I had to do a mini-lesson with a few first-graders the other day and a couple of them made a snarky comment about their boredom with the activity. I didn't say anything to them because I know that kids are unfiltered and say what they feel and even though we have to learn how to be tactful, it was the end of the week, they were pulled out of a non-academic activity to be a part of my group and since it's an affluent area, they are probably over-booked. So we have a lot of very stressed-out children with no free time and they seem jaded very early on.

To be honest, it really made me reconsider whether this is for me. The one saving grace is that if I get a teaching certificate I might be able to do other stuff with it that doesn't directly involve teaching (like diagnostics, for example). Or become a Montessori teacher. I observed at one of them last year and it was really fascinating how they approached learning.

So any thoughts on why kids are so disillusioned at such an early age?

It's awful, isn't it? I can't get over the attitude of entitlement in every kid I know, including my own. My ex has traveled the world and decided to never have kids in North America, he says they are all spoiled, ungrateful, nasty, greedy, unhappy little monsters compared to children in some of the poorest places he's been to. There the kids are happy, cheerful, helpful, lovely and well mannered, if you can believe that. They play outside together all day, they don't have any toys or electronics at all and no fancy clothes or kid specific meals. They eat what they're served, they look out for each other and they are genuinely happy. In his travel files he has pictures of grinning faces from all over the planet.
It's sad because I know how much he loves kids, he's great with mine and always has been with our friend's children too. He's like a big kid himself. He just can't get over how ungrateful and basically miserable kids in our culture are.

How does it happen and how to combat it? All the privilege has ruined them, I just have no idea how to change that.
I do think a part of it is that we don't have an attitude of organic inclusion of children in our culture, also no coming of age rituals that clearly define their roles as pertains to life stages. It's confusing for kids and for our culture in general to have kids so segregated from the rest of life. In many other cultures kids are just a part of life, they are included in everything, visible and expected. Here kids have their places and aren't really welcome in the rest of life. They are expected to NOT be present in many aspects of life that I think should involve them too. Not just school and the park, but everywhere.


Montessory and Waldorf schools are amazing but expensive. There you would be teaching the most privileged children exclusively I'm afraid. If you wanted to join a community of like-minded people though those skills would be an asset. I know Pacha Mama in Costa Rica employs a children's teacher at their raw food compound. I wanted that job but don't have the official qualifications. What a dream though, you could make it real for you .



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/19/2012 04:26PM by coco.

Perhaps you need to teach the kids what real boredom is. What about having the kids just sit, in silence, and let them get in touch with their inner demons.

That's a bit like trying to get them to stop crying over a stubbed toe by saying at least it isn't a broken leg. Kids just don't think that way, they are SO in the moment. And being still is really contrary to their nature at many phases of their development, especially boys. I don't know what the answer is but it's got to lie somewhere between self-discipline and awareness.
Mine choose a charity at Xmas and for bdays to donate to instead of receiving lots of gifts themselves, they still get something very nice but not gargantuan piles of stuff. It's hard to get family to go along with this though. The point of it is to illustrate how others live and also how fortunate they are themselves. They are so incredibly fortunate though, it's impossible for them to conceptualize otherwise.
I think about taking them with me to volunteer in another country where people live with barely anything but the idea of having the luxury to actually fly to a place like that for a curiosity visit, even if it is to help out, sickens me with it's self-indulgence. Isn't it nice to have the option of voluntary simplicity just because we want it? Sigh. First world troubles indeed.

It could be related to exposure to the media. If the kids watch a lot of TV, then they may develop a superficial personality based on quick wants. But if they spend time alone, then they may develop a reflexive personality.

Man, i dont have kids,but if I did,they would be living a different life than most do.
No cell phone until they got old enough to be out driving.
No computer in their rooms.
No texting.
No video games.

In short,no drowning out in the media.

They would be doing what I did.....out playin in the dirt with a tin truck,climbing a tree,playing hide and seek,throwin a baseball,collecting rocks,riding their bikes.
And having SOMETHING to do with religon.

VINNY

Its funny.
As I think of it I remember my grandparents when I was a kid saying stuff like"what do they need that for,they should be out playing".They were referring to my stereo,and maybe some of the new toys and gadgets that were around in the 60's and 70's.
It never changes.

eaglefly Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Man, i dont have kids,but if I did,they would be
> living a different life than most do.
> No cell phone until they got old enough to be out
> driving.
> No computer in their rooms.
> No texting.
> No video games.
>
> In short,no drowning out in the media.


My kids don't have those things either Vinny, my oldest is just shy of 11 though so who knows what his friends will be up to in a couple years that he'll want too. He's got a close buddy who plays a LOT of video games and another who spends all the time on the computer (he homeschools so it's really all day). His computer loving friend is only 11 but his parents have let him play things like Assassin's Creed and Halo, my son is just appalled at the violence of those (he hasn't seen or played, only heard about them from his friend). But what their peers are doing has such impact, he spends 5 days a week with those kids! There's really no way to get away from it, no kid in the world wants to be out playin in the dirt with a tin truck,climbing a tree,playing hide and seek,throwin a baseball,collecting rocks,riding their bikes all by themselves and it's not safe without a group of other kids either. But everybody else is inside the house with their face glued to a screen, literally changing the way the brain develops. It's scary.

BananaWho that may be key to the behavior of those kids. I can't find a link to it but I read an article recently about areas of the brain that deal with empathy, rational thinking, etc not developing in kids that spend even moderate time on the computer or in front of TV. So they literally aren't the same as kids from a few years ago.

This is amazing! The boy with no toys...

[lauragraceweldon.com]

I think technology has everything to do with this. But if I had kids (I know, easy to say), I'd do everything Vinny suggested. NO cell phones, etc. And maybe find a homeschooling network so they'd be with like-minded kids (or I would have them associate with children whose parents think like I do). Because Coco, you are right: even if you don't allow something, if they are hanging with the indulged kids, they'll start to think like them.

But if parents are into Waldorf and Montessori, I think they are already more conscious and less likely to give their kids a bunch of electronic toys or over-schedule them.

This is so incredibly sad. What do you expect of a generation of kids raised on violent TV and video games though. Sad sad sad sad sad.

[ca.news.yahoo.com]

Those video games are appaling.
Bodies getting blown to bits with sprays of blood.
People fallng hundreds of feet and surviving.
The kids get the impression people are indestructable,and of course thats the farthest thing from the truth.A fall from 20 ft can be fatal.

Viny

A fall from under 3 feet resulted in a broken arm and dislocated wrist for my son that required an ambulance ride to the hospital for a closed reduction under general anesthetic after 2 shots of morphine for pain. It really sucked.
Kids shouldn't spend their lives terrified of adventure but they also shouldn't think that they can use an open umbrella as a parachute.

They are taught from a very early age that entitlements are a good thing. It is ingrained in their thought processes as part of a larger social liberal experiment.

coco Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's awful, isn't it? I can't get over the
> attitude of entitlement in every kid I know,
> including my own. My ex has traveled the world and
> decided to never have kids in North America, he
> says they are all spoiled, ungrateful, nasty,
> greedy, unhappy little monsters compared to
> children in some of the poorest places he's been
> to. There the kids are happy, cheerful, helpful,
> lovely and well mannered, if you can believe that.
> They play outside together all day, they don't
> have any toys or electronics at all and no fancy
> clothes or kid specific meals. They eat what
> they're served, they look out for each other and
> they are genuinely happy. In his travel files he
> has pictures of grinning faces from all over the
> planet.
> It's sad because I know how much he loves kids,
> he's great with mine and always has been with our
> friend's children too. He's like a big kid
> himself. He just can't get over how ungrateful and
> basically miserable kids in our culture are.
>
> How does it happen and how to combat it? All the
> privilege has ruined them, I just have no idea how
> to change that.
> I do think a part of it is that we don't have an
> attitude of organic inclusion of children in our
> culture, also no coming of age rituals that
> clearly define their roles as pertains to life
> stages. It's confusing for kids and for our
> culture in general to have kids so segregated from
> the rest of life. In many other cultures kids are
> just a part of life, they are included in
> everything, visible and expected. Here kids have
> their places and aren't really welcome in the rest
> of life. They are expected to NOT be present in
> many aspects of life that I think should involve
> them too. Not just school and the park, but
> everywhere.
>
>
> Montessory and Waldorf schools are amazing but
> expensive. There you would be teaching the most
> privileged children exclusively I'm afraid. If you
> wanted to join a community of like-minded people
> though those skills would be an asset. I know
> Pacha Mama in Costa Rica employs a children's
> teacher at their raw food compound. I wanted that
> job but don't have the official qualifications.
> What a dream though, you could make it real for
> you .

banana who Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So any thoughts on why kids are so disillusioned at such an early age?

BW...you and Coco are always calling Children...Kids. I picture a bunch of Goats every time you do. But then again, I called some of you Women...Ladies, and got my head bit off......WY

LOL, WY. I don't know how old you are but my dad is in his 90s and I remember when I was a KID that he always so irked when I used that term. He'd say "a kid is a baby goat." I thought it was so silly to take offense at the term but perhaps in his day it was considered rude.

I don't think I objected to the term "ladies" but just the fact that you even thought to mention our gender in the first place. I prefer dealing with the opposite sex as fellow human beings but some men and women seem rather uncomfortable with the opposite sex. I was a tomboy when young and prefered guys, actually. I feel uncomfortable around "men's men." You know, the whole macho trip. Definitely not accusing you of it, but just an explanation.

Since you kicked this, WY, I thought I would give an update on my experiences as a future educator: I did another activity at this school a couple of weeks ago and the kids exclaimed afterwards that it had been "fun" (and I didn't try to jazz it up to make it interesting; it was a very simple thing). So my faith was restored that it's not all bleak!