he looks like the accountant that lives down my block

nice tie though

Here are a few others:

1. I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.

2. (On the front) 60 IS NOT OLD.
(On the back) IF YOU'RE A TREE.

3. I'M STILL HOT. IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.

4. AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE
PARKING LOT.

5. MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.

6. LIFE IS SHORT. . MAKE FUN OF IT.

7. I'M NOT 50. I'M $49.95 PLUS TAX.

8. ANNAPOLIS--A DRINKING TOWN WITH A SAILOR PROBLEM.

9. I NEED SOMEBODY BAD. ARE YOU BAD?

10. PHYSICALLY PFFFFFT!

11. BUCKLE UP. IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR THE ALIENS TO
SNATCH YOU FROM YOUR CAR.

12. I'M NOT A SNOB. I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU ARE.

13. IT'S MY CAT'S WORLD. I'M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS.

14. EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.

15. KEEP STARING....I MAY DO A TRICK.

16. WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE CAT WAS ALLERGIC.

17. DANGEROUSLY UNDER-MEDICATED.

18. MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING. ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT'S
GONE.

19. EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD "EXERCISE", I WASH MY
MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE.

20. CATS REGARD PEOPLE AS WARM-BLOODED FURNITURE.

21. LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, THE PREACHER WILL NOT
HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL.

Wishing you vibrant health

i like #21 the last one

but WHO can live up to that? LOL

This one --

14. EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.


Reminds me that I read once that we are the joke of the universe. All the other more evolved beings laugh at us.

Maybe because we're only 3 dimensional and so we don't see everything happening at the same time, like other dimensions do, and so our egos make up stories about why everything happens to fit our time sequence. We're always willy-nilly.