hello all!
i became a raw foodist in august 2005 and was probably about 90-95% raw for just over three years. when i started i was quite overweight and at the peak of my health i had dropped almost 100lbs. (i think it was about 96lbs.)
then i got married and got pregnant....immediately following the wedding!
at that time i was working full time one hour away from my home. i would get up at 5:20am and would not get home until 6:30pm. that on it's own is a long day, but add pregnancy on top of that and i was toast. i found my pregnancy brought severe exhaustion and i just could not find the energy or will to make/prepare food. at the end of the day i would come home and pretty much immediately fall asleep on the couch, and on the weekends i never left my jammies. my husband strives for health, but nowhere as much as i do, so he unfortunatley was not preparing food as much as i would have liked. he has a tendency to do whatever it is that i am doing, so if i am raw...so is he. if i'm pregnant and scarffing down grilled cheese and fires, so is he less the pregnant part. aside from the level of exhaustion i was experiencing i was also finding that salads (the food i ate most) made me want to vomit. even so much that even thinking about salad made bial creep up my throat. i all of a sudden felt very lost and out of control giving in to every want and desire related to food. i hadn't acted that way since before being raw.
now, two weeks after finding out i was pregnant i was declared legally blind...LEGALLY people, i can still see, however i cannot drive any longer. needless to say i had an emotionally turbulant pregnancy.
fast forward to the arrival of the little dude....i still couldn't get back to raw because he would not leave my person long enough for me to even go to the bathroom, nonetheless prepare food. the depression about where i was health-wise and also trying to come to terms with the fact that i was literally going to be a stay at home mom in every sense of the word was really setting in.
i still have trouble with the fact that i am stuck here everyday, feeling like i have no independence and battle a self pity party often. i am, however, lucky that the local health food store is in walking distance, but even at that, i can't go everyday....i'll go broke
my son finally gave me some breathing room when he was about 5 or 6 months old, but it was too late. cooked food had sucked me in and being depressed about my situation was not helping me regain my drive to make good healthy food for myself. needless to say i have gained back a ton of weight and i had always promised myself i would not get back to where i was. i still am not as heavy as i was, but maybe about half way there. i need to dig down somewhere and pull out the confidence again. i need to find that woman that was fiercely devoted to providing for herself with the knowledge she had learned and put to excellent use. i know what i need to do, stop focusing on the negative and just do it again. some days that works, others not so much. i think that with a little one in the picture i just can't have as high expectations as i used to and that i do have to really take it one day at a time. and i do. it's just so very hard for me to not be in control like i used to be. it's hard to have another human demand so much of you that in the free time you do get, you'd rather get chores done or sleep.
the dichotomy here is that i also know that once you're on the horse your energy level sky rockets.
i have the knowledge, the tools and equipment, and the know how, but i find myself wondering what the heck i ate the first time around? somehow i feel like i'm starting a lower place than i was before. is this even possible?
well, as i said, it is a daily battle and i am trying to do the best i can. i can only hope that things get better with time because i do plan on raising my child in a healthful manner....he's mostly raw
ok, it felt good to get that all down. thanks to anyone who took the time to read this and if anyone out there is going through anything similar with motherhood and raw food, or if anyone has any words of wisdom or advice, that is greatly appreciated, too.
peace and love
rawhippy

It sounds like you have analyzed your situation and understand the combination of causes that have been making it tough for you. Your honesty comes through. It's wonderful that you have had success with a raw diet in the past and want those benefits again. Your child is lucky that you have the knowledge and skills to give him nutritious food. It sounds like you really want this - for yourself and your family. I believe that you just need a little more support to do it.

Perhaps there is a mother's group that you could join. Or maybe there is some other support group near you. It seems like you need other people to talk to, to listen to you and to give you emotional support. You'll find support on this forum, but regular, face-to-face contact could really boost you along. If you can't find or start such a group, or even if you do, keep writing here. We want you to succeed.


My favorite raw vegan

thank you very much for the comments, they are greatly appreciated.
odd you should mention a support group because it has crossed my mind to make up a flyer and put in the local health food store!
just trying to find the courage
thanks again for the suggestion.
so, are there any moms reading this???
peace and love
rawhippy

aawwwwwwwww, sweetie, i know how you feel......
my gal and i had twins in july....and jeez....we feel ya.....
for my gal its been hard in a reverse way. i am SOOO dedicated to raw that it has been hard for her to try and eat an occasional cooked meal. which we thought would be a good idea for her food intale levels. she can't eat the cooked stuff anymore !!! it makes her feel too crappy. we are right at that stage where my gal feels crazy because she hasn't been away from the twins for more than an hour EVER! its a natural process, then we start weening them off. you have got this girl......you already are in the zone mentally, you just have to set a day, and start again. remember that when you are in an addictive state(cooked food,drugs, etc) your brain is actually working full time to deceive you. it is fighting to keep you from suffering the addiction shift. you must fight it or your depression will weigh you down. look at it like a list, you have a list of stuff you need to get off your back before you "may" even feel better. you WILL feel much better!!! like raw, once you go raw again, thats one major thing you can cross off your list. next step is let daddy hang with little man......gotta do it. as a dad let me tell you, you gotta just make dad do it. its all part of the job. but part of the job for you is to MAKE him do it. he'll get used to it. its also the crucial beginning of the next phase for you guys and your baby is the "daddy takes control" phase. which leads in to the " daddy is the coolest parent " phase. anyway, trust your gut. do it for you. do it for the baby. do it for your man. do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are in denial until it is done. keep in mind my gal TRIES to eat cooked food, and can't eat it after she eats one bowl. empty, heavy, fiberless food.
also, no reason why little man can't be 100% raw. our twins are! this one book has helped us immensely. iits called BABY GREENS. tells you what they can and can't eat and when. our twins are already eating kale,banana,chlorella,spirulina,spinach,pears,soaked sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, hemp seeds, flax oil. we also have a 4 year old daughter, and we can tell a massive difference in the development time of our babies who are raw versus our daughter who as raised on toxic bacon and nutrient free junk. Our babies are trying to walk already at 9 months, and can say basic stuff like da-da, and ma-ma. and they wave at us and say hi sometimes.
raw food is serious stuff.......let go and trust your heart earth mama....xo
hit me up if you have any questions roots mama!

The Raw Lion 440 pounds to 225 pounds!