I know this has been discussed before, but I need to bring it up again. I am completely blown away at the how FEW people are concerned with their health or their diet. I have met so many people who continue to live on sugar and mountain dew and/or diet sodas. As I am starting to think about dating again, I am freaked out by the idea that meeting some in real life that is at all concerned about the planet, mankind as a whole, themselves, and the foods they eat could be a bust. I don't know a male that lives that way - in real life (plenty on this site or others). I have plenty of girlfriends who try to live each day mindfully, but again, as far as men go the ones I have met are walking candy machines. I am not necessarily looking for a raw foodist even, I just would like to enjoy a meal with somone of the opposite sex who isn't trying to talk me into eating steak, or sharing a soda. Does anyone have any similar experiences?

Yeah, that's why I love my veggie freak, organic farmer, earth steward man so much!!! They're there; you just have to turn over a few (or a lot of) rocks!!!

You are doing the right thing VF. You just turn over more rocks...as Sundancer says. Hang out on the BBS's and websites that those guys frequent....and go to a few potlucks in different areas.....you should find a few good ones to hook up with.

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

Hi veggiefreak.
Yes there are men out there who love the whole concept of eating the foods of the Earth.And who love sitting out in nature feeling at ONE with the sky and birds ,and not inside with the remote channel surfing from one football game to another.
And live mindfully along the lines of the Zen philosophy .
I am one,and where there is one there are many.

I recently have gone through hell with giving up a 12 yr love affair with beer.And I recently met a woman who I really clicked with, except...she liked to polish off a whole bottle of wine in several hours.Thank goodness this new relationship ended after only a month.And then there were a few others over the summer who lived at McDonalds, or the only appliance they ever used in their kitchens were the stove and microwave to heat up meat.

I do know how hard it is to find someone who is on the same level as yourself with eating issues.

I dont like to think of people as rocks,as in turning over many rocks to find the right person.We all just have our preferences.

Look into your heart,make known to the Universe who it is you are looking for,affirm it every day,and he will be there.

Brian



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2008 04:38PM by Raw1228.

I met my girlfriend & the mother of my child on this forum (and sunfood's).

hi veggiefreak,
i sympathize with your thoughts, these resonates well with how i think...
i am not a people pleaser either, and maybe because of that i share my life with a wonderful cat being, with whom together we learn and practice both unconditional love and enjoying living in the present moment of now...
i am an idealist in my essence and i don't believe in to compromising and bargaining with higher values and beliefs which give meaning to my life and makes it worth living...
important is to understand and cultivate unconditional love, which then will effortlessly from within you radiate and reach "out" in to the rest of universe and encompass all that is in there and then return back to you bringing countless miracles of joy and happiness in to your life...)
it might even bring you a man worth living with in a holy relationship...

Veggiefreak,

We (single vegan males) are out here. Finding compatible ladies is actually almost as hard, so we're still out here looking as well!


Sundance,

lol Surely you don't really believe that we really can be found under rocks...We have never hung out under the stones. That's just an ugly false rumor started by some non-vegan males who were jealous of our vibrant health and stamina brought on by eating more greens in a day then most guys eat in a month! :~)

Men don't seem to be looking for mates here.

I don't think I ever got an email from a guy saying something nice to me here on living and raw food. This isn't an invitation, just an observation.

Love Suvine

Remember Paul Suvine? He was all over you on here!! LOL I think he was the Enlightened One. There was a whole big thing about the comments he was making, and others were making as well....not that he was looking for a relationship, but I think that he did put it out there and said a few nice things...or maybe they were derrogatory, I can't really remember that whole situation. We don't live far from each other, I am in coral springs. I am always thinking that in your neck of the woods there are many more likeminded people! The grass is always greener....

Anyway, DZM, what are the BBS's?

Justin,
I think you made some wonderful comments in your post.
I think everyone should think along those lines.The divorce rate would probably be alot lower.



I DID meet a woman who I had a 4 yr relationship on a vegan site.
So...It can be done either way.

PS. I think most men would be found on a football or car forum. But I doubt salads would be in the picture.

Brian

suvine Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Men don't seem to be looking for mates here.
>
> I don't think I ever got an email from a guy
> saying something nice to me here on living and raw
> food. This isn't an invitation, just an
> observation.
>
> Love Suvine

LOL Suvine, Something tells me you're going to get some emails now!
hmmm...Maybe I'll send you one, but I read some of your blog entries about a recent courtship, you might have to downgrade your taste in shoes a bit for me to make the grade. lol

My search for a raw lady has been interrupted by my work injury and uncertain future. "On disability" is definitely a romance killing term no matter how I state it. And woman always seem to ask about a career very quickly after meeting them.

If I remember correctly, Narz, er...I mean Communitybuilder was great. He came right out and posted a message that he was looking for a raw lover after he was well established on the board. I don't know how many responses he got, but one of them must have been the right one, cuz Jamie is a wonderful lady! :~)

Swimmer,
Dont worry about the disability situation.
Any woman worth one minute of your time wont mind.
I am on disability and I was living with someone who understood .
So dont worry.
Only the ones who are looking to be supported and housed will mind it.
I am not sure of your age,but when you get to be mid 40's like me,they are established and arent looking for material things much anymore.When I was younger,I was convinced that the only way to have a woman interested in you was to be rich.But what is rich?? 50k a year? 100k a year? 1 million a year?
But you will find that all of that belief is just plain wrong,and like I said,ones who base getting to know you on that factor arent the ones you want to be with.

I need to interject some views here and this seems to be a good thread.

Some of my perceptions in dating have been that the market for nice,quiet,sensitive,open the doors,bring flowers,raw eating,in tune with nature men is pretty small.We are boring or gay.
And that the market for beer guzzling,burping (and other body sounds),channel surf football watching,couldnt care less about the sky and birds,never open doors,never bring flowers,SAD eating men is pretty large.They are macho,tuough,and can protect you.

But there has to be someone out there for everyone.
For there not to be,ESPECIALLY if you put alot of effort into looking,would be a cruel mean joke from the Universe.

Brian



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2008 06:15PM by Raw1228.

Raw1228 Wrote:

> Some of my perceptions in dating have been that
> the market for nice,quiet,sensitive,open the
> doors,bring flowers,raw eating,in tune with nature
> men is pretty small.We are boring or gay.
> And that the market for beer guzzling,burping (and
> other body sounds),channel surf football
> watching,couldnt care less about the sky and
> birds,never open doors,never bring flowers,SAD
> eating men is pretty large.They are
> macho,tuough,and can protect you.


Brian,

Great post!

Very astute observation. I've come across the same thing.

btw I'm in my mid 40's, a home owner, and I agree with you on material things.

I met my wonderful husband on Match.com. We weren't healthy people at the time, but were extremely compatable for who we were back then. That bond brought us to the same place when it comes to our new outlook on health and diet. I am all for internet dating sites,and you can post your likes and dislikes and say that you are looking for someone with similar views. While people who come to raw food message boards may not be doing it for the primary purpose of meeting someone, people on the mainstream dating sites are. You may have some luck there.

As a woman, I didn't post my picture with my match.com profile, because I wanted to be cautious and didn't want some guy pretending to like what I did, just because he liked the way I looked. But I put up a detailed profile and then I would spend a lot of time searching (and filtering out weirdos), and then I would email them a thoughtful message (more than just "Hey, you seem nice. write back." that showed I had read and thought about their profile, and I would send a link to an external photo site that had my pictures. I feel like my experience was safer this way. I met my husband on the second shot.

Also, pray for God's leading in finding your mate.

My experience is that it is hard to build a relationship around food, diets etc. I think is is good to lead by example; if there is an attraction with two people then that should be the base, and let the food be peripheral. It will work it's way in if your partner sees you thrive. If someone really cares about you and respects you they won't be pressuring you into things like soda and steaks. I've always met really cool guys at the produce market, it's pretty easy to flirt around a bunch of beautiful friuts & veggies, and then you know that you have at least one thing in common.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2008 06:50PM by meganbubbs.

musicbebe,
Thats great you met your husband online.
Yes,every relationship I have been in for the last 10 yrs has started online.It is a very efficient,and usually quick way,of finding someone.Especially in this day and age when we dont go to church dances every Sunday like they must have generations ago.

Brian

No I do not remember any posts that were about me, maybe I did not read those posts. Thanks for telling me.

Dating. sigh, ugh, mmm...it's one of those things. I would be alot more into it if the person were a raw vegan.

Brian,

"We are boring or gay." I am still laughing at your frankness! As it happens--NICE counts. Tough and crude is good for something, but not a relationship with depth. There IS a vast middle ground between sensitive, smart, courteous, but gay or boring[you may be gay, Brian, but you don't seem boring ] and beer-guzzling, football-watching, SAD-eating jerkiness. And it is occupied by some really valuable people. I truly believe that once you are attuned to your higher self, evolved to your best attributes, or almost there, you automatically magnetize whoever is truly beneficial to you, and just sally past, unknowingly, those that are detrimental to your happiness. A ship on ever calm seas, finding all ports friendly, as it were. And I'm a born cynic, so that's me saying something!

Tamukha,

Your comments have me thinking I might have offended people by what I said.I didnt mean to,but realize I used stereotypical character images to get my point across.I myself believe there is a vast middle ground too.
Brian

ps I am straight.

ahhhh the dating game... it's fun to read other peoples views especially when they are so similar to my own... i have resigned myself to being alone for awhile... cause there are 2 things that would make or break a relationship for me... food... and god... but just what if... you have a soulmate and they happen to be a SAD surfin football watchin fool... i've seen many friends healthy women... with SAD men... i just don't think i could do it... i want someone to atleast be on a similar path...but is that being arrogant???

I once had a boyfriend that didn't believe in God... and he used to poke fun at me when i would say a blessing for our meals... I finally ended it with him because it wasn't "perfect" what ever that is...even though i loved him... and it broke my heart... and has changed the way i look at love a bit...and has greatly confused me...

am i being to picky... it's similar with foods i think...

If god sends you a boat to save you from a flood do you say no simply because it isn't the "Exact" type of boat you WANT... what if the next boat never comes...

i suppose it's knowing what you want... and what you don't want... and what you will and will not settle for...

love laugh and dream

My boyfriend and I learn from, love, respect, and understand each other. We eat different diets and definitely have different ethical views with regard to animals (well, non-human and non-pet ones), but we are still considerate of one another.

I'd like to meet someone, but it's difficult to meet women who aren't threatened by healthy eating habits. Women I meet... sigh... so many seem to have eating disorders and they end up feeling guilty about their own habits because of mine, and we end up out of sync. Maybe she's out there somewhere, I'm not forcing the issue, and I'm certainly not boring or gay. Not that there's anything wrong with either of those realities. The world seems populated aplenty with people -- it'd be nice to find someone nice to chill with, though, who doesn't get all freaked out about food.

Hey Veggiefreak - you may have luck meeting like-minded guys if you go the political route. A vegan diet is one of the easiest political statements a person could make, and those people are usually involved in some other type of activity. Check out your local anti-war, save the trees, animal rights, human rights, plant-a-tree, Naomi Klein read-and-discuss circle, (whatever you're into, really) type of group. Or if you can't find one- start your own.

I met my bf (union-organizing, life-long veggie, human rights activist) through an anarcho-punk collective's movie night showcasing several ALF animal rights videos. I've met more vegans that I could throw a stick at just by going to concerts put on by musicians carrying strong animal/human rights messages. =)

I'd settle for cooked vegetarian.

Don't settle, Arugula, you're awesome.

So great, I read Arugula's post and thought, "hmmmm......me too"
Then I read Shane's and thought, "That's right!!" Don't settle!
Thanks for all of the input, hope it continues, the dialogue is great. I still don't know what BBS's are in DZM's post. Anyone?

Hey sillies -- I know you're not under rocks! I met my guy at a permaculture workshop that he was facilitating at our local peace center. My point is you just have to keep looking in the areas where the people you want to be around hang out.

Sundancer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey sillies -- I know you're not under rocks! I
> met my guy at a permaculture workshop that he was
> facilitating at our local peace center. My point
> is you just have to keep looking in the areas
> where the people you want to be around hang out.

Yes true, thanks! But it's more fun being silly!
And, now I can't resist asking... Does this mean that you met a guy in the dirt?

Brian!

I daresay you cannot offend most of us with what seems to be our common experience. Sure, haven't we all experienced the stereotypical dichotomy ourselves? That's why it's a stereotype: grounded in objective fact. I would bet most of have had to a.) deny someone with whom we shared a values system but no "spark" or b.) denied someone with whom we shared a "spark" but no values system. And the posters that have found good, mutually respectful and beneficial relationships with people different from them are a great testament to that vast middle ground we both believe exists. Also, Brian, unless you're a jerk and tend to misjudge people[you don't seem to be], please know that your observations are valid and worth being heard! We're friends here, and we know you mean well.

Yeah, pretty much! He was living in a muddy little travel trailer on an organic farm in California with his two doggies. His favorite place is in the dirt!