It looks like a good time to post an old post of mine.

Warning - this is another long post!

[www.rawfoodsupport.com]
If the doors of perception were cleansed...
John Rose (---.152.252.98.Dial1.Houston1.Level3.net)
Date: 10-01-02 15:19

The purpose of this post is to help eliminate and resolve some of the conflict that we have on this BB, as well as in our own personal lives. From my analysis, I have come up with 3 major sources of conflict, which I would like to share with everyone.

Sources of Conflict:

1) 93% of All Communication Is Nonverbal
2) Less Than Perfect Comprehensive and Memory Skills
3) Different Personalities Have Different Rules

1) 93% of All Communication Is Nonverbal

One of the biggest problems that we have when we try to communicate on the internet is that only seven percent of all communications are verbal, which means that ninety three percent are nonverbal. This makes me think that maybe Kahlil Gibran was on to something we he said that, "We shall never understand one another until we reduce the language to seven words."

Here is what a few other people have said about this subject:

"But, how does one detect ones detractor's emotions via their written word? Of course, one does not; we infer other people's emotions, sometimes erroneously, ourselves." John Coleman

"I just want all of us to remember that without the inflections, visual cues, and full context of in person conversation, most of what we post is difficult to fully grasp. You too have often been misunderstood on this and other boards. Let's just rememeber that you (Jeff N), me, Alan and many other of the long time posters here are all on the same team." Dr. Doug Graham

"Unfortunately, the internet, email, and message boards are a very difficult medium to hold discussions. Much of the "exchange" that happens between people in person, and even on the phone is lost. As we all know, the possibility of miscommunication between people even when in person, is great. It is only that much more greater on these new hi tech mediums. That is why we have to be much more careful about how we interpret things, and what is meant/intended in these posts and be more careful before we take things personally and to true to better ascertain intent/meaning." Jeff N

"When I read different posts, I remind myself that written words cannot express a person’s body language. You can’t see the other person’s intention, or them leaning forward reaching out, or their smile. Filter people’s posts through a love filter before you let it affect you personally." Frama

2) Less Than Perfect Comprehensive and Memory Skills

Another problem that I have noticed is that very few people are 100% accurate at comprehending and memorizing what is said. Unfortunately, there's no way that I know of to make people work harder at improving their skills in this area. The only suggestion that I can make is to remember the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. - "Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love."

3) Different Personalities Have Different Rules

Imo, this is one of the biggest sources of conflict in our lives, especially on this BB. I shared my ideas on this subject over 2 years ago and I feel that it is time to share once again. One of the many things that I have studied to help me understand how to get our message of raw food and fasting out to the masses has been a personality test that is based on quantum physics and this test has been one of the best tools that I have learned.

As this test points out, not everyone perceives reality the same as everyone else. In fact, different personalities have different rules, they think differently, they go from point A to point B differently, what's important to one personality may not be important to another personality, and many times most personalities are totally oblivious to the other personalities. Once again, this is one of the biggest sources of conflict that we see here on this site as well as in real life.

Basically this test is a way of keeping tract of our choices in life under three different circumstances. We can either Act, Talk, Think or Analyze in all sorts of combinations, and these are the four main personality traits, but usually two traits will dominate in each of the three different circumstances, which gives a total of six different personality modes. For a quick overview, one group acts and does things quickly, another group talks and does things friendly, another group thinks and does things creatively, and the last group analyzes and does things carefully.

Once again, two traits usually dominate in each of the three different circumstances, which creates six different personality modes. If one acts and talks, they are an extrovert. If one thinks and analyzes, they are an introvert. If one acts and analyzes, they are convergents. If one talks and thinks, they are divergents. And finally, if one acts and thinks, they are an individualist, and if one talks and analyzes, they are a conformist.

There are actually 12 characteristics in each of the 4 main personality traits, so some people have strong traits while others have only moderate traits. In addition to these six main personality modes, there also twelve secondary traits that are based on whether you have one of the four main traits in all three circumstances. For example, if you have the trait that thinks in all three circumstances, then you will have these additional traits...Imagination, Conceptualization, and Empathy.

Here is a recap:

Four Color-Coded Prototypes:

Prototype #1 Red
Prototype #2 Yellow
Prototype #3 Blue
Prototype #4 Green

Prototype #1 Act - Does it Quickly
Prototype #2 Talk - Does it Friendly
Prototype #3 Think - Does it Creatively
Prototype #4 Analyze - Does it Carefully

Prototype #1 Asks What and When
Prototype #2 Asks Who and Who Else
Prototype #3 Asks Why and What If
Prototype #4 Asks How and Where

Prototype #1 From the Specific to the Specific
Prototype #2 From the Specific to the General
Prototype #3 From the Specific to the General to the Specific
Prototype #4 From the General to the Specific

Twelve Secondary Traits:

Prototype #1:

Insistence - Adult & Parent
Activeness - Parent & Child
Assertiveness - Adult & Child

Prototype #2:

Sociability - Adult & Parent
Supportiveness - Parent & Child
Adaptability - Adult & Child

Prototype #3:

Conceptuality - Adult & Parent
Empathy - Parent & Child
Imaginativeness - Adult & Child

Prototype #4:

Precision - Adult & Parent
Control-Mindedness - Parent & Child
Predictability - Adult & Child

Three Ego States:

Adult (Ego) - Like To
Parent (Super-Ego) - Ought To
Child (Id) - Need To

Five Ego States:

Adult (Ego) - Like To
Positive Parent (Super-Ego) - Ought To
Positive Child (Id) - Need To
Negative Parent (Super-Ego) - Ought To
Negative Child (Id) - Need To

How to apply this knowledge:

The top graph or Like To graph, which is our at work behavior, is purely intellectual and is usually developed from ages 10-20. This graph tells us what type of work we will do best at simply because we like doing it, and will also tell us how we would manage others.

The middle graph or Ought To graph is developed or conditioned from ages 0-10. This graph is created by the way our Parents or any other authority figure raised us, and it’s now the way we deal with authority figures and the way we want to be managed. Interestingly, 2 out of 3 people tested, according to Nolan and confirmed by the 100+ tests that I have given, are Yellow-Blue or Blue-Yellow or Divergent Personality Types. Most parents tell us what (Red) and how (Green) when we are children, so when we grow up we don’t want to be treated as children anymore. We want more flexibility (Yellow) and more freedom (Blue). This Ought To graph is half emotional and half intellectual.

The bottom graph or Need To graph is purely emotional...it’s what we inherited from our parents. This graph is really who we are and as we age, we spend more time in this graph or personality mode. It's our bottom graph that is our at home behavior.

Remember, the top graph is purely intellectual and since the bottom two graphs have emotions, Nolan, who was the man that came up with this test, shows both Positive and Negative graphs for the bottom two graphs and this is how Nolan comes up with a total of 5 graphs.

Now we go into the negatives. All of these graphs are a lot like changing gears and this is why you want to be sure that your job coincides with your Like To graph so that you have a buffer zone. For example, if you have a Red job and you have Red in your bottom graph, but you don’t have much or any Red in your top two graphs, then you are just one step away from the fourth graph, your -Parent or Negative Ought To and you will have Nonproductive Stress Symptoms.

And now we’re only one step away from the fifth graph, which is the -Child or Negative Need To graph. When Red’s get in their negatives, they have to do something physical, so they usually hit or throw things. Most of your wife beaters are high Red. This explains why a lot of athletes hit their wives. Obviously, there are other considerations besides personality that determine our behavior, e.g. values, environment, diet, etc.. When Yellow’s get in their negatives, they get rebellious and yell. When Blue’s get into their negatives, they play poor me and become withdrawn. And when the Green’s get into their negatives, they play a game called NIGYYSOAB, which stands for Not I Got Ya Ya Son Of a Bitch. Whatever you do, don’t piss off a high Green. They are master chess players and will set you up. :-)

Nolan referred to the top graph as the rational dimension, the middle graph as the socialized system and the bottom graph as the instinctive level. And then according to Freud, the top graph is our Ego, the middle graph is our Superego and the bottom graph is our Id. Nolan correlated these 3 graphs to the 3 different levels of the brain and he also correlated the left and right hemisphere of the brain to Convergence and Divergence, respectively.

Nolan also said that much of the conflict in our society comes from people imposing their rules on others. The problem with this is that different colors, i.e. people, have different rules and most people have no idea what color or personality you are nor do they know your rules, unless they have a similar personality or they have studied this test. As Nolan says, "How a person comes across is not necessarily where he is coming from."

Of course, it doesn't take too long to figure out how to push people's buttons, but then you may or may not understand why they think the way they do. For example, Blues complain to Reds...Why are you not more thoughtful?...while Reds complain to Blues...What are you doing you lazy bum? High Reds without any Blue or Green act quickly without thinking or analyzing. Reds work hard, but Blues work smart. When Reds perceive Blues as not working, Blues are working their hardest.

Reds are high energy people. Their motto is ready, fire, aim. Remember, Reds are physically active...if they get in their negatives, they have to do something physical, for some that means they hit and for others they may throw or slam things, etc.. It is the bottom two graphs that have emotions and have the potential for Negative behavior.

Using a Car Analogy: Reds are the motor, i.e. physical energy. Yellows are the lubricants to make sure everything goes smoothly. Blues are the steering wheel to guide us in the right direction, i.e. mental energy. And finally Greens are the brakes to give us control.

Nolan said that 80% of the people who took this test first married their opposites and 80% of second marriages married similar personalities. Nolan said, "In an interesting way, Reds and Blues, which are opposites, attract and then repel; while Yellows and Greens, which are also opposites, go through the reverse process. They repel and then attract. So for the system to work, a third color is always needed as a facilitator while the fourth color becomes antagonistic." Of course, personality is just one of the many things that we look for in a mate.

Once again, opposites attract, especially reds and blues. Reds need that mental energy and blues need that physical energy. What initially attracted you will eventually drive you crazy, especially if you don't know where they are coming from. This doesn't mean that you have to find someone just like you. For example, someone might be very low Green and may be attracted to someone with Green because they need that security. As long as they understand this, then they wouldn't get so annoyed at the Green's rules and stubbornness. If you want that security, you have to pay a price.

Companies that use Nolan's service end up with these personality profiles displayed on everybody's desks so that when you walk into someone's office, you'll know how to push the right buttons. If someone is high Yellow, you say we need your help...if high Blue, we need your ideas...if high Red, we need it done in a hurry...if high Green, we need it done right...etc.

The problem that many of us have is that we tend to take things too personally, and we don't realize that others have different rules and maybe they don't know our rules. Those who analyze, for example, are perfectionist and may seem to others as critical, because they are looking for what is wrong so that they will be perfect. These personalities are also very skeptical and can be very stubborn, if they get into their negatives. The point is that there is no such thing as a good or bad personality and all personalities have there strengths and weaknesses. And aren't we glad that there are different personalities...this would be a very boring world if we were all alike.

Anyway, I've been wanting to share this information with y’all for some time now and I hope that this will help avoid some of the [otherwise] inevitable conflicts in the future.

Peace and Love.......John

PS I realize that most people have a pretty good idea of their own personality by their mid twenties, however almost no one ever understands those personalities that are different from their own. Perhaps the best way to explain this is to tell y’all the story of the six blind men of India.

Six wise men of India
An elephant did find
And carefully they felt its shape
For all of them were blind.
The first he felt toward the tusk,
'It does to me appear,
This marvel of an elephant
Is very like a spear!'
The second sensed the creature's side
Extended flat and tall,
'Ahah!' he cried and did conclude,
'This animal's a wall.'
The third had reached toward a leg
and said, 'It's clear to me
What we should all have instead
This creature's like a tree.'
The fourth had come upon the trunk
Which he did seize and shake
Quote he, 'T his so-called elephant
Is really just a snake!'
The fifth had felt the creature's ear
And fingers o'er it ran,
"I have the answer, never, fear,
The creature's like a fan!'
The sixth had come upon the tail
As blindly he did grasp,
'Let my conviction now prevail
This creature's like a rope
And so these six men of missing sight
Each argued loud and long
Through each was partly right
They all were in the wrong

Just like these 6 blind men, there are six different personality modes. And since there are only 3 different circumstances, that means at the most we may be able to relate to 3 of the 6 personalities. So you may very well know that you are a snake and a rope and a spear, but you have no idea how a wall or a fan or a tree perceives the world, so to speak.

Peace and Love..........John