I did SO well the first 2 weeks. This last week I got stress and chose to eat some sugar and I totally spiralled out of control. I know it's all a process, But I really don't want this to happen again. I'm tired of the bingeing that I did for so many years. I really just can't take it emotionally anymore.

sigh.


WendySmiling in Oklahoma
www.16weeks2health.blogspot.com
12/17/10.......240/155/125

Wendy,

The strong desire of not wanting it to happen again will certainly make it necessary for it to happen again. A better place to play is acceptance. Accept the way it is, your current need to respond to stress in this way, and this will open up the way for movement to occur.

it's not like anyone has declared raw food as the saviour; personally, i agree with the overall view of both comments above

do what you feel comfortable doing and what you think is right, not what a board of people thinks is right or the national health board says is right

i mean, i know you know you don't think sugar is great for you, and so what, you ate it and that's over with. find something that you enjoy more then sugar haha I don't know, hey you've been opened to bigger things, and that's good. But don't go declaring it as "right" and don't push towards "goal to be raw" if you feel like you fail, because that's a wide range of things..just think healthy cooked first maybe. try vegan things save some aminals

comfort comfort comfort!

have a good day

hmm well if you only went 1 step back yer still 1 step ahead of where you were so ... you should pat yourself on the back

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Yes. Just as Bryan said. If each individual was coming from an all-knowing place (which each individual isn't...in my opinion)....then we would be well to be disappointed in ourselves. The fact that we DON'T know everything and every way there is to feel makes it an excellent idea to ACCEPT those behaviors we cannot control. Not having a problem with ANY of the things in our lives....just for a short time.....can have a PROFOUND effect on our evolution.

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

I understand this, however I get physically sick if I eat crap like sugar (candy today) or most cooked food. The only thing that has freed me from my gut motility illness is raw fruit. I'm not doing it because I think I "have to", but because the only time I'm not ill is when I eat raw fruit. Before I found this, the only way I felt good was not to eat at all.

I try to be gentle with myself in most respects, but "so what I ate some candy" doesn't apply here because I'm making myself physically ill when I eat it. I can't accept that I need to do this to deal with my stress, because I need to work and live and not be in bed sick from eating something I can't digest.

I know I have to deal with the stress, but I don't really know HOW to deal with it. I know exactly WHY I did it, but that didn't stop me.

This hour is another hour. I don't even have to wait for tomorrow......
:-)

Thanks all.



iLIVE Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> it's not like anyone has declared raw food as the
> saviour; personally, i agree with the overall view
> of both comments above
>
> do what you feel comfortable doing and what you
> think is right, not what a board of people thinks
> is right or the national health board says is
> right
>
> i mean, i know you know you don't think sugar is
> great for you, and so what, you ate it and that's
> over with. find something that you enjoy more
> then sugar haha I don't know, hey you've been
> opened to bigger things, and that's good. But
> don't go declaring it as "right" and don't push
> towards "goal to be raw" if you feel like you
> fail, because that's a wide range of things..just
> think healthy cooked first maybe. try vegan
> things save some aminals
>
> comfort comfort comfort!
>
> have a good day


WendySmiling in Oklahoma
www.16weeks2health.blogspot.com
12/17/10.......240/155/125



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2008 09:14PM by wendysmiling.

and dont forget to pat yourself on the back for what you accomplished ..its not progressive to beat yourself up all time for what you haven;t

I hear you Wendy. I imagine its very frustrating. Well, what we can change.....then we set small goals and pursue them. Thus, we turn our visions into concrete goals that WE set. We stop being 'tortured' by the way things SHOULD be....or how others see us....but are rather 'self-actualized'....by judging whether we achieve those goals we set or not. We refine our goal-setting ability....and achieve happiness. It is the tyranny of OTHERS goals for us....that create stress....and never really the goals we set for ourselves (unless we set them too big for our britches!) LOL.

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

You all are so nice. I feel like such a whiny baby.

I spent 5 years sick and vomiting and terrified of eating for the pain. I'm happy and want raw and feel great. At the same time I think part of my psyche still feels sorry for myself because of what I can't have (even if I no longer want it); because I mourned being forced to give up foods I loved. Having forced anorexia and malnutrition because I could not eat enough.

Having people turn me down for lunch dates because I couldn't eat. People's lack of understanding of the illness. Having to stay home from work because my lower gut would not work no matter what they tried and the food just sat there for a week or more fermenting.

For a time my illness defined who I was.

I started cooked vegan 5 months ago. I was still horribly miserable.

I'm healing now physically and spiritually. I should be celebrating that I can eat whatever I want of fruits and more than just a few tablespoons at a time. I can eat whole fruits at a time...3 fruits at a time! It's an amazing thing to feel great and have ALL of my gut now working without medication....and in such a short time. It's only been 11 days!

Now if I can stop fighting my body... stop eating what will make me sick. I don't know whether one would call it self abuse or just the lingering retaliation mindset of showing my diesease who is boss. I would think I'd learn that I always lose that game after 5 years of plyaing it.

Here's to me, to fruit, to the next step.....

You people have no idea what your support has meant. My life has been changed by finding this forum.

Blessings,


WendySmiling in Oklahoma
www.16weeks2health.blogspot.com
12/17/10.......240/155/125

Hope you are consuming plenty of Omega 3 fatty acids. Vegan version is available in health food stores. This is so necessary for good brain function. Also, if you felt a desire for sugar you can undo any spiralling-out-of-control just by following it up with a goodsized gob of protein food. Basic science: carbos & protein balance each other. Have too much of one, and your smart body says, "Eat the opposite!"

Also, I do not know what you think of supplements but Garden of Life has some new raw nutrients in capsule form! The product is called Vitamin Code, with different formulas for men & women. Just saw them in the h.f.s. today. Nourish the brain, Wendysmiling.

[www.gardenoflifeusa.com]

many many blessings on all the wisdom that is out there... i understand and hear all of you... wendy... you are doing well...and i understand completely what you are going through... i think sometimes we binge to go back because it was a comfort zone thing...like and abused woman that stays with her abusive man... it's a certain comfort... but as everyone else has said here... accpetance is the key... when i start abusing myself on an emotional level... i say a mantra... I love you gynna and i accept you for all that you are" over and over and over and over... and outloud if you can... but even if it's just in your head... turn up the volume so it will be louder than that voice trying to beat you down... say as many positive things you can to yourself... hey it's ok for you to feel good... i like feeling good... i deserve this healthy feeling...i am worth this beautiful and healthy body... i love you so iwill feed you clean food......

on another side of things... if you are craving something SOOOOOOOO badlly... talk to your body... say hey body... something in me needs this right now... so please forgive me... if this is not what you want and let it pass through and then enjoy what it is you are eating... your body will respond... if you tell it it's bad then it says ok it's bad... and will respond accordingly... being stressed out about a healing diet defeats the whole purpose... if your mind is toxic and your food clean...it doesn't matter... you might as well eat fast food... and so... have a peaceful mind when you eat... if you are sitting there angry... and you say i shouldn't eat this...over and over...just sit down and quiet your mind... meditate... eat with love and you recieve love... not stress...

i'm am bingeing too... today i have stepped up... i chose nori...instead of popcorn... i'm proud of myself... and it's a constant battle...

love laugh and dream

Wendy, you write:

> I know I have to deal with the stress, but I don't really know HOW to deal with it. I know exactly WHY I did it, but that didn't stop me.
END QUOTE

A practice can help you deal. A practice that is not related to food or eating, but one that helps with accepting. I have found great relief with meditation, for example. You could check in your area if they teach an MBSR class or something similar (mindfulness based stress reduction, many clinic and universites offer it). It helps with the acceptance bit and with gaining control. One of the things this has helped me with is to view myself in terms of tendencies instead of checking over each meal whether I was 'good' or 'bad', It really helps to see the bigger picture.

t!

You are not whining, Wendy, you are working your booties off for yourself! Glad you are reaching out, I can relate to a lot in your posts!