I really need input & help figuring out what to eat. I would like to go raw for the health benefits. However, I am on a very tight food budget set by the spouse. He does not care what he eats & does not care about his health. I do care about mine. He thinks the raw & vegan lifestyles are stupid & does not support me on taking charge of my health. I shop every 2 weeks & buy no junk foods. I have always tried to eat healthy. That means limited sugars, no meat, watch the dairy, eat a lot of fresh veggies & fruits, & so forth. My spouse is a meat & potatoes guy. I honestly do not care if he is bent on ruining his health. I am beyond justifying or defending myself anymore. I basically eat just to survive. I no longer enjoy eating. So...my questions are what foods can I buy for myself that are not expensive because the spouse will freak out big time on me if I shop at a health food store. What else would be healthy choices besides adding seeds/nuts to eating more veggies & fruits? I am petite (102) & I am a long time sufferer of insomnia, leg aches, horrific migraines, Hypoglycemia, anxiety, & feeling down all the time. I can not shop at a health food store because of the prices (even though we could buy some things) so I am limited to Aldis or Walmart. The spouse is all about controlling the budget regarding food. Thank you for the responses.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2010 01:54AM by xyz.

Why is your food budget set by your husband? Are you a stay-at-home mom? If so, is there a way you can take in a child or two and use that extra money to save for organic raw foods and appliances? It sounds like you are dealing with a lot--a husband who doesn't support you, plus restriction in ability to buy the things you need. If you live in or near an urban area, an ethnic produce market is your best bet. Your local supermarket usually is going to be very expensive and not have an extensive selection. Good luck. Anything is possible. This too shall pass.

banana who Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why is your food budget set by your husband? Are
> you a stay-at-home mom? If so, is there a way you
> can take in a child or two and use that extra
> money to save for organic raw foods and
> appliances? It sounds like you are dealing with a
> lot--a husband who doesn't support you, plus
> restriction in ability to buy the things you need.
> If you live in or near an urban area, an ethnic
> produce market is your best bet. Your local
> supermarket usually is going to be very expensive
> and not have an extensive selection. Good luck.
> Anything is possible. This too shall pass.

Banana,
Thanks for responding. Simple. He controls everything. Any money I would bring in goes to him. This has happened in the past. I am trying to get the things that I need within the tight budget for food. No matter what I say or do is not good enough unless I stay under the budget by shopping at an ALdis or Walmart. That save more money for the spouse. The lack of support is just one of the many things wrong with this situation. I guess I just do not understand what 200-250 dollars can buy for me when I have all these other things like his food that he wants or expects. I was thinking of just incorporating the seeds & nuts along with the fresh fruits & veggies. Maybe buying some nut butters, organic milk, yogurt, & whatever else I can find that is a decent deal. I suppose this sort of list would limit me to a small sample of food choices. Like I said, I am eating to survive. I am always hungry & have no real appetite. Is it possible to eat the way I mentioned or will I have more problems doing so?

Is the $250 for you for the month? Is your own budget supposed to be about $50 a week? I don't know where you live. Could you start a garden if it's warm enough? I guess I would ask if you think this is an acceptable situation. It sounds like you know he is way too controlling. Do you have kids and feel dependant on him? Perhaps the best thing to start doing is to plan your escape. There are places you can go to get away from someone who tries to control every little thing. These are definite red flags. And of course it escalates. I want you to know that this is not the typical behavior of a loving husband, in case you were not really sure. Even if you have kids and don't have family to run to, you can still break away.

I kinda have to agree with banana who here, people with such major control issues are really dangerous... I have a friend who is in a wheel chair and has permanent brain damage now because of her controlling ex she assured me would never hurt her... I mean, its your choice, its your life, and we may be over reaching by saying what we have, but its only out of concern for you...

On another note, in the meantime, I suggest if it really is a survival thing, you want to eat vegan, but cant afford to eat a perfectly balanced meal, then Id suggest rice and red beans, cooked as your main protein, and as much veggies and fruit that you can scavenge, or purchase when on sale... if there is a really good sale and its something that handles freezing well, then thats a good option as well... thats basically how Ive been getting by since my food budget has drastically decreased... its not perfect, but its better than starving, and definitely better than eating the standard american diet...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Personally, I wouldn't accept that level of control from anyone. Your health is a result of your diet and your lifestyle, and perhaps you need to decide whether your health is more important to you versus making your husband happy.

But there are some things you can do. Sprouts are cheap and easy. Start a garden. Buy the overripe fruits and produce that are sold at a discount. Look around in your neighborhood for fruit trees that are unharvested, and ask permission to harvest their fruit.

I can only imagine how difficult life is for you being in such a controlled relationship. I know how easy it is to get drawn into that sort of pattern - been there - and how difficult it can be to imagine ever standing on your own independently again. But you CAN if you choose to do so.

I also understand that you may be choosing to stay in that situation for various reasons or that the situation may be temporary considering the economic times. I also agree with banana-who that you should start planning your escape.

However, if you choose to continue in that situation then here are my thoughts:

I think it is possible to eat the way you are suggesting and have fairly good health. Do the best that you can and give yourself a break when you can't meet your own high expectations.

You don't need to go to a health food store to buy healthy foods. You may not be able to afford organic on your budget but you can definately buy in bulk, and wash the produce. (Not optimal but not everybody can afford organic.) The Super Walmarts have a pretty nice veggie section, although not always the most affordable in town. Costco bulk is usually more affordable. Also, look for a restaurant supply store in your area as you may be able to buy in bulk there also. Any farmer's markets nearby?

I think the garden idea was brilliant! If your husband tells you 'no' or tries to control your gardening habits then definately get him out of your life. That would be utterly ridiculous.

Home grown sprouts are a cheap way of getting fresh nutrient dense food in the diet. In fact, if your penny-pinching husband knew the low-cost of sprouts compared to that of meat he would become a sprout eating vegan in no time! LOL

I guess I would need to know more about the variety in yours and his current diet to make more specific suggestions but... is it possible to cook his food but not your own? For example... cook his veggies but not yours? If you make spaghetti sauce you could save a portion to eat raw and cook the rest? If you have stir fry for dinner you eat the veggies uncooked? That sort of thing.

You could discuss with him that you will be exchanging certain foods for yourself and that it shouldn't cost 'more' in the budget. For example... instead of eating YOUR meat you can take the money to buy veggies for yourself. Let's face it... meat is not cheap and you can buy a lot of veggies and sproutables for the same price. Cut the meat budget in half and buy veggies for yourself.

A lot of times people will set unreasonable budgets and are clueless as to the actual cost of things or the difficulty of planning multiple meals within that budget. I think you need to let hubby do the shopping for a little while to see just how difficult it can be sticking to a tight budget. Even if it means that you coincidentally get really 'sick' around the next few shopping days and have to stay home while he goes on his own.

Could you tell him you need more money for the food budget and cut costs elsewhere? Maybe he can carpool to work. Cut back the TV bill. Or he can stop buying beer and cigarettes and give up his subscription to Sports Illustrated. (LOL, I'm just being mean and stereotyping.)

But ultimately I hope you ask yourself... Is this the life that I want?.... Is he capable of change?... Can I preserve my happiness and preserve the relationship?... Or do I need to walk away and start a new phase of my life?

Agree with the other posters' advice; so much useful stuff here.

Sprouts and bulk produce, purchased anywhere and washed well, is the way to go. It can be had cheaply, is nutrient dense(unlike cooked meat or dairy) and the fiber is satisfying. As you introduce more raw plant foods into your meals, you may find your appetite awakening, while your hunger diminishes because your body is receiving more concentrated nutrients.

Agree with the other posters with regard to your personal circumstances. It is difficult to achieve health, or anything, if one lives with someone not merely indifferent to one's welfare, but who actively blockades any advances one makes toward healthfulness. This is not a partenr--this is an enemy. If he's just apathetic or confused about your new food choices, maybe gingerly explain to your husband how much money you'll save if you eat a mostly plant based diet, thus turning a light on in his brain--aha! This is cheaper! Appeals to his financial self-interest could bring him 'round.

On the other hand, if his controlling the purse strings with so tight a fist is not about food but about smothering you alive, focus less on eating more raw foods and more on getting out of this relationship. Because raw foodism isn't going to help you in this case.

I wish you good health and good luck.

Xyz: I have been thinking about you since last night! I hope you are able to read everyone's responses. I know how scary it is to even imagine the thought of not being with someone, even if he is so controlling. You don't have to do everything overnight--that's the great part. If you can direct your attitude/thinking towards eventual escape, knowing that you deserve the best, then it will be possible. I really believe that you wanted to share this situation with us. You could have just said you were on a tight budget. I am so glad you told someone what is going on because it shows that you know deep down that it's not the way it should be! You mentioned that you have to turn over all money to him but what if he didn't know about it (or how much you get?) The idea Prana gave regarding sprouting is great--they are really superior nutrition and you can grow them in your kitchen without soil. Also, if you live near a Whole Foods or other health store with a bulk section, you can get organic beans, rice, oats, and spices at a lower price and can control how much you buy at one time. You can also sprout the smaller beans and it's cheaper than the packages

I'm on a tight budget ans I don't care for the rich recipes except on occassion. My main foods are salad, banana/cherry or blueberry & spinach green smoothies, red pepper soup, mushroom burgers, blackberry cobbler

Wal-Mart
bananas $2
frozen sweet cherries $3
frozen blueberries $3
Organic baby spinach $3
sun dried tomatoes $2
portobella mushroom caps $3
romaine lettuce $1.50
blackberries $3
walnuts $5
pecans $3

Aldi's
red bell peppers $ 1.50
tomatoes: $1


Health Food Store
raw cashew butter $6
agave $3

Asian Store
Medjool dates $4

$44

I can snack on a bag of baby carrots all day for $1 or a couple apples.

Organic is always best, but it's still healthier to eat non-organic raw vs processed SAD food in my opinion. We do what we can. It's a process.


WendySmiling in Oklahoma
www.16weeks2health.blogspot.com
12/17/10.......240/155/125

The Wendy that's actually smiling looks like a fun girl

Find yourself at least one supportive friend. Develop yourself and reclain your personal power. A relationship with such strong control issues is not healthy. It is actually a form of abuse. It took me a long time to realize that, having been in 2 bad marriages. My husband now is also a meat and potatoes guy. I have trouble getting him to eat much more than a few bites of lettuce. I cook him meat for dinner, it's my choice not to eat it. I make my own raw meals. If I need produce, he will buy it for me. He also doesn't really believe in the lifestyle. I am a stay at home mom with really no income of my own. It is possible to be raw with a meat-eater spouse. There has to be a mutual respect. Control is not love. If you have time to yourself, start journaling. Why did you marry him? How did he make you feel? Has anything changed? What and in what way? What steps can you take within yourself to improve the relationship? Going raw isn't only physical. It is also emotional.

Good Maude woman. Big hugs to you, my heart goes out to you in your situation.

Rocketship said -

"is it possible to cook his food but not your own? For example... cook his veggies but not yours? If you make spaghetti sauce you could save a portion to eat raw and cook the rest? If you have stir fry for dinner you eat the veggies uncooked?"

That's brilliant!

Like if you made a lentil soup for him, you could just sprout your portion of the beans.

If he has a problem with that, hit him over the head with the frying pan and run out the door.