers not only the way that we nourish our physical bodies, but also the ways that we can nourish our bodies without organs (the other parts of us that have to do with life force, vitality, spirituality, etc). You can eat the "healthiest" diet ever, and still be left empty of other sorts of nourishments, and if Raw foods enables such a state for you, I think it might bear further scrutiny.

That's my very lengthy two cents.
Good luck to you. I wish you health AND happiness

dave, i love nearly every one of your posts. i think i do some of that already. i guess i wanted to know what other people thought was enough. of course everyone is different, but maybe I wanted some (false?) reassurance.

WY- thanks for the suggestion! i think you make a good point. doing a cleanse has never appealed to me personally however. seems to extreme!! haha.

raucous gal- I appreciate your response, but i think it is not a good idea to diagnose someone else with an eating disorder just because they aren't a big fan of salad dressing or a ton of nuts. otherwise half the people here would have an ED! i know i don't have one, but sometimes i question myself too much. it was as if i watched that 20/20 report on othrorexia and wondered if i had a disease just because i eat raw food. i mean i think i can get paranoid or overly analytical and sometimes i still eat just because i feel anxious, but i think that's about it. but re-reading my post i can see why you would be concerned. i certainly didn't mean to alarm you, and i know that you said what you said out of concern for me. thanks.

i guess i should have said something like this: some days (not every day!) i think i get under 1200 calories. and some foods that i liked before i don't like so much anymore and they make me feel sick. i know that there are many many people on this board that won't think that is a problem and that i should listen to my body... but are you sure? i mean really really sure - because it not what i am used to.

now i probably could've reassured myself by just reading old posts where people do talk about this, but in that moment... well, i just wrote what i did. i don't know anyone that i can talk about these feelings with so i guess i was just venting....

I agree, ANNEX


POOR JOHNNY ( on 20/20)!

YOu know me and my friends looked for him at Raw Spirit Fest. he was not there. We were going to feed him avocados.