i woke up this morning 2 my parents bashing me about my acne and what i believe in using 2 treat it,, long story short i hav recently developed cystic acne that is causing really bad scarring, this started around 4 months ago,, right around the time i decided 2 transition 2 raw,, before this i had tried modern medicine wich included antibiotics and creams,, which i didnt want 2 do but i gave into just 2 get my parents off my back,, it looked like it was working a little bit,,it wasnt cystic,, but honestly it was far worse than it is now, my skin was not breathing and wouldnt exfoliate no matter what,, it was so insanely clogged,, and now its soo much smoother and much better,,,, but neways before that years earlier i tried proactiv,, which burned my skin, my mom insists i use that now since it worked then but i couldnt possibly use it now bc my skin is waay more sesitive than it was then,,,, so my parents were bashing me saying things like everything is organic, theres no such thing as organic food....? i tried 2 explain 2 them that the organic i was talking about was a modern system that is used for growing natural and environmentally safe foods and clothing and watever,, we just kept going in circles,, he kept thinking i was an idiot for saying x-thing was organic,, then i told him that produce and everything conventional is sprayed with pesticides and radiated... and you wouldnt believe the response i got " RADIATION DOSENT HURT ANYONE, THE BIBLE SAYS IN THE END TIMES THE SUN WILL RADIATE EVERYONE 2 DEATH'

seriouly ppl the only thing i could do was clench my teeth,, seeing as im not allowed 2 say anything "disrespectful" or what i like to call the truth 2 him,,and then he tried 2 explain 2 me that pesticides save us from bad bugs and ppl hav been using them for years and are fine,, and that pasteurization has saved soo many ppl,, we got into an argument about pasteurization after he forced me 2 eat sum jelly smoothie pack hes making at a coffe place hes going 2 buy,, i kno its ok once in a while but im trying 2 do 100% raw so i can get rid of all my cravings,, he dosent care no matter how many times i try and show him, he just thinks im an idiot,,, and then the biggest argument was with the antibiotics he claimed if antibiotics are so bad why did they save so many people,, i tried 2 explain 2 him that i already tried antibiotics and that they didnt help,,they made my acne worse bc of the flush out of probiotics that they caused,,, he kept repeating so you can justifiy not using pobiotics bc of they flush out good bacteria, when they hav saved so many ppls lives.... isnt that called an antibacterial which you can apply externally..?
so neways idk wat 2 do with my parents,, i need 2 do things that i believe are best for me, and i dont continue doing things that ive tried that i realize DONT WORK, my parents dont really want 2 help me try the all natural route,, i told them that i kno there is something wrong inside of me that is causing this, and i dont believe in throwing a pill at it in hopes that it will solve everything,, they cant see the grip the FDA has on everybody,, well im sorry this is so long,, i guess this is a rant,, sorry about that i just needed 2 get it off my chest

glad yer back and ranting i really feel for you and the frustration you must be feeling. getting so stressed out over something that ultimately is your choice and nobody elses, just causes your acne to worsen so although they mean well theyre not helping much by being negative towards your choices

i can only suggest a couple of things , instead of arguing with them the merits of what you are trying to do, simply hear them out , smile and tell them you will take into consideration what their fears and ideas are, and go about doing what your doing anyways. fruits adn vegetables are part of a healthy diet no matter what anyone says, they cant dispute that no matter what, by not buying into their pissing in the sandbox contest your showing maturity in your ways of handling situations.

you can also take the road that you would suggest that you all go to family counselling to deal with the way everyone communicates with each other, lol this will do one of a few things, it will either show them that you are mature enough to want to discuss things rationally, or they will completely back off the idea not wanting outside interference with their idea of perfect parenting. I had a stepfather at one time with the attitude of dont do what i do , do what i say. when i challenged him to come to counsellign with me he backed off, i suspect he had many deep fears that i dont find any reason to go into here but you get what im saying.

your parents are seeing you change and that is ultimately fearfull for them, but its your face that you have to live with (long after their gone), and you should be able to reach some harmoniuos balance with cooperation from both sides

im not sure how old you are fuzzy and if you would tell me in a Private message if you dont want to say here thats fine but these are some thoughts to think on now, btw your private message box is FULL

- jodi

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

wow fuzzysox

how u keep your sanity
i have NO idea

but yer parents aren't much different from how many cooked foodists think
so if you aren't dealing with it at home
you may be dealing with it at work or in social life or whatever
it's all over the place

when people start getting on their cooked high horse
i just look at them

don't say a thing
and just say "hmm... is that what you think"?

and then just continue on
pretend the conversation never existed

is it my job to spend 50 hours trying to change EVERONE'S mind?

i'm gonna do what i'm gonna do

and they're gonna do what they're gonna do


i can still do what i'm doing without them changing

but then again, if your parents are the ones choosing and buying the food
that may be a different story

i bet u have your own strategies and solutions already
so do whatever u have to do

good luck

hey hun good luck..i know we chatted on this earlier..i think things will work out..just stay strong!!
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

I read this yesterday and didn't have time to post. I want to say how much I can relate to how you're feeling. It is so hard when you are still under your parents responsibilty. They aren't perfect and it is their job to worry about you. They should guide you the best way they know how to do. It doesn't make them educated or correct. If their concerns come from a loving place then you can take comfort in that. I use Proactive. I quit using it when I went mostly raw months ago but decided to start again recently because my face was breaking out so badly in these odd little bumps, candida detox? Anyway, Proactive burns me too if I use it twice a day everyday like the directions say. I use it two to three time a week and it works great like that. Maybe if you could do something to meet your parents somewhere in the middle it would go toward appeasing them some. Sorry I don't have better advice. I am sending out some positive energy your way.

i hate to say this and point out the obvious
but it seems to me that your parents should love you regardless of your complexion

that just seems like "duh!!!"

maybe that is not helpful for me to say
but i had to say that

stick to your guns
do what you think is right for you
i think your parents will be JUST FINE if you stop taking proactive

ohhh this is horrible.....

i know you have eprobalby gotten some awesome advice from EA on this since you talked privately...

i do not agree wiht them forcing you to eat something at their demand.

never argue back, never talk back, acknowledge they may be right, offer acceptable comprimises. do what you need to do to make peace with in the limits of your own perosnal convictions.

the important thing is NEVER YELL OR ARGE BACK. bite your tounge, pray it through, keep educated but not "arogant about your knowledge" don't ever say that your diet is superior.

i don't know what else to say except that woah.. it is a tough situation. i thought i had it tough being with a cooked husband.... it must be tough to be under someone else legal control...

i am praying for you.... it WILL get better..

tiffntwins

beautiful advice tiff!!!! i am sure that helped so much...all we can do is keep her in our thoughts and prayers and her family as well..that is what i do!!! i am sending good vibes your way fuzzy!!!
take care sweets
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

wow thanks for the good vibes youguys :],,, things are still the same, and i expect they will always be,,

hey jgunn :] i havent suggested counseling,, ive been with them before, but never together,, but that was 4 other problems,, i can just imagine wat they would say if i suggested that "ARE YOU BEING SMART WITH ME", and "WE CANT AFFORD THAT" it was a great idea tho

LaV ur so right about everyone going about their own business,,i just try and keep quiet about it,,sometimes i cant thelp myself, i get blamed for expenses spent on food, when the realiy is they really spend very little on me, i eat conventonal produce and only a limited amount of things like spinache and apples and maybe 4 more things,, and before 3 months ago (when i stopped working at my dads pizza place) i bought 100% of what i ate for like 2 years,,, its just hard i try 2 defend myself in a way where i dont come off like i am being disrespectful or arrogant, but they always think i am bc i insist on trying things that i believe will work for me,,, i really dont kno how i stay sane,, before going raw i really wasnt

pkd4fun idk if my parents want the best for me its like 60% of the time they put me down and the other 40% theyre normal,, thats the problem they never want 2 expand their thinking,, anytime i talk about something different looking at someone or something or doing things in a different way,, they dont even take the time 2 look into it,, its really disheartening,, thats a good idea about the proactiv,, if wat im using right now dosent work i will prolly start using it,, my parents dont really like 2 invest money in things that i want 2 try

hey tiffany, i never really argue back unless i am being forced, and even then its not arguing its just disagreeing,, and i still get bashed for thaat,, ooh lol ive never said that my diet is superior, i learned not 2 do that a long time ago,, i just want 2 get to the point where i can say this is what works for me,, maybe not you, but for me it does,, im still working on physically showing them that,, usually i just let it blow over unless it gets out of hand and then i disagree,, which i get in trouble for,, but i hav rarely argued,, i dont think my dad acts very "christianly" which he thinks he is,, so i dont act like him,,because i cant personally tell him that,, so i was threatened of being kicked out of my house bc i didnt read my bible everyday and go to church, and bc i wasnt following his christian bs that he thinks is christian,, ive never done nething like drugs or sex or nething and im still treated like the bad sheep,, thats an example of hw hes like

hi earthangel :]] thanks for all those nights u im'ed me :] ur so sweet and so supportive, and i hope someday i can be like you

thankyou all you are all wonderful i just always think im alone on this,, like im the one who is being stupid, but i feel better now im sucking in all the good vibes :p

Believe it or not someday soon you will be on your own and won't have to deal with being "under" them anymore. And the rest of your life is going to be a long time. My mother wasn't careing either. My dad was but not concerned with what I was doing. I had a miserable childhood but it gets better if you make it better. Just remember you have lots to look forward to and with your ability to educate yourself in spite of your parents you are already ahead of the game.

With love,
Kise'

honestly who cares what youre parents think .. its what you think of yourself hun .. my parents think im an idiot .. my brothers and sisters think ima failure ... but guess what .. out of 8 kids and 2 parents im probably the happiest of them all .. i dont seek out false happiness in possessions or landmarks in job kudos ... i do whats good for me what makes me happy .. so whos the loser here im happy out of 10 people 1 outta 10.. shhhh dont tell em my secret =p

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

i'm TELLLLIN JGUNN!

whooo hOOoOOO

she'ssss happpyyyyyy

Happiness is everything .

Fuzzysox,
Hey, I know it's tough, but hang in there and don't give up. We're here to support you. I know it's hard (been there with my folks), but you will be out on your own before you know it. I went through similar things with a very unsupportive family when I was growing up. If you can find a friend or mentor you really trust and feel comfortable with, I think that might help a lot. Feel free to PM me anytime you'd like--- oh wait, you'll have to e-mail me at sharrhan@verizon.net, because my rawfoods e-mail is dysfunctional.


Jgunn,
I got a kick out of your post!

I too was somehow cast as the horrible little black sheep of my family, and from that experience over time I gained enormous inner strength as I learned (eventually) not to give a hoot what others think of me or my choices.

(Most of the time I think 'I'm delightfully WEIRD AND WONDERFUL!') ;-D

Best of all, my mom went through an amazing metamophosis a few years ago when she took a bad fall that knocked her brain circuitry around (I think it was NDE), and since then she's been my best friend and biggest fan.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

black sheeeeepzzz

RawwwcccckkkkkkKKKK

its easy to forget how much our own viewpoints have changed. Of course things like pasteurization, pesticides, radiation all seem cut and dry issues to us, but these are really complicated points to articulate to the uninitiated.

try to avoid confrontation on these types of issues. sometimes you have to grin and bear it to maintain a certain level of mutual respect (and in your case control over food choices)

Best of all, my mom went through an amazing metamophosis a few years ago when she took a bad fall that knocked her brain circuitry around (I think it was NDE), and since then she's been my best friend and biggest fan.




Knocked some sense into her own head - hee-hee --- Just kidding!

I had some dietary angst with my dad between ages 27-35. But then he softened, and now he loves my diet, he thinks it's fab.

I send him scientific papers that are pretty convincing.

lol Kwan thats kinda funny bout your mom .. cept for the knock in the head lol\

i dont mind bein the black sheep

ive come to learn that my truths are my truths .. everyone else beleives what they want too and thats great thats their thruths

everything in this world has a argument or counterargument

i find that letting people discover things for themselves is more convincing then trying to convince them of my point of view

ok so i help things along by leaving strategically places printed articles around but hey ive been called worse then manipulative or passive aggressive

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

I tell my son: honor you mother and father (and stepfather) and save money to move out!

laughter always helps.


sox, have you any idea why the acne went cystic? and did your parents ever say if they had it? (not that i'm suggesting anything..evil wink)

Can your parents afford to get you into a dermatologist, they can use new tools now to help clear your skin of the bacteria and then give you some advise on how to keep it from recurring.

You might try using a hand sanitizer and use that often thru-out the day, we do touch our faces quite often and our hands are full of germs which then get onto our faces which doesn't help when you have open sores and or pimples.

I would use some peroxide on a cotton ball or cosmetic pad and use that on your face and neck at least twice a day..you could dilute it with some distilled or spring water if it stings too much at first.

I also would suggest getting a bottle of liquid B vitamins and taking that daily.

Zinc oxide works for healing and you could use it at night at bedtime..just use a thin layer of where needed. You can find it in your pharmacy or health food store.

Ok, enough of that..I want to say that you aren't alone, there are tons of kids out there with parents that have some large flaws, but we all have our flaws. You'll get thru this time in your life, and as you get out on your own you will see that you have many options and choices to make. You never know what may be around the next corner!

Love,
Prism

Some one told me this: when you can't go to counseling and you don't want to fight you can communicate things that NO ONE CAN ARGUE WITH: Such as-

I feel really sad...becuase I wish...

or

I feel this sadness in my chest...here.

(no one can say: you don't feel sad...unless in fact you don't and they notice).

I tried this with my parents a while back...just saying...yeah it sucked growing up in a freezing cold room. I feel so thrilled with my warm room now (on the phone)...and such things. They did turn around becuase I wasn't like YOU THIS, YOU THAT.

YEEAHH....ANYWAYZ

fuzzy, I totally relate. I was in an abusive adopted family situation and had acne. My adopted mom used to yell at me for not "washing my face properly" and decided to show me how it was done by putting the tap on as high as it would go and taking a wash cloth and scrubbing the living hell out of my face.

Of course, it didn't help. I tried Proactiv as an adult after leaving the care of a Dermatologist. I saw that Proactiv ate through the plastic on my sunglasses. That scared me. If it did that to plastic, what was it doing to my skin? Why was it staying in my pores to get into my sunglasses? So, after that, I stopped using Proactiv.

I spoke to a man one time who said his mother around the time they all turned teenagers, chopped down their Sasparilla tree and made a tea from the roots. None of them ever developed acne. The man's face was smooth and without signs of a single blemish and being Black, the scars would've shown very clearly if he had ever had acne.

Anyhow, acne is caused by toxins being released through the skin, especially dairy related products. For your parents, maybe they should read the Poisoned Needle or the latest article about how babies have become autistic due to childhood vaccinations on Yahoo, etc. [www.whale.to] My stepsister is a nurse and she still doesn't believe me about traditional medicine. It's her loss.

Anyhow, I wish I could tell you everything is going to be alright. The only thing that you can do is to learn from the situation. Write a diary or journal. Also, when you are old enough to support yourself, be ready to leave. I left my adopted home at age 18. I went to live with a well-adjusted friend's family for about 7 months. That was great to see how an emotionally healthy family functioned. I never went back to live with the adopted family on a prolonged, permanent basis. I did reconcile for a couple of years and then at age 20, left the adopted parents for good. (They died about 12 years later. I never saw them again prior to their death. I only learned of their death because I was sent a Notice of Probate in the mail.) Unfortunately, the abuse I received stayed in my head. I'm still trying to overcome it. Just because you leave a situation, it doesn't mean that the conditioning has been released.

Realize that you have a right to be heard whether or not you're right. If you're wrong, apologize and correct. If you're right, if they're reasonable, they will do the same. However, not all of us is emotionally mature. Just because one is a parent, it doesn't mean that one is equipped to emotionally handle a situation/oneself properly.

Realize that you are a valuable, worthwhile human being. You must value yourself most after Yahweh. When it is said to "Honor thy father and thy mother", it does not mean that they have a right to abuse you. They should honor/cherish/respect you in return. There is one thing that is against most of us on the raw path, though, that is outside of our immediate control. The Depopulation Act requires that so many people die/year. So, Main Stream Media, etc. collude to kill off as many as possible. Your parents are not willing to seek the truth so there will be no changing them. You must do the best you can in your situation.

I wish you strength and love,
Therese

Life 101--
>fuzzy, I totally relate. I was in an abusive adopted family situation and had acne. My adopted mom used to yell at me for not "washing my face properly" and decided to show me how it was done by putting the tap on as high as it would go and taking a wash cloth and scrubbing the living hell out of my face.<

Wow, it's like deja vu reading your post, life101! I was adopted and I had almost exactly the same experience with my parents screaming at me about my blackheads and how I was so 'dirty' and was going to have tons of wrinkles by the time I was 30 if I didn't start washing my face properly. It was weird and crazy-making, and they made me use really, really hot water on my face too, just like you.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

therese, i loved your post. really.