Hi Everyone, nice to "meet" you

I'm not new to this lifestyle, but this is my third revisit. I've let myself be derailed in the past by relationships, general poor life choices, etc.

In the past, my detox period would last anywhere from 5-14 days, with fatigue and some emotional instability. Thereafter I was truly calm, in a consistently optimistic mood - I would describe myself as a ping pong ball in a swimming pool. Nothing could keep me down/perpetuate a bad mood, I would immediately pop back up with a happy and rational outlook.

Now, eight years later (with only one short stint of raw living in between), I'm well into recovery for addiction and alcoholism with 16 months+ under my belt. Now, however, I'm terrified that the period in my life during which I dosed UNGODLY amounts of LSD, MDMA, cocaine (2-3x a week for 3 years) has damaged my ability to regulate emotions. Then I managed to become physically dependent on alcohol and would actually have seizures if I had to go a few hours without it. This has all resulted in a lot of learning problems, lack of patience, frustration, and "treatment-resistant depression." Sort of the same result as a major blunt-force head trauma. But after two full months of sticking with a 100% raw diet in addition to therapy and Pristiq (a dual-agent antidepressant), I'm experiencing almost no improvement.

For two months, I've started each day with an excellent superfood, I always get in a B12 supplement, and a serving of hemp seeds for the guaranteed dose of omegas I know my brain needs. I eat at least five cups of pure greens just to make sure I haven't skimped. For the last month I've started each day with an hour of yoga. I've learned to meditate unassisted. Sleep is near-perfect.

As recently as this week, I spent two days in bed because I started feeling hell-bent on suicide again. This is an unrelenting, debilitating depression, made all the more frustrating because I make it my primary goal to only do good by my body and mind, yet cannot make any headway.

It's such a childish question, but... when will I feel better? Do I simply have to be more patient because I'm trying to heal from clinical brain damage this time around? I could really use some ideas and hope 'cause I seem to have run out.

If you made it to the end of that, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Annie
26

I think, yes, you will need to develop excellent patience skills and learn to stand back from your emotional tidal waves and just observe them, not act on them, until they have passed. They will pass. That is how you can build character. That you of yesterday is the past. The new you is another better person. Forgive the you of your past so you can move on to a more wholesome life. Try to stay grounded in the present and do the best with that as you can.

Mucuna is great for drug addiction recovery because it's a rich source of L-DOPA, the precursor to dopamine. Dopamine is the main neurotransmitter associated with addiction and when you continuously artificially raise it, your brain naturally starts to produce less and less of it. Mucuna is a good way to naturally boost dopamine.

If you can afford it, I would recommend a brain-boosting bliss elixir of coconut water, raw cacao, mucuna, E3 Live BrainON, and he shou wu. Why would this help?

-Raw cacao contains anandamide, PEA, and magnesium.
-Mucuna contains L-DOPA.
-E3 Live BrainON contains an abundance of B-vitamins and PEA.
-He shou wu contains powerful MAO inhibitors - MAO is an enzyme within our body which functions to recycle and breakdown neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine as well as growth hormones. By inhibiting MAO activity, our feel-good neurotransmitters and hormones remain elevated which not only enhances mood but also delays the aging process. Our ability to inhibit this enzyme diminishes throughout the aging process.
-Coconut water is a nutritious, electrolyte rich base.

If you have access, I would also recommend juicing raw cannabis leaves. Cannabinoids are a great way to promote homeostasis throughout the entire body, but avoid smoking and go for the juice.

Gut health is critical, it's imperative to cleanse and heal the gut and repopulate with an abundance of probiotics (healthy bacteria). Much of our neurochemistry is in our guts - an unhealthy gut leads to an unhealthy mind. Also be sure to get enough sunlight or at the very least supplement with a high-quality D3, such as [www.longevitywarehouse.com]. And of course, exercise!

I will also PM you an article I wrote on defeating depression.

Annie wrote:
As recently as this week, I spent two days in bed because I started feeling hell-bent on suicide again. This is an unrelenting, debilitating depression

Tai:
True story: a family member in another state went through horrible migraines that put her in the hospital many times and her brain became so compromised with pharmaceutical pain drugs over months and years that she ended becoming very suicidal. She did try to commit suicide twice and flatlined and had to be resucitated. She is now on some anti-depressant and refuses to ever come off, for fear she will off herself.

I am an herbalist, but she never listened to me about diet, and never took the herbs that I sent her. Her mother who has had migraines her whole life finally took the herbs and has been migraine-free since. But her daughter went too far with her condition and is looking at a long time of healing before she could come off the anti-depressant.

I helped drug addicts over the years and ex drug addicts and really it is many months and years of healing and rebuilding. MDMA destroys dendrites, so it would be great to regenerate the brain through brain boosting foods and herbs and fresh raw juices (5 cups of greens a day is not enough when healing the brain, if you want to rely solely on raw vegan food).

There is something called the GABA challenge to determine if the blood brain barrier is compromised. This test can reveal to you where you are at in the healing process.
[gettherightdiagnosis.blogspot.com]

You can also take a neurotransmitter assessment, to see if your neurotransmitters are low. There are supplements for them, but you can also eat specific raw foods that might increase them, and perhaps digestive enzymes to make sure you are breaking your food down properly. It would be worthwhile to try sprouting seeds and legumes to increase your amino acid levels. Visit www.thesproutarian.com for nutritional info on sprouting seeds. These could help boost neurotransmitters. I have used herbs and supplements to help people, but food should always be tried first. Sprouted fava beans have much more L-dopa than regular fava beans.

If you are not juicing, I would recommend getting a twin gear juicer to juice greens and vegetables and make that an important addition to your diet daily. I met a man that had inoperable brain cancer (a golf-ball sized tumor) and with heavy juicing, herbs, colonics, high raw vegan diet, etc, he was healed in just months. Then his wife who had something like ovarian cancer did the program and was also healed and then the childless couple that had both faced death, went on to have two children. They used the "incurables" program from Dr. Schulze (www.herbdoc.com). The Gerson program had some brain cancer cases cured and the program features 13 juices a day, with a total of roughly 20 pounds of produce daily. So, when you want to heal a serious brain condition with raw food and avoid drugs, you need serious and rapid nutritional support.

The last thing I want to mention is that it might take years to detox completely. Once I did acupuncture on a man for a knee injury. He said that over the next week, he felt like he was going through heroin withdrawal, which he quit 7 years prior to that time. Apparently the acupuncture released some stored drug in his system. After another session a week later, he was fine. But it shows how long these things can stay in the body. Raw food can detox these things, so be aware.

It would be great to heal with all raw, especially including fresh raw juices. If that doesn't work fast enough, consider working with a naturopath and perhaps even an MD. You need a realistic time frame for your healing and a support system that can help you through it. My one client, whose wife died from alcoholism and who himself was an alcoholic, said that one needs a substitute for the drug. HE said that is why spirituality is incorporated into AA meetings, because that is the substitute for the drug. HE said otherwise, the person is a dry drunk and is generally irritable. (I am not taking on any new clients. I am just sharing some info from past experience.)

Thank you to everyone who's chimed in so far. Even just reading back what I wrote; the description of damage and the "woe is me, it's been two whole months" - seems unrealistic. I'll put these suggestions into practice, but will also work on patience in the meantime.

It helps so much to feel validated, especially when your doctor and family can't quite wrap their heads around what you're doing

FRUIT!!

Get the fruit in!!! BANANAS!

Bananas have these wonderful chemicals in them that
prevent depression and promote feeling good.

I've been where you're at before.
And let me tell you, bananas were the
big changer that rid me of depression I
struggled with for years.

Annie, maybe this article can be of help, it is written by Frederic Patenaude as a response to someone needing help to overcome depression:

[www.sunfood.net]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raw vegan for life. Vegan for the animals. Raw for my health.

This is more on existentialist problem that probably won't be cured by food alone.

While a good diet is helpful, the environment one lives in can override even the best diet as regards mood, positivity and the joy and will of being wanting to be A/Live.

What is your home life like? Where do you Live geographically, and what do you Live in? Where do you work? What are your living companions/family if you have any like? How do you view the current "civilization" WE labor under, (giving away my bias)?

I postulate that WE have unalienable Birthrights to exist under and bath in the forces of Life, namely Sun/Light, Air, Water and Earth, as doing that merges an individual with LIFE and makes them want to Live. A diet is a poor replacement for the above.

If you were able to rent an RV for two weeks and go somewhere South and warm and be able to ignore the debilitating financial pressures WE all face, and spent that two weeks eating clean, hiking mountains daily, bathing and swimming nude in lakes, rivers and streams, and received daily doses of Sun/light on your naked skin, your depression would vanish.

The problem WE ALL face is that WE've created and sustain a mousetrap that prevents the above from occuring for the majority of the populace. The hilarious thing is, WE could also create a culture that grants the above to ALL in short order.

There is a way...

Nunativs wrote:
If you were able to rent an RV for two weeks and go somewhere South and warm and be able to ignore the debilitating financial pressures WE all face, and spent that two weeks eating clean, hiking mountains daily, bathing and swimming nude in lakes, rivers and streams, and received daily doses of Sun/light on your naked skin, your depression would vanish.

Tai:
Have you ever been to a Rainbow Gathering, NuNativs? I have seen the drug camps there, the young people looking for more drugs. THey are in the pristine forest, totally nude in the sun for more than 2 weeks and yes living out of an RV and swimming nude in pristine waters. (Some are nude, but most wear clothes, thank God. What's so special about mosquito and bug bites all over your naked body?) Because they have messed up their brains with drugs, they crave for more drugs because they can't wait for their brains to heal, despite the sun and water and no stress. They completely have no respect or regard for society's norms, so they have no internal stress, other than their messed up biochemistry. This person who did cocaine, MDMA, heavy alcohol, etc needs more than sun and water. ALthough I agree being in a pristine environment brings in a lot of good healing air, which is very good for the brain.

If hard core fresh raw green/veggie/fruit juicing (~3 quarts a day) plus high antioxidant fruit doesn't help fast enough, she might need brain supplements and herbs and if that fails, then working with a naturopath which is expensive or working with a holistic MD is in order. Just my opinion. I only say it because it's gruesome when someone is trying to get clean and repair their brain and stay clean. They need major help, both physically and mentally.

WATCH THE MOVIE MAY I BE FRANK WITH YOU 2010 and you will see, its detox and its terrible. You will be grieving for when your priest yelled at you when you were a little girl in Catholic School. It sets you free though.

These are issues you have been avoiding all your life.

DO you like where you live, who you are with , your job, because soon as a raw vegan you will know and feel everything. New desires will replace the old and you will make things right that you always wanted to, and you will finally get over these humps you been never able to conquer before

^ I agree with the above post. Could be detox.
Especially if you are feeling worse since raw.

But if not..
depression is caused by chemical imbalances in the body
and that can be corrected solely through food.

> While a good diet is helpful, the environment one lives in can override even the best diet as regards mood

I highly disagree. My growing up was anything but rosey.
Most days were difficult. But the right diet, and nothing
could break you down. I found I wasn't even able to cry when
I wanted to because physically I felt SO good, I would just
brush all my cares away and smile anyway.

Hi Annie -

First time posting here so hope this works..
Hey lady, okay I am surprised no one here mentioned the possibility that the medication, Pristiq, you mentioned that you're taking could easily be the cause of your depression.
Everybody knows, (or I thought), that anxiety and depression meds... (brace yourself), can easily CAUSE anxiety and depression. Yea, I know, real effective the way our medical industry works... At any rate, I do not believe at all -not for one second, in going 'cold turkey' off meds.. Esp for depression.
You must talk with your doctor to explore the possibility they could be contributing to your depression. If you don't feel your doc is on the mark with their opinion, get a second opinion from another doctor.
I wish you the very best and am praying for you.

Another thing - when I was in college I went through pretty severe depression (turned out to be the stupid antibiotics I was taking). But it lasted lasted a good long time. What got me through that was lots of sleep and waking up with a chapter of the Bible and praying about everything on my heart and mind.. And then in the evening, again, I would read a chapter of the Bible and do the same thing. Let me tell you, I hung onto God for dear life. But He got me through.
Supporting you in prayer and hope you are feeling better soon. Sending love,
Morgan

hi loveiselectric

i have no advice for you
because everyone else has given enough especially on the diet and environmental front

just wish to point out one thing though

look at your name that you decided to identify yourself with

LOVE

IS

ELECTRIC

focus on that

and focus on the fact that you ARE that

this takes discipline mental courage and a tremendous amount of focus

but do so anyhow

your "name" is your way our



LOVE is indeed ELECTRIC

know it

be it


let that be the core of your practice

everything else just follows naturally....

i meant that your "name"

love is electric

is your way out of the depression

love is electric

this is what your highest knowing is

stay in your highest knowing

that is the only thing that is important

everything else you decide to consume ...do..or think...or feel

... do it from this place


let that electric light
be a soft and inviting glow

and let it be a light that you do not mind looking at

it will not burn your eyes

it will soothe your spirit

and illuminate you from within

trust in that

and all will follow accordingly

Hi loveiselectric. Nice to meet you too!

It think you've received some great advice. I would emphasize agreement with lioness to check your meds, and also Tai's suggestion to consider seeing a Naturopathic Doctor.

Three deficiencies that might be overlooked and could contribute substantially to depression are: iodine, selenium, and vitamin D.

Iodine and selenium are crucial for healthy thyroid function.

All 3 are easily corrected without supplements: Seaweed for iodine, Brazil nuts for selenium (one or two a day are sufficient), sunshine for vitamin D.

Also, physical activity is known to have a major positive effect on mood, and a regular exercise program is important. Do something you like, and/or something that challenges you, and/or a combination of things.

A note of caution: St. John's wort (an herb) is now considered effective for mild-to-moderate depression, but this herb so often seriously interacts with other drugs that I would not recommend it unless approved by a Naturopathic Doctor who is very familiar with the risks and also with your medical history.

Whatever you can do, do it! It sounds like you're already making great progress; and although it may seem like healing is taking forever, you'll be so happy to have stuck with it, and you'll have learned so much from all this.

Great job, and best wishes!

You say you are taking a medication called Pristiq. Have you actually read the warnings/side effects? One says if you see things that are not there. Also anxiety, etc.

So why are you taking a medication? You were prescribed it but if you are eating a raw vegan diet, do you really think you can properly detox if you are taking a medication?

In any case, obviously I am not suggesting you try to wean off such a drug on your own. I suspect it could be dangerous. What is your goal in taking this drug? Are you planning to take it for the rest of your life? Were you diagnosed as bipolar?

If I were you (which I am not so you must do what feels right for you, obviously), I would find a more holistic MD to help wean off the drug and continue with the raw food diet. Good luck in any case.