This has been a struggle for me for along time. I don't know how to make sense of the world that isn't living a raw food lifestyle. I have been sidetracked so many times by friends and family, and the larger culture in general. I can't help but come to the conclusion that perhaps the world is crazy. I can't say that to anyone who doesn't understand or believe, as I just know that I am going to be the one to look crazy or fanatical from their point of view.

I am having trouble not having judgements, and I am feeling irritated at how 'in your face' cooking and cooked items seem to be. It appeared in some slides about a professor. She was holding a cake, looking very happy with her two sons. Most people wouldn't care, but to me she seems very unhealthy. Some students were wanting her to bring in a cake later in the semester! I thought to myself oh man how am I going to turn that down without drawing attention or pointed questions? Or in some way being the odd person out. I know that most people will not understand that, or say something provokative or critical. Maybe not, I don't know. I just want to go to the lectures, take the tests, get instruction, I don't really want to partake of unhealthy food if I can help it.

There are other things, like during the introductions everyone was talking about where they grew up, their family and children etc. I was very brief, and I didn't mention children because I don't have any. So the instructor asked directly if I had children. I felt put on the spot about if I had children or not. I would rather not share that kind of information, either about food or marital status or reproductive status etc....

I know the world doesn't understand and probably won't change, but how can I happly live with it and not draw attention?

Just concern yourself with your own life, health, happiness and finances. There are too many injustices in this world for you to focus on. The rest just treat as water off a ducks back.

I wish that what other people ate was my biggest concern at the moment. I live in a studio unit and have ' neighbours ' on either side who have thumping loud stereos coming through with their vibrations. Last night one had his going from 930PM till 5AM and either he or someone else is at it again this afternoon. I really can't afford to move, but might have to to avoid the daily dreaded noise.

Let other people live their own lives as long as it doesn't impinge on yours.

Bj,
I am certainly willing to let people live as they choose. I even do shopping and food preparation for my partner and his relatives. Often times there are items that I buy for them that I wouldn't consume myself. I don't think I have a problem with that.

I will admit to internal judgements about them, but I have remained quiet about it, except for rejecting offers. Thats really the only conflict is on that point, when I consistently reject particular items. Sometimes I get lectured with statments like "you can have those occationally" or "a little won't hurt you" etc... just annoying.

I just had a flashback about what is perhaps the real issue. I can remember being in school as a child and objecting to particular items in a class party, and really, really getting an inordinate amount of criticism for it. The teacher wasn't even supportive. I feel like I am reliving this event to some degree by taking classes as an adult, and once again being faced with the 'party' and potentially getting some criticism for it, or the wrong sort of attention. It is different because I think I will have more coping skills, and hopefully more people will be sensitive to the fact that some people are more health conscious.

Then as is now, I really do have a lot of other things that are bigger concerns, but I just have this feeling like its just another thing on top of everything else. And believe it or not I have recieved an inordinate amount of criticism for wanting to do the right thing. From family members, friends and coworkers. I am not crimping on anyone elses life or choices, really. So what if I avoid certain things at social gatherings I am not keeping anyone from partaking or enjoying what they like, but more often than not, someone will notice, and start asking questions and suggesting I take pills so I can eat like everyone else.

Mislu-

Everyone makes their own choices, and lives their own life. Maybe you are placing too much emphasis on how others are perceiving you. Another person's comments or suggestions can never effect you. Only your response to them and their comments can make you feel bad. You are the only thinker in your mind, and you can choose how you want to respond to whatever is happening.

Just make your own choices, live your own life, and allow others to do the same, It's all good. We can't change anyone else, only ourselves.

Mislu,

Agree with marsh, and suggest, with all kindness, that if you convince yourself that you are truly intent on this new lifestyle, then perhaps confidence about it and about yourself will emanate from you in such a way as to not invite controversy.

I think you have to be proud of your stance and own it. I look forward to opportunities where I get to turn down something and state that I'm mostly a raw vegan. If people look at me crazy for it, all the better.

Screw being like everyone else in a world full of overweight, unhealthy sheep. Be proud to be on this path!

I suppose raw food changes a lot of things at once.

I will be open to the idea that there won't be a problem, no worries.

Hey Mislu, I understand what you mean, as I'm at uni and am familiar with the protocol. I agree that it is difficult when all the questions come crashing down upon you. And yes, to be firm/assertive about your food choices is great, but sometimes you're tired and just don't want an in depth discussion. What I do, is have some pre-arranged replies ready, such as I'm feeling a little sick today, or I'm sensitive to gluten etc. That takes care of all the cakes, and pretty much anything make with grains (bread, cakes, scones, crackers, chips, etc. etc.).

Like Corathegreen, it's good to be able to preach the truth haha. But when I'm tired, in reply to the first question I say that I'm busy, or tired but will be happy to answer the questions at another time. This usually satisfies them, and if you do get a chance later on, then it's usually a one on one, so it's less stressful.

Cheers, geo

Geo, those are really great suggestions, but ideally one shouldn't have to answer anything or have questions. I just find it a bit annoying how there is this sense that everyone has to be the same about everything.

This is such a huge issue that everyone ignores when it comes to eating a Raw Diet.

We all think we SHOULD go Raw, when the world is basically aligned against us. Then we end up becoming paranoid, HATER conspiracy theorists that think we are BETTER than everyone else.

Believe me, I have been there and back, and still CONTINUE to go. I am NOT criticizing this position, which has alot of merit to it, but just substituting something better.

Why not go WITH the current a bit more? I'm not saying NOT to go RAW/ALKALINE, by all means surround yourself with that culture as much as possible, but when you aren't among those kinds of people (who are much more AWESOME and SELF-AWARE), just take a chill pill and maybe HAVE a piece of cake if you FEEL like it. You'll develop a feel for it - have the bad food if you want it, do not if you do not want it.

Not saying to be impulsive by the way, never give into that too much. Just that eventually, you ll start to associate good emotions with eating Raw and NOT CARE when you are not or others are not.

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That's a good point 'evolvewithflavour', and today after work I was pretty tired, and dropped in on a friend. His partner invited me for a cuppa which I accepted gladly, but with the cuppa came homemade biscuits. Instead of rejecting them, I eat a couple of the smaller ones. I didn't feel it was a problem at the time, as I thought about these comments we posted yesterday, and I hadn't had any such treats for some time.

As far as we all being the same, they're called 'social norms', with one theory suggesting that they are a form of social control to keep society functioning as a unified whole.

Cheers, geo

well, sometimes social norms are not correct or the best for people health, sometimes they are not the best for an individuals emotional or physical health. A particular norm may not always have to do with food. For those that do, sometimes has a big impact on somes health and well being. For instance food sensitivities that are even known in the general 'sad' environment. Like gluten, peanuts, dairy, soy. My niece has horrible reactions to peanuts, like her face swelling up, she also could stop breathing. I guess she will just have to cope with avoiding things that could possibly contain them. But because its recognized as a food sensitivity, perhaps there will be more understanding and less social pressure to conform to the social norms around things containging peanuts. I still think this will be a lot easier than anyone wanting to be a raw foodist 100% of the time.

I am not completely raw as it is, but there are a lot of foods I am sensitive to. I don't think I am better than anyone else. I don't expect anyone else to become raw or give up anything they like. I just don't want to feel sick. I have a medical condition which makes eating particular foods a big, big problem. I just find it annoying when someone says "you can have x,y or z" occationally, or 'you can have just a little bit'.

How does anyone know what I can have or not? Why am I receiving this advice? Especially about a health matter that they have no knowledge about? Its a bit of projection to think I am making a statement about being better than someone else, or telling anyone what they should be doing or not.

Some locations are much better in this reguard than in others. I noticed that in more educated places the level of tolerance is better. Its really a matter of tolerance, not about anything else.

Are you a pisces, Mislu? if you don't mind me asking..

Rawalice,
No,not a pisces. I don't see the connection at all, but then again I my knowledge of astrology is very limited.

I found out more about the instructor after having her for awhile. It might sound like a criticism, and it is. Shes a bit heavy and has a hard time completing lectures, certainly hardly has any energy to walk around and help students in lab. So the time is not very effective. It makes me wonder why she chose to show a slide photo introducing herself holding a cake. Is it to appear friendly, happy and approachable? She did seem all of the above in the photo, or is it to draw attention and perhaps reach out some how for help? I don't know. Maybe not worth speculating on.

She also has mentioned a back injury, so that may be the reason for her troubles. She said she managed it for years without trouble, as long as she performed the appropriate management exercise, but admits that she no longer does them.

I don't know why I mention any of this. I would like to think that an instructor in the health care educational setting would set a really good example of taking care of herself.

What is really more interesting is the program director. She has commented that the food she saw me eating was 'very healthy'. She is very thin and athletic, energetic, very inspirational. I wondered the other day if she was a vegan or a vegetarian, or nearly vegetarian. Certainly she is conscious of calories and nutrition. I don't imagine that she eats much junk foods, but probably allows herself minor indulgence.

rawalice Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Are you a pisces, Mislu? if you don't mind me
> asking..


LOL- As an astrology buff, I would humbly ask if he's a Virgo with maybe Pisces in Saturn...

Do you think there is a teensy part of you that wishes you could eat some of that SAD junk? You mention having sensitivities and all...I see a connection with the "
do you have kids?" issue. I have experienced that one myself. It seems that I am always "different" in some way from the vast majority of people. However, it sounds (from my subjective viewpoint) that maybe you don't like having attention called to the fact you are different. There are certain things that are irritating for me, but someone asking if I have kids (even in public) isn't one of them because I know that it's almost unthinkable in some circles and I am happy to educate people about what is "normal" or not.

Banana who,
Thank you for the sensitivity in noticing some pretty fine details. Yes, I am now a little more sensitive to being perceived as 'different'. I used to relish being 'different' and saw it as purely an objective term, until someone in a work environment called me 'different' in a pejoritive way. I became even more sensitive after living in a small backward town in the pacific northwest for a few years. There conformity was all the norm, the expectation, what was 'right'. Without giving any thought to ways of being nonconforming might be ok, or even more ideal. Of course not everyone conformed, but if you were conforming, life was considerably easier.

I found it a bit uncomfortable being asked at the introduction of the class if I had children. Mostly because it potentially drew attention to sexual orientation. It really doesn't have anything to do with that, but quite often there is an association. I didn't want any attention to be drawn to that. Just as I don't want attention drawn to my ethnicity. One that is extremely well known, a lot of stereotypes, and very, very, very few people who can claim it. So its usually a topic I have grown to not want to share really. Its not a secret really, its just that I don't want that to become the sole focus of who they think I am.


I will admit to taking part in some less than ideal foods. Some might be labled as 'junk sad foods'. But I really, really like to know the exact contents of these junk foods. Some are really much worse than others. Roasted peanuts are probably not ideal, but those are better than doughnuts, as an example. Or pastry made with shortening. Or say a homemade cake with shortening frosting. And yes some people say that such and such reciped doesn't turn out right unless they use real shortening. Something I seriously avoid if at all possible.

I really have a bad reaction to foods with a lot of dyes, shortening or with a lot of ingredients. If something has more than 4 or 5 ingredients I generally avoid it, as far as packaged goods go. So its not really an issue of stating strictly raw or avoiding sad. Its about not feeling ill by any standard. Its about knowing what I can really take, and 'cheat' on and actually live to tell about it later.

I think that it raises these emotions of annoyance and frustration and defensiveness when we are with outgoingly SAD eaters because...

...deep down we all want everybody to feel healthy and happy in this way, and some people you think would just be so impossible to turn on to raw food, hardly stand a chance of ever evolving to the point where they would discover it, and especially when they have the added strength of their convictions that comes with support from tons of other people... they're just light years away from where they would have to be to understand where youre coming from...

...and it's like you say to yourself, what could I DO here to help? And sometimes the answer is nothing! To me, that feeling is so frustrating that it makes me feel like Yosimite Sam, fuming and crabby and kinda hostile.

Breakroom Co-workers: "Why are you eating a giant plate full of carrots? We want the TRUTH!"

Me: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" (angrily slams breakroom door)

But it all really kind of comes from this huge love we have of seeing people heal.