with the exception of just one post, i think it was juicerkatz, it seemed like in all the years i have been here, it has been women posting about how they are raw and their husband/boyfriend is not raw

and how the women go out of their way to try to

1. not be judgemental
2. leave books or articles around to "coax" them into learning about it
3. cooking separate foods for them and then for themselves
4. having to deal with trying to appear kind, non judgemental etc.

seems like a whole heck of a lot of work
then i thought to myself
what the heck do MEN do?

like i said, i only read ONE post in all my years here where it talks of
the raw non raw relationship and what the person actually EXPERIENCES

i was wondering what the MEN do
and if they also tiptoe
coax
cajole
try not to appear judgemental
hide little articles and books around
quail at the onus of having to be "different" etc.

seems like we women operate on a different radio wavelength which is
" to please, be nice about it, don't ruffle the man's feathers"

do GUYS think like this?

something about me says " I HIGHLY doubt it"

or maybe i'm wrong

i don't know

just curious

do MEN also go in the kitchen

and cook separate meals

one for themselves ( raw ) and one for the others " healthy" cooked

and then feel conflicted about it?

i never heard it

and i'm wondering if it is cuz its mostly women who cook

or what

but never heard it

and i've been on this board for a while now

la_veronique ,

lol, are you "calling me out" ?!?

I hear what you are saying, and I can't answer for all men, but for me...

I do try to be nice about it, and not to ruffle the feathers of my family members. But, as we all know, we move through different stages in the relationship, and over the last few years I have tried all the things you mentioned;


1. not be judgemental
2. leave books or articles around to "coax" them into learning about it
3. cooking separate foods for them and then for themselves
4. having to deal with trying to appear kind, non judgemental etc.

I know I mentioned a lot of that in the thread that I posted about it.

Why do I do these things? >>> Because I care <<<

I see other family members stuffing themselves with unhealthy food items, and it is actually hurtful. In a relationship, I view it as "we" & not just "me", so in actuality I feel I do have a say in the other persons' actions.

Ultimately, what they put into their body will have an affect on me as well. (Social, medical & otherwise)

As far as kids go, we all know the saying "while you're under my roof you will behave as such..." well, that holds true in my home as well. My kids are not permitted to bring junk food or drink in to the house to eat, although I obviously can't control what they are doing while not at home.

My case is a bit different that the typical raw/non raw debate, however. It is more of a "I know all that stuff/heard it all before but I don't care, I likes my comfort foods, etc...."

I don't feel that I have come across unreasonable about it, but I will say that in my case...

there has been some "interference", shall we say, from other family members who like to get involved where they have no right to, and try to coerce/influence/meddle/ generally just cause trouble for no other reason than they like to see something brewing.

It have been this way for many years, will most likely not stop unless one of the families move to a state far away.


Now to give credit where do; If I make juices/smoothies & prepare raw dishes for the others, they will generally drink/eat them without a lot of fuss. I guess that tells me they are too lazy :-0 to do it for themselves...
Sorry, I guess that was mean of me...

Hope I understood your post correctly & answered appropriately. I sometimes have a knack for reading something into a post that may not be there...

I haven't been in a lot of long-term relationships - but I am sure that men and women are a little different in their approach. If it was me? I do make sure that I am happy - and then I support others as best I can. I personally draw the line at PURCHASING animal products....whenever possible. Beyond that, I have no problem cooking or preparing food for a loved-one....although in most cases I don't follow their eating regime.

I think women are, perhaps, more aware of self-improvement and appearance than men are......and perhaps more overtly supportive as well.

I'm sure there are plenty of raw guys out there who are supportive and sensitive to the non-raw girlfriends & wives! Heh..heh.

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

You're assuming that we're all in heterosexual relationships....

well im a male and in the a boat where i have many dietary issues and at home past partners have been accepting, supporting in most cases but the problem becomes when they want to go out for a meal, you end up not able too, same goes for anything else you go on holiday and you generally eat out often and cant eat again, go out shopping to the next town for a day out, well you get the jist.

ends up putting quite a strain on the relationship.

My husband was the one who encouraged the raw diet. When I became vegetarian, he did not like it all - not my choice, but the fact that I did not want meat in the house, I did not want to support the meat industry in any way, shape or form. This put a huge strain on our marriage. He believed that one could be vegetarian and still have a very unhealthy diet and he was right. He started to do research beginning with The China Study. This was awesome! He went from not liking my vegetarianism to wanting us to both become raw vegans. I loved that he did his own research and came around. We both began researching the topic and we ended up doing this together. I do believe though, that things are not as "good" as they seem with the women trying hard to be nice and such with their spouses. Let's face it, we are not always nice (either sex) and when it comes to something as important to us as being vegetarian or vegan and eating healthy, things can get heated. Change is never easy. I know that we all try hard to make it work, but it is a "hot button" issue. It can cause tension in even the best relationships, but if the spouses/partners/family members are willing to work things out and try to understand and respect each other's choices it can develop into something very positive for everyone. I like the idea of "planting seeds". I can't believe how many people in my life have now made positive changes to their own diets because of the little seeds that I planted. Sometimes it's a matter of leading by example, being happy with our own choices, and not making everyone around us annoyed because of those choices (or from our enthusiastic speaches about the lifestyle. Lets face it, no one likes to be told what to do or to be lectured about their poor choices. Come on, we've all done it, I'm guilty, too. Time helps - as it does with all things.

hi juicerkatz

its good to hear your side
not sure what you were "reading into"
except that i was wondering if there were more men out there like you who are as considerate as the women folks and i guess there are

DMZ

seems like lots of people ( including myself) could learn a great deal from you
reading your posts over the years
it always seems like you take responsibility for yourself
and let others simply be who they are


hey powerlifter

well.... its kind of become a running joke for me
i just order salad
but the thing is that when i eat out
its for the company
definetley not for the food
and seems to work out


leannesusan

that's cool that your husband started doing gobs of research
and you two were able to do it together


Utopian life

okay

Every relationship I have been in,I was the one who was raw,and she wasnt.
It never caused any friction.
I guess I am the exception.

Vinny

Duh! LOL--of course! We are women so we are supposed to be in the kitchen!

Now obviously I am joking but I think it's common (at least in my case) to do the majority of the cooking. Rarely in all the years we have been together has my partner cooked for me. But what I do like is that I control what is in our frige, since I do the shopping. If my guy was to take charge, we would butt heads. I think women (in general, not 100%) should rule the roost. Too many cooks spoil the brew. I don't see a problem with it as long as the man is not demeaning or demanding. My ego gets a twinge now and then when he asks me to make something for him, but I am not working now so I have to contribute in my own way.

I'm in a nice relationship -- I'm a (mostly) raw vegan and she is a vegetarian. It doesn't cause us any problems -- we both eat how we like. But we're both pretty chill and relaxed and neither of us think of diet as a strict religion to follow or be damned, as so many raw vegans and paleo people do. Frankly, many of the raw vegans I know are rather annoying, so we keep to ourselves.