I do. I feel terribly alone, always alienated and I do not feel good most of the time. Leaving is not really an option as there are little ones. I feel something missing. I try to turn him on but he is so turned off its always a fight, " STOP FORCING ME" "Let me go at my own pace" etc. I find cooked food finding its ways into my mind, its smells, flavors. I just know I would like peace. I would like to eat raw. I would like to be and feel beautiful. I just been feeling so much stress. Or maybe with living with someone is stressful. I just feel we have nothing in common. I could go on and on. But I was raw and single for about 8 years before meeting him. I don't want to be single again. I enjoyed living alone. But with children now, I don't think that would be wise. I want healthy happy family, but I want me to find real love myself as well, and not fool myself. My kids are half half. They eat what they like and mostly like cooked food. At least its organic right, I tell myself. I am so sad about this today, thought I would reach out to hear your stories.

I can't give you YOUR answer, but I can say that as for me, I'm with a SAD eater, and although our meals differ, he's very supportive and knows how to make a lot of my favorite dishes. There is more to my life than food. Although that aspect of our relationship differs, we have other things in common that we focus on. I hope you will make the right choice for yourself and be at peace with your decision!

[fresherthanlife.com]

If he's good to you and the kids, and everything else is OK with the family, I wouldn't worry all the time or complain about whether he's raw or not and stop 'pushing him' - just count yourself very lucky to have a decent family.

Concentrate on eating raw yourself and you'll be a good example. When you're raw, you can handle the stress and be a better mother and wife. Just ask yourself what's more important - eating cooked food for a few minutes pleasure or your relationship with your husband and children.

The welfare of your children and your responsibility for them is your top priority. So making peace in the family and giving them a happy childhood is what you need to do. My observation is that there are a lot of 'bitches' out there who are making life miserable for the men and children in their families. Self-absorbed. It's a shame.

Offer him and the kids yummy raw food - like smoothies, soups, banana ice cream, fruit salads and desserts, fresh fruit juices.

Give the kids as much raw food as possible starting with breakfast. For the part that's cooked,try to make it as wholesome as you can - like no dairy, no gluten, no fried food, junk food, no processed and chemical laden food, etc. As far as cooked food for the family goes, you can't go wrong with soups. They're so delicious and filling and about as healthy as you can get with cooked. Just use potatoes or beans or rice as the filler with vegetables and use herbs and spices to make them tasty. Make a huge pot of it so they all get their fill. There are tons of soup recipes out there.

After 'laying off him' for a period of time, you might just ask him if he'd like to try just one small concession - like no meat, or no dairy, or no gluten, and maybe when he experiences feeling better because of the change in diet, he'll become more amenable. I would go very gradually - even one tiny change for a whole year.

If you two get along and he's a good man, you've got it made.

You can get together with other raw foodists in your area for support if you have a meetup group nearby --

[www.meetup.com]

KidRaw's advice is excellent.

My husband is an omnivore, and is quite supportive about the way I eat. A big reason is that I don't nag him or push my food on him. If your partner was not a raw foodist when you met it isn't fair, in my opinion. to expect him to change ... or maybe more accurately, to change to suit your timeframe. It is this expectation that is causing the problem, in my opinion.

My husband's diet is much better than it was when we met 13 years ago. He thought that his very intense exercise program, and the fact that he is lean and wiry, made him bulletproof and he could eat anything he wanted. A lot of athletic people think that. My husband had a major health scare about 4 years ago and has made substantial changes in his diet as a result. He's not a raw foodist, but eats a far healthier diet than he used to. He has told me that I have been a really good example, and I've done it by simply eating the way I do and letting the results speak for themselves.

As KidRaw said, if you two get along and he's a good man (and a good father to the children, I'd add) you've got it made. Back off of the topic of his diet and see if things improve.

Coconutcream,
Well, you already are beautiful and amazing. I am sure you are a very loving parent. I cant imagine what that must be like deciding with another person how to raise children, especially with such different ideas about food and other aspects of life.

As for my own relationship, its pretty amazing. We are suddenly totally in Sync! and we both went vegan. Our diet includes cooked items, but I will definitely take that! And we feel better. We have both gone up and down and through different ideals, but this time it feels so different.

It feels like an epiphany for me, so many things I never understood just make sense now. But it also seems like we have gone so far beyond particulars about food. Its amazing. I also don't really understand how its happened exactly. But sometimes that's not as important as knowing that its happened.

I had done a number of meditations and mantras over the months. One was to remove karma, so maybe that's what did it. There were some rocky things that occurred before the epiphany. I would just say that there is hope, and that things may turn out better for you sooner than you ever expected, although it might not feel that way right now.

I choose to be single and habitate alone but I do omnivores and cooked food eaters. I don't think it's that big of a deal, I just do my own thing, they do theirs. I don't start fights and neither do they.

I live alone, and I don't mind if the people I date eat raw foods or not. But it seems recently that the women that have been in my life over the last 10 years or so have either been raw, or were converted into raw. I never had an agenda to have the people I date eat raw foods, that just showed up organically, probably because I didn't care. Its nice to share meals, but I can share a meal with a cooked foodie, its just that we don't eat the same foods at the meal.

coconutcream Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I do. I feel terribly alone, always alienated and
> I do not feel good most of the time. Leaving is
> not really an option as there are little ones. I
> feel something missing. I try to turn him on but
> he is so turned off its always a fight, " STOP
> FORCING ME" "Let me go at my own pace" etc. I find
> cooked food finding its ways into my mind, its
> smells, flavors. I just know I would like peace. I
> would like to eat raw. I would like to be and feel
> beautiful. I just been feeling so much stress. Or
> maybe with living with someone is stressful. I
> just feel we have nothing in common. I could go on
> and on. But I was raw and single for about 8 years
> before meeting him. I don't want to be single
> again. I enjoyed living alone. But with children
> now, I don't think that would be wise. I want
> healthy happy family, but I want me to find real
> love myself as well, and not fool myself. My kids
> are half half. They eat what they like and mostly
> like cooked food. At least its organic right, I
> tell myself. I am so sad about this today, thought
> I would reach out to hear your stories.

Your partner seems comfortable the way he is and expecting him to change is unrealistic. People only change when they are ready to change, so best not to expect too much and focus on yourself. How l see it is that you are perceiving a negative situation, and there lies the issue imo. Very few have their lives run smoothly, but we can either choose to see it in a negative light or positive light. These tough situations are just experiences to learn from and develop character. Very few things went smoothly in my life...everything seemed to have gone wrong most of my life, BUT it has made me who l am - l became strong and full of wisdom because l learned to deal with everything going wrong around me, so l changed my attitude and are now happy and now l am able to help others.

You have tough cards because you are meant to learn to grow from it. Embrace the situation and learn from it. Best not expect too much from people or you will be disappointed. If you don't have any support it's best to learn to be your own best company, in that way you will never be alone. l've never had any mental support ever from anyone, just criticism and abuse most of my life, but it made me the good person l am today. l chose not to try and change people...l chose to change myself and see things differently. If you are at peace with yourself and love who you are, you will never be alone and will be happy being who you are.

People can yell at me and l don't care, l just smile because l know what i've got (i've got everything because l am me), l know who l am and l know why l am here. People are all at different evolvement levels, so let them be what they must be - if they must yell and eat bad foods, then let them do that. Why not smile about it and see it as a movie or a play, because that's exactly what it is.

People have hard lives, and if they try to fight it they lose out because they are missing the point of having a tough life, it's an opportunity to learn. lt's not a bad thing. lt will take a while, but try to get to a point where these things don't bother you, it can be done.

When people know they can't bother you, it's THEN that they respond differently. Positive vibrations do over power negative vibrations. And two lots of negative vibrations will sink you. If you buy into the negativety you will be sunk, so the challenge is to do it differently. That's one reason why you are here...to learn how to be able to do this...it's a special skill we all must learn, and now it's your time to learn this special skill. When you learn this skill and feel it deeply the world will be your oyster. It happened to Ann Wigmore, it happened to me, now it's your turn.

It's important to meet people at the level they are at. lt's not our place to try and change them.

Utopian Life Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I choose to be single and habitate alone but I do
> omnivores and cooked food eaters. I don't think
> it's that big of a deal, I just do my own thing,
> they do theirs. I don't start fights and neither
> do they.


Oh, geez. I meant "I do DATE omnivores." lol

Thanks you guys. I just am so moody. Being 36 weeks preggers doesnt help. But I get the jist of what you guys are all saying. Its about being positive. I need to really try hard to be positive.

Well, if you're having a problem being as raw as you'd like to be during pregnancy, it's definitely from the cravings caused by your hormones, so just go with the flow, and don't stress on how raw or unraw you are now. But after your baby is born, being as raw as possible will be a huge benefit to you mentally and physically when you're not getting enough sleep. I wish I had known about the RFD when my girls were babies.

coconutcream Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
I need to really try hard to be
> positive.

Yep, but it is very very difficult and will take time to master this art because this is a hard world to live in and we live in a world full of dark low level vibrations, we are swamped with it so it's hard for us to get our head above water. Took me 40 years to tackle the problem and tread water, but it doesn't mean l am home free because the negative forces still try putting my head under the water constantly. Even then, most people won't master it. That's the reality of it, but at least you know what you're up against.

Changing the electromagnetic vibration fields in your home may help. Do you have a smart meter in your home? Do you live close to cell phone towers? Does your husband use cordless or cell phones alot?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/09/2013 10:46PM by The Sproutarian Man.

Hi Coconutcream, there's some really good conversation here re your problem. One thing I didn't read is the extra amount of work you do re preparing different meals for your family and for yourself. Although, your post did suggest that you might eat some of what your family eats, so perhaps I'm a little wrong there. Just the same, what does comes through is your frustration and unhappiness, but also your love.

I'm not 100% raw myself, and actually enjoy some partly to mostly cooked sweet potato or pumkin added to my then 75% raw veg salad. I don't do this all the time, but sometimes I like the change as a treat.

I try to understand the stress that you are undergoing due to your predicament, as each persons trauma is unique to themselves and cannot be fully understood by another. However, if we have gone through a similar situation, and/or have a well developed 'theory of mind' (the ability to as accurately as posible place yourself in the other persons position and understand their emotionality due to their circumstances), then we will have a good indication of that persons feelings.

I don't believe that I'm able to add much more to what has already been disclosed to you. Nevertheless, it seems to me that you think that if your family enjoyed similar food and believed in a similar philosophy, then you all would be much happier and have more in common.

I really feel for you Coconutcream, and it's definately best to try and reduce the stress in your family life and therefore your own life as much as possible. But I would not presume to dictate to you what you should or should not do to enable that to be accomplished. But I'm sure what's been already said could definately give you a beginning point, and something to meditate upon.

Cheers, jalan

Coconut cream,
Someone mentioned electromagnetic forces and pregnancy. There are grounding pads one can order online or possibly obtain in health food stores. That is supposed to help. One could also stand on the ground barefoot and get the same results, but most people don't get enough direct contact with the earth to get effective grounding.

Thanks guys. I am doing well. Had my baby. Thank you for all your comments. I read them all. I am going to take a selfish approach I think for now and do the best I can. Thanks guys so much. I am eating every 3 hours a little salad I make in the mornings and put away, with avo dressing or some nut dressing, or tomato basil etc. I have my chia shake in the morning. My banana apple maca whatever.. and I eat fruit throughout the day when I am hungry. And nuts. I think the secret is exercise. I have moved from society to the forest and I am so terrified of walking through the woods, so I have been sitting around with tv alot. There is so much to be scared of. There are dogs in my neighborhood that attacked both my dogs, and made them both limp since. Ok. Enough. I know, just thinking out loud. Thanks guys I will try to be more active on here and just enjoy conversations. If I might say I think this is the only raw food board that is tried and true for years, how long? and the people on here are all winners.

Congrats on the baby Coconutcream

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Coconutcream are you pregnant again? I wish you would start another on line journal.

wishing you and your little ones well coconutcream

rawlibrarian says:

<< My husband's diet is much better than it was when we met 13 years ago. He thought that his very intense exercise program, and the fact that he is lean and wiry, made him bulletproof and he could eat anything he wanted. A lot of athletic people think that. My husband had a major health scare about 4 years ago and has made substantial changes in his diet as a result. He's not a raw foodist, but eats a far healthier diet than he used to. He has told me that I have been a really good example, and I've done it by simply eating the way I do and letting the results speak for themselves.>>

nice

The only thing I can say now, is that I am high fruit and everyone copies me, so I help everyone and they still eat what they want. I just focus on my life. Its amazing, when you hit rock bottom, how raw is the only way. Raw fruits, I mean that is the only magic in this life for me. Its so good!

You should be a youtube guru, CC.

HH what would I do on youtube. Skype myself in a bikini saying ohh I am eating a banana. Maybe I should do a daily video of me googling.

Thestorm- you are right. I am never alone with boards like these to come and be yourself to

My advice - don't ever stop learning! Don't follow anybodies formula on how to eat, learn from all and find your own way.
Don't feel guilty if you are not 100% raw, learn to forgive yourself and maybe you will learn to forgive your significant other.
By telling people what to do, we accomplish nothing. By giving example, we plant seeds that, sooner or later, come to life. If your significant other is one of the bad cases (chemically addicted so much that it is not going to change ever) then I would advise to try to just improve his diet, not change it. If there are fruit on the table all the time instead of chocolate, chances are fruit will be eaten.
It is a great sacrifice on your side. People do not realize how hard it is and they don't appreciate your effort. They just think they are 'normal' and you are asking for too much. And it is actually opposite. But you can't blame them, the whole world is like them, they feel.

LOL. I don't know man that's up to you. Just thought it might be a good way for you to connect even further with the raw world. Maybe you could bring some real style and integrity to the scene.

coconutcream Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> HH what would I do on youtube. Skype myself in a
> bikini saying ohh I am eating a banana. Maybe I
> should do a daily video of me googling.
>
> Thestorm- you are right. I am never alone with
> boards like these to come and be yourself to

...hm, I just gave you a bunch of generic advice...it is very hard to say anything. I have had a very similar situation and I am not proud of how I handled it. In my mind, I tried hard but in reality, you can always try harder. But, I am not a saint, not a monk. Maybe I just don't have that energy, that will that is necessary to help others lead a better life.
With children, it is even harder.
Compromising is often a wrong thing to do. For instance, I watched videos of what they put in cereal (iron particles that can kill you) and I would NOT let my children eat that, no matter what! I would NOT let my children drink water with fluoride. I would not let my children get vaccinated with modern vaccines. I would NOT! I have made up my mind, I know enough about these things to be able to draw the line. This is how far I can compromise, this is what I simply refuse to do, no questions about it!
Well, luckily for the establishment, I still don't have any children, so it is easy for me to rant about this

By the way, I am in San Diego area, looking at the Saturday sky (no chemtrails), beautiful. Nature is beautiful, extremely beautiful. It gives us food that is beautiful. Should we compromise with that?

I agree with you RAB

I am having a super hard time today. Is it possible that non raw people have inability to handle stress like we do.

A big Congratulations coconutcream! I can only think how fortunate your baby is to have a raw foodie for a mother. I raise a glass of carrot juice to the health of both of you.

In reading the various posts here, I've got to say there is a ton of wisdom. Sometimes it's as though I'm reading the I Ching. You're right that the people who post here are all winners.

Straight up I can tell you that NOTHING would make me happier than my wife going totally raw but I also know I must respect her individuality and the right to be herself whomever she feels that should be.

Way back in the day, when we knew each other but weren't dating, I was 100% raw. We fell in love. Slowly, I began to eat cooked food to accommodate her tastes - I know that's totally illogical but somehow I thought that was what I needed to do.

So I did. In awhile, we got married and I was back to a standard American diet, more or less, but in my heart of hearts I was troubled because I knew a better way and I wasn't doing it.

After a year of marriage, I went 100% raw. And for the first time since getting married, contention began to develop between us. Not much because she isn't a contentious woman but sometimes she would needle me. One day, about a month after I'd gone back to raw, she said "oh you and your bullshit raw food".

"Whoa" I thought!

But she'd just expressed a ton of sentiment to me. I, eating exclusively raw, got under her skin! So, I asked her why it should mattered to her if I choose to eat raw food. I pointed out that I never tell her that she should do this and so, if it makes me happy then what is it to her?"

She never mentioned it again! Until one day I was in an Asian antique furniture store. The woman said if I'd write down my email address, she'd notify me if they had specials. Just as I was about to write down my Hotmail address, Geri, my wife, whispered to me, "put down your rawfoods address; it's a lot cooler".

Really?? A lot cooler?

It was then that I realized that she actually thought the raw food thing I do is totally cool but she finds it frustrating to try to do it because when she does, she goes back to her addiction, cooked food. I get it.

When people find out I'm raw, they're usually quite interested and they'll ask her if she's raw too. She isn't but since getting married, I have seen her come closer to this thing I live by and live for. She has become quite a proponent of raw food even though she hasn't come quite to it yet but when people aren't feeling too healthy, she'll tell them they need to go raw.

And I think she will one day and once she does it long enough to start to experience some of the crazy good benefits, I'm confident she'll eventually be all in. Tonight, we went shopping for groceries and the only thing she bought that wasn't raw was whole wheat English muffins and feta cheese. I was impressed!!

Every week, I'm seeing her coming more to the light of the truth about health and living food.

Naturally, I love her and I want to share this extraordinary reality with her; it may just happen though she may never feel the enthusiasm for it that I do. Or maybe...

In the meantime, I've learned that if I prepare the food and serve it to her, she'll eat it. This is the quietest and maybe the only palatable way (no pun intended) for me to tell her I just wanted to share my durian and mangosteens with her!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2014 03:59AM by Raw4ever.

raw4ever

WOW!!

Im the only raw fooder in my house, but when i start pushing mybf to eat more raw, im firmly reminded that was MY choice, not his. The reality check usually works... I dont push, he fully supports me. I push, he gets a bit snarly.. lol. It works, though...