I am backsliding. I ate Ezekial cereal with goat milk this morning and I don't think it is raw. I felt o.k. after eating it since I have been 100% raw for quite some time now. Now I just ate some Rice Dream frozen desert. I feel like a failure and I didn't think I could sucumb to eating this way again. What should I do? I am having some major cravings lately and I am thinking in my head "Oh what the hell....and I don't care anymore." I am a little depressed about it and feel I may eating to cover up some emotions I've been feeling lately.

I just needed to confess. Am I doing all that bad, or is it in my head. I feel like if I head down this road, I will end up with an eating disorder like my mom.





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2006 08:52PM by shep252.

wow this sounds familiar - i am about to post a similar story - i totally get the 'whatever and i don't care' feelings.

your eating today doesn't sound bad to me at all - most people would consider it health food. i think you should be proud of what you have achieved so far for your health. you also look like a cute sweet person and sound a lot like a perfectionist so realise you have done nothing wrong - after all its just food and it sounds like your body could deal with it.

but maybe something in your life has gotten you out of your routine leading to the so-called backslide? be sweet and loving to yourself and i'm sure you'll not have to worry about becoming eating disordered.

take care!!

Thanks for the support, Cherie. (BTW, I like the name Cherie because it is my Aunt's name.) Yeah, my body deals with it o.k. but I noticed the pain I used to get in my arm and the tingling comes about 1/2 hour later after I ate the Ezekial cereal and now the Rice Dream. I usually eat a lot of fruit and then some greens in the evenings and a handful of nuts. And some sea veggies. I maybe should eat those instead of stuff that makes my arm feel like it is going numb.

Yeah, I think I know what is getting me off track, it is getting cold outside and I associate it with food. I miss the sun, and I missed my period, and I'm not pregnant. Maybe those are the culprits.

Shep252,

Hang in there! I know what you mean about the sun and also about the cold outside. We've had colder than usual weather with lots of clouds and rain. I miss the sun, too. Maybe you need more variety in your diet.

Why don't you try making yourself some raw soups? It works for me. There are plenty or recipes around and if you have a blender, it's pretty easy and fast.

Mushroom soup, tomato soup, miso soup, brocolli soup - they can all be made quite easily in a blender. You can make a miso soup base and then add any veggies that you want. I usually add zucchini, tomatoes, onions, celery or corn, etc. You can gently warm it on the stove - being careful not to overheat it.

I have found that when the raw lifestyle starts to go a "little flat" for me - I need to add some variety to my menu - it's as simple as that.

I've been slicing apples and mixing them with a little sauce made from dates, lemon juice, cinnamon, salt and a little water. I put them on a plate in the dehydrator and boy are they yummy! I feel like I'm having an apple pie without all the unhealthy stuff.

Anyhoo - I hope this helps a little!

Life Is Good!


alive!

Well, I haven't been 100% raw for more than one week, but that's more than 6 days, which is more than 5, etc... and you've done even more than that, I'll bet!
Build on your successes!

I don't think you should worry about it, and I don't think you should feel bad. But obviously, you do feel bad, so something must be done about it!
Basically, this is how I deal with my feelings regarding life (and my diet)

1) Ideally, I should always feel good while I exist. (And thus, feel good when I eat, when I think about my diet, etc)
2) I don't know for sure that I can't feel good all the time, and until someone can prove to me otherwise, using logic, then I will assume it is possible to feel good all the time.
3) Therefore, anytime I feel bad I will assume that there is instead a way to to feel good, in that situation, and in other situations similar to it.

So long as you choose to believe that it is possible to feel only joy, and no suffering, then every moment of suffering presents itself as an opportunity to reprogram the mind and learn joy instead.

I don't think you should feel bad (and you probably agree), so anytime you feel bad, do not trust your feelings/your mind... in otherwords, basically acknowledge that you are feeling bad, and that you would rather feel good instead.

And I believe the key to feeling good, instead of bad, is simply to change your focus... as soon as you start feeling bad, remind yourself of what you have accomplished thus far, and then move towards more of that instead (instead of trying to move away from what you perceive to be failure). Focus more on your successes than your failures, and I'll bet you have more success (and less "failure" as a consequence).

Regards,
Thomas

One night I had cravings, and I went to sleep and in my dream i ate these dry cooked cookies with milk, and I felt soooo guilty for it. In my dream I was amazed about how easy it was for me to eat it. weird. Do you have any real life friends or close family members? maybe try to convert one of them and you can be like a team! =)

Thanks everyone. That helps out A LOT! I am going to focus on the good. Tomorrow is a brand new day isn't it? ( Hopefully) Yeah, I feel I had acomplished not relying totally on my feelings. But sometimes they come in like a flood when I ignore them sometimes.

Well, I had a dream one night that I ate some fetticcini alfredo and then I got so sick. Some nights I'll dream of honeydew (my favorite fruit) and that I am feeding it to my kids.

Hi Shep.
I've been having intense cravings also. It started after I did the Master Cleanse. I didn't think about the cold and dark of the fall weather but perhaps that is contributing as well.
I hope you and I both can get back on track with ease and joy.
good luck.

Yes thanks. I think I'm back on track. I have the smelliest armpits (and they haven't smelled like this for quite some time) so I know to stay away from food that poisons my body! I hope you get back on track, too!
And I took some of your advice, alive, and changed my menu up a bit. Thank you all for the support.





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2006 10:03PM by shep252.

hey shep

i think that thomaslantern
had some good things to say about building on your successes

oh yeah,

i had a friend get me the most CHEEESSSSSZZZIEST self help "positive" book
well.. to be quite honest,,, the messages were soooooo positive
and cheesy that i just could not HELP but to laugh and smile

i mean, i was thinking : " dude! c'mon! its not THAT simple!

but hey, maybe it is

and like tommy sayz

u can feel good if u choose to

and like shakespeare says

"nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so"

or something like that

so.... my point is that
its all a journey
and no one is keeping tabs on you

but we are here to support you

now as for dreams

i used to have the craziest dreams

and i woke up thinking

"whew!! i'm sure glad THAT was a dream..."

like the time there was this HUGE buffet filled with pizza and brownies
and ... well.. let's say it was like not cool

and i woke up thinking " what the heck was that? since when do i eat PIZZA?


but maybe it was a cool dream
that harkened back to the misty eyed days
when gooey gobby gory galactic gargantuan gords of gorgonzola
on a gallow of triangular dough gallivanting around with other unmentionables
was part of my childhood
ha ha... funny... i do remember the very few times when my family went "out"
for pizza and it was like this family 'event"
so funny now that i think about it

i think that at that age i was more interested in popping quarters into this
glass booth and trying to get the stuffed animal ( or whatever was in there)
then eating the pizza but it was all part of the "happy family" milieu
that they were trying to create

so u never know what your dreams are about
maybe its nostalgia not for the food but for the memories or something like that
i have no clue what i'm talking about well... sort of but not really

dreamzzz

they make me think ... i'm not used to doing that too much

Thanks la veronique, I always enjoy your posts. lol Yeah, you all said some wonderful things. I won't be so hard on myself, I am over it.

Oh Lord, I had a dream of an old boyfriend last night. We were climbing high rocks like we used to do and I almost fell off. Then I made it to the top so easily. Anyway, I used to have dreams like that when I was not raw, but last night since eating some non-raw things, I had that bizarre dream.

For the sweet tooth

Carob Milkshake
-2 tbs. of carob
-2 tbs. of honey
-1.5-2 bananas
-2-4 dates

step 1: blend ingredents
step 2: mmmm boy

oops, add 1/3 cup of water to the list of ingredents. So it should read as follows.


Carob "Milkshake"
-2 tbs. of carob
-2 tbs. of honey
-1.5-2 bananas
-2-4 dates
-1/3 cup of water

shep-
the fall and winter makes me want HEAVY foods. and i feel bad too. and the armpits, yeah.

i find adding some spice to my foods helps a lot. and (i confess, but do not explicitly support as this forum is vegan) raw dairy. and dates and walnuts all smashed up with ginger (oh yum)-

i have to add in the spices that i love, the warming ones like fresh ginger, cayenne (i dry my own from my family's garden), garlic, cinnamon, and whatever else sounds delish. i make meals that will go with the spice i want. i find that helps a lot. and i look forward to coming up with new dishes to showcase something i'm craving, that isn't bad in itself, but that i tend to eat in less healthy foods.

so far, it's working, and i've avoided the 'cereal' type stuff, which always makes me cravy (hey anyone else like that word) and ill. i've also been eating a lot of sorbets. (frozen bananas, strawberries, cherries, they're all so sweet and creamy) and for some reason that is helping with the ice-cream desire which i can't figure out right now.

you're so beautiful and loving, hope you are feeling better and can feel a little less down on yourself.

as for the dream stuff- i used to dream about eating bread all the time, and i would wake up so terrified that i was going to be ill, even in my dream i knew it was making me sick. i was so relieved in the mornings!

dreams have calmed down since pregnancy too, those were CRAZY!

peace-

shep252,

Every time I've tried to work on habits that were'nt serving me any longer, like going from cooked to raw, I always found myself taking an occasional backwards step. This just seems to be part of the process, and nothing to be concerned about. For me, I just made sure I felt fully the effects of my backward step/backslide, and continued on with my new habits.

By the way, there are raw version of cereal/milk or frozen desserts. If you have a champion juicer, you can make banana ice cream by putting bananas through with the blank plate. Or Lydia's has a raw cereal, and you can make almond milk.

Oh thanks everyone. You all are an inspiration. I can feel the love. lol I will have to try some of those.

I hear you Mama Cass on the wierd dreams during pregnancy. Lol I had weird pregnancy dreams 18 months of my life. Crazy crazy!

Well, tonight I am making my favorite raw soup that I haven't made in a while. Arugula soup. And some of our friends are coming tonight, so they will taste it!! I can't wait!

Rock on!

Keep on pushing Shep...no mtter what happens just keep on pushing......here's a neat qoute!

If you are going through hell..keep going!

It's a tough journey but you do reach where you wanna go eventually!