I posted a while back asking advice about dating a guy who was very different to me...there were mixed responses....anyway, things have not worked out that well with him. We were just too different and I felt like he really didn't understand me and was not willing to learn. Not to say that all SAD eaters are like that at all but I think from now on if I date someone else they are going to have to have many similar interests to me and at least be willing to understand and be interested in my way of life. My last boyfriend was very interested in my lifestyle and was always asking for diet tips and stuff like that, always asking questions...usually in a very humourous, playful way but this new guy wasn't really like that at all.

In fact one time while he was eating a chicken sandwich in front of me he said "Mmmm. I love eating animals." He must have thought it was a funny joke. Anyway...i didnt get angry or anything at him i just understand that is where he is at. I do not judge him for not being vegetarian but I think he could have had more respect for my beliefs.

I think all this has made me realize that if I do get into a serious relationship in the future, the person is going to have to be someone that is into this way of life too. Even if they are not raw, at least someone who understands the social, economic, health and environmental benefits of being a vegetarian...or is at least very willing to learn.

It was not only the food issue, I think the food was just superficial mark of our differences. I have found that vegetarians, or people who want to understand it generally have a better understanding of environmental issues and tend to be more spiritual, compassionate people. I know that is a generalization but from what i have seen I think it is a fair statement.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/06/2006 08:12PM by Tashi.

I hear you. I'm sorry if things did not work out. Perhaps I am over-simplifying. But to me, it simply boils down to whether each person (in a relationship) is fully supporting the other. I suppose (I know this is the case with me) that it is very easy to support some one when they are acting the way you think they should act, and not very easy to support them when you don't agree! Ha! ha!

-I think that a person dis-respecting you by saying, "MMMM. I love eating animals" is NOT a male/female thing....but just an insensitive individual. You'll get your share of those from healthy and non-healthy eaters both! LOL.

-You have every right to want to be around people that are doing the right thing.......as long as you keep in mind that it is probably the people who are doing the WRONG thing that can most benefit from your presence. Don't go too far to deny them that pleasure! For sure.

-David Mason

Hi,

I see the "MMMM. I love eating animals" some where between defending their diet, with hints of insecurity and some baiting. I think one of the reasons people get defensive about there eating is that they feel their diet has been attacked. I've seen so many vegans railing on meat eaters for eating meat that it doesn't really supprise my to hear comments like that or worse. There is also some baiting in there, saying it to get a response from you (do you pretty when you're angry?). Then there is the insecurity side, I get the feeling most insensitive comments are made because the person saying them is insecure with either the topic or something about themself. At least that's my take on it.

My come back for comments like that is to tell the person they should kill the animal themself. Keep what you kill. Then I explain to the them how game meat is far healthier (and tastier) for them and the environment.

As for dating, I can't believe number of girls I'm randomly meeting that either have an interested in eating raw or have already incorperated raw food in their diets. (YAY!) So I'm sure you'll meet people who don't have hang ups over a persons diet or have an interest in your diet.

Cheers,
Ian.

I've made all my changes in diet (and beliefs) since my husband and I married. It hasn't been easy for us. He is still a sad eater. I don't expect him to change - though I would so dearly love it if he would. I would definately recommend that if you have the choice - it would be a great thing to find someone who shares your beliefs about food, health, animals, etc.

The reason I say this - is that health, food, meals, holidays, etc. is no small issue. My husband really misses going out to dinner with me. He wishes I still did the Thanksgiving thing, the christmas meal, Easter Eggs, etc. I wish that he was more enlightened, compassionate, less addicted, etc. When his health fails, I'm going to feel resentment toward him because he CHOSE to do things that contributed to his poor health. He feels my frustration. It's an issue that comes between us.

We still see eye to eye on many other things, have respect for each other, treat each other with respect, compassion, tolerance, etc. Our marriage isn't going to come apart over this - but oh how wonderful if we shared meals, love of animals, sprouting, uncooking, reading, and growing in the same direction!!!! So - my vote - look for a raw vegan or at least a vegan or at least a veg. Kinda narrows the field, and yet it's a in a good way!!!!

Life Is Good!

alive!

I only talk to nice people and that seems to solve all of my problems. I guess I'm lucky to know a lot of really pretty nice girls that think that's cool. I have no experience but I can see where your frustration lies.

Yeah, thanks for the feedback. I guess it is a tricky situation b/c you can't really plan who you have chemistry with!

Hey Tash,

This is a really complex issue and worthy of scrutiny. Sometimes I think that people just end up dating themselves. I mean, it LOOKS like the person they are dating is someone outside of themselves, but in the end, they are just mirrors of who we are.
Well, this probably doesn't help. It didn't help me one bit either. These platitudes are good for something but it boggles me to know how to practice them perfectly as well. good luck
that's about all i can say.