I'm simply venting right now... I live at home with my mom and her boyfriend... both rather un healthy... he very unhealthy.... and very self centered... today i came home with lots of fresh produce and began putting them away when i discoverd that my other produce was steeping in milk... when I asked why there was milk all over the place she said oh there was a small leak in the milk... when i began pulling out my milk poached veg she began to help clean it up... I over heard her talking to her BF about it and he said what there was only a little bit... he knew it was there she Knew it was there but no one made any effort to clean it up until i came home... Once I came home and there was a package of barely wrapped raw chicken sitting in the veg crisper on top of all the produce... this happens when he's in a pissy mood... or if i have done or said something that challenges his precious way of gluttony ... I live in a world of passive aggression... do they do this on purpose... I don't think i can give them that much credit... but they sure don't take ME into consideration ... and my way of life is just an inconvenience for everyone... and of course if i say anything about their food well then i'm just rude...

Well that sucks. What a fun environment to live in. All you can do is try to find a way to transcend it so it doesn't bother you. Or wait it out until you can move out on your own. Best of luck.

meh .. in the meantime maybe double bag your produce because cross contamination with raw meats on your raw veg might make you really sick ..

you might want to print something off about this and let them know they are doing something kinda dangerous with your health

ecoli and salmonella poisioning can both be fatal !

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

that sounds so strange, and also gross. well, I maybe you can have your own sealed container for things, or have them seal their stuff, and put it on the lowest portion of the shelf.

luvyuu Wrote:
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> Once I came home and there was a package of barely
> wrapped raw chicken sitting in the veg crisper on
> top of all the produce... this happens when he's
> in a pissy mood... or if i have done or said
> something that challenges his precious way of
> gluttony ... I live in a world of passive
> aggression...

this isnt passive aggression is abuse ... i hope you can talk about this with yoru mom .. if not perhaps you should look at options of moving out

its difficult untill you get on your feet but this kinda of behavior is doing your body no good whatsoever not physically not emotionally not mentally ..its no wonder you have digestive issues ...

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Yeah... I know my body... is not happy here... neither is my mind or my soul... my mom doesn't really want to talk about anything... she runs around trying to make everyone happy... I don't think she's happy about it either... but we are not good at talking... I came home because i was struggling and I needed support... I forgot that she's incapable of this... and living with him ... well let's just say i didn't count on what it would be like to live with him... and now I just feel stuck... a little scared even... but the longer i stay here the worse i feel... funny even though i have my issues with my mom I hate to leave her with him... even though i know she can take care of herself... you're right i need to get out of here... having trouble figuring out where to go though... uhg... decisions... change... 2 things i'm not very good at.

dang .. i really feel for you right now .. what a horrible situation to be in .. are you in the USA? are you working at the moment>?

even a small one room rental with room for a bed and a bar fridge would be more peacefull than living with a sociapath ...

your mom is playing referee , you are playing referee .. even the dudes probably playing referee at times and nobody is really getting along

take yourself out of the picture your mom is a big girl and without having to be in the middle of you and her relationship maybe she will see what a dorkwad the guy really is and move on herself

in the meantime you need to get yourself into a place thats your own no matter how tiny and cheap so you are safe and your food is safe and you can really start to heal ... dealing with daily anxiety at home will always just be a huge roadblock

good luck dear i will be sending you all my good thoughts and prayers tonight that you find the strength to get out of dodge !

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

luvyuu,

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You seem like someone with the best of intentions towards others and it's a shame your mother doesn't validate this(Boyfriend may resent your ties to her, so his validation I wouldn't count on).

Maybe consider whether you aren't a better support for yourself, without them, than your mom & boyfriend are to you; they seem to act as a unit against your interests. Please look for someplace independent from them. The stress of living in this sort of environment does way more damage to a person's internal terrain than the wrong diet ever could. Wishing you peace and sanctuary, dear.

I feel for your plight.

Its stories like that I am so glad I live alone,and the whole house is mine.

Vinny

Well It's actually nice to talk about this with you... I feel validated... cause often i feel like oh maybe i'm just over reacting... but that is because that is what they tell me all the time... show any emotion in this family and you are over reacting... you are way too serious way too negative way too strange in your thinking... he told me this last one when i asked him if he was having an affair on my mom... way to change the focus of attention aye... yes I need to move out I know this... I'm in the USA and barely working... volunteer at a healing center in exchange for services... clean to pay the rent here... clean my dad's office... which is a whole nother crazy relationship... How do I learn how to communicate... there has to be a class I can take... cause i sure didn't learn it from my family... at least not in a good way... how do i get out of here... just close my eyes and leap??? I've done it before ... don't know what i'm so afraid of this time around... thanks again for letting me vent.

love laugh and dream

Luvyuu, even if somebody split milk in an EMPTY fridge it would be unacceptable to just leave it there and not mention it to others sharing the fridge. That kind of behavior is bafflingly disrespectful. You are completely validated my friend.

I recommend this book a lot but think you might find it useful. The library might have a copy.
[www.amazon.com]

luvyuu,

I don't think it's you who has the communication disorder, dear. Look diligently for an out, and then take it. Any one that isn't adding value to your life, but subtracting it, isn't good for your life at this time.

Yeah, it can be hard to have unhealthy eating surrounding you. I know what you mean. I try to tell them how they can eat healthier and try to motivate them at least. But a lot of the time they seem to continue their ways. I stay hopeful that more people will learn the benefits of eating right.

Check out my raw food review blog at rawfoodland.com!

Oh no I don't bother anymore ... they are both "So smart" they know already... even though they don't really... and they don't even try... well my mom does a little... but he... doesn't even try to try... and if i get sucked into a conversation with him about it it usually ends up him insulting me... you're smart you couldn't do the things you do if you weren't but you think weird ... how's that for a back hand... you're way of eating is fine for you but that just too strange... funny how fresh food is stranger then food filled with chemicals and come in cans and dried up in bags...and then they wonder why they don't feel well... but then i wonder why I don't feel well... i eat pretty healthy and am still miserable... It's not the food I know... it's the stress... it's the resentments i'm building... it's this feeling that I never want to ever come back here again... it's the stress when i open my eyes in the morning and realize i have to face another day... yes I am looking to get out of here... I've been looking for awhile... might have to bite the bullet and close my eyes and jump.... job or no job... place to live or no... we'll see!!!