My fruit doesn't like me. It does everything it can into fooling me of its ripeness. Except for bananas. I get along with bananas pretty well now. If only every other fruit would develop spots.

The other day I bought some peaches. I was sure they were ready to become one with my inner being as they were a bit soft when I adopted them from the store, but as soon as I cut into one it was obvious it had tricked me, with its hard as a rock abs laughing at my desire like a woman who knows I've gone too long without and am thus, at her mercy. So I let the other peaches bathe in the soothing shadows of my kitchen for a couple of days and almost over night they went from radiant looking peaches to what appeared to be shriveled up gonads from too much radiation. I know, I lost my appetite, too.

I'm also battling pears and mangoes. It seems I have to wait until they have the skins of 80 year olds before they are ready to lose their virginity, if you know what I mean, and then they must be deflowered quickly before old age sets in and even organ donation is out of the question.

Oranges are at least a happy bunch. It seems I seldom if ever meet one that isn't ready and willing, always eager to be stripped of its clothing.

Am I alone at this quest, to have a harem of fruit always waiting to please, while everyone else has them tamed and mastered?

You're funny! Usually if I follow the ripening recommendations for each fruit, which you can google, everything ripens fine. As long as your home is a relatively stable, somewhat cool temperature, they should ripen fine. For certain fruits, it's important to make sure they're soft everywhere.

Simple Raw Recipes & Health Tips

I put my fruit in a brown paper bag over the refrigerator to ripen them. You have to check them every couple of days. Works great for peach, pears, avocados, etc. Bananas are already sprayed to become ripe so allowing them to sit out at room temperature is fine. Tomatoes and pineapple can sit out and ripen at room temperature.

Smell, density (softness), and color of the fruit will indicate the ripeness. Of course, picking something ripe already will take care of the problem of unripened fruit.

GilmoreGirl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You're funny! Usually if I follow the ripening
> recommendations for each fruit, which you can
> google, everything ripens fine. As long as your
> home is a relatively stable, somewhat cool
> temperature, they should ripen fine. For certain
> fruits, it's important to make sure they're soft
> everywhere.

well, I thought my home was relatively stable, but now you've given me doubts. Maybe my fruit is trying to tell me something, maybe it's picking up on my vibe, maybe I need therapy...

I'll do some googling and see what I can find. My main struggle is trying to determine when my fruit has had enough foreplay and is ready for action. Some seem so fickle, so ephemeral, so cold until one day they scream, take me now or lose me forever...

life101 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I put my fruit in a brown paper bag over the
> refrigerator to ripen them. You have to check them
> every couple of days. Works great for peach,
> pears, avocados, etc. Bananas are already sprayed
> to become ripe so allowing them to sit out at room
> temperature is fine. Tomatoes and pineapple can
> sit out and ripen at room temperature.
>
> Smell, density (softness), and color of the fruit
> will indicate the ripeness. Of course, picking
> something ripe already will take care of the
> problem of unripened fruit.


So shame is the way to go, hiding them in a paper bag like a drunk with a bottle. I'll definitely give that a go with my peaches and pears. That ought to teach them, though with my recent peach purchase they were already soft all the way around on the outside, but hard in the middle, and then quickly deteriorated into old age. The entire batch was laid to rest without ever having experienced a fulfilled life. I get along well with my tomatoes, so they are not a problem. I can only handle pineapple in short doses, so mostly buy them frozen, adding a few chunks to smoothies, which makes me wonder, can we trust those who freeze our fruit to do so when the fruit is ripe? There's no accounting for softness or smell then. Thanks for the tip.

Ah, Jim, how I miss your postings when you are long absent!

I suspect, but have not looked to far into it as ignorance is bliss, that more and more growers are using artifical "ripening" methods to give fruit the appearance of readiness just for sale. Scent they cannot duplicate, as yet, so I still go by whether a fruit smells ripe rather than just what it looks/feels like. Don't know where you are, but if you are in a farm state, buy local in season and you won't be sorry. I have gotten rock hard peaches at the farm that a day later were yielding and honey sweet, and I cannot recall the last time I could say that about distantly shipped peaches. Agree with the others about keeping unripe fruit in darkness. This may be the only way to efficiently mitigate the evils of global fruit exportation when purchasing out of season. I must say, though, that I have thrown in the towel with mangos--there is no conceivable way to predict what one will get when one cuts into what appears to be a beautifully ripened mango. If repulsion is ever the reaction, just don't buy that fruit anymore!

I love mangoes and pineapples it is very hard to get good ones in the winter.

Testing 123

Tamukha Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ah, Jim, how I miss your postings when you are
> long absent!
>
> I suspect, but have not looked to far into it as
> ignorance is bliss, that more and more growers are
> using artifical "ripening" methods to give fruit
> the appearance of readiness just for sale. Scent
> they cannot duplicate, as yet, so I still go by
> whether a fruit smells ripe rather than just what
> it looks/feels like. Don't know where you are,
> but if you are in a farm state, buy local in
> season and you won't be sorry. I have gotten rock
> hard peaches at the farm that a day later were
> yielding and honey sweet, and I cannot recall the
> last time I could say that about distantly shipped
> peaches. Agree with the others about keeping
> unripe fruit in darkness. This may be the only
> way to efficiently mitigate the evils of global
> fruit exportation when purchasing out of season.
> I must say, though, that I have thrown in the
> towel with mangos--there is no conceivable way to
> predict what one will get when one cuts into what
> appears to be a beautifully ripened mango. If
> repulsion is ever the reaction, just don't buy
> that fruit anymore!


Hey Tamukha, I've been busy being bad, probably why my fruit has been punishing me, but now I am finally locked into a healthy diet, having chased away the last of those inner demons that demand I cheat, on occasion, with the food of the damned. I'm going to have to work on my olfactory skills for general ripeness; already today another mango bit the dust, beautiful on the outside but rotten to the core. Whole Foods has been selling 10 manila mangos for $10, so I can't resist. The good ones are too good.

I'm in Chicago. Thankfully the organic farmer's market starts up next weekend, so I'm looking forward to an abundance of locally (or at least nearby) grown foods. Like you, I have to wonder about any artificial ripening methods, but I guess we can at least take comfort in the fact that it's still fruit and not as bad as any laboratory concocted chemically stuffed hotdog...

Jimtoo, are you talking about the Green City Market? I went there once but I need to try again, I think...By the way, Aldi's has Manilas sometimes for .59 and HUGE. Same with avos.

banana who Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jimtoo, are you talking about the Green City
> Market? I went there once but I need to try again,
> I think...By the way, Aldi's has Manilas sometimes
> for .59 and HUGE. Same with avos.


Yes, Green City Market - I love it and can't wait to start spending all of my money there...I'll be money poor but nutritionally rich.

And I thought a buck a mango was a good deal...thanks for the tip.

Jimtoo considering most fruit/veg are kinda of the oblong shape or not perfectly round most people squeeze around the middle for ripeness which is the thickest widest part .. by the time you have give at that point the middle can be well over ripe

try taking your thumb and pushing on the stem end or the bottom end and see if it has give there .. that slight *give* is a good indication of ripeness in most fruits *not all* but its a better indicator then squeezing it around the middle i find

i made you a poem to remember

theres a fineline between ripeness and rot
and rot is all jimtoo has bought
so no more squeezing and fiddlin
round yer papayas fat middlin
or compost is all that you got !



...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist




Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/01/2013 06:00AM by Jgunn.

Jodi, that is double awesome!!!

Jodi, that is double awesome. I love it.

A "haiku" just for you:

My papaya is round and fat,
So I've been massaging her belly and back,
But who knew, she'd prefer, her bottom, not her rack.

Okay, so that's not even close to being a haiku, but it's the best I've got after so early rising from the sack.

Lol jimtoo triple awesome for the win lol! That's great.

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Jgunn Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Lol jimtoo triple awesome for the win lol! That's
> great.


No, no, you win!

Heh.

LMFAO !!!!!

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Nice to see I'm not the only one who associates fruit with romantic activities...

Coco, ROTFL!

Want another one?



Tee hee!

They had always been a happy handsome couple, a lovely pair of oranges hanging out in the back of the fridge and never bothering a soul, so it came as quite a shock when she went bad, caught naked with the banana. He confronted her, of course, but to no avail, he could never satisfy her as well as the banana, lacking his skills and, um, tools. Neighbors said she had always been kind, a little on the quiet side, and, undeniably, tastefully sweet. To this day, though, they still wonder what happened, why she ran off with the banana – it’s always the banana that goes bad first, negatively influencing others into letting their hair down, if not their clothing. The community of fruit – the nectarine, the pears – gathered around their fallen friend in support, hoping he would stay in the fridge and chill, but the damage had been done. Depressed and dejected, the heart-broken orange drifted away from his community, from the security of the icebox, where he discovered the false comforts of smoke and booze, and he wouldn’t give them up until it was too late, until he was rotten to the core.

Quote

Am I alone at this quest, to have a harem of fruit always waiting to please, while everyone else has them tamed and mastered?

The trick is to choose a few pieces to make an example of, and beat them into submission. The rest will quickly do whatever you say.

Works on children too

jimtoo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> banana who Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Jimtoo, are you talking about the Green City
> > Market? I went there once but I need to try
> again,
> > I think...By the way, Aldi's has Manilas
> sometimes
> > for .59 and HUGE. Same with avos.
>
>
> Yes, Green City Market - I love it and can't wait
> to start spending all of my money there...I'll be
> money poor but nutritionally rich.
>
> And I thought a buck a mango was a good
> deal...thanks for the tip.

How did it go? I have to get back. I was underwhelmed last time but I went when they had it indoor at the nature museum. Lots of meat at that time I went once when it was outside but you know, it can get pretty crowded and all. Are you going to the Green Fest this year? It's at Navy Pier again I find it a tourist hell hole, myself...

Bah ha ha ha ha! Jimtoo! Awesome story, I loved it .

Fruit porn?

Well, there's no end to the value of fruit, whether it be for educational, nutritional, or entertainment consumption...

Hey B Who, I guess I'm not too picky about farmer's markets. I enjoy Green City Market, despite the crowds or all the baked goods or the tents emitting their aroma of cooked foods - seems like there's even more of that this year. I used to live within a few blocks, but now have to drive to get there so don't go as often, as parking is a pain. It's much better when it is outside than in. Anyway, I got my supply of greens.

I think I might go to Green Fest this year, too, even though I know what you mean. I enjoyed it the first couple of years I went, not so much last time, and have now skipped it for a year or two, but I enjoy some of the talks and I'm free to do so this weekend, so I'll probably check it out.