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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2008 03:56PM by la_veronique.

my goodness woman, you are such a tease!

well, actually i tried to post something but my computer had some sort of talons going on it preventing me from sending the post ( cuz i was adding to it)

but what i was going to post an article about the idea about how men seem to think that women like jerks who are

1. inattentive
2. critical
3. a player
4. unavailable

i couldn't get the article to post... it was a yahoo post and they are weird

well, i don't like jerks

i like nice guys

i think they have a lot more character

and i sure hope i am not in the minority LOL

The way to get rid of jerks is for all women to boycott them 100% Dont marry jerks.

elnatural

done!

done!

The biggest risk factor for a divorce is getting married, so...

Wishing you vibrant health

pistachio... that is HILARIOUS!! ( not to be insensitive to those who experienced that)

but still..

Hey LaV,

I wish that article could have been posted.

There have been times in my life that i believed that women only liked arrogant jerks. I even thought about acting like one, but quickly decided against it.

When I looked at the issue more deeply i realized that the women who loved these jerks, weren't the women that I would want to be with anyway. They had no self confidence and looked to these arrogant jerks for validation.

I think nice guys fall for confidant women who are completely self validating.

Nice guys only finish last because we would rather take our time finding the sweetest woman.

Obviously I'm taking my sweet time... 41 and still single, yet this life is perfect as it is. When that sweet woman finds me, it will be perfect then too.

Aloha Nui Loa,

Greg

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. - William James

There is no pill that can be swallowed,
There is no guru, that can be followed, - Michael Franti (Pray For Grace)

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. - Albert Camus

le sigh. me too greg my friend. me too.

36, still haven't met mr wonder. i've met a couple of mister fertilities though!

.

Coco and Greg:

You never know where and when that special person will appear from.
Remember a while back a couple met through the forums on this board and are still together. Maybe yours could be lurking around with the right matching chemistry as well.

Wishing you vibrant health

absolutely pistachio, ...it happens, when it happens, because that's when it should happen... not a moment sooner.

Aloha Nui Loa,

Greg

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. - William James

There is no pill that can be swallowed,
There is no guru, that can be followed, - Michael Franti (Pray For Grace)

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. - Albert Camus

"matching chemistry"

Does that mean both composed of green drinks?

elnatural

ha ha.

i'm not in any hurry actually, i just miss smooching. i like smooching.

and i meant mr. wonderful, though mister wonder will do!

Nice attitude Maui.. I agree completely.

hmmmm... here are my observations

I think that the difference between jerks and nice guys is that

Nice Guys:

are NOT doormats
have morals and integrity
are firm in their convictions but willing to concede that they don't know everything
will treat a woman with respect
will treat himself with respect
will treat others with respect
is sincere

may or may not be secure about himself but still makes a high effort to sincerely be respectful

Jerks:

treat others as if they were doormats ( or things to be used)
thinks morality and integrity are aberrrant notions
are rigid in their beliefs and will shoot people down who disagree with them
will treat a woman with disrespect ( and in doing so...
treats himself with disrespect ( therefore....inevitably...
treats others with disrespect
is insincere

thinks that by being a jerk , he will impress women with his offstandishness, unavailability and coldness ( strangely enough, some women fall for it)

are basically extremely insecure and takes it out on others


However, I have observed both traits in the SAME GUY!! So... go figure.

I give up. I'll never figure you guys out . EVER!

please tell me u guys aren't that complicated LOL

LaV,

I feel ya... I think it's the human species that is so complicated. We are all in various stages of learning and unlearning, living through or dealing with, our fears etc.

I could make two very similar lists, but the headings would be 'sweet women' vs. 'mean girls'. ...the overall characteristics seem the same. I think pretty often we can find people who can fit in both lists. Then it's just like dealing with dogs...some are always gentle and kind, some are vicious, and some are only vicious occasionally... those are the ones that you always have to have your guard up around. I would rather not be around a dog like that... so much nicer to feel confidently relaxed in the fact that you won't get bitten.

But yes, it is impossible to figure out. My last girlfriend betrayed my trust and she justified her behavior by saying that I should look at it as a blessing from the universe because the universe was providing me with a valuable lesson that would make me a better person. ...and yes, that is absolutely true that it was a valuable lesson, but I needed to arrive at that understanding as part of my healing process, not to hear it as a lame justification for completely selfish behavior. That one had my mind spinning for several months.

I think the trick is to always remain open to the energy of love, because if we allow our painful experiences with the jerks or mean girls to close us off from love... well that's a tragedy that far surpasses the original hurt.

Aloha Nui Loa,

Greg

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. - William James

There is no pill that can be swallowed,
There is no guru, that can be followed, - Michael Franti (Pray For Grace)

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. - Albert Camus

Not that complicated, I scored a perfect %100.
You are right, just very few like that.
Has to do with brutality training.
sports, war, cars etc.
I have never watched a football game in my life!
Relationships are not a part of the game.

elnatural

maui greg

thoughtful post
thanks

i guess we all try our best
and it takes courage to see the best in others

el natural

u scored 100% ?
hee hee

what a guy !

Relationship has to be first to the point of never anything physical it would still be for life.

Women shouldn't be viewed as inferior in every way.

Women shouldn't be viewed as just slaves.

elnatural

pornagraphy, etc. creates jerks

elnatural

most men seem pretty decent though

case in point:

u guys are not a bad lot LOL