Hey guys, I just found out I am pregnant! I am staying really positive about it, although its going to be a huge responsibility.
I guess I am here for some advice. I am 100% raw. I might eat indian food once a month when my friends ask me to go. I am 19 also, and I'm in college for fine arts, i model for art classes, just got hired at the local health food store, and make and sell raw desserts out of my own kitchen. anyway- to my point. I have only told friends about baby so far and i am wondering how any of the mommies out there delt with the criticism of your raw food diet, along with juggling so many other task? I know I will be hassled about lack of money and college and especially food. I think my diet is very well rounded. I eat a lot of seaweed (wakame, spirilina, chorella, dulse), i have flax seeds or oil everyday, hemp seeds, nuts, collards, spinach, bananas, oranges, avacados, bell peppers, bee pollen, a superfood mix, and other things of course. i am wondering also if i am leaving out important things i should be eating. i am in the 4-6th week and the organs are developing. i need a baby book but im concerned with the mainstream media. anyone have suggestions for reading?
and also, if anyone has empowering advice for me about how to handle the fact that my boyfriend of 4 years doesnt really want baby (but is willing to work and support her/him) and wouldnt support an unassisted birth. This is a big deal to me. him and I have very opposite feelings about food and health and most all things i want to teach baby about. i have told him i have no problem raising the baby without him and would prefer to. but he insist that it is his responsibility. I know this is all very dramatic, but i am having difficulty getting advice from a raw or health concious parents perspective (except my own).
any and all advice would be more appreciated than you can imagine.
sorry if this is scatter brained. i wasnt quite sure where to end or begin

I just want to say congratulations on the pregnancy :-) Having a child is a huge responsibility, but it is definitely well worth it. If your boyfriend is not very supportive of your lifestyle or your desire to have an unassisted birth then just make a firm commitment to your choices and then he'll have to make a decision...either he accepts what you're doing or he goes his own way. If he's simply sticking around because he feels it's his responsibility then I suggest talking with him about obligation and no child really wants to be raised by someone who is only there because he feels he has to be. That's what I would do anyway. Hmm...not sure what else I have to contribute. It sounds like your diet is very well rounded...I would take a DHA supplement, if you're open to that. It's very important for the fetus's brain development (and also great to take while nursing).

congratulations.

Jinjee has a raw pregnancy book: [www.thegardendiet.com]


I have made a lot of decisions that were not mainstream. I used to get criticism about it and I have thought a lot about that. People had pretty much stopped and I wondered what had changed. Part of it is that people became used to our family being 'different' but a big part was my attitude. I started behaving like it wasn't acceptable to critisize the personal choices we were making. Those choices are private. I started behaving like it would be rude to try to tell me how to live, and I am right, it is rude. What you put in your mouth is one of the most personal things there is.

You have a lot to think about and this is an exciting time for you. With all the worries remember to relax and enjoy it. The pregnancy, the infancy and the child hood doesn't last long so savour it.

I have three kids. If you ever want to PM me feel free. You need to have all the support you can find right now. Let people help you.

Congratulations!

it sounds like you have a lot of fat and protein in your diet, which are the two things that people worry about most with the raw foods diet. i had to develop a very thick layer of skin concerning my diet/health/weight and pregnancy. the first time.

now, doing the EXACT same thing for a second time, people are more hands off and can see that my first child is obviously beautiful and healthy, so therefore i can't be that crazy. Jinjee's stuff is really cool.

ride out the first trimester- its rough. do what you can. i had to juice everything to keep it down. just a warning.

if you want to do an unassisted birth, do it. i made decisions based on keeping my husband happy, my mother 'safe', etc. i regretted it a lot and this time am really strongly set for an unassisted homebirth. my mother is not invited, and my husband is willing to let me do whatever i choose, as the hospital was so hard on us all.

you know your body, listen to it. i spent a lot of time just resting and listening to my body and the baby. it was crazy how much we bonded and how well i could recognize his personality even in the womb. number two is a different personality, and i've spent a little less time on him (potty-training #1) but i feel like we know a lot about each other as well. that's part of the reason i'm strongly led to homebirth- it seems like this little one would like that.

peace-

Mama Cass, your pisture is so fine. I would love one like that with me and my kids.

I don't know if it is because of this thread but I dreamt last night that I was pregnant again and I was so happy. Now I am wondering if I really would be happy.

Congratulations and the Best to you...!

About a book: Dr. Gabriel Cousens, the "raw M.D.," has put quite a long chapter for pregnant women in his book CONSCIOUS EATING. I highly recommend you use his book as a very knowledgeable and sustaining source of information.

In re you and your boyfriend, though for different reasons you both seem to be in agreement that you want to have him around, so it sounds like that is what will happen. I think if I were you I would do a lot of gentle and informative teaching about raw food health and alternative health with him during the pregnancy. I would also discuss with him parenting choices and styles. It's amazing the different ways people think is the "only way" to raise a child and it would be good to get that stuff out in the open before the babe is in arms. For instance: would you want to have "family bed" or at least let the baby sleep with you? (I recommend that by the way; and it makes for a much more restful sleep for the mom who doesn't have to get out of bed when the baby is hungry and makes for a confident child.) My son is now 21 and we did that. It worked out beautifully for us, though we only did it until he was about 3 1/2 years old. Also, how long will you breastfeed your child? I fed my son 90% on mother's milk for 3 years. Again, for us it worked beautifully and I feel this also has a lot to do with my son's inner self-confidence and stability. However some men would balk at nursing a child even for a full year.

Basically what I am saying is that I think these months before the birth are a very important time to learn and to teach, and thus prepare, for your divine arrival.

Hugs!

Edit: Correction. I re-read your post and now see you would PREFER to raise baby without the father. Okay, so now I see more your predicament. This is actually very unfortunate in a way that your b/f feels so ridden with responsibility because in the name of being responsible he could cause you some big trouble down the line in regard to raising your child on raw diet. Also, when he has the baby and later child with him and you are not around you can expect he will be feeding the baby all manner of things you would never feed the child. So... Okay, this is just my own honest response, (coming from a lifelong free spirit): I would get some kind of ironclad (and legal) PROMISE from the b/f about his allowing you to raise the child the way you see fit and if he will not do that I would leave. I would maybe say goodbye in a letter but NOT give a clue as to where I was going, and maybe let him know that one day in some years you will be in touch. Max. You and the baby are too important. Okay. That's pretty radical I know, but just my personal honest response. I raised my son by myself for most of his years (except a short marriage when he was a bit older) and it's not EASY to be a single mom but I think it is MUCH easier to be a single mom and do things the way I KNOW are best than if I had done it any other way. In the end my son only saw his biological father two times before the age of 18, and it really did turn out to be the best thing for all involved (without going into detail).

Best of luck and feel free to email me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/18/2008 12:21AM by Avocadess.

We're reproducing like some type of delicious organic veggie of goodness. :O No seriously, congratulations! ^_^

Blessings to you!

I have one advice - you as a mum knows best, so follow your instinct!

With my first baby, I gave my power away to books teaching nonsesne, and as a consequence I suffered problems with breastfeeding. But with my second baby, I let my instincts rule, fed my baby whenever she wanted, and had no problems at all, not even lack of sleep. Breastfed till she opted out at the age of 3+. Slept with my baby, cuddled a lot, and now she is a happy little girl.

Gosia


RawGosia channel
RawGosia streams

Congradulations!!!!

First of all, stay in touch with supportive people ... I am sure you will do great. You sound like you are right on track.

I've found that When people criticize your choices it's because they feel insecure about it and/or lack information. You can try to educate them, but mostly it's like talking to a post, so keep your responses short and simple, or just laugh it off or return a criticism in joke form. Try to have a sense of humor with the nay-sayers! That's your best weapon!

You can even do a little white lying, "Ugh - I can't eat that - the smell of it makes me nausious." Anyone who's ever been pregnant can relate to that!! teehee You can also mention that the USDA is now recommending "More is Better" instead of 5-a-day. And you can give them charts to read of the protein, folic acid, and calcium content of raw foods.

The last piece of advice I have to give is, do your best to find a man who truly believes the way you do. It seems like there are a LOT more raw men than raw women out there, so the odds are in your favor!! I can't imagine raising a baby on my own. And if you ask many men who are truly good people they would be more than happy to be with someone who already has a kid. As far as the bio dad - yea definitely get the legal parental stuff worked out WAY before hand and have a lawyer sign it. If he doesn't want the kid, have him sign over his parental rights so they will be terminated ASAP. You can't be too careful. My friend had to sign over his parental rights due to a huge misunderstanding regarding the mail and other b.s. and it was really really sad.

Be prepared for the fact that you will probably have to take some major time off school and work. Start talking to your teachers about it now, and get ahead on your work if possible. Best of luck to you, and we hope to hear your posts as you go through your pregnancy!!!

Angie


Me (30), Joseph (24 mo.) Jeremiah (4 mo.)

We are enjoying spring and being outside!!!

Congrats on having new baby soon! My suggestion is to give baby's father some time to just let it gel that he's actually going to be a father and try not to worry about that end of things for now.

Enjoy pregnancy! I loved it both times myself, and never had to deal with being sick or anything..I glowed during that time and I also found some very good health protocols during that time as well.

I breastfed my youngest thru 2+ years and after about 1 yr. old it was really only for comfort sake. Eating healty, eating enough, drinking plenty of fluids all helped. The very important nutrients besides the obvious are iron, iodine, and folic acid. All found in plant based foods.

Love,
Prism

ooh how wonderful for you, congrats.

As much raw food as you can eat should be very beneficial - if you do that, then just relax and have faith in yourself.

whatever happens, you will be fine - so enjoy every day!

take care

--------------------------------------------------

[www.azurastorch.blogspot.com]

Thanks Everyone soooo Much!!!
My b/f is actually lightening up to having baby! He is talking to my belly now and stays concerned with me eating enough (which isint a problem cause if i dont eat every 3-4 hrs then i get tired). He is also willing to work a lot to find us a car (we are walk,bike, and bus people) and a house to rent for now. We are still disagreeing on a lot of trivial things but I think the subjects that you guys have brought up are ones he is willing to let me decide. Like breast feeding I want to do for a few years, Im just concerned with going back to school. I was only going to take this coming fall semester off (baby will prob be born in september when semester starts), and then go back in jan. for spring semester. BUT I am noticing that if i really want to take proper care of baby then I will need more time off than one semester, which I am willing to take. I still have no brought up unassisted birth to him, but i have discussed it with some friends and they all think It is not a good idea to do it by myself. I understand where their concern is coming from, but I am just going to keep my faith high and know that things will happen just as they are going to need to happen.

avacadoess: I have definatly thought about leaving, and I'm not dismissing that as an option if things get going in a negative direction again.


All in all I think Everything is going to work out beautifully. I have a lot of support from my friends and their family, and my mom and sister (my sister is 31 and pregnant for the first time so she is so excited we are both pregnant together!). I have been gentle with explaining things to him and we have been finding more simplarities in how we hope to raise the baby.
thanks everyone. ill keep updating.

so far I have only gotten sick off of eating one thing: portabella mushrooms. Which after I thought about it It seemed obvious That I shouldnt be eating a fungus anyway
and in the last 4 days my breat have grown into monsters! I havnt wore a bra in years. now I am wearing a sports bra and MY breath feels so constricted...

If anyone knows anything about exercising and what to avoid, and when to avoid it, please let me know. I do yoga, five tibeten rites, and i am learning tai chi. i also ride a bike and rollerblade. I want to start hiking more too. thanks everyone!!

I'm glad to hear your b/f is warming up to having a baby. It can be scary to be that young with that much responsibility with no time to really be "you" and discover who "you" are, both as individuals and as a couple. BUT if you give each other the space to learn and grow (without judgement and criticizm) things can go great. Why not attend a marriage class? You might gain some good advice on how to understand each other best... even if marriage is not your goal.

Another tip... Do you guys live together? If so, start leaving books in the bathroom about unassisted birth and/or raw food - serious! Guys love to read in the bathroom - I think it offers them some sacred form of privacy where they can explore thoughts and ideas they would not dare to read sitting in the living room. Some of our best discussions have been spurned from books intentionally left open on certain pages in the bathroom. LOL.

Take care of you!

Angie


Me (30), Joseph (24 mo.) Jeremiah (4 mo.)

We are enjoying spring and being outside!!!

I love that bathroom advice Angie. It is so true, LOL.

i need to get pics of my two men reading together in the bathroom-
they crack me up.

angie-
glad things are working out smoothly

keep updating us!

peace-

Congratulations! Your brain is not scattered. The past pain and insanity has scattered the world. Your brain is pure....and simple.....and you don't need to make sense of it all or understand everyhting. Only....do what you know is right for you....and ....how can you miss? ....especially if you know what is your deepest-most self.

[www.oneillpaul.com-a.googlepages.com]

congratulations, momma!

in terms of exercising, you can keep doing anything you were doing before you got pregnant because your body is already used to doing those things. i maintained a pretty strenuous ashtanga yoga practice (with a few posture modifications after my belly got huge) until 2 weeks before giving birth, and i think it really helped me enjoy a healthy pregnancy. i might forgo the rollerblading, just because of the risk of falling. other then that, go for it!

also, check out www.hypnobirthing.com - these deep relaxation exercises helped me have a great natural birth experience. no pain, just rolling waves of intensity. amazing.

well guys i have some crazy news. I cant eat raw food because it makes me nauseated. the last couple weeks have been hard because i ate one thing that wasnt raw and from then on if i tried eating something as simple as an apple or an orange, ANYTHING raw, i got nauseated and puked. Anything that isint raw that i eat settles my stomach and doesnt make me sick at all. Ive had veggie soups and a lot of asian food, and some indian food. on one end of the spectrum im glad to be tasting some of my old favorites, then on the other end i am so confused cause i was soo happy eating completely raw and i felt great. i dont understand why my body wants to reject anything raw. its just soo weird. and i dont want to worry about the babys nutrients, but its hard not to when im only getting them from a superfood that i cant always handle. this all makes me sad because i wake up each morning with a bloated face cause of the salt and retaining all the water ive had to drink cause of the dead food, plus a lot of my old health problems are coming back like an ear infection, itchy head, and raw blister like thingys in my nose.
i dont know if anyone can give any good advice. but im open to any!!!
juicing is hard to handle cause everything taste so sweet and thats a turn off, same with just smoothies. sweet things are not my friend whereas my main diet was raw desserts and sweet juicy fruit.
help?

the first trimester can be one of detox for many women. your body is prepping for bebe and one way to do that is to release those toxins and get them out. eating raw of course facilitates this very quickly and it can feel uncomfortable and confusing.

here are some suggestions that you can do with what you will:
stay away from restaurant foods, not only is there an abundance of salt, as you have noticed, most restaurants use very poor quality oils that are absolute poison.
instead make some food for yourself at home, try some whole grains, brown rice or whole grain pasta or bread, and some steamed veggies with a squeeze of lemon instead of all that salt. have this with as much simple salad as you can comfortably eat.
make green juice and smoothies with as little sweet in them as is comfortable for you. ditch the sweet fruit if is making you feel gross, go for cucumber instead.
high quality fats like avocado, coconut oil, olives, raw nuts and seeds. make yourself some homemade tahini dressing for that salad, some nut and/or seed milks. you need extra protein right now and a LOT of essential fatty acids. in fact, i recommend supplementing these as they are directly related to the baby's brain development and your mood too. and your skin if you care about that bit.

most of all remember that this is a very fluid time when things change from day to day. try fruit again and again until you find your attraction to it renewed. it will happen.

gabriel cousins has an excellent chapter on pregnancy nutrition in concsious eating, i hear there is good info in the rainbow green book of his as well. there is great, terrific stuff in prescription for nutritional healing too, the library should be able to order these books in for you.

take heart, the body knows what to do with itself. you don't really have much to worry about so relax and enjoy yourself. the baby will take what the baby needs, make sure you get what YOU need to stay healthy throughout.

cheers and good luck. PM me any time about pregnancy/lactating nutrition or unassisted birth if you like.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2008 06:06PM by coco.

second everything coco said.

i confess to not staying high raw during parts of my pregnancy (pineapple really left me hurting and curled up next to the toilet), but i think eating out is a hard way to go if you want to get back raw.

i would listen to your body. drop the sweet. i roasted veggies for a while, sweet tatoes, onions, garlic (lotsa garlic), potatoes, things i NEVER eat. some brown rice pasta. i juiced a lot of greens. be patient, your body is doing something it has never done before, and it's figuring it out. my first pregnancy was harder than my second because i think my body was so confused about what it wanted. i added more seeds and nuts to my diet this time, and i hadn't eaten those for almost a year.

as for the salt- i went through a short phase when i added salt to absolutely everything, so i got seaweed, and added that. and i was bloating and slightly uncomfortable, but then realized that the time i wanted salt was the time that my body was into making more blood. you might be at that time (around 16 weeks your body makes about 40-50% more blood that circulates in YOUR system, salt and nutrients are needed for that).

feel it out, you'll get it. don't feel like you've quit on raw, because next week you might only want orange and apples and almonds. Okay, that's me now, but i'm 34 weeks.

peace-

hi allone 01

just wanted to wish you and precious baby a happy and fulfilling life

also i thought it was nice that your boyfriend was talking to your baby( belly

things may work out surprisingly and beautifully for you, your boyfriend and baby

i am wishing all of you great happiness spiritual protection and joy (yes, joy is different from happiness... its more quiet)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/30/2008 03:28PM by la_veronique.

thanks for all the conforting advice. My appitite for raw has been coming back a little. i can do fruit, but mainly just honeydew, watermelon, and strawberries. I've been trying to pack a acai and banana smoothie with coconut milk in whenever i can get young coconuts. sometimes i just use water and its okay. ill add hemp seed/bee pollen/cacao/goji sometimes. ive been eating a lot of cooked beans lately. I bought some sprouted tortillias which were okay. Ive been eating tomatos plain too. Im very excited though, because my workplace has just expanded their section of raw goodies so instead of going for the veggie soup in the back i can grab some raw bars, breads, or crackers. yay! i just hope my stomach wants to join in on the fun
On the plus side I am catering a raw pizza party this sunday and then the following tuesday is my areas raw potluck so this will help get me into the swing of things again. My body is accepting raw again, maybe in just small quantities, and maybe a lot slower than it would have if i would have avoided reasturant foods, but i still appreciate the experiance it has given me. this is the most valuable knowledge i could have recieved. Raw is truley a healing way of life. Im so happy ive gotten to experiance a life of sad, a life of raw, and a step back into the sad life. it has only showed me what i was conformed to thinking was normal. pain, fatigue, moodiness, eye buggers, smelly armpits, pimples, headaches, ear infections, constipation, ARE NOT NORMAL!!!!!!!! though some of those things come along with being pregnant- i believe they never would have occured if the cooked foods we not introduced. but alas life is good! though i am lazy a lot now, hehe

with love

Congrats! That is so exciting. Green smoothies will be your best friend

Sounds like I was the opposite of you, allone!

In my first trimester I was so nauseous all I could eat was fruit. Couldn't look at greens, nevertheless anything spicy or cooked for months. I actually lost weight. The only fat I ate was avocadoes, pretty much.

Thank goodness I am finally feeling like myself, now that I am 4 months pregnant!
And am craving lots of greens and green juices, green soups, etc. New favorite green juice is pineapple, celery and collards. (Maybe I need the calcium?)
Must buy flax oil for omega 3. I usually prefer the tast of olive, though...

Strange what pregnancy does. I have always had a super flat stomach and am just getting used to having a little belly now. I guess I am just at that stage where I always look bloated (like I just ate a 3 course meal of nut-burgers or something!) instead of pregnant, yet.
I want to look normal or pregnant...I don't like this in between stage, though!
Even though I do feel good, now. But I suppose that's what they say, as soon as you start showing you start feeling better for some reason!

jamielor, did you know a combination of flax and olive is best for the right balance of 3 and 6, it's not good to have too much of either out of balance. if you can find hemp seed oil it's even better, it has a perfect ratio.

no offense but why were you having condom free sex if you dont want a child? this is mindboggling for me...

you can say "no offense" but that doesn't really make an offensive comment any less offensive. you obviously know that you're being rude of you wouldn't have prefaced your judgemental assumption with an appology. what's "mindboggling" is that you bothered to comment when you have nothing to add to the conversation at all.

that just irks me.

Balance and concentration on dark green leafy veges for iron and all important folates. Easy on the carrots (juice) too much vitamin A can cause birth defects.

bobati

you made TWO assumptions

whether they were correct or incorrect

the more germane question is :

what is your intent?

Okay Im not brain dead, its clear from her post that the baby was unplanned. I am disgusted that people are congratulating her for making a mistake! She clearly says that she is not ready for it and that her bf isnt either. Clearly it wasn't planned. Why are people congratulating her. And honestly I am disgusted at how many people here refuse to use condoms. Yes it has chemicals but in this day and age we NEED them. do you guys not care about stds at all?
my intent? this girl needs a reality check. you guys congratulating her and sugarcoating it up isnt going to help her make responsible choices in the future. Keep saying how happy you are for her and she is going to continue to act recklessly.