Hi Everybody (or some folks)

New mama here was flying along eating raw for a month or so, without even a thought to eat differently, then the dreaded moving back in with my parents, hoping to get it together to move back to Hawaii real fast ... and now I'm feeling stranded, not sure I'll make it back soon at all, it's getting cold real fast, I feel torn apart by living with my parents again with my baby who needs me so much and I end up doubting everything, my closeness with him, that anything is possible, and I have no one to talk to really either. I feel like I'm in a waking nightmare where nothing is likely and fresh food getting scarce and the walls made of sugar and microwaves! At least the baby seems to be shifting to sleep more at night....

I feel made all of bright colours and new little wings suddenly trapped in a cage. I'm trying to get my bearings. It feels really scary and dark and much too heavy.

I'm working on it, I just want some help.

thanks and hugs in advance,
Adrienne/Michelle

Although I cannot know what your feelings are exactly - I hear you. Things must be tough!

-Focus: Are you in pain RIGHT NOW? If you are...focus on that and eliminating that. If you are not...then everything else exists in the future...or past....or someplace else in your thoughts.....and is distracting you from doing something that you LOVE or really want to do RIGHT NOW!

-Don't let a cloud of thoughts and suppositions get in the way of you developing a rapport of giving / taking joy right now. Being joyful creates opportunities - not the other way around. Make excuses to be joyful. All physical truths are relative. Better to not believe in them if they make you un-joyful....and better to believe in nonsense if it works for you and makes you joyful.

-You can always talk with - and get support from myself - or the other wonderful folks on this board.

-David Mason

I am sorry to hear you are feeling so overwhelmed right now. I agree with David Mason...try not to worry about the past, or the future. Just focus on the PRESENT and take care of yourself and your baby. Everything else will fall into place. Do you meditate at all? That might be very helpful for you. Hang in there, and just remember...this too shall pass! Everyhting changes.

Hugs to you and your baby.

Kim

thank you both for the good advice, she writes with baby in arms, I feel ya!! And I'll try to remember that. It feels like a growth opportunity, albeit one I would not have chosen, but hey...

one thing that helps me when i'm feeling overwhelmed is to visualize what i want to see happen, instead of dwelling on what i don't like about my reality. i've found that intention is a very powerful tool in manifesting reality. the clearer your vision and the more powerful your intention, the sooner things will change the way you want them to.

as far as your eating goes, even if it's hard to be 100% raw in your present situation you can still be very healthy and stay away from sugar and the dreaded microwave!! just be kind to yourself and do your best to take care of yourself and your baby.

love to you and your little one..

misha

How old is your baby? You might be suffering from some hormonal changes that are contributing to feelings of being overwhelmed. If so, they will pass.

If you can decide to "go with the flow" and be as positive about what is happening NOW, give as much love to others NOW, make the very best of your situation NOW and show up fully NOW, even if it's not where you really want to be - your experience of your experience will take a very positive shift. I just said pretty much what the others have said. That usually creates a shift in circumstances. But the attitude stuff has to happen first.

I get up and every morning I DECIDE to be happy. I have to "re-up" with my higher power on a daily basis. It takes practice and determination, but it gets easier. If we wait for everything in our lives to be just right in order to be happy - we will NEVER be happy. So, DECIDING to be happy in spite of how things appear to be going is so much better. And then we can work toward making the changes that we are capable of making. I only have so much brain space - so I try not to dwell on the things that I can't change - it takes up my brain space and the good stuff can't get in!!!! There is a "short cut to happiness" that I've learned. Go find someone who's less fortunate that you are and help them in some way! Do it EVERY day. Even if it's just "call you Grandma". See if things don't start changing and life starts to sparkle again!

And like the others said - hugs to you and your baby!


Life Is Good!

alive!

Thanks, that's a good reminder not to wait for things to be the way I want them to to be happy.

I am very into the positivity thing and consider myself very aware of how vibes manifest reality, so then I have a hard time giving someone a call to talk about stuff cuz I don't have any really close friends in the present time and I don't want to put a lot of energy into focusing on how sucky this situation is and how much I need, etc..

But I decide to accept my feelings and my wanting help, and I feel comfortable asking the people here, for sure! (And I am richly rewarded for my asking!!) :~D

The things I find the hardest or that get to me the most are:

isolation (my parents live far from town and my baby Dovelin who is 10 months old doesn't like to spend too much time in a carseat and I don't know that many people here and don't have time to talk on the phone)

no real time for self-nurturing...being a mom is a major change, and a single mom. sometimes I squeeze in yoga or writing or whatever, but it's pretty much all about my baby.

my parents' negativity, criticism, unhealthiness (and only seeing them, day in and day out, aside from my baby)

the change of seasons...I'm a converted tropic-lover, living in Canada!!

the mess...I'm trying to accomplish a lot, with a triple-full-time-job (mothering) to work around, in the middle of all this!!!


I have a lot of good goin' on, too: my lovely baby!!!!!!!!!!!!, occasional help from my parents, natural setting outside the house, a lot of resources, dreams...and at least I get to be with my baby full time, I have the financial support (though it doesn't feel great, my parents'...)

I thought about David's and Kim's advice on a walk with babe and dog...it's true, a lot of my feeling overwhelmed is anticipation of winding up staying here in their house for more months, the thought frightens me to death!! It's much harder in some ways living on my own but I consider it so necessary!!! My parents are really scary to me, when it comes down to it (right now at least) and as a parent, I feel very strongly that Dovelin needs me to be in my right mind(!!!) and to be around other kind people and in a natural setting, not living with my freaky parents with long drives to get anywhere and winter approaching. I'm really upset. And I know it's better to focus on what I want and on gratitude, but I'm just having a really hard time and I'm freaking out.

I really want to work through it, to play, to feel the joy of it all, but I'm bumming, not humming...

I won't go near the microwave, and I hope to nurture myself as well as possible...

yummymummy-cum-bummymummy

Hmmm...yes. I hear you / feel you.

-On isolation: Where do people exist when they are not right in your face / presence? They are not there 99.9% of the time you are alive and thinking. They exist in your head. 99.9% of your relationships exist only in your head! Ha! ha! As such...what you think ABOUT your relationships....is often mistaken for the relationship! LOL. THAT is the bulk of our relationship. What's the big change when they are there the .01%? Ha! ha!

-Perhaps (just a thought).......a person can stop trying to make things 'all right' and simply be all-right with not being all-right! LOL.......if you follow what I mean.

-It sounds as if your problems (like many) are not actual physical pain in the here and now....but a huge web of thought built up by a brilliant mind.

-If you are not kind and accepting to yourself.....you will never be able to be fully accepting of everything else in your life....and your child might not get full attention either. Let the kindness start with you and flow outward.

-Other people might not understand your good choices....especially if they are making bad ones. Be compassionate and kind.

-In your darkest hour...bring service to others....it will take you out of yourself. Excellent suggestion Alive!

-Support & Love to you.

-David Mason

Thanks~~

yeah, babyfacelove is a great resource (for giving to others and getting out of myself) when I remember to see it that way. Sometimes I forget that my favourite person in the world is right in my face. At least our relationship is mostly presence and not in my head!!

:~) love and light
Adrienne Michelle

I sympathise with your situation. It does sound like it could be difficult. But at least you have parents that are willing to "take care of you," albeit not in the manner that you would desire. But they are at least partially there for you. My parents didn't want to have anything to do with my problems. I could hardly talk to them. They would never have considered letting me move back in, as dire as my circumstances were. So as difficult as they may be, there is something there to be thankful for in your parents. Use their help to make plans for the future.

thank you, sweetness...

I'm feeling a lot better today, after spending lots of time just hanging out outside with my baby on the earth without shoes on, and after reading some of just-the-right-book-for-me-right-now, Meditation In Action by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. I love his writing!!!!

glowing from the inside out,
Adrienne Michelle

(((joy and blessings)))

oooooohhh-

i had to spend a week in florida with my five month old (at the time) with my actively anti-raw (yes, they do exist, and LOUDLY) parents, and then fly to stay with my less-vehement, but non-supportive parents-in-law for a week and a half. i haven't recovered.

i totally understand the frustrations and the total joy of being a full-time mother. i just started to be able to write and paint again this week. (little man is now six months and crawling for the last month) i don't get enough sleep, and even with the support of a husband, find myself dealing with the exhausting nights and frustrating days alone.

peace, sister.
and blessings.
i wish you lived next door. we walk all over the place with our dog as well. i've thankfully made friends and have already given away a number of our baby clothes to see them on local children.

i hate the cold. enjoy the seasonal fruits. in fact, maybe shopping farmers markets could help you meet locals with similar food styles.

now i'm going for some water and a nap.
Cassiani

Hey Mama, ;~)

thanks for writing, blessings to you also. It would be groovy if we did indeed live next door. Do you live in a warm place? We just got back from the farmer's market that happens year round (indoors in an old brewery, great market), every Saturday. (My mom is playing with the baby (almost 11 months) while I shovel some food and put groceries away) There are lots of cool people around here, unfortunately it's a 45 minute drive to see most of them!! We're in Nova Scotia, beautiful place (but certain things become more relevant or accessible when one has a baby, as you understand!!!!)

I'm a single mother, and having family around is important, but access to fresh fresh food and natural lifestyle and not having to either live in the city or spend too much time in the car AND in my parents' house and being more available to socialize is seeming much more important....

big hug (big MAMA hug ;~D)

Michelle/Adrienne (I'm heading to go by my middle name, Michelle)

Michelle-
Novia Scotia is a little bit of a hike.

we live in Ipswich, MA. That's not too scarily far. we have a couchbed and raw foods.

my email is cpfriz@hotmail.com.

lets talk!
peace, love, hugs, etc!

Cassiani