Being raw when I was single was sooooo much easier than with the family. How do you stay raw and stay social with friends and FAMILY without seeming like an elitist? I find myself staying away from potluck playdates because of the foods, and dreading family events because of the pressure to convert to a cooked food diet. It is easier for me to just avoid the cooked foods, but my 2yr old is curious and takes what is offered. Moving to a raw community seems so dreamy, but running away from our SAD friends and family would indeed be sad.

Haida

Just bring your own food to these events for yourself and to share. Especially good to bring foods that SAD people will enjoy so they can understand raw more.

Simple Raw Recipes & Health Tips

Thanks GilmoreGirl,

It is easy to do that at potlucks, the issue there is that my two year old sees the other foods there and wants it. Its hard to control what a two year old eats at functions where the food is in reach. At family events bringing your own food comes off as elitist, even if you bring enough to share, not eating what is offered is considered rude.

Haida

I have the same trouble, but I don't have kids. I either bring my own, or eat ealier and say I'm not humgry, they may think I'm elitist or a bit mad, but they either accept me or not...their prob not mine.

But I know we all like to be well thought of and liked. A friend gave up healthy eating cause of this, and now they are sick and overweight.

It's difficult, especially with kids, but they too have to make choices, you can only guide them.

cheers geo

It's not considered rude to be a vegan, I'll tell you that. People would bend over backwards for you if they were your real friends to try to make sure you had something to eat.

Nobody puts a gun to your head and say's "eat this" it is always your choice and your conequences.

The pressure is cooked for pressure cookers and not your thoughts.

Right. I go to dozens of events and family gatherings every year. They all know how I eat....heh..heh...and make fun of me...heh..heh. But I'm certainly still ALLOWED at the function....I just say I'm not hungry (which I'm not!) Generally, if you make it clear to family and friends that you are there to see THEM, they are usually OK with that.

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

I have this same problem. But you know that goes with about anything. My family loves watching episode after episode of CSI, and that to me is like mental rape. The healthier I get the more it bothers me that people actually ENJOY watching this creation of the human mind. Disturbs the heck out of me that people come up with these storylines. So, after a while I just have to remove myself. Same goes with food. I do bring a few dishes of my own, usually of the dessert persuasion, and luckily with two kids I can usually keep busy enough tending to them that few people notice what I eat or I can cut them off by saying, "OH! Time to take Joseph to the potty!" Kids are great like that. But yea, along with what David says, emphasize you're there to see THEM. They don't always get it, but then again, most people don't really "get" me all the way anyway! lol


Me (30), Joseph (24 mo.) Jeremiah (4 mo.)

We are enjoying spring and being outside!!!

Hi Haida

I was sad to see a 'raw food coach' say recently that 'because my social life is important to me, I eat cooked food on social occasions as I wouldn't turn down social invitations for my principles'.

I found that quite amazing, as I have a good social life and have NEVER turned down a social invitation AND (somehow...:-)) I stay 100% raw easily. Also concerned that anyone new to raw reading that would be persuaded that, sure, you can stick to your 'principles', but only if you want to be a lonely saddo!

If those on a high-raw diet WANT to eat cooked food, then, sure, social occasions might be a good time to do it, but please don't feel that life is going to be incredibly hard and complicated if you want to stay raw and still go out.

Example - I'm meeting around 12 friends for dinner this Saturday. I've looked at the menu on the internet. I'll be having watermelon (on its own) as a starter, as I can see they have it on the menu. I've looked at the other dishes they have, ie ingredients they use (rocket, basil, romaine, cherry tomatoes, etc etc) and e-mailed the chef to ask if he could make up a raw salad for me using those ingredients. Just had a lovely e-mail back (as usual) saying no problem.

Anyway, this article I wrote I might help. Scroll down about halfway and you'll find it - 'Raw on Social Occasions'.

[rawforlife.co.uk]

debbietook

Quote

I was sad to see a 'raw food coach' say recently that 'because my social life is important to me, I eat cooked food on social occasions as I wouldn't turn down social invitations for my principles'.

If a person is looking for excuses they can always find something. Its the person who isn't looking for excuses that gets the best results.

Hi,

yes I know this can be a problem! But there are ways to get around it. I wrote a report about it in fact to help others overcome such problems after I finally found out how to do it myself.

If you're interested, you can find it here at www.originallyraw.com

Good luck!

Jasmara

Sometimes if I am eating at friends' homes, I'll eat cooked vegan food. No big deal. It isn't a major part of my diet and life. I accept the food as an offering of love and eat it. Or not. Other times, I'll bring a case of clementines or mandarins or a few papayas and cut them up... Yum! Everyone gets to enjoy what I bring when I do that.

I like Debbie's idea above, of doing your research beforehand and I think I will try that. Restaurants want to make money and if they can cater to your needs they will for a price; That's the dining out experience. Plus, if you know in advance that they CANNOT cater to your needs then you can decide to eat beforehand or bring something or make your excuses and not join in.

Regarding your children, that's a tough one. I realize that some family members are not going to be cooperative. That's more about underlying family dynamics than about specific food choices. But, it plays itself out... sometimes with food. Food, sex, money, power, control... These are all intertwined with family.

I had to let that one go. And one day, after spending a week at junk food grandma's, the eldest (upon returning home) said, "I just want to eat salad. Can we please just have salad for dinner?"

That was a beautiful moment. Although it did come from the child having been filled with toxic crap on more occasions than I can count.

Give up though? No way. I'm not going to become an obese, ignorant, junk food eater just because most people are that way. I don't think that way is easier. It's lazier. But easier? Is cancer, diabetes, heart disease and daily fatigue easy? Not to me.

Hang in there.

Lee

[www.dhamma.org]

Thanks you guys,
It is tough with kids and family. I dont know if any of you have indian-carribean family, but eating what is offered to you is respectful. It is not easy for many to wrap their minds around eating only raw food, especially children eating only raw foods.There is the thought of being grateful to be offered food. There are so many out there starving and all. And although I am always grateful, accepting a gift shows more appreciation than saying "I truly am grateful, but no thanks"
Thanks Angie1 for sharing. It is impossible to always keep an eye on kids, and friends do respect our decisions about how we raise our children more than family do.
And yes, no body is putting a gun to my head forcing me to eat cooked foods, but the repercussions of not accepting the gift of food from family can be sad to the soul. I will never give up on eating a raw vegan diet, but always causing friction with the family because of my lifestyle is something I do not like. So do I give in to the mindless banter, the brainwashing tube, the food, the outing to the zoo, spa, mall, Disney, etc, etc, etc?
And if anyone is reading this that has not made up your mind if eating raw foods is a lifestyle worth pursuing, please do not let this post direct you away from all the glory of raw. I wrote this post in-search of support, and perhaps it may give support to anyone else out there having a difficult moment being both raw and social.

Blessed!
Haida