My husband eats meat and dairy. I used to be more accepting of this, but lately it is really starting to bother me. I get grossed out when he eats it and if I comment in the slightest was he becomes irritated with me. I don't know what to do. I hope one day he will become vegan. I try and get him to read some books that are important to me, but he resists. I think he doesn't want to delve to deeply into it because he does love animals and ignorance is bliss (so to speak). I know I can't made him become vegan and it has to come from within, but it is forming a barrier between us. Is this unreasonable of me? I am sure there are others who have been through something similar. Do you have any suggestions?

My husband eats a little bit of meat and dairy too. It doesn't bother me. He is so far in advance of me in many areas-- he's a real Zen yogi type of individual with very high ideals, standards and self-discipline-- that I can't bring myself to fault him in his dietary choices even though I would of course rather he didn't eat meat, especially. He is so tolerant of my flaws and idiosyncracies that I feel I should allow him the same latitude. Also, he's super-healthy and practices calorie restriction and between-meals restraint to a degree that I'm not sure I will ever be able to achieve.

I did, however, gently convince him to eat less animal products about a year ago, and so he is listening to me and making changes. The key, I think, is to lovingly suggest, but not criticize and badger. ;-p I've tried that in the past and it doesn't work!

Your great example will probably move him to make changes in the long run.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

My suggestion is:

Leave him alone about this.

If he isn't asking for your help, and if he isn't ready to make any changes right now, then he will be able to do nothing but resent your interference with his life. Nobody wants another person to tell them what to do if they haven't asked for it. Nor would you.

Do the things that are right for you, set a good example, and maybe one day he will be interested of his own free will. Whether he does or not, it is not your job to pass judgement on anybody. If you want respect, you have to give it, so if you want your choices respected, you must also honor his freedom to choose. Best to keep any comments to yourself.

Sapphire

i`m with sapphire, let him be. we shouldn`t expect people to change just because we change, it`s not fair.
my husband is not raw nor is he vegan or vegetarian. i have impacted his life by example....not huge mind you but he`s walking in the right direction. he just did over a week of strictly vegetarian fresh foods and he has a smoothie every morning.
i don`t look down or judge him for his dietary choices. i love him for his essence, not for his food LOL. i teach him through casual non confrontational conversation...some of it sinks in and some he could give a crap about but i expel my breath anyways LOL. i understand you feeling the way you do but i encourage you to try and get past it and help him in ways where he allowed to grow/change at his own pace. and i think that one of the most important things to remember is not to expect him to change.....just accept him for who he is every day.
patty

Suppose your husband found a new religion and decided that it was the ultimate path in life. And it entailed changing almost everything about the way you live. How would you like to have him following you around critizing everything about you? Especially if you weren't even interested in that particular religion?

Would you resent it? Because in this scenario, he probably believes just as strongly as you believe in veganism. I'm sure he only means to help you, in fact he is only so annoying and obnoxious because he wants the very best for you. (Even if everything he says is absolutely right and you secretly know it is right, you would still resent his comments!)

It's not that there is anything wrong with veganism or religion, but like many other things, you have to want to get there, or it just won't work. I bet you married him for bigger reasons than what he choses to eat at the dinner table, so why let it become an issue?

Sapphire

It disturbs me because I feel like I am more in tune with the vibrations of the food than I used to be. I knew what it was before but I was able the see it in a more abstract way. I could tune it out more. Now I can't help but think of the animals, the exploitation of thier bodies, the theft of there babies and the suffering they had to endure. Maybe I should look beyond it, but I can't help feeling I little sickened. Especially since I am so close to him and you are what you eat. What does that mean when you eat the bodies and secretions from tortures animals?

If before you embarked on eating mostly or all living & raw foods, someone who was convinced it was the best thing for all humanity tried to have you stop any and everything that didn't grow from the soil, wasn't pasteurized, non-gmo, without hormones, preservatives, etc and...deep down you weren't ready to change, would you be receptive?

On the other hand, when you were in fact ready to adapt this lifestyle, you likely gobbled every bit of information about it. If and when he's ready, you won't be able to contain him in his search to learn all he can. In the meantime, let him be.

Wishing you vibrant health

good for you for trying to find a way to reconcile yourself with this. i personally couldn't do it but that is why i am not married and don't live with a partner. to each their own way but... in their own space! that's what i want in my life. a dude can live next door but that's close enough for me!

Couldn't live with a meat eater and actually no meat is allowed in our house period no excuse.

It's is not a easy situation your in but maybe one day he will see that he is thirst for blood and muscle is not necessary except to please is devilsh palate.

difficult issue

Making these comments hurts your husband, or so it would seem. That strikes me as cruelty, in a sense.

I think it's pretty awesome that you're trying to work things out with the situation. I believe in your potential to learn to be fine with it, and that's probably the only way your husband will ever come around anyway. Best of luck

Hi Joanne,
I am curious how long you have been vegan? I'm assuming you were not when you got married? If you were not, I agree that you should lead by example, and make him the best foods ever that are vegan!! Try and lure him in through his taste buds and his stomach! If you were vegetarian or vegan when you first got together, than he knew what he was getting into, and I think you can subtly and yes, through his stomach, try to persuade him! Is he an environmentalist? This can be a key factor in someones decision to go vegan.

I am so lucky, my only serious relationships have been with vegetarians at the least. My husband became a vegetarian on our first date! I think he always wanted to and just needed a little incentive! When we discovered raw foods we both dove into 100%. My hubby had more trouble sticking to it all of the time in the beginning, but now we are both raw and loving it. Such a blessed thing to share with someone.

Sunflower
Raw Food Chef and Writer
Comfortably Raw
[www.comfortablyraw.com]

RawSun,
I have been vegan all along. I am raw now and he is not really into that. It is funny because now that I am raw, vegan doesn't seem like such a radical idea to him. For a long time we have done separate things for our meals, but I think if I start making some vegan dishes that will last for a few days, it will be a good incentive for him to eat those things (bring them to work, etc...) He may just come around one day. Thanks.

Joanne

men

hmmm...

well, i see all these guys on this board who went raw vegan

so i guess they can change after all LOL

yeah, that is a real tough one joanne



but there is always hope

leading by example is the best way

and making it look fun and exciting

also getting him involved in the fun and excitement of making some of the stuff together

have a blast !

Hi Joanne,

That's funny, my family is the opposite, my being vegan really bothered them... it was radical! Now that I'm raw it makes sense to everyone, and they are all willing to try raw foods... it definitely helps when I make yummy meals, but I have nearly everyone drinking green smoothies too after gifting copies of 'Green For Life.'

If your husband is used to the standard diet, than he may need heavier foods in the beginning. You could try and make raw deserts or entrees (with nuts), so they are more satisfying to him... I find those meals win over non raw foodies better than salads and fruits, although they all have their place of course!

Best of luck (o:

Sunflower
Raw Food Chef and Writer
Comfortably Raw
[www.comfortablyraw.com]