i'm getting so f*** frustrated with people. i tell them 100's of times I'm trying to eat only raw, uncooked, foods and still they offer me stuff that's cooked vegetarian. I live in a complex where everyone is heavy meat eaters and it always smells like barbecue or whatever else.
"Oh but we made coleslaw" (with mayo in it) or "there's some veggies we grilled up"...... Is it that difficult for people to understand? I mean how do you guys deal with this. I'm really starting to get fed up with them all....sometimes i think they are purposely tryin to rub the SAD diet in my face. i wish people could be more supportive.....but on a happier note. there is a natural foods store that sometimes has raw food dishes made up in their deli cooler to go. and there's a raw foods place that serves dishes to go here that i found! so i'm gonna check that out today..





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2009 10:47PM by iamwhatiam.

I'm sorry for all your frustrations. We've all been there and continue to be there. Our lifestyle choice is SOOOO "odd" in comparison to general society that it's going to be very difficult for our SAD eating friends to even REMOTELY comprehend the definition. It does sound like some of your friends are making an uneducated effort. Keep in mind that they truly do not understand, but they are trying (even though they privately think you are totally nuts. *LOL*). It's like folks who think vegetarians eat fish. People simply do not understand or comprehend.

You might as well get used to it. Or, as my Mom would say - "Poo or get off the pot." (Sorry, that's my Christian version of it.) The ignorance of others comes with the territory, especially with a lifestyle this "extreme" in comparison to modern society. It will take alot of time and patience and repetition to gently educate your friends and associates. Some will get it and be your greatest supporters, even though they may never adopt the same choices. Others will simply tease and roll their eyes and love you anyway. Others will simply walk away in disgust without making any effort to at least LEARN about your lifestyle. That's life, unfortunately, and you have to make choices based on your convictions, not upon the opinions of others. Remember that people will not be impressed by your information or your choices, but by the health and vitality and tremendous health results you will demonstrate to them BECAUSE of your choices.

Be strong and hang in there and come to us to vent. You're not alone and you WILL prevail.

*****************************
"Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty."
—Thomas Jefferson

Nicely said. I think people just don't get it. It's very different from the way they eat and they probably can't imagine eating only "raw" foods, therefore they just don't understand how people can live on it. It's a long journey and one we just kind of have to get used to. It can be very difficult. You seem to be doing a good job, just keep the peace and living by good example

People don't 'get it'....heh...heh. I generally make a statement like "I just fresh fruit" when I'm going to be eating with folks. Then I either bring my own or just don't eat. I certainly don't discuss it otherwise. I find that if I don't make it an issue....other people don't either....heh..heh.

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

Yeah, it's so F frustrating, I don't even want to revisit this thread.

Stephanie

I've only been raw for about a week now, but I still haven't told most of my friends. The only people that know are my boyfriend, my immediate family, and my best friend. I'm already sick of explaining it to people. The only person that hasn't made an annoying comment about it is my boyfriend. Everyone else has either been somewhat rude or totally ignorant.
Really, it's not a difficult concept!
I feel your pain.

I find that, regardless of intelligence level, culinary knowledge, whatever, SOME people do understand right away. 'Ah, so everything must be raw. So, for instance, if I made x for you, that would contain x wouldn't it, so you couldn't have that?'

Others, equally intelligent (or it would seem), it's like everything you say to them goes 'in one ear and out the other'.

I think there are a lot of psychological factors working. They really 'don't want to hear'/tunnel vision/preoccupation with themselves?

For example, I have a friend/acquaintance who, every time I see her (every few months?) she moans about how she really doesn't eat very much but can't lose weight, has had dreadful menopausal symptoms etc. I've made her aware of my 100% raw vegan diet and have discussed possible diet/lifestyle factors that could be making her feel low, and she's listened dutifully (or has appeared to).

But last time I saw her (and this is typical) someone was handing round (cooked) chocolate cake. I refused it, and she said 'no chocolate cake?' And she wasn't joking.

As David said, 'fruit' is easiest to get through to people who just will not listen. Just say 'I'll be OK - I'll just bring some fruit with me!'

Echo the above post but on the positive side you have a natural food store and a raw foods place near by - wow that is light years beyond anything I have around me. Keep smiling

If you really must go around these people, just make sure you eat first. saves having to talk about it. if you share your raw food, it will invite comment. the choice is yours

Reminds me of a comment about my raw food diet that was made not just once, but again several months later, by a friend of mine who doesn't quite get the concept. She praised me for eating raw, and then added (on both occasions): "I just knew there was a good reason I always want to eat the cake batter raw before I make a cake. It just makes sense!" (Groan.) On the positive side, everybody I know seems to have a pretty good idea what the raw diet is, and most of them don't think it's a bad idea at all. They just don't have any desire to do it. So I just don't talk much about it.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

just bring your own food and decline gracefully. no sense getting yer knickers all in a knot, somepeople will just never understand

looking back i was probably just as annoying to my omnivore friends about my enthusiasm for raw foods as they are too me about their enthusiasm for cooked so ...lol it goes both ways

just try to be the better person

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

I work with people who think healthy is eating three instead of six donuts for breakfast. And a healthy lunch is a cheeseburger instead of a bacon double cheeseburger. Every few weeks someone says, incredulously, "Do you just not eat _________."

Fill in the blank with:

donuts
candy
sandwiches (out of the vending machine)
potato chips
chocolate
cheez doodles

Etc.

Some people are just never going to "get" it. I feel very fortunate to have found this way of life. I have to have compassion for people who are clueless and still eating garbage.

Hi frustrated,

First of all, u look wonderful. Vegetarianism works 4 u and it works 4 me too (raw or cooked). I'm loving the lifestyle and 1 think that what we vegetarians must do is ALWAYS keep our cool and be patient with other people. These issues come with the territory of being such a better than average healthy eater. Don't let the others frustrate u. We must show them that vegetarianism #1) helps keep us healthy #2) helps keep us in shape, #3) helps keep us energetic, #4) helps keep us alert, #5) helps keep us spiritual, #6) helps keep us very strong and determined, #7) helps keep us disease free and much, much more than I can say... Somehow we become healthier eating teachers (smile). There are those who need 2 know how 2 eat much better and u r a big example 4 them 2 follow. Turn their ignorance n2 something informative 4 them. When people put undesired food n my face, I simply tell them "I don't care 4 that... save it 4 yourself" and then I'll attempt 2 change the subject as though eating, period, is not that important 2 me. In fact, I can be full or just have no appetite, thank u, then I'll commence 2 entertain them or enjoy being with them. There r many ways 2 shrugg off their offenses. So b happy that u look like a good catch 4 someone!

Yep, there are people who don't listen (or don't want to listen) to what raw food is about. It seems somewhat narrow-minded and self-centered to not even listen, but it's their choice. Fine, I can accept that. I just have to be a broken record, saying, "No, thanks," or "Is there a piece of fruit?"

My aggravation is people who are overtly critical and try to humiliate with sarcastic humor. What's up with that!?! Are they that insecure or threatened? Actually, it was one person who was very critical of my diet (and of all vegetarians) in front of other people I hardly knew. I didn't bring it up; he did. I hate confrontational conversations. I barely spoke. After that experience I got pretty good at avoiding him in town, and then I got lucky... he moved far away. Yay!


My favorite raw vegan

ive had the flu for 2 days now and i cant tell you how many people have offered chicken soup or asked me if i had chicken soup lol

its like they have entirely forgot i dont eat chickens

ive just been declining gracefully telling them im fully stocked up

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

This is a great post! Im at a job training school and we are all cooks, im the only vegan and they all seem to accept it but do not realize that I dont like all their indepth discussins on 'choice meats' and 'bacon'... It gets soooo old. I wouldnt talk about being a non-believer if I knew a cristian was right there. Its commen sence and rude, but its part of the game of life; stupid people But this is a great thread and I can now get a good chuckle with regards to my class mates!

nomnomnomnom...!

I totally understand your frustrations!

And, there was so many things in this thread that just made me LAUGH. =) I laugh because I have been there.

People will be people will be people. If you can find a durian, or something equally interesting, bring THAT to your next BBQ and be the entertainer.

There is a point, I think, where one is raw for long enough, when other people's opinions just don't matter. Peace comes, because the lifestyle itself is so gratifying on every possible level, the natural bliss factor eventually overshadows silly or uneducated remarks that may have once ruffled your feathers. When you have made a long term committment to being happy and doing the best for yourself... and you experience new levels of happiness, tranquility, clarity, and health because of those decisions... there is no argument! You have become the truth.

And when the state of being shifts over time, I think people sense the kind of confidence living something with tangible results really has, and there's nothing that makes them want to challenge it.

Taking flack from other people... it's just earning the stripes. It's a universal test of patience, faith, and compassion.

I was actually working at a steakhouse when I first went raw. Imagine that. Bringing some extra weird fruit for everyone to try, when everyone gawked at my food every day, seemed to be the best way to tear down social barriers. Keyword = sharing.

The hardest part, IMO, is dealing with older relatives, who mean well, but really DON'T get it, and go way out of the way to make you something. "Well... I baked the cookies without eggs!" (sigh) That is the only situation that ever makes me a little sad to decline, because the most sincere love always goes into the food.

I must say, though, I can't remember the last time someone has offered me cooked food, so I think the combination of repetition AND, most importantly, being familiar with pro-actively fending for yourself, stops most of those situations from happening in the first place.

Hear ya.
This happened last weekend and actually provided me with a great line to use for future:
Me plus friends were on a trip.
Friend A (hotel roomie) says to me in Mexican restaurant: Today is the day where you should be open to some new food choices!

Friend B (who once was around me after I had eaten a vegan salad with dressing adn gotten SEVERE reactions from it): Trust me, you don't want to be around her after she does that.

HA! THat was that instantly! Nice thing was, I dint even have to say anything.

But for the future I have this line - Trust me, you don't want to be around me, after I have eaten that. Quite direct, but what the heck

morgenjune, I have to politely disagree with you there. Just because you don't eat meat shouldn't mean other people aren't allowed to TALK about meat in front of you. Religion is very different from food preferences--even if your food preferences stem from your religion (or from socio-political standpoints, etc--you get what I mean). No one is obligated to try to make you feel more comfortable about the food choices you've made. For example--I hate golf, but if I were around 10 people who love golf I wouldn't be offended that they were talking about it. Sure, it might be boring, but offensive? No. I kind of have to realize that I'm the minority and that conversations can't be catered to me.

Similarly, would you be offended if someone ate meat in front of you? I should hope not. I was vegan for several years before deciding to go raw, and it always astounded me that my well-meaning friends would often ask, "Do you mind if I eat meat in front of you?" To not allow people to eat meat--or even TALK about it--in my presence is, in my opinion, very selfish. ESPECIALLY if said people were chefs at a cooking school!

I get this from my in-laws all the time. They did it when I was just veggie as well and try to lay guilt treatments because I wont eat anything they make.

polkasdot,

I'm with you here. I think it's important to require sensitivity of others in regard to one's diet; no one should feel they can force meat or meat "propaganda" on you with impunity. BUT the raw foodist must also be sensitive to the fact that others aren't raw and their choices in food generally aren't designed to offend/sicken us--they're just food choices. We shouldn't take that personally. Nothing is more wince-inducing to me than when a dear friend who's a meat eater asks if I mind their eating meat in front of me. I hope I never make them feel as though I'm such a tender plant that the very mention of "steak" makes me despise them.

iamwhatiam,

Why not try practicing saying, cheerfully but firmly, "Thanks, but I don't eat things that are cooked." [smile] It's indisputable and says everything.