Is it possible? I'm kind of nervous about it...
Anyone have tips on making it work?

Yeah, if you love and respect someone, it's not an issue. Respect is key. Towards each other.

I'm married, but my husband isn't raw. Maybe how we manage will give you some ideas.

I have always been the cook in our relationship and my husband has been the appreciative eater. When I went raw eight months ago, I continued to cook lunch and dinner for him. Most days he makes his own breakfast. At different times I would offer a sample of whatever raw thing I made for myself if I thought he might like it. At night I'd put one or two salads along with his main course. That went fine for a few months. I was glad that he was accepting and supportive of my change of diet. He was glad that I didn't pressure him to change his.

Then one day he requested to have a big salad for dinner - the same as I was having. That was his idea. I never suggested it. Then he asked for it every night. As it is now, I still make a cooked lunch for him. We just eat different things for lunch and breakfast.

I guess what I'm saying is that unconditional caring is a big part of our relationship. I don't try to change him and he doesn't try to change me. We both trust that the other is doing the best he/she can.


My favorite raw vegan

honestykindnesslove,

I think your nervousness propagates through the words you type.

I'm guessing you are asking about how to 'break' the ice with someone you're interested in dating that you eat raw foods? Like getting to the relationship part is the hard part?

I'm in a similar situation. I like to call myself 'selfish' because I want to treat my own body the way I want to treat it. The thought of opening myself up and being vulnerable to another individual and expressing my 'life journey' through health and wellness can be overwhelming and frightening!!

Will they accept me or reject me? If love and relationships are not hard enough, how can someone fully accept me and my raw life?

Good question. I tell myself that if I let it bother me, then, it will obviously bother my future partner. I think the key is to relax and not let your lifestyle be the focus of whether you like someone or not.

Ultimately, you decide if you want to be with John Doe. John Doe will decide if he likes you back. The best you can do is work on representing yourself with 100% transparency and give John Doe an opportunity to see you for who you truly are! No need to allow a raw food diet be the elephant in the room.

Then, everything will fall into place, I promise.

I think your forum name says it all.

Honesty,
kindness.
and finally you'll reach
Love.

Hope this helps!

ooh, once again, I have to give you a linkie to my pal's book, it's all about this kind of stuff

[www.merawyoucooked.com]

RESPECT.

I would never tell a partner what to put in her mouth.
Its none of my business.

Vinny

thank you everyone. all great advice coming from a place of experience and thoughtfulness. i appreciate it!

hey newhoove

i'm kind of confused

u say that rawfood can be the elephant in the living room?

how so?

also why would someone reject another person they love because they are on raw foods? that makes no sense

people who eat raw

1. look better
2. feel better
3. smell better

if anything, the person who eats cooked is in jeopardy of being rejected
and cooked food is the elephant in the living room

at any rate

besides all that

i do agree with everyone here that respect is key

i mean... it really is none of anyone's business what they eat

do your thing and be successful at being healthy vibrant happy and filled with zest

and the other person will just feel like " Geeez.. i wanna be like THAT!

and inevitably they will come around

perhaps slowly

but surely

in my own experience, once I completely accepted myself as being comfortable and confident on the raw foods diet - then everyone else in my life also did.

Before that happened I had some interesting transitional experiences.. and a very traumatic break-up.

which turned out to be the best thing to happen to me

now everyone around me is completely fine with it. My current boyfriend ate a terrible, terrible diet when he first met me. but he straight away was open-minded about raw foods... if a little perplexed Now he's really into smoothies and stuff he's lost a lot of weight and feels great for it.

Also, it's MUCH easier for 'new' people in your life to accept you as a raw foodist than people who have known you before your transition. It's like they don't get as threatened by it. Plus, you can 're-invent' yourself with the new people in your life



Free Newsletter: [bit.ly]
Facebook: [www.facebook.com]
Instagram: [www.instagram.com]
Blog: [RawFoodScotland.co.uk]

la_veronique Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> u say that rawfood can be the elephant in the
> living room?
>
> how so?


My idiomatic expression may have not captured the essence of what I was trying to say. When someone wants to enter a relationship with another person, there is always a fear of rejection. Sometimes people fear that others won't accept them for the choices they made (e.g. religion, taste in music, or whatever) I think rawfoods is a choice. Since rawfoods impacts your life to such a degree, it can't be avoided. I think that is the first thing someone wants to get off their chest initially in the relationship. In no way, did I intend to insult a raw foods lifestyle.




> also why would someone reject another person they
> love because they are on raw foods? that makes no
> sense

Easily, if someone pursued you who ate a SAD diet and wanted to be with you. How would you react? If you loved the person, Would you try to lead him to the raw lifestyle? By trying to change someone, is essentially rejecting their current state. Makes perfect sense to me. People can be rejected for the most non-sensical things.






> people who eat raw
>
> 1. look better
> 2. feel better
> 3. smell better
>
> if anything, the person who eats cooked is in
> jeopardy of being rejected
> and cooked food is the elephant in the living
> room
>
> at any rate


Those are pretty strong statements that seem uncharacteristic of you.

I get what la_veronique is saying, but I also disagree with her : )

Someone can very naturally reject a rawist they are otherwise emotionally tied to on the grounds of diet, because it's not about diet, it's about the rawist becoming "the Other," an unfamiliar province that could be scary. You know, "I thought I knew this and this about you, but now I'm unsure . . ."

We instinctively wish to defend ourselves from the unknown. It doesn't make sense, I guess, but it's perfectly understandable just the same.

"Always a fear of rejection"? Uhm, NO! Sweeping generalizations are NEVER good.

okay, people are picking on me. hah

Yah, always fear rejection. I'm gonna hold my ground and stick with my sweeping generalization.

If you want to talk about sweeping generalizations, ask about all raw foodists feeling, smelling, and looking better than others who are not.

You never approached the opposite (or same sex for that matter) sex wanting to get into a relationship with them and worry about getting rejected? Come on!!

I'm just gonna say less and less so people have less to 'quote' from my posts.

It's not picking on you. LOL It's saying that what you're saying isn't true. If you make a statement that includes other people's mindsets or thoughts, I would hardly expect that no one will come in and say otherwise. So maybe if you don't want someone to disagree, you can put what you think and not claim what others think or do or say.

Yes, I have no fear or rejection from either sex.

newhoove,

Please don't feel you must be cagey in your responses lest someone misinterpret what you mean; clearly you are making a generalization and it addresses what concerns the OP : )

Its all in good fun...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/20/2010 04:05AM by newhoove.

newhoove states:


<<Those are pretty strong statements that seem uncharacteristic of you.>>


yes...i agree

haha

hi there

I can totally relate to the raw-cooked relationship. I am raw and my husband is cooked. When I first went raw and a lot began to change things started to go wrong in our relationship, to the extent that we ended up splitting up. This was mostly because of the challenges that a raw-cooked relationship poses, things like eating together, eating the same foods, fighting over fridge space lol!

I talk about what happened in our relationship and how to overcome major pitfalls in my book me raw: you cooked and I also do raw agony aunt on the uk raw food network.

The truth is that it will take a period of adjustment, transition if you will and the most important thing to ensure is communication!

Em