after a 12 day fast, then 3 weeks of really clean raw food, i had been feeling great- until today.....

today i thought it would be a good idea to "throw a bone to my shadow" and eat half a bagel and a few miscellaneous bites of junk food at work. then a few hours later, clearly feeling the spaced out tired feeling from the wheat that i knew would happen, i decided to have some bread and butter (right after my wonderful raw dinner salad). "what the heck," i thought, "i already ate wheat this morning, a little more wouldn't hurt...."

WRONG...just that little bit of unhealthy food has completely zapped my energy. i am super tired, irritable, bloated, spaced out, and so disappointed that i've lost my feeling of vitality and clarity and health. all because i wanted to have some foods i thought i was really missing.

and now i am wondering what in the heck i thought i was missing?! feeling like crap??! that's about all i ever get from eating that stuff- feeling awful... i am really trying to not make it even worse by doing all of the self-bashing i've done before. that's a definite trap. then i'll just spiral into a really destuctive cycle of poor food choices, coffee to get me going, a glass of wine to settle me down, and then some heavy food to settle my stomach. and after a few months of that, a fast to clean it all out.

so i'm back to looking for balance. this time i'm going to notice how quickly the taste segment passes when i give into a craving, and how long i suffer the consequences once the food is swallowed. why have i thought that a few minutes of pleasure was a good trade-off for days, weeks, even months of feeling so much less than my potential?

tomorrow is another day. this spaced out feeling will pass, along with the bloat and fatigue and disappointment in myself. tomorrow i can make new choices, and hopefully better ones.

thanks for listening to my rambling. i feel better just writing this and knowing you're all out there.

aww marsh you don't have to feel all that dissapointed in your self. You have worked hard and learned from the hard work right? All that time you have taken to fast and eat good and improve your health is not a waste just because of a bagle even ten bagels won't change what you are discovering from makeing the changes. Its just that we have been taught all our lives to eat a certain way and this milk or bread or even meat is the best and healthy thing for our growing bodies. For some of us hard heads it takes a few bagels to get that light bulb effect happen and we finally put two and two together on what is the best food for our beautiful bodies right?
Just three weeks ago I was writhing in pain from a piece of pizza and now I think I finally understand the pizza is not healthy for my body. I don't want it any longer even though my family eats it and I have to cook it and smell it I don't want it.
You will get there, Just keep on doing what you are doing.
crack open that green smoothie or carrot juice tomorrow morning and have a good day.

I think most raw fooders have slipped at some time in their transition. Focus on what you can learn from the experience to help you avoid slipping again. For a raw foodist eating cooked food has a lot in common with an alcoholic who has a sip of booze and then goes on a bender. Long standing addictions are hard to get free from. You need to learn how to avoid the first bite of cooked and the rest will take care of itself. One thing I have learned is to watch out for a strong craving to return in the next day or two after a slip. The cooked monster is going to try to get you back to eating junk. Keep your guard up for a couple of days. Persevere.

Success is not final,failure is not fatal : Its the courage to continue that counts.

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Courage is not defined by those who fought and did not fall, but by those who fought, fell and rose again.

i feel so much better this morning. thank you all for taking the time to write. really, everybody's comments helped so much. i think one of the biggest hurdles for me is psychological. i feel so nostalgic about all these foods i think i'm missing. but giving in to them, pops that bubble and i can see it's all just an illusion. even knowing this, and knowing how awful they make me feel, it's hard to resist the temptation sometimes. i think in the 12 step literature somewhere they define insanity as continuing to do the same destructive behavior and expecting a different result. ha! yea, i can relate to that.

thanks, you guys. i'm off to make my clean, green smoothie.

I found this article by a well known entrepreneur once. I've never heard anyone say that they would have consumed more fruit and veg as a 'regret' from an older perspective but these were his words....



If I could live my life all over again…


I would have worked harder earlier on my number one asset---my health. I would have consumed a better diet with more fresh vegetables, fruits and grains. I would have exercised more.

I would laugh more by looking for the humorous side to nearly every situation.

If I had my life to live over again I would cry more, both in happiness and in sadness. It takes great strength to reveal your vulnerabilities---and I used to think tears were a sign of weakness. I’ve also learned you can’t write if you can’t cry.

I would take more risks, as I’ve realised I regret far more what I have’nt done in my life than what I have done.

I would have taken the time to really enjoy the simple things of life more, for they provide the most beauty---such as hugging a newborn baby, smelling flowers, watching a sunrise, or walking in a gentle rain.

If I had my life to live over again I would not have retired, even for the 3 months it lasted. Now I know what a mistake it is to ever stop working, as I treasure my career. Plus, my life would probably be shortened by up to 19 years due to retirement, according to the statistics.

I would have taken more risks than I’ve taken, for only a risk taker is alive and truly free. For example, I would have produced heroic, romantic movies, completed a novel and started doing the work I love best, seminars, much earlier.

I would have challenged conventional wisdom and education much sooner. My teachers, parents and friends meant no harm, for they taught me what they knew and believed. But, alas, they were wrong.

If I could live my life over again I would have read more books and attended more seminars by the masters of their subjects.

I would have given up anger and grudges sooner against those who have hurt me.

If I could live my life over again I would live in the process of life rather than spend many years focusing only on outcomes.

I would have been conscious sooner that I alone am totally responsible for creating my emotional state—and that every feeling arises from the meaning I give things. And with this secret I have the capacity to be happy living in a small room just as well as in a mansion or penthouse. My life could be filled with meaning even if I were confined in a concentration camp or prison.

I would have learned the greatest secret of being alive is not found in regrets of the past, nor worries about the future, which 95% of the time never happen. Or even living in today. The only way I can fully live is to live solely in the moment. This moment is all I, you, anyone, ever really has.

If I could live my life over again I would be more giving without expectations. Life has taught me there is no wasted energy in the universe. He who gives most and who serves his fellow human best always prospers.

I would say thank you more often. For example, right now i’d like to say thank you once more , wherever you are , to my late father-in-law Andrew Young, who loaned me $5,000 when I started in business at age 21 when no one else would, just because he believed in me.

If I could live my life over again I would never say if I could live my life over again. As long as I’m alive, I’ve realised it’s a mistake to live in the “might have beens”, Its never too late to really start living. Even if I were 87, I plan to take each and every action I’ve so longed to take.

The time is now, this instant.

Won’t you join me on this marvellous and exciting journey? There is plenty of room!

Ted Nicholas

oh how nice...

thanks for taking the time to post all of that!

Don't feel bad, life is too short.

JS

JERICHO SUNFIRE-BASIC TRAINING
www.jerichosunfire.com

If I could live my life over again I would try to acquire fewer bad habits.

EZ rider Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If I could live my life over again I would try to
> acquire fewer bad habits.

WOW! I sure would do the same thing! Maybe we'll get another chance to start over someday (or maybe not). But if so, hopefully something we've learned this time around will seep through.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2009 11:34PM by suncloud.

don't be too hard on yourself. I agree with other posts here : all raw fooders have slipped along the way. Just keep trying. Like the wise says "Do, do and one day , it will be done".

Cynthia

ps " happy that you fell better now

i haven't met a person yet that has not experienced similiar disconfort physically, emotionally and yes spiritually...............this is a complete lifestyle and many changes will occur..................ive fond out things about ourselves through this live food journey that blow me away..............be kind and gentle with yourself................I just make a decision with my next meal to resume to 100% if that's how im led...............llllaie